Starve Like A Star

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[starvelikeastar]

Jessie James Decker:

Jesse James Decker, country music singer and reality T.V. personality....need I elaborate?  She’s more famous for playing out her drama on TV, (although her show was cancelled....but due to air again soon),  than she is for her music.  She’s married to an NFL player and is proud of her “hot bod”. (Is she related to the Kardashian’s?). She seems to be famous for just being hot. Yeah, I’ve never heard of her either.

Hydration: Water with Lemon throughout the day

Breakfast: Breakfast Tacos

I feel like I just ate a McDonald’s, but in my own house.  This is two scrambled eggs in small tortillas with cheese, Louisiana hot sauce and turkey bacon.  She uses corn tortillas, but Husband must have eaten the last of those, so these are white tortillas.

This taste just like the breakfast burrito at McDonald’s, you know, the one you drown in hot sauce because it’s actually pretty lame?  But I think that even at McDonald’s they use real bacon, you know, from pigs.

Turkey Bacon,   two words that should never be found side-by-side.  No matter what kind of Jedi mind tricks you try to use, this is, nor will ever become, real bacon.  It doesn’t feel like it, it doesn’t look like it, and it certainly doesn’t taste like it.  On the rare occasion I do make actual bacon, I just can’t help but eat a few slices as the rest is cooking.  Not even tempted with this stuff.

Did you notice the word rare, as in not often, that I used above.  Yes, bacon should be a treat, and there is nothing wrong with a treat every now and again. Don’t disappoint yourself by eating this lame-ass stuff regularly, while trying to convince yourself that it “tastes just like bacon”.  No it doesn’t.  You are just trying to fool yourself, but you know deep down that you are no fool.

Coffee....thank god!  But she puts creamer, (fake!) and cane sugar in it! Again, I feel like I ordered coffee at McDonald’s. 

I actually could have just gone to McDonald’s for this meal.  But I guess she is trying to convince herself that since it is homemade, it must be healthy. Ha.

Morning Snack:  Cashew Milk with Vanilla Protein Powder

This is fucking gross!!  This is just cashew milk and this protein powder, blended together.  It must be the brand, because none of the other protein powders behaved this way. For some odd reason, it turned very gelatinous and has a very unappealing texture.  It doesn’t even taste like vanilla.  This tastes like something a doctor makes you choke down “because it’s what’s best for you”.  Yuck.  Gross.

Even most people on Amazon slammed it and only gave it one star.

And really, how much more processed can you get than powdered protein?  This is almost entirely fiber and protein and has an ingredient list about a mile long with a bunch of shit that doesn’t sound like real food and leaves you wondering what the fuck it really is. This is listed as  “gender neutral” protein powder.  What the fuck does that mean? Guys won’t grow boobs if they drink it?

Lunch:  Spinach Salad with Chicken, Strawberries and Feta Cheese

This was a really good salad, and the proper portion.  It is a grilled chicken breast on a bed of spinach with strawberries and feta cheese.  It is dressed with olive oil, white wine vinegar, honey, salt and pepper.  See?  I told you it was easy to make your own dressing!

I wasn’t even that hungry for lunch, but I knew I had to eat.  I wish she would have skipped that terrible protein shake and just waited until lunch to eat.

Afternoon Snack:  Cashew Milk with Chocolate Protein Powder:

Seriously?  Another protein shake? You couldn’t just have a handful of nuts or something?

Since I knew she was having both vanilla and chocolate protein powder drinks today, I bought the same brand.  That shit was so bad this morning, that I threw away the chocolate one and went back to the store and bought this one.  (This only has six ingredients, so I feel better about it). It does come with a warning to consult your physician if you are pregnant or nursing, so that is kind of a red flag....like what the fuck can protein powder to do your unborn child?  That’s kind of fucked up.  I have never seen a warning like that on actual protein.

MUCH BETTER!!  This tastes like a Yoo-hoo.  I wasn’t even hungry...these things fill you up I guess, but I had it anyway.

Dinner: Steak with Sweet Potato and Cauliflower 

OMG, this was an awesome way to end this little project!!  This dinner was fan-fucking-tanstic! This is not, however, exactly what Ms. James eats. She eats a four ounce portion of flank steak.  I could not find a steak that small, so this is a 6 oz. grass fed sirloin.  I figured that was comparable.

The sides are roasted sweet potato and cauliflower.  The sweet potato just has some olive oil and Tony’s on it, (not specified by Jessie), the cauliflower has olive oil, garlic powder, salt and pepper, (as specified by Jessie).  Cauliflower is  not something I normally buy, but it was really good prepared this way.  This was a fucking four star dinner!!  (on a scale of 1-4, BTY).

She drinks water with her dinner, but fuck that, I made it to the end, I am having wine.  For those of you who may not know, this is a really good bottle of wine from a region of France that produces really good bottles of wine.  This is treat.  Thank you Wine Fairy.

Dessert:  Chocolate Chip Cookie, (not from William Sanoma) 

Jessie James says she has a chocolate chip cookie from William Sonoma, but I went to William Sonoma and they so not sell chocolate chip cookies.  They sell chocolate chip cookie mix for $16.95, (makes 2 dozen cookies).  So I said, “fuck that”, and went to Whole Wallet.  They were out of chocolate chip cookies when I got there, but still had oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, so I bought those.

Who doesn’t love ending a meal with a really good cookie? Or ending a four week project with a really good cookie and a glass of killer wine?  Thumbs up.  Cheers.

My Verdict:  All the meals were good, in face they improved throughout the day.  I could have 86′d both protein shakes.  It wasn’t Jessie’s fault, but the first one sucked.  I was pretty full all day and the meals were substantial so I could have just done with those.  Besides the protein shakes, I felt I ate pretty well today.

People Magazine Verdict:  Jessie does a great job eating balanced meals, (Agreed!).  I love that Jessie makes her own salad dressing, (Agreed!  So simple). While protein drinks can be a great recovery drink after an intense workout, choose carefully, as they can add sugar and calories, (Agreed!  And harm your unborn child, and make men grow boobs, and turn your shake into a gelatinous gross mass).

Final thoughts:

Best dishes of this experiment:

Bean and Rice Salad, (Shalita Grant, lunch)

Southwestern Quinoa Bowl, (Jenna Dewan Tatum, dinner)

Korean BBQ Ribs. (Amber Stevens West, lunch)

Best Smoothie:

Apple Pie Smoothie, (Juianne Hough, snack)..hands down, this was fucking awesome!!

Things I have learned from this:

Eat breakfast.  Real breakfast, not just a smoothie or a shake

Avocado toast, especially with lemon and hot sauce, (or red pepper flakes),  is really good and will fill you up

You don’t need protein powder, just eat protein

If you are not going to eat a lot at meals, then eat throughout the day. Make sure you snack. (Water is not a snack)

Pick healthy snacks

It’s ok to treat yourself to a little chocolate or a cookie or even a donut every now and then

Know the definition of a “treat”

Eat real food.  I’m not saying to only shop at farmer’s markets and to eat organic or any of that bullshit, I’m just saying to stay away, (or limit yourself) from processed and fake shit

Even if you are watching what you eat SEASON YOUR DAMN FOOD! If it doesn’t taste good, you are not going to eat it

Eat lots of vegetables, fruits and lean protein

Eat kale, even if it’s in a smoothie

Try to eat whole grains when you can

Drink lots of water

Don’t worry so much about the number on the scale, as long as  you are eating well and getting enough exercise

It’s almost impossible to give up coffee

It’s almost even harder to give up wine, especially when Husband is a bonafide wine fairy, making wine magically appear

ENJOY FOOD, it should make you happy.  Don’t starve.

Weight change since inception:  Still 0....it’s not about how you eat, it’s about what you eat.

This is the final post for this little experiment, and I want to say THANK YOU to the 253 readers from 16 counties that have visited this site!! And most of you are return visitors. (Don’t worry....I don’t know who you are, only what city/country you logged on from).  I am blown away, to say the least, that you all are interested in this. I honestly thought the readership would stay at the two dozen or so people who started reading it from the get-go, but something strange happened after I posted about Amber Stevens West, and people took notice. So THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THAK YOU, from the bottom of my heart.  It means the world that you are actually entertained or interested or bored enough to read this. And I hope I made you laugh, or chuckle, or at the very least, crack a smile.

And thank you, dear Husband, for being such a sport.

[starvelikeastar]

Brandy:

She’s a sassy little singer and actress who thinks she can only go by one name.  You are not Beyonce or Rihanna or Madonna. Sorry. But I guess if my last name was Norwood, I would drop it also.

