Harmtastic fuckery

Harmony 22 OR~ Taken by my perfect otter half C:

[spillybun-deactivated20190921]

My brain has a tiny Thanos inside who snaps his fingers and erases half my memories at any given moment

[misspink82]

Tumblr after December 17th:

[jayadonisg]

[tequilaandtiramisu]

A moment of silent for all those in retail this holiday season.

[spicyjamaicanpatty-deactivated2]

this cartoon works at target clearly

[its-the-fluffy-lupin]

I made this and showed it to a friend. She said I should post it, so here we are.

[fbi-agent-watching-you]

This is EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED

[thelovejandles]

[matagpo]

Do not let them consume you. They don’t define who you are.

[paulyappleseed-deactivated20161]

[bighonkinqueeniesbadbadbackstory]

Why tiptoe into hell when you can backflip into a cannonball. I like Mackenzie’s style.

[genji-cat]

she protec she attac but most importantly she zaps bac

[thursday]

[gutterviking]

Forth wall reinforced by Kermit The Frog

[discount-supervillain]

I think this one was funnier in my head

[red-faced-wolf-deactivated20251]

This is hilarious

[the-darkest-of-souls]

@bennygal16

[half-gamer]

This’ll make a great addition to my “Skeleton with gun” folder

[pdlcomics]

Focus

[memewhore]

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

so some of yall know i work in a bar as barback/kitchen employee as a night gig.

anyways we had a harry potter trivia event tonight and some of these team names are fuckin hogwild levels of funny. like.

we have one team that was just straight up “team edward”, who, halfway through the event, changed their name to “team jacob”

There was Wingaydium Lesbiosa, which, u kno, #mood

At least 4 different quidditch teams (puddlemere united, holyhead harpies, etc), which wouldn’t wouldn’t have been funny on its own but literally every runner up (2nd and 3rd tied, total of four teams) was a quidditch team 

and of course, the actual winner of best team name, hilariously appropo considering Canada’s recent weed law changes:

Ten Joints To Gryffindor

[charlesoberonn]

This video gets wild

[coldgamekelv]

My first time holding a sloth today 😭

[broadwaydork23]

FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING THAT’S HOLY

TURN ON THE SOUND

[catchymemes]

Phone Charger Magic Circle

By 6秒商店

[anarchetypalarchive]

i saw this post earlier about therapists and it reminded me of my old therapist paul, who in my opinion is one of the greatest men alive and who did not put up with my bullshit for even one second

anyway i go in to see paul one week in the summer of 2016, and i’m doing my usual bullshit which consists of me talking shit about myself, and paul is staring at me, and then he cuts me off and says that he’s got a new tool for helping people recognize when they’re using negative language, and gets up and goes over to his desk

and i’m like alright hit me with that sweet sweet self-help article my man, because i’m a linguistic learner and whenever paul’s like here i have a tool for you to use it’s pretty much always an article or a book or something

paul opens a drawer, takes something out, and turns back around. i stare.

i say, paul.

is that a nerf gun.

yeah, says paul.

i say, are you gonna shoot me with a nerf gun in this professional setting.

he happily informs me that that’s really up to me, isn’t it. and sits back down. and gestures, like, go ahead, what were you saying?

and i squint suspiciously and start back up about how i’m having too much anxiety to leave the house to run errands, like it was a miracle to even get here, like i’ve forgone getting groceries for the past week and that’s so stupid, what a stupid issue, i’m an idiot, how could i–

a foam dart hits me in the leg.

i go, hey! because my therapist just shot me in the leg. paul blinks at me placidly and raises an eyebrow. i squint again.

i say, slowly, it’s– not a stupid issue, i’m not stupid, but it’s frustrating me and i don’t want it to be a problem i’m having.

no dart this time. okay. sweet.

so the rest of the hour passes with me intermittently getting nailed with tiny foam darts and then swearing and then fixing my language and, wouldn’t you know it, i start liking myself a little more by the end of the session, which is mildly infuriating because paul can tell and he’s very smug about it 

anyway i leave his office and the lady having the next appointment walks in and i hear what’s all over the floor? and paul very seriously says cognitive behavioral therapy tools.

[satan-graffitied-my-soul]

The “I won’t hesitate, bitch” vine but @ friends who don’t love themselves