not sure why these last three weeks have been such a struggle. although i looked back on all most of my posts and see i haven't really changed as a person in 10 years i do know that things get better for a while. atleast knowing im down right now means ill be on the way up soon. although in a completely different context, at work today someone said "pigs get fed and hogs get slaughtered" and in a weird way it was what i needed to hear. i just need to keep it moving as mundane as it is. i cant greedy and try to drink cheat my way to being happy.