Hydration: Six glasses of water, (four with breakfast and two with lunch!) I plan to drink more than that.  What is up with the low water consumption?

Breakfast:  Egg White Omelet with Tomato, Onion and Spinach

Why,  oh why,  are people separating the yolk from the white in  their eggs? Do you pick the raisins out of a cinnamon raisin bagel?  Do you pick the chips out of a chocolate chip cookie?  Stop, unless you are baking some recipe that only calls for one or the other, the yolk belongs with the white.  It should always travel together, like salt and pepper.

The yolk has all kinds of nutritional value.  Honestly, if you are worried about eating too much cholesterol and saturated fat, then you should probably cut out hamburgers and French fries, and leave the poor egg alone.

Again, eat real food.  Make the right choices.  Eat the whole damn egg.

Egg whites, on their own,  do not behave the same way as whole eggs.  They need each other, the yolk and the white. This omelet basically wanted to fall apart.  There is a reason we use eggs as a binder when making meatloaf and hamburgers.  Luckily, this held together just enough to not become scrambled eggs.

Also, this just doesn’t taste the same as using whole eggs.  It tastes like it is missing something, (and y’all know it’s not seasoning because I seasoned that bitch correctly).  It tasted incomplete.  It also did not fill me up like a whole two egg omelet would have.  (I used two egg whites for this).  Dog was very happy with the addition of two yolks to her breakfast.

Brandy drinks water with blackberries, cucumber and lemon, which was a nice change from PLAIN water, but not nearly as satisfying as COFFEE in the morning.

Lunch:  Mahi Mahi and a Small Spinach Salad

Breakfast didn’t cut it, and my stomach was growling by lunch.  This is 4 oz. of mahi mahi  over a “small” spinach salad with tomatoes, cucumbers and olives.  It did not list a dressing, but there was no way I was going to eat this dry.  C’mon, really?  So I dressed it with lemon juice, olive oil and salt and pepper.

Dressing does not have to be the devil if you choose the right one!  It’s one of the simplest fucking things to throw together at home in less than two minutes.  Oil, (olive, avocado, peanut, sesame, etc., your choice), acid, (lemon, grapefruit, any type of vinegar or citrus really, again choose....go a little crazy), mustard, (again, anything you have laying around...whole grain, Dijon, even white trash yellow works), salt and pepper and whisk it all together.  Easy-peasy.  You don’t even have to whisk it; you can put it all in a jar and just shake vigorously. Add herbs if you want.  See....dressing is your friend, my friend.  Salad greens should never be found naked on a plate.   Ever.  This drives me crazy in restaurants. Just like you shouldn’t be found naked on a plate in a restaurant either. Ever.

Anyway, this was good, but did not fill me up.  I really could have used a slice of healthy bread or at least a “large” spinach salad.  At least she had three components  in her salad, which seemed more like a regular salad.

She has Roma tomatoes in her salad, but since I am in the southeast and tomatoes are in season, these tomatoes came straight from my garden, (and the cucumbers from the neighbor).

Afternoon Snack: Kind Bar (Cranberry and Almond + Antioxidants)

Wow!  Now I know why these are so popular.  This is freaking ooey-gooey deliciousness  and “good” for you.  Well, at least better then some of the other ones out there. Just as advertised, you can pronounce all of the words in the ingredient list.  This was wwwaaayyyy better than the astronaut bar I had the other day. 

I was more than ready for a snack and this hit the spot.  I just hope it holds me until dinner!

Dinner:  Salmon with Steamed Vegetables and Houston’s Kale Salad

This certainly looks appealing and pretty.  The salmon was really good, but it is high quality salmon.  You really don’t want to fuck up a piece of salmon like this.

This is served with one cup of steamed vegetables.  For convenience sake, I bought those frozen “ steam in the bag” vegetables.  Don’t.  Just don’t.  They were extremely bland and tasteless. And Husband has a thing about cooking food in the microwave in plastic containers, so it not only tasted bland, but he was appalled that I even dared to buy a “steam in the bag” thing.  Just steam, or nuke, or bake your vegetables.....but add olive oil and salt and pepper.  Jeez, it’s fine giving up butter, but don’t give up a little oil and NEVER GIVE UP SEASONING!!! Just because you want to eat healthy, never compromise on flavor!!!

The salad is “her favorite kale salad from Houston’s Restaurant”.  The recipe I used can be found here. This recipe calls for both green and red cabbage, but I just used green.  I didn't see the use of buying both types if I was only going to use a little of each.

If you are going to make this salad at home, and appreciate flavor and not what middle America would be satisfied with, then cut the oil by about a third, add a few drops of chili oil and some shallots and this salad would be great.  It was ok, like this, but not great, and the leap is not far.

My verdict: She had a lot of good components to her day and a good variety of food.  Her portions for breakfast and lunch were both small and left me hungry.  I loved the Kind bar, but it probably wasn’t the best choice for a snack...it certainly wasn’t the worst either.  She could have had a Snicker’s bar.  I don’t think Brandy eats enough for her busy lifestyle.

People Magazine Verdict: Brandy’s lunch was a perfect portion, (Um, actually, it wasn't.  I was still a little hungry after lunch). At dinner, she could add a little healthy fat like avocado or olive oil, (Agreed, add some olive oil to those veggies, bitch.  Go crazy).  Brandy is an “excellent” eater, (She is, but she doesn’t eat ENOUGH excellence). She consumes a lot of veggies, lean protein and whole grains. (Did I miss the whole grains somewhere today?).

[starvelikeastar]

Abby Johnston:

Abby Johnston,  American Olympic Diver and future doctor.  She’s not really a Hollywood Star, but People Magazine thinks she’s popular enough that we would care what she eats in a day. She’s smart, pretty, ambitious, and athletic.  She’s the daughter your mom wished you were.  Seriously, if your mom could trade you in for her, she probably would. 

Hydration for the day:  56 oz. of water, (7 cups, for those of you who can’t do the math). Seriously, you know it’s not a problem for me, but shouldn't a professional athlete drink more than this?

Breakfast: Whole Wheat English Muffin Avocado Toast and Iced Coffee

Iced coffee with a “splash” of creamer!  OMG,  I am so excited that I get to have Cool Brew coffee this morning! I know this cold drip coffee is popular now, but his is my absolute favorite iced coffee in the world!  Splash of creamer. Fake, fake, fake. What the fuck? Can’t these stars just cut the crap and drink real milk?

Two percent milk has 130 calories PER CUP. This creamer has 30 calories PER TBSPN,that’s 480 calories PER CUP, (plus it has added sugar)!!!  And even though it has real sugar in it, it has that fake sweetener/processed taste.  Ugh.  

Whole wheat English Muffin with half an avocado, (I paid a dollar more for these, WTF?), Himalayan sea salt, (I had pink Alpine...isn’t that the same thing?) and a dash of hot sauce, (mine: Tobassco, hers: Frank’s Red Hots)

I really liked the salt and hot sauce added to the avocado toast, and with the fatty iced coffee, I am full.  I could have easily eaten the whole avocado.

Lunch: Zucchini Boats....NOT SALAD!

I am freaking stuffed!!  When is the last time you ate TWO whole zucchini’s in one siting?  Yeah, me either. Add to that 4 oz. of ground turkey, seasoned with taco seasoning, lettuce, shredded REDUCED FAT, not LOW FAT cheddar, (I couldn’t find the low-fat shredded cheese), and salsa. 

 This took me 40 minutes to cook. Granted, you could cook the zucchini a day ahead of time to speed things up, but I didn’t.  I cooked and blanched  the zucchini then  scooped the meat out with a melon baller and filled the boats with meat, (I added in a little of the zucchini meat....I hate to see food go to waste)  and fed the rest to Dog. Who knew? Dog loves zucchini meat too!  Then I heated it in the oven for about ten minutes to get the zucchini warm again.

Forty minutes prep and cook + twenty minutes to eat = one hour out of the day.

Morning Snack:  One Apple and One Tablespoon of Peanut Butter

Seriously, this apple needs more than one tablespoon of peanut butter.  I finished the peanut butter on the first slice.  Go strong or go home.  I wasn’t even hungry for a snack.  But as long as I was having peanut butter,  I wanted to put a spoon in the jar and eat three more tablespoons.

