Just Me

Aye, your local lesbian friend

[starshine-092418]

“Neither do you, you gay bish”

Context: I am a lesbian and my friend, M, is a queer asexual. We were working on a class that absolutely kills our brains and had been eating a lot of sugar. This conversation followed:

Me: *says something really stupid but genuine*

M: *laughs and tries to hide it*

Me: Uh huh that’s not funny

M: Hey, at least I tried to say it with a straight face!

Me: you don’t have a straight face

M: neither do you, you gay bish!

And thus ensued the hysterical laughter from all parties in the room. I am fucking crazy, but I am free 😅

[inkblue-computerhead]

some things i’ve learned while studying in quarantine

drink more water instead of more coffee.

weekly goals are bullshit. set yourself 3-day goals. you’ll be less laid-back.

don’t just mindlessly stare at words. before you start studying, know your approach to it. have a plan.

summarizing the concept in your own words is the key part of taking notes. don’t just copy things down, convert them into your own way of talking, your own vocabulary, no matter how dumb and unprofessional it sounds.

don’t let the “studyblr aesthetic” fool you. studying doesn’t have to be pretty. summaries and notes can be messy as long as they’re comprehensible. you can always rewrite and reorganize them later. (honestly, you better do. and you better keep them.)

don’t throw away the papers you’ve solved your problems in. staple them to the fucking textbook. you need to see them constantly. cause you’ll need reminders of how far you’ve came, when you’re feeling discouraged.

don’t be an armchair analyst for your issues. if you have an idea then act on it.

remember: the exact point where it becomes difficult, is where your growth begins. take a deep breath, and try to focus on the paragraph in front of you.

get off your high horse and understand that if you’re a zero, you won’t go to 100 in a couple of days. first, you’ll need to reach 30, then from 30 to 60, and then from 60 to 90. nobody is 100 everyday. that happens very rarely.

you need to have fun everyday. you need to have peaceful time every single day. even on exam night. especially on exam night, actually. so make sure you’ve studied enough so you can have some time to yourself.

once you’re on a roll and in need of some challenge to stay on track, start writing down your studying hours. tell yourself you’re not allowed to do less than 80% of what you did yesterday. whatever the hell it was, even just one hour. so if yesterday you really studied for like, say 8 hours, today your goal is to study for at least 6 and a half hours. if you can’t keep up with that, make it 70%, or 60%. 

be forgiving of yourself. be kind to yourself. even if you bounced back and lost your streak. start again. as slowly as you did before. take your time. it’s okay, you were there once you can get there again.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

You can't possibly give me anxiety about windows

Someday you will come across a house, and you will make your home there. Someday you will realize this house has a certain number of windows on the outside, and a certain number of windows on the inside, and that these numbers are not the same. You will try to count, and re-count, and will grow frustrated and confused, and eventually you will forget and life will continue, as it does. But then someday you will have a child, and the child will grow older, and when the child is still small but old enough to count, the child will count the windows. The child will realize there is an extra window in the little attic (the attic they are not allowed to be alone in), a window that does not exist. They will ask you about it, and you will hum and say something vague, and move on to thinking about other things. But your child will remember, and they will wander around the outside of the house, lost in the summer greenery of childhood, and they will search and search and never find the window peaking out. So one quiet night, when the wind is gentle and the shadows are quiet, your child will sneak out of bed, and steal the key to the little attic, and they will climb the creaking stairs, one at a time. If you ask them, they will say they could hear whispering, whispers winding down the halls, coming from the top of the house, coming from the other side of the glass. But you won't get a chance to ask. Instead you will awaken in the night knowing the way a person sometime knows that something is terribly wrong. And you will run to the attic, understanding only now that there is something wrong with the attic, has always been something wrong with the attic, that you were always afraid of this, all this time. You will lunge up the stairs, clumsy and wild-eyed, to find the attic door gaping open like a hungry thing. And your child will be there, on the other side of the room, stepping off a wooden stool and slipping through the tiny window frame that has been locked and bolted and painted shut for years. You will lurch forward as they disappear head first through the window, you will grasp for their tiny child's foot as it slips away, and when your hand closes over nothing the attic shadows will rise up to swallow you, as if a sink stopper has been pulled and all the light is draining down, down and away.

Someday you will wake up in a different house you have lived in for years. You will go to the kitchen the way you do every morning, and make the same breakfast you have been making for years. You will drop the coffee mug, will watch it shatter on the floor, as you finally remember, as it all comes rushing back. You will run frantically through the house, opening doors to rooms that are yours but also wrong, all wrong. You will already know what you won't find, and still you will fling open every door, hunting for a bedroom, shouting the name of a child who no longer exists.

