STARTUP BULLSHIT*

Real quotes & stories from real recipients of #startupbullshit.

[startupbs]

No Milestones, is that a problem?

“I see you included a note to provide our product milestones for the investor deck. We don’t have any milestones, is that a problem?”

[startupbs]

“We got a meeting this Friday with a legit VC, are investors going to want us to have a business plan?”

[startupbs]

“Our value proposition is the only thing left to figure out before we start pitching…”

[startupbs]

#HockeyStickGrowth

(Reviewing new presentation slides, founder and designer)

Founder: I don’t like the way you'vre done this traction graph, it looks too flat.

Designer: I made the graph using your excel data, it is accurate.

Founder: It looks like we aren’t really gaining users, it needs to be going up and to the right.

Designer: Do you have the numbers to make a graph like that?

Founder: No not yet, but just make it look like a hockey stick.

[startupbs]

“Sure, I’d be happy to give you my opinion on the industry. I’ll need some shares in exchange for that.”

[startupbs]

Spotted in the wild at GroundUP Houston.

[startupbs]

“I have the next Uber for Twitter, but first sign my NDA.”