Dinner: Rosemary Chicken Salad

Ah, here’s the salad.  See what she did there?  The old switch-a-roo. That’s ok.  It was nice to have the heavier meal at lunch. This is a good sized entrée salad with two cups of mixed greens, (kale and spinach), super healthy, I know, right?!  The chicken, (8oz!),  is seasoned with salt, pepper and rosemary.  The other ingredients are a quarter cup sliced cherry tomatoes....that’s a whopping SIX cherry tomatoes, in case you were wondering, the other half of the avocado I had for breakfast, and two strips of bacon. Yes, REAL BACON!! Bless her heart, a star who eats BACON!!

It is dressed with ONE TABLESPOON of homemade rosemary vinaigrette.  Yeah, you read that right.  You do the math....two cups of greens, half a pound of chicken.  What the fuck?  I made a beautiful vinaigrette and may as well have eaten the salad dry.  I could have used about two more tablespoons of dressing!! But alas, I AM full.

 Dessert:  A Margarita

Woo-hoo, best dessert ever.  I will take this over a piece of chocolate or four chocolate covered almonds any day. I love a girl who loves a cocktail!!

Here is Abby Johnson’s margarita recipe:

1.5 oz. Tequila 1 oz. triple sec 1 oz. lime juice .5 oz. orange juice small splash agave nectar

OK.  This margarita is pretty bangin! And I am so glad she does not use fake margarita mix.  I hate that stuff! Seriously, if a bar uses that pre-made shit I will just order something else.  And yes, I always ask.

I could drink about three more of these.  I would have happily given up the cream in my coffee, the bacon in my salad and the peanut butter in my snack for another one of these.

My Verdict:  I felt I ate pretty well today.  I had a lot of vegetables and I was full after each meal. I didn’t starve at all.   I wish I could have swapped the creamer for 2% milk.  I would have been happier with a mid-morning snack and only one zucchini, (two boats) for lunch.  Dinner was good, but the salad needed way more dressing.  Really how many calories could that possibly add?  I would have given up the bacon for more dressing.

Love ending the day with a cocktail!!

People magazine verdict:  She could ditch the creamer for whole milk. (Agreed) She should add a healthy grain to her lunch, (Seriously?  I was stuffed after lunch!).  She got “high scores” for her margarita. ( Agree with that!!)

[starvelikeastar]

Laila Ali:

Daughter of Mahammad Ali, and a boxer in her own right.  Girl Power! She says, “looking your best on the outside, starts with what you’re putting on the inside”.

Hydration: 10 - 11 glasses of water.

Breakfast:  Shrimp Omelet with Spinach and Cheese

This was a lot to get up and eat first thing in the morning. This has two egg whites plus one whole egg, 4 oz. of shrimp, spinach  and mozzarella cheese in it.  It’s really good, but OMG, very filling!  I would rather have something like this for lunch rather than at 7:30 am.  And I would also rather have coffee than water to drink with it. BUT, I did get my glorious cheese!!!

I sautéed the shrimp last night to save on prep time, but it still took about fifteen minutes to make.  Dog got the two egg yolks and loved them.  I don’t know  people 86 the yolk.....the whole egg is good for you and has nutritional value. Here is a recent story from Time magazine that talks about the benefits of the yolk.  So, go ahead and eat the egg in its entirety, as it was meant to be eaten.

BTY, I’m stuffed, but I am headed to Pilates soon, so hopefully I will burn some of this off.

Post-workout Shake: Protein Shake

I did not “float like a butterfly or sting like a bee” at Pilates.  I should have taken the Defend Yourself class which is taught by a female boxer at my gym, but I stuck with Pilates instead.

Needless to say, I was not even hungry for this and could have skipped it completely.  It doesn't taste bad though, although it is a little grainy.

This has 8 oz. of unsweetened almond milk, rice protein powder, super-green protein powder, 1 tsp. coconut oil and ice.  She uses whey protein powder, but I couldn’t find any, so I got rice protein powder.  There is a debate over which is healthier for you.  They both have their benefits and really seems to come down to personal preference and what you are looking for in your protein powder.

I am  not sure why she added coconut oil , but you couldn't even taste it.

Having had several of protein powders now, they don’t taste bad, but I am not a big fan of them.  You can always taste a little graininess in your drink.  Just eat REAL FOOD!!

Lunch: Soup and Salad

Like Oprah, I love soup and could eat it everyday.  However, I am not a fan of canned soup.  Laila Ali says she has homemade chicken and white bean soup and I am sure hers is super yummy.  I can’t however, just make one portion of homemade soup, so I sought out a can.  There are a lot of chicken and _______ soups out there, but not chicken and white beans.  This is chicken and wild rice, and like most canned soups, it was just ok.

For once I was glad the salad did not have any other components to it than just salad greens and dressing.  This is dressed with Trader Joe’s Light Champagne Vinaigrette.  Of course, both items needed salt and pepper, but y’all know that by now.

I ate a little later than usual because I wasn’t even hungry, but I knew I had to eat lunch.  I am glad this is a normal sized lunch and on the light side.  I am also thankful it wasn’t just a salad for lunch. 

Afternoon Snack:  HALF of a Think Thin Creamy Peanut Butter Bar

I was able to buy this at the regular grocery store, although they had them at the health food store also.  Once I opened it, I was afraid I would not be able to only eat half of this bar. (Y’all know I love peanut butter by now). It looks delicious.......but it doesn’t taste that way.  It is dry and tasteless. It doesn't taste like anything, not peanut butter or chocolate. It tastes like astronaut food. Oh, but wait, astronauts get actual peanut butter in space!

This reminded me of the kind of shit my parents used to give me and try to convince me it was really a candy bar when they thought I was too young to know better.  I wasn’t fooled then, and I’m not fooled now. I’m not even tempted to eat the whole thing.

Besides being higher in protein, it’s also higher in saturated fats and carbs then peanut butter.  It’s weird, the label lists 0g or sugar, but 20g of sugar alcohol.  If you look up “sugar alcohol “ as a food ingredient, which I have never seen on a food label before, it’s just another code for fake sweetener found in foods labeled sugar-free.  20g or “sugar alcohol” is equal to about 10g or sugar.  If you eat too much, it can cause diarrhea, bloating and weight gain. (An ingredient commonly found in diet food!) Yeah for diet food!  Again....just eat fucking real food in moderation!

 A serving of my junk food peanut butter only has 4g of sugar....and actual sugar, (real food). In case you are curious, here is the nutritional label for the peanut butter that I normally eat, sometimes by the spoonful, right out of the jar.

Dinner: Salmon with Brussel Sprouts and Half a Sweet Potato

Holy crap, welcome to sweet potato week.  Ugh!  This are the EXACT same sides J-lo had in her lame-ass dinner on Friday.  Swap the chicken for salmon and it elevates the dish.  This is STILL a naked, boring, bland sweet potato.  These women hardly eat....they can splurge on a little butter on the potato. Trust me, it will make them much happier individuals.

The salmon was delicious, but again, this is not really a very interesting meal. Wine would have definitely helped!

That lame half of a lame protein bar did not satisfy me, and I was starving by dinnertime.

My verdict: Laila started her day off strong with a shrimp omelet.  She seemed to front-load her day, and then it kind of went downhill from there.  Lunch was good, (I’m sure it would have been better with homemade soup).  The protein bar was terrible and dinner was only ok. I started the day off full, but was starving by dinner.

People Magazine Verdict:  Laila has  a very clean diet, (Um, if processed protein powder and a fake protein bar are considered clean).  I am so impressed that she adds a whole egg to her breakfast and coconut oil to her smoothie, (I guess it doesn’t take much to impress you.  Go to a Waffle House....you’ll be blown away by how many people add whole eggs to their breakfast).

[starvelikeastar]

Witney Carson:

She is a dancer, choreographer and actress. She was, (is?) on Dancing With the Stars.  I don’t know.  I don’t watch that show.

Well, here we are, entering Week Four, the final stretch.  I think I can make it until the end.  Can you?

BTY, change in weight since inception: still breaking even at 0#. I am exactly the same weight I was three weeks ago when I started, I am just eating more fruits and vegetables now.

Hydration: 10 - 12 glasses of water a day.

Breakfast:  Waffle and  Green Tea

She says she makes her own banana-oat waffles.  I don't even own a waffle maker, so making my own was out of the question.  These are Trader Joe’s whole grain frozen waffles, and as far as waffles go, they seemed pretty healthy.  I could not find banana-oat waffles anywhere, so these seemed like a good substitute.

This is topped with Greek yogurt, fresh fruit and drizzled with honey.  It was pretty good, not too sweet and was perfect for breakfast.  I was glad she didn’t just blend it all up into a smoothie and add protein powder.

She drinks green tea with her breakfast which was ok, but I am still a die hard coffee drinker and tea just doesn’t give you the same boost in the morning.  I don’t think I will ever be able to give up coffee.