My ko-fi and patreon

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

someone in my inbox just pointed out most people’s forearms are the same length as their feet, so clown monsters should always have elongated arms

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Anatomically Correct Clown Skeleton

[teethkeeper]

The bumps in the skull were for the clown afros

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

this is the only legal comment

[kreature-ofthenight]

you can clearly see the nose was perfectly round

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

fun fact! clown noses are actually a separate parasitic organism. clowns are extremely susceptible hosts precisely bc of the bone structure exhibited above

[socks-the-caffeine-gremlin-deac]

draw the parasite nose

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i would be interested in seeing an artist’s take on clown nose anatomy

[im-going-to-mimi-cry]

maybe like this ??

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

this is a personal favorite. of like, anything anyone has ever said or done in response to one of my shitposts. this is the one that broke me. I legitimately am going to go stare at a wall for a few minutes now. please excuse me

[starshine-092418]

Sometimes the internet breaks my brain

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

fuck it up buttercup 

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

go for the kill daffodil 

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

fight the power sunflower

[caughtincamorr]

These have now been adopted permanently

[starshine-092418]

Oh yeah

[starshine-092418]

Me: *talking about hi-tops/chucks* So I like the black ones and

Her: (my gf) yeah I pick some sneakers and that’s that

Me: I know dear

Her: ..sneaker shoe, I choose you!!

Me: never... never say that again...

[starshine-092418]

Disclaimer: my girlfriend was dreaming and half asleep during all of this...

My girlfriend: Babe we cant get the music stand in the shower

Me: babe... what?

Her: and why do you have bread in the shower... but a better question (she said this in all seriousness) how did you toast it?

Me: umm...

Her: we have a big fucking shower

Me: okay hun

Her: and you’re showering with your clothes on for some reason

Me: k dear

[holy-scoliosis-deactivated20190]

“you’ll want to have sex with men when you get older”

[sophiescribble]

House pride! 💚💙💛❤️

[lovelysuggestions]

I chose you and I’m never changing my mind

[frodo-sam]

The deluminator. It doesn’t just turn off lights. I don’t know how it worked but Christmas morning, I was sleeping in this little pub, keeping away from some Snatchers, and I heard it. A voice. Your voice, Hermione. You said my name. Just my name. Like a whisper. So I took it, clicked it and this tiny ball of light appeared. And I knew. It flew towards me, the ball of light, right through my chest and straight through me. Right here. [touches his heart] And I knew it was going to take me where I needed to go.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 1 (2010). Directed by David Yates, based on the novel by J. K. Rowling.

[thegoodvybe]

[gaypeopletwitter]

[starshine-092418]

Yes because girls are fuckin’ hot

[gaypeopletwitter]

[gaypeopletwitter]

[starshine-092418]

I want this with my girl...

[starshine-092418]

So today,

I had a fucking awesome day. Y’know those days where you think “This is perfect”? Well I had one. It’s my anniversary so naturally I was all cheesy for my girl. However, all day, I had this pit in my stomach sayin “something bad is gonna happen” and well... currently I’m laying in bed crying because my girlfriend got caught lying so we’re now not allowed to see each other or talk to each other for god knows how long. Anyone care to talk?

[whit3noize]

unusual asks

1: Do you ever wish you were someone else?

2: What is your full name?

3: How old are you and how old do you get mistaken for?

4: Have you ever dyed your hair?

5: What’s your eye color?

6: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it

7: Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

8: What would you say is your best quality?

9: What are you really bad at?

10: What talent do you wish you had?

11: Are you nice to everyone?

12: What do you think about the most?

13: Things you like/dislike about yourself

14: What is your least favorite word?

15: What is your favorite word?

16: Are you more like your mom or your dad?

17: Would you ever smile at a stranger?

18: A reason you’ve lied to someone

19: Are you lying about anything right now?

20: Have you kissed someone older than you?

21: Do you believe in love at first sight?

22: Do you believe in soulmates?

23: Are looks important?

24: Opinion on relationship age differences

25: Would you date someone off the Internet?

26: Have you ever cried over a boy/girl?

27: Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

28: Anyone you’re giving up on right now?

29: Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

30: Have you ever liked your best friend?

31: How does someone win your heart?

32: What turns you on?

33: What turns you off?

34: Do you get jealous easily?

35: What is your definition of cheating?

36: Do you forgive betrayal?

37: Have you ever been cheated on?

38: Have you ever cheated on someone?

39: How often do you listen to music?

40: First concert you attended

41: Last movie you watched

42: Favorite type of movie

43: Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

44: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

45: Do you fall in love easily?

46: Do you think people say I love you too much?

47: What’s your favorite holiday?

48: Are you a forgiving person? Do you like being that way?

49: Where’s the most magical place on earth?

50: What’s your “type”?