Morning Snack:  A Handful of Cashews

I was surprised that I was actually ready for a snack.  I thought breakfast would have kept me fuller for longer.

I could have easily eaten three handfuls of nuts, and would have if left to my own devices. Would it really have been bad to eat more nuts?  They are super healthy for you.  Isn’t this the type of thing you can eat a lot of and not worry about it?

Lunch:  Mediterranean Chicken Salad

After a thirty minute swim and a twenty minute dog walk, I was ready for lunch.  I am sure my level of activity is nothing in comparison to hers, so she must be starving.  I was petty hungry by the time it was done.

This is a salad with mostly spinach, 1 small grilled chicken breast, cucumber and olives, topped with a scoop of hummus and balsamic dressing.  It was pretty good and was a good portion for lunch.  It was weird to just have a scoop of hummus on top, but I guess she couldn’t call it Mediterranean if it didn’t.  When I ate it, I mixed it all together.  It gave it a nice creaminess.

I would have liked more components to this salad though.  Red onion would have been a welcome addition.....and feta and tomato, you know, actual Mediterranean ingredients.  Of course, I added salt and pepper, the most important spices in your kitchen, people.

Afternoon Snack:  Apple with Almond Butter

Unless you have a peanut allergy, there is no reason to eat this instead of peanut butter.  It has almost the exact same nutritional value as the junk food peanut butter I love, but this has that gross texture of the natural peanut butter I hate.  Here is what it looks like:

Appetizing, right?  Try to convince your kid to eat that!  Insert your own poop joke here_________________.

I don’t understand why people keep insisting on eating “alternative” food.  If you want peanut butter, just have peanut butter.  You don’t need to eat a whole damn jar of the stuff in one sitting.  Or what’s with all the “alternative” milk these days? Unless you are lactose intolerant, just freaking drink milk.  Here is a link that nicely compares all of the different milks, so I guess you have to decide which is the best choice for you.  If these stars just drank cow’s milk, they would not have to add processed protein powder to almond milk!

Someone just started making a fake beef product that smells, tastes and bleeds like real beef!  Except it isn’t real beef, it’s all made out of vegetable products in a lab. And you were worried about what is in real meat.  Ha. Ironically, it costs the same as real beef.  It is marketed to all of you out there who have a hard time with the carbon footprint of the beef industry. If that’s your beef, pun intended, than JUST DON’T EAT BEEF.  There are plenty of vegetables that taste like yummy vegetables!  And you can make delicious things from them. Crazy concept, I know.

I get it....you really want peanut butter and milk and bacon and beef but you feel ethically and morally dirty enjoying it.  It feels good to get a little dirty every now and then.  EVERYTHING IN MODERATION. 

Dinner: Salmon with Asparagus and Sweet Potato

I was pretty hungry by dinnertime, and this was a pretty good dinner.  It was better than J-lo’s, partly because I was starving, partly because this is really good salmon.  This is another naked sweet potato though. I am sure this meal is nutritious, but it could be a little more delicious.  At least the salmon and asparagus were properly seasoned.

Dessert:  Herbal Tea with Two Squares of Dark Chocolate

This was a nice way to end the day, and this chocolate is really good, but I would forgo the chocolate for butter on my sweet potato.

My verdict: All of her meals were just ok.  I was hungry when it was time to eat, but not famished.  I will take Jif over almond butter any day of the week.  It was nice to have a bit of chocolate.

People Magazine Verdict: Witney has an awesome balance of whole grains, quality proteins, colorful produce and healthy fat.  (Agreed, but the only fat I had was the chocolate which I would have swapped for butter on the potato). Salmon is great for an active dancer. (OK, and great for everyone else too). Dark chocolate ends the day on an excellent note, (Agreed).

[starvelikeastar]

Jennifer Lopez:

She needs no introduction.  Y’all know who she is. She stays that thin and beautiful with the help of two trainers, a whole team of people, staying out of the sun and getting plenty of sleep.  She also doesn’t drink any caffeine or alcohol....what fun is that? 

Hydration: Water throughout the day.

Breakfast:  Fruit Smoothie

This was delicious, but not nearly enough to hold me until lunch.  Is this really all J-lo has for breakfast?  This is a smoothie with berry flavored protein powder, 3/4  cup of strawberries, 1/4 cup blueberries, (that’s about a small handful), 1/4 cup raspberries, 1/4 cup Greek yogurt, 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon, 1/4 tablespoon honey, 1/4 teaspoon lemon juice and a 1/4 ice.

I could have had about twice this much!  C’mon Jenny.

Lunch: Kale Salad

I was starving by lunchtime, like famished, like a Snicker’s commercial hungry. 

This is a bowl full of kale with 2 tablespoons of pumpkin seeds, 2/3 of an ounce (!) of queso, (yeah, that’s nothing), 1/3 of a large shallot dressed with 2/3 tablespoon lemon juice, 2 tablespoons olive oil, (and I added salt and pepper).  So yeah, this is basically a bowl of kale with hardly anything else.

Even after devouring it, I was still hungry.  I guzzled some water, but I’m telling you, water is not a replacement for food. 

Jeez, J-lo has a reputation of being super active, athletic, and always on the go.  How does she eat so little and not lose her shit at someone, or pass out due to hunger?  Seriously.

Afternoon Snack:  One Medium-size Apple

Because an apple a day keeps hunger at bay.

This is a Pink Lady apple.  I thought it would be appropriate for this lady.

I hope Husband comes home early so we can have the early-bird special for dinner.

Dinner:  Chicken Breast with Brussel Spouts and Sweet Potato

This is the meal your mom made for you when you were in fifth grade and you couldn’t leave the table until you finished.  And she doesn’t even put anything on her sweet potato to make it taste better.  Who does that?  There is no way J-lo is as happy as she looks if this is what she eats.

Oh wait, I get it.  This the actual meal she is serving her own kids and she eats it also so she can prove to them how yummy it is.  No, J-lo, they don’t believe you.  Kids are smarter than that and can’t be fooled.  This is yet another uninspiring meal.  At least it is a complete meal, with all the proper components.

Dessert:  Chocolate Chip Cookie

See Emma and Max, the yummy cookie you get if you finish all of your dinner?  Thank god this isn’t an actual carrot on a stick.  But at least it is something to look forward to after that lame dinner.

My verdict:  I was hungry almost from the get go.  The smoothie was not enough to fill me up.  I was starving by lunch, and once again, did not get a good portion or enough stuff in my salad.  Dinner was underwhelming.  Glad I got a cookie!

People Magazine verdict:  A shake is a great way to start the day if you are on the run, (Yes, but only if you eat a snack while you are on the run also).  I love the kale salad, (Really?  Did you have it?  It’s basically just a bowl of kale). Her chicken is an excellent whole food meal, (Agreed). But she could use a little more fat -- a little butter on her yam would taste great, (Agreed!  And a little salt and pepper too).

[starvelikeastar]

Tiffani Thiessen:

Finally, a star who actually cooks!  And I assume eats.  She was on Saved by the Bell way back when, but now has her own cooking show, Dinner at Tiffani’s.

Looking at what she eats today, she either didn’t take a bite out of that bread in the picture, or what you see in the picture in the entirety of what she ate that day.

Hydration: 12.5 glasses of water a day. Ok, finally a water challenge.  I am sure I can make it though.

Breakfast:  Avocado Toast and Coffee

I am not very impressed so far by this star who can cook.  She starts her day with plain avocado on whole-grain toast.  She should know that this would be much better with a little salt and pepper, maybe some lemon juice and red pepper flake.  For avocado toast, it was pretty unimaginative.

She takes her coffee black, with one packet of my fake friend Stevia.  Even sweetened, our French Roast coffee with chicory is hard to take without milk.

At least I had coffee.  Bonus.

Snack:  Almond Milk with Protein Powder

This looks good, but as we all know, looks can be deceiving.  No, this is not a delicious coffee drink.  This is 8 oz. of  unsweetened almond milk with unsweetened protein powder. Blah.

Someone who has a cooking show should know what a proper snack looks like, and this isn’t it. Can this even be considered a “ snack”?  I think this falls under the “beverage” category, since there is no actual food in it. 

What is it with these stars drinking protein powder?  Can’t they just eat protein? I have always associated protein powder with body builders or elderly people, not seemingly healthy people who choose to under-eat. 

Lunch:  Halibut with Oven-Roasted Tomatoes and Quinoa

When I went to the fish market and asked the guy for 3 oz. of halibut,  he kindly informed me that a child’s portion is 4 oz.  I responded that all I needed was 3 oz., thank you very much.  And 3 oz. actually turned out to be a proper portion for this meal.  It is served with a 1/2 cup of quinoa.  (That will certainly fill you up!).  There is also roasted tomato on the side, which was a nice preparation.

This meal tasted good, well rounded and was the correct portion size.

To drink, had a zero-calorie root beer, not water!! This root beer was not that easy to find.  This was the only one the health food store had, and it costs a dollar a can.

When I poured it into the glass, I expected it to look like normal root beer, but whoa,  it was clear.  They do not add any caramel coloring to it. This brand uses stevia instead of aspartame for sweetness .   And that, people,  is the only difference between this and Diet Barq’s. It really isn’t any better for you than a Diet Coke, or any other diet soda for that matter.  This one does not have any of the natural botanicals that originally gave root beer its flavor, or that can be found in a number of natural root beers on the market.  I could have just bought a Diet Barq’s for half the price.

It tastes like diet root beer should, and does not make me feel healthy drinking it.  It does, however, aid in making me feel very full.

And I was glad to not drink water again with a meal.

Afternoon Snack:  Cucumber with Lemon Juice

It seems to be a rare day when I am not ready for a snack, but lunch kept me pretty full.

Tiffani eats two Persian cucumbers, which are smaller than the “common”  cucumbers us common folk are used to.  Since I could not find any Persian cucumbers, this is one regular or “common” cucumber with lemon juice.  Of course, I had to add salt and pepper.  Shocking, I know.  A cook should  know better.

Dinner: Chopped Salad

She redeemed herself with this salad.  Look how colorful and beautiful it is....and it even has salami and cheese in it!  I wasn’t starving, but I was ready for dinner and ate all of it.

This salad has romaine and iceberg lettuces, asparagus, carrots, red onion, salami, cherry tomatoes, garbanzo beans, mozzarella cheese, (and I only put a pinch on top.....honestly, trust me, I was tempted to put more on), dressed with red wine vinegar, olive oil, salt and pepper.

I feel sated and happy.

My verdict: The day started off pretty lame, even though I did have coffee this morning.  Lunch and dinner were both very good.  I was afraid I was going to starve today, but I actually had enough to eat.  Drinking all that water helped, I am sure.

People Magazine Verdict: Thiesssen’s meals are impressively well-rounded, (Agreed.  Except breakfast.  Lunch and dinner were both very good).  Her day is veggie-heavy with adequate protein and fat. (Agreed. I even got a bit of cheese!)  Her morning shake is great. (Disagree.  It actually sucked).

[starvelikeastar]

Lori Loughlin:

She was on Full House back in the day, and now on Fuller House.  As for her diet, she “believes in moderation”.  She says it’s ,“more about portion control and cutting out foods that have a lot of fat”.

Hydration: 6-8 glasses of water. I’m not even commenting on this.  I’ll easily drink this much water today.

Breakfast: Oatmeal and Green Tea

Yuck, yuck, yuck. What, is she 85?  This was just as dry and gross as it looks.  This is oatmeal with walnuts and cinnamon, and it reminded me of why I never eat oatmeal.

This needed serious improvement.  It needed sugar and milk.  I would have even welcomed my fake friend Stevia.  The nuts at least gave it some crunch or it would have just been a bowl of mush.  No wonder most oatmeal you see in the store is flavored.  Who the hell eats this stuff?   Yankee food. In Grits vs.Oatmeal,  grits, even plain, would be the clear winner.  Although in all fairness, we add shit to grits too in order to make the taste better, mainly stuff high in sugar or fat or both....like cheese or butter or bacon or whole milk or sugar or a combination of all the above.

Husband was forced to eat some also.  He added milk to his, which he said “slightly” improved it. But he still agreed that it was pretty gross.  And it made him feel like an old person.

Even dog wouldn’t go near the oatmeal.  And she eats everything.

Morning Snack:  One Red Apple and a Handful of Almonds

I was starving and ready for this snack.....one small read apple and a handful of almonds.  I am glad I got two things and not one or the other.

The is a Red Delicious apple, because, well, they’re delicious.

Lunch: Grilled Chicken Breast with Salad Greens

Isn’t this the same little sad lunch that Julia Roberts had a few weeks ago?  The only improvement is that dresses her greens with balsamic vinegar and olive oil.  Of course I added salt and pepper.

It is almost as underwhelming and disappointing as it was when Julia Roberts had it.  At least the greens were dressed.....I hate naked greens.

And I was starving by lunchtime.  Even with my water consumption.

I’m freaking starving!!  I think I have had six glasses of water since lunchtime.

Is it dinnertime yet? Fuck.  I’m starving!!!

Dinner:  Halibut with Asparagus and Brown Rice

It’s about fucking time.  I was starving!!!  All I could think about since lunch was when I could finally eat again!

This only tasted so good because I was starving.  Not that is was bad....everything was seasoned and cooked properly. (Thank God, because Halibut is expensive!)  This is just a boring, lame meal.  At least it is a complete meal, with all the proper elements, it was just not a very interesting or a particularly flavorful meal.  Underwhelming.

My verdict: She says, “it’s all about portion control”, well, it sure ain’t about flavor.  All of her meals sucked, and the portions were way too small.  She must have a lot of control. All  I thought about was when I could eat again.  Today sucked and I was starving most of the day.  All I could think about was food. The best thing today was the apple.  This girl does not eat enough!

People Magazine Verdict:  She starts her day on an “excellent” note with oatmeal for breakfast, (Who are these people?  Breakfast sucked!! Breakfast really can set the tone for the day, and it wasn’t a happy tune today). She should up the calories a bit at lunch, (Agreed!  Lunch was sad and underwhelming.  I was still hungry after it). But her snack of an apple and almonds gets a perfect 10, (If you are using an apple as a benchmark for a perfect ten, no wonder her day was so pitiful).

[starvelikeastar]

Jenna Dewan Tatum:

She is the host of World of Dance, (another show I don’t watch and a person I never heard of).  She  is another super athletic dancer who hardly eats anything.  She only eats “plant based foods, because it’s ethically right”.  Whatever. Yes, that means she is a VEGAN!  Aarrgg.

Yeah, I tried that pose in Pilates today.  I was not nearly as graceful, nor could I hold it for very long. I didn’t even come close to looking like this.  Ok.  So my attempt was an epic failure.  I couldn’t even get my knee off the ground. I didn’t even look this good in my own head.

Hydration: Eight glasses of water.

Husband wanted to know why I was grumpy this morning.  I told him to start his day without coffee and see what kind of mood he would be in.

BTW, I had to eat an adult portion of watermelon after I posted last night.  My tummy was grumbling long before bedtime.

Breakfast: Glowing Green Smoothie

This is green like the grass.  It has spinach, romaine lettuce, celery, apple, pear, banana, lemon juice, cilantro, parsley and water.

I now understand why stars freeze their fruit.  It cools the drink down, like ice. Ta-da!   I am not sure why they don’t just throw ice in their smoothies....they would get a double whammy of water and coolness.

This smoothie, however, did not have frozen fruit or ice, only tap water, so the whole drink was lukewarm. Blech.  It would have been much better if it were colder.

I was glad it contained all real food and no protein powder.

Water does not quell a grumbling tummy.  I may starve today.

Maybe she should have put protein powder, or PB2 powder in the smoothie after all.

Lunch:  Quinoa Tabouli

This tabouli is made with quinoa instead of the traditional bulgur wheat.  It tasted almost the same as traditional tabouli, so I was pleasantly surprised. In this tabouli, I have tomato, cucumber, parsley, mint, red onion, lots of lemon juice, olive oil, salt and pepper.  I like a little zing to it.

Quinoa and bulgur wheat are almost identical.  Quinoa is higher in protein and calories, but lower in fiber, so I guess you need to figure out which is more important to you.  For this starving, skinny star, I would definitely go with the higher calorie count, since she hardly eats anything.

This is served with a side salad of tomato and cucumber with olive oil, lemon juice, salt and pepper.  She also has hummus as a side, which was weird to just eat with a fork.

This would have been much better and more filling if it was all stuffed into a pita and eaten like a sandwich. (Believe me, I was tempted.  I have pita in the fridge from last night).   Although it was tasty, I was still kind of hungry when I was done.  Pita could have changed my world, or at least my lunch.

Afternoon Snack:  Fruit Smoothie

Yippee, another smoothie. Why couldn’t she have just had a bowl of fruit? Seriously.

This one also has water, no ice, in it so it is lukewarm.  WTH?

This one has apple, banana, raspberries, blueberries and water.  That’s what happens when you are a vegan....no Greek yogurt for texture or to fill you up.

At least she had an afternoon snack.  I was starving!

Dinner: Southwestern Quinoa Bowl

To be honest, I was not that excited to have another quinoa bowl for dinner, but this turned out surprisingly good.  When I told Husband what was for dinner, he conveniently informed me he would not be home for dinner.  I don’t know if he had to legitimately work late, or if he was just running from the quinoa.  He hates quinoa almost as much as he hates brown rice.  But I bet he would have been as surprised as I was at how tasty this came out.

This is quinoa, (obviously), with black beans, tomato, roasted squash and zucchini, red bell pepper, avocado, corn, chipotle sauce, tortilla chips, (supposed to be strips, but they don’t sell that at the store) and a dollop of salsa.

I don’t know if you have ever used chipotle sauce, but a little goes a long way.  Seriously, you can go from flavorful to Def-con 4, blow-your-head-off spicy in less than you know. I only used a 1/4 of a teaspoon, at best, in here and that was perfect.  It looked like such a tiny amount, I almost added more, but you only make that mistake once and I have already learned my lesson from that.  The good news is, due to the high amount of acid and heat in a jar, that shit lasts forever.  It can really add some nice smoky heat to a dish, if used judiciously. 

This dinner would have been perfect with a nice cold beer.  And skinny-minny could have used the extra calories.

At least she appreciates flavor, which was evidenced in both meals today.

My verdict:  Two smoothies and two quinoa bowls on one day did not seem very imaginative, but at least they tasted different enough not to be a problem.  Just a smoothie to start the day was not enough.  I was starving by lunch time.  Dinner was surprisingly tasty and filling. 

People Magazine Verdict: Jenna does a great job of getting her daily fruits and vegetables, (Um, she’s a vegan.  Fruits and vegetables is all she eats). Jenna may need more calories to cover vigorous physical activity like dancing or a busy day on the set.(Agreed. I did not have a “vigorous” day and needed more calories.)

[starvelikeastar]

Amber Stevens West:

Amber Stevens West is another star I never heard of.  She is an actress and model.  She’s had supporting roles in a bunch of  movies and T.V. shows that I have never seen.  So like most of us, the only starring role she has is in her own life. She claims she “came out of the womb singing and acting”. 

She is one super-skinny actress who actually likes to eat.  She even has her own food blog, Amber Eats LA.

I am excited for her menu today, so I hope it doesn't disappoint.

Hydration: Six glasses of water.  Easy.  I know I will drink more than that.

Breakfast:  Scrambled Eggs with Broccoli, Red Onion and Feta Cheese

I guess she doesn’t know how to make an omelet, because this would have been prettier as one.  This looks like a hot mess!  An omelet would have definitely been better with these same ingredients. This is two eggs, scrambled with red onion, broccoli and feta cheese.  Of course, I added salt and pepper and a little Tony’s.  It tasted ok; it needed hot sauce.  I liked that the feta doesn’t really melt, because the consistency was sort of mushy.  

I got to start the day with coffee!  Bonus.  Our coffee is a dark French roast with Chicory, so it is very bitter.  I had to add a little milk to it.  You have to be pretty brave to drink this stuff black. But at least I had caffeine to start the week.

Morning Snack: One Handful Blueberries and Black Coffee

I know people who feed their toddlers more than one handful of blueberries for a snack.

This is an odd combination.  I would have preferred a second cup of coffee with breakfast.  Actually I would have preferred two more cups of coffee with breakfast.  I also would have preferred milk in this coffee. 

Lunch: Not a salad!!

Yes, that is not a salad!  This is Korean barbequed short-ribs with a cucumber salad and kimchi.  Lots of good gut stuff going on here.

I did have to do a little running around for the short-ribs.  They did not have this cut at the regular grocery store, but they had plenty of them at the butcher counter at the local Amigo Mart.

I used a recipe from Epicurious that you can find here.  I marinated them overnight and then grilled them today. They still came out just a tad chewy, but they were tasty.  (Husband is sure to be happy when he comes home).

I used half a cucumber tossed it with rice wine vinegar and red pepper flake. The kimchi is from the jar I bought last week.  That shit lasts forever.

Thumbs up for this dish!

Afternoon Snack:  One Cup of Watermelon

Again, I have seen toddlers get more than this for a snack, but at least it will tide me over until dinner.

Dinner:  Chicken Shawarma with Hummus and Greens

She has chicken shawarma in a pita with hummus and a green salad.  Since she has all of the elements, I just stuffed everything into the pita and ate it like a sandwich.  I used this easy recipe.  I grilled the chicken when I grilled the short-ribs, so assembly was pretty easy.

Although this tasted good, it is not going to keep me full for the rest of the night.  Husband ate short-ribs and the rest of the hummus with his.  I could definitely go for either dessert or more hummus and pita.  No wonder this girl is so skinny.

My verdict: I liked all of the meals today, although breakfast would have been better as an omelet.  The food seemed healthy and tasty. Dinner left me wanting more.  I was glad to have something other than salad and whole grains or a smoothie.

People Magazine Verdict: Amber does a good job balancing her meals.  (Ok.  At least she diversified the flavor profiles!) She has two smart snacks, (I thought they were kind of dumb snacks). She has a filling dinner high in flavor, (Agree with the flavor part, disagree about the filling part).

Note:  Weight change since inception:  0#

Once again, whatever I lost during the week, I put right back on during the weekend.

[starvelikeastar]

Allyson Felix:

She’s the most decorated track and field star in US history.  I could go into her numerous awards and accomplishments, but you’d never get to the see how she starves in a day. I’m sure no one calls her “chicken legs” anymore!

She says that she doesn’t count calories, but “focusses on what her body needs to succeed”.  Hey, me too!

Hydration:  36 oz. of water. Huh?  That must be a typo....that’s only 4 1/2 glasses of water.  Even my big, fat, lazy couch potato dog drinks more water then that.

She is an athlete; there is no way that is correct.  Screw that, it’s 92 degrees out today, with humidity to match....I’m drinking water like I normally do.  That means 8 cups, at the very least.

Breakfast:  Fruit Smoothie

Believe it or not, after that lame-ass dinner last night, I wasn’t hungry when I woke up.  But, staying true to this project, I made breakfast.

This smoothie has plain Greek yogurt, a splash of fruit juice, banana, strawberries, mango, chia seeds and ice.  And yes, it was delicious, (not as good as Julianna Hough’s Apple Pie Smoothie, which BTY is the best “dish” I’ve had so far), but still pretty damn good.  I am glad this is all real food, and she doesn’t add any protein powder. It tasted like a Smoothie King smoothie.

For the first time, I wasn’t dying for a cup of coffee.  I think all of the fruit sugars energized me.

Morning Snack:  Frozen Grapes

What is with all these stars freezing fruit?  Do they just buy too much to eat? Are they frugal? Until this week, I have never frozen fresh fruit.  Like everyone else, I buy a bunch, with every intention of eating it, every week.  I don’t eat all of it.  It goes bad, and I have to throw it out.  Repeat the following week. Sound familiar?

(I have frozen fruit three times this week. Note:  if you are going to freeze fruit, clean, peel, etc. before freezing.  It will make you life easier.  Also, if you are going to freeze it, please eat it.  And not, like,  in a year.  That’s just gross).

I was surprised these grapes actually retained their color in the freezer.  And they are pretty refreshing.  Each bite is  like a mini grape popsicle.  I think I may freeze the rest of the bag of grapes!

She eats, “about a sandwich bag full”, which was plenty for a snack.

Lunch: Turkey and Avocado Sandwich

I was actually starving by lunchtime.  I guess you digest fruit pretty quickly.

It’s a turkey and avocado sandwich.  That’s it....bread, turkey, avocado. The avocado is mixed with lemon juice and red pepper flake.

I was glad this sandwich had two pieces of bread, but I would have liked another ingredient in this sandwich.....tomato, cucumber, pickle?   Who taught this girl how to make a proper sandwich? The lemon juice and red pepper flake do not count as a “component” in this sandwich. I would have also liked some chips, or “11 crunchy things” on the side.  I wolfed this down and was still a little hungry.  

And drinking water with it was not very satisfying.

Afternoon Snack:  Homemade Guacamole with Chips

The only thing that could be better than a small bowl of guacamole with chips would be a large bowl of guacamole with chips.

This was the other half of the avocado that I had on my sandwich for lunch.

Nothing wrong with this snack, except that there isn’t more of it.

Dinner: Lemon-garlic Shrimp with Brown Rice

This was a kick-ass dish, even served with brown rice.  It was mainly kick-ass because I  cooked  and seasoned it properly. This is a version of a dish we normally make.  Normally, we make it with butter and serve it over grits or white rice. This version is obviously healthier.

This is sautéed shrimp in olive oil, (no butter), with garlic, red pepper flake, parsley, salt and pepper.  It is served over brown rice, and the rice actually tasted pretty good....I didn’t miss white rice or grits at all.  Thumbs up for this dish.

Dessert:  Mixed Berries

This is a bowl of mixed berries, strawberries, blueberries and raspberries.  This was a nice day to end the day.

Wine would have been a nicer way, but c'est la vie.

At least the weekend starts tomorrow.

My Verdict:  I liked the smoothie, even though it had a lot of fruit sugar in it.  It did, however, give me energy for the day.  Fruit must digest quickly; I was starving for lunch! The afternoon snack came at a perfect time.  Dinner was awesome!!

People Magazine Verdict:

Morning smoothie was great, but she should be careful of the sugar from the fruits, (Agreed, but they did give me energy). Felix could boost her dinner with a side of green veggie, (Disagree.  Dinner was perfect, even with brown rice). Felix should boost her water intake. 36 oz. is low, especially for an athlete. (Agreed!)

[starvelikeastar]

Selenis Leyva

Selenis Leyva is an American actress who’s claim to fame is starring in “Orange is the New Black”.  I don’t watch that show, so, like many of these stars, I don’t even know who she is.  But let’s see how she eats.

Hydration:  6-8 glasses of water, at least three with cucumber and lemon.  Easy, and at least the water will have some flavor today.

Breakfast:  Avocado Toast,  Pineapple and Coffee with Coconut Milk

Wow, so avocado toast is really a thing!  Here it is again.  This is half and avocado on multi-grain bread and 1/2 a cup of pineapple.

I wasn’t even hungry for breakfast when I woke up this morning, but I had to eat early so I could make it Pilates on time.

Very glad, as you know, to have coffee in the morning and not some silly protein drink. 

She takes her coffee with one packet of raw sugar, a splash of coconut milk  and a sprinkle of cinnamon. It was kind or weird having cinnamon on my coffee, but not that strange.  It was actually kind of nice.  It tasted like a normal cup of coffee.

Holy smokes, the coconut milk was awesome!  This is the best “other” milk I have tried.  It tasted like having half and half in my coffee.  I am not sure if it is healthier than regular milk.....it has more calories and more saturated fat, but it is high in iron and B-3, so there is a trade off.  It sure tastes good though.  I see a Pina Colada in my future this weekend. 

Lunch: Salmon Salad

I was actually pretty hungry by lunchtime. Since I cooked this salmon last night when I made dinner, it was pretty easy to assemble.

This is 2 cups of spinach with a 1/4 each of cucumber and carrots, one tablespoon of balsamic vinaigrette and a 6 oz. piece of salmon.

I would have liked a few more components to this salad....some red onion, the other half of the avocado I had for breakfast, some tomato, perhaps?  Due to the limited amount of ingredients, it seemed pretty plain. I wouldn’t normally put carrots with salmon, but it added a much needed crunch.  Needless to say, I had to add salt and pepper.  Shocking, I know. What on earth is their aversion to seasoning? 

The portion size was a good and the ratio of dressing to greens was correct.

Afternoon Snack: Greek Yogurt with Fresh Fruit

Perfect afternoon snack.....1 cup of plain Greek yogurt with 1/4 cup fresh fruit, drizzled with honey.

Thumbs up for taste and portion size!

Dinner:  Turkey Burger and Quinoa

Look how beige this meal is.  And it tastes just as beige and dry and bland as it looks. Blah. Would you be happy with this meal? Thumbs down.  Sad face.

At least it took no time to prepare. I made an extra turkey burger on Tuesday, so all I had to do was heat that up.  I also made extra quinoa on Monday, so I had that on hand as well.  All I really had to do was sauté the spinach and assemble.

This is a 6 oz. turkey burger with roasted garlic quinoa.  The quinoa has a 1/2 cup of spinach that was sautéed with olive oil and garlic, 1/4 cup of black olives, a tablespoon of feta cheese and a teaspoon olive oil, salt and pepper. Yeah, that’s it.  It needs about three times as much cheese and some lemon juice. Is “bland” in style for these stars, or does nutrition outweigh taste?  It is possible to have both, you know.

This plate was also not aesthetically appealing.  I would have cut the quinoa in half and added sautéed spinach on the side as a vegetable.....or any green vegetable, for that matter. I even would have given up the cucumber in my water to have with this dish.

I was glad I still had two glasses of water left, because I seriously needed them with this meal.

My verdict:

I felt like ate well today.  I was not starving; I was ready to eat at normal meal times.  The portions were good today. The yogurt with fresh fruit was the highlight of the day.  All of the meals were pretty plain and bland today.

People Magazine Verdict:

Selenis does a great job drinking water, (Really?  She drinks a normal amount of water, actually what is recommended!) Selenis could increase her veggie intake by about half a cup, (Agreed....that would give her a much needed vegetable side for dinner).  Her yogurt snack is a fantastic way to fuel up. (Agreed!)

[starvelikeastar]

Deshauna Barber:

Deshauna Barber was crowned Miss USA, 2016, but should have been crowned Miss Bad Ass 2016. Seriously, she’s GI Jane. She is currently a Logistics Commander for the 988th Quartermaster Detachment Unit at Fort Meade, Maryland. She’s 26, smart, beautiful and kick ass. She can eat whatever the fuck she wants and burn it off in a day and look great doing it.  Oh yeah, and she does a ton of volunteer work for PTSD and women in the military.

Hydration:  10.5 glasses of water

Wake-up:  Protein Shake

She calls this a protein shake, not a smoothie, because it’s more protein powder than anything else.  This has 1/2 cup frozen strawberries, (about 4 medium/small strawberries), 8 oz. of Almond Milk and a packet of plain protein powder, no sweetener. 

I don’t see how this “wakes her up”.  I would have much preferred coffee.

Also, you can really taste the protein powder.  This shake needed either more strawberries or some sweetener added to it. Even ice would have helped. It’s not very good or satisfying.  And it definitely did not “wake me up”.

Breakfast:  Cinnamon Raisin Bagel with Blueberry Cream Cheese 

Obviously this is not the healthiest breakfast, but it sure tasted good!  I suppose she could have had a whole grain bagel with low-fat cream cheese and a side of blueberries, but what’s the fun in that?

Lunch: Open-faced sandwich

Husband passed by as I was eating this and said, “I think you forgot a piece of bread on your sandwich.”  Haha.  He thinks he’s such a joker.  This was, however, a little slimy to eat without a  top piece of bread.  I should have put the lettuce on top.

This is multigrain bread, (Ezekiel), with one piece of Bibb lettuce, sliced tomato, spicy peppers, mustard, one slice of American Cheese and two slices of smoked turkey.

I almost broke my promise to stay true to the stars, faithful readers, and not purchase American Cheese, but I knuckled down and bought some.  I was raised by serious cheese lovers, who appreciated real cheese before it was cool and trendy to do so.  American Cheese never crossed the threshold of my parents house, or my own home..... until today. (I loathe American Cheese Stuffs....it goes against my very grain) And I am not even that much of a cheese snob.  I love cheese, any cheese, almost all cheese.....true cheese.  It’s what I miss eating the most during this crazy experiment.

The Cheese Police say it's not even real cheese.  It does not fall under the American standard definition of “cheese”, set forth by the FDA. Over 51% of its ingredients are “ additional ingredients” added to the milk. Take note that the word cheese never stands alone on an American Cheese package.  It’s the hot dog of the cheese world.....what the hell is in that stuff?

Great cheese is made all over this county, especially in Wisconsin,  Vermont and California....how is it that this dairy product came to be synonymous with the American cheese palate?  It’s rubbery and weird and tasteless, (I know I don’t have to describe it to anyone).  I would have much preferred cheddar on my sandwich. Even though I didn't miss the bread, I would have liked some chips or fruit with this.

I have eaten a salad everyday for lunch since starting this project.  I was thrilled to have a sandwich today, even if it was missing a piece of bread.

Afternoon Snack: Banana

Orange you glad I said banana?

I was starving by the time snack time rolled around.  I even had my snack earlier than I normally do, so I am sure to be really starving by dinnertime!

I’m starving.  When’s dinner?

Dinner: Seared Salmon with Oven-roasted Potatoes and Broccoli

Now here is a complete entrée......protein, starch and vegetable!  This is a seared piece of salmon with oven-roasted potatoes seasoned with salt, pepper and rosemary, served with broccoli that has low-fate cheddar cheese on it.

Hello white starch!! My, how nice it is to see you at dinner!

So glad she did not use American Cheese for her broccoli!

This was an actual, real meal, like many of you probably had for dinner tonight.

Dessert: One Krispy Kreme Glazed Donut

I might not have Sweetgreen’s in my neck of the woods, but I do have Krispy Kreme!  Krispy Kreme is home to the world’s best yeast donut....and they are even better when they are hot, right off the line. If you haven’t had it, you don’t know what you’re missing.

Even though I pass Krispy Kreme almost every day, I only give in to the yumminess about twice a year, so this was a treat.

I certainly did not need this dessert, but I did not have a  problem finding room for it.  It was a total sugar bomb and I am not sure how well I’ll sleep tonight, but I’ll worry about that later.

My Verdict:

I love that Deshauna eats like she doesn’t give a shit if anybody cares.  She is young and beautiful and highly athletic.  Maybe one day she will make better choices, before it all catches up with her.

I was, however, hungry for an afternoon snack and hungry again by dinnertime.  I would have rather have had the donut earlier in the day and not for dessert.

As long as she was eating poorly, I would have liked something besides water to drink.  It was no problem getting to 10.5 glasses.

I felt like, despite her fame, she ate like a normal person, especially for her age.

People Magazine Verdict:

Her bagel and cream cheese breakfast is “highly processed”, (Agreed....but it tasted yummy!).  She suggests swapping the sandwich for a salad at lunch, (No....it was so nice to have a sandwich!), and adding peanut butter or almonds to her snack, (ok, I can agree on that.....I love peanut butter!).  The dinner is a good, balanced meal, (Agreed!).  The donut is a fat and sugar bomb, (Agreed!).

[starvelikeastar]

Kym Johnson:

Kym Johnson is an Australian professional ballroom dancer and was on  Dancing With the Stars.  She is married to America’s favorite Shark, Robert Herjavec, whom she was partnered with on DWTS. She is author of a “dietary guide” called “The 5, 6, 7, 8 Diet“, which keeps her “fit, trim and bursting with energy”.

Hydration: Eight glasses of water (the 8 in the title of her book!) Clever, right?

Let me just start by saying dinner was totally gimp last night.  I was fucking starving by the time I went to bed.    My growling stomach woke me up twice in the night. 

I used to never get how people could get up and binge eat in the middle of the night, but now I get it.  And no, I did not get up to eat anything, even though I thought about it.

Breakfast:  Avocado Toast

How hip.....one lame slice of avocado toast on Ezekiel bread with salt, pepper and lemon juice.  And that’s fucking it for breakfast.  Oh, except the HOT WATER with apple cider vinegar and lemon juice.

What the FUCK???  Hot water with vinegar??? Yeah, that will wake you the fuck up, but not in the soothing caffeinated way coffee does.  Can’t she at least throw a tea bag in there? It tasted like something you are supposed to drink when you are sick.

I am not counting this as one of my eight glasses of water, BTY.

Eating like these stars, I am not caffeinated enough to stay fully awake during the day, and I am not buzzed enough to stay fully asleep at night. Fuck this, I’m going to get a cup of coffee! 

Morning Snack:  Hummus and Baby Carrots

There is a bit of a ratio problem here.  This is a half cup of hummus and a half cup of baby carrots.  I measured the hummus in a measuring cup...half a cup.  But when I went to put the carrots on a kitchen scale, (4 oz.), Husband said I was cheating.  He said the carrots should also be put into a measuring cup since it said 1/2 a cup of carrots, not 4 oz.  I didn’t see what difference it made.  He said I was trying to cheat and eat more carrots then I was allotted.  I asked if it really made a difference, and he said, “Ask a baker.” I said I wasn’t baking the carrots, so there.

So, half a cup of hummus does equal 4 oz. on a kitchen scale, but half a cup of carrots does not equal 4 oz. on a kitchen scale.   So in the end, I did not have enough carrots for the amount of hummus.  Even though I loaded those carrots down, I ended eating the rest of a hummus with a spoon.  I wasn’t going to let a morsel go to waste. And I was still hungry when I was finished with this snack.  Those six extra baby carrots would have made a difference.

Lunch:  Salad

This is yet another salad that has sated me at the moment, but is sure to leave e hungry in an hour.

This was also out of whack.....this time there was too much dressing for the amount of greens, almost one tablespoon of dressing per cup of greens.

The salad has 3 cups mixed greens, 1/2 an avocado, 2 tbsp. goat cheese, 1 tbsp. dried cranberries and 1/4 cup chopped tomato.  It is dressed with a dressing made from olive oil, maple syrup, lemon juice, salt and pepper.

I had to add additional salt and pepper to the salad before eating. 

Although I was thrilled to finally have cheese, (oh glorious cheese!), the overall dish was not too exciting.  A smaller portion of this would have made a great side salad for a dish.

Afternoon Snack:  Digestion Tea

Ok, two things:  First, what the hell is she trying to digest....she has hardly eaten anything today.  Second, can this really be considered a “snack”? WTF?

This is one cup of hot water with a slice of cucumber, a sprig of mint and a drop of mint chlorophyll.  What is mint chlorophyll, you may ask? Well, it’s basically an “internal deodorizer”.  Yes, you read that right.....it fights body odors from the inside.  So I guess her shit really doesn’t stink.

According to Merriam-Webster, a snack is a “small amount of food eaten between meals”.  It does not specify how small that amount needs to be, but I hardly think one slice of cucumber and a sprig of mint qualify.  And yes, I ate every last leaf off of that sprig of mint.

And this tasted just as you would imagine....like hot fucking water with green tea and mint.  The mint chlorophyll really doesn’t have much of a taste and added very little additional flavor.

Glad it’s a holiday and we are eating early.

Dinner: Turkey Burger with Sweet Potato Fries

Yes, that is my 4 oz. turkey burger in the forefront, with 2 slices of tomato, 2 lettuce leaves, 2 slices of pickle and mustard.  Served with sweet potato fries.

In the back, that is Husband’s over the top, Glutton-Burger with 8 oz. of beef, cheese, avocado and bacon.  He had sweet potato fries too, and a cob of corn. It’s really a totally unfair, rub-your-diet-in-your-face burger.

So, back to mine.  Want to know what it was missing?  Oh, a bun for starters, and I would have liked bacon and avocado please also. And, oh yeah, a little mayonnaise would have been nice.

The sweet potato fries were seasoned with cumin, cayenne and salt, tossed in coconut oil and baked.  Even though they were seasoned properly, they were soggy and limp.  If I would have baked them longer, they would have burned, so I think the only remedy would have been actually frying them.

It’s the Forth of July, y’all; I’m drinking a beer.  Or two.  No more than three, really.

My Verdict:

Kym Johnson is an athlete.....how does she get way with eating so little FOOD?

Things seemed out of whack today, and her afternoon snack was completely lame and not a snack at all.

I’m glad I got a whole medium sweet potato’s worth of fries because the burger was lame.  I had no problem with water intake, but even with a few beers, I stayed well under 2000 calories. People magazine reports that her intake is only 1294 calories for the day!  She must be TINY. I am not convinced this diet keeps her “bursting with energy”.  That is not the experience I had today, even with drinking coffee.

People Magazine Verdict:

Kym’s breakfast is perfection! (Um, can I see your definition of perfection?). She praised Kym’s hydrating and cleansing tea, (Really?  What exactly is the praise for?)  An apple with peanut butter or a handful of nuts would have given her more fuel, (Agreed!).

Hope y’all had happy 4th and ate like you’re free!!!

[starvelikeastar]

Shay Mitchell:

Shay Mitchell, best known for her role in Pretty Little Liars, says she was bullied as a kid.  She said she ate her lunch in the bathroom to avoid the "mean girls” in the cafeteria. I bet she’s telling them to “suck it!” now.

Hydration: 1. 5 - 2 liters of water, (She’s Canadian).  That’s approximately 6 - 8 glasses of water.

Breakfast: Smoothie

This green drink wasn’t so bad.  I wouldn’t really consider it breakfast, as I think of breakfast consisting of actual solid food.

This consisted of a “big handful” of spinach, a frozen banana, (I was smart this time, and peeled it before freezing), 1/2 cup of almond milk, Naked protein powder, 1 tsp. of PB2,  1 tsp. of flaxseed, ice and water. 

If you are new to protein powder like I am, there are a ton of them available.  Luckily, a lot of them have single serving samples you can buy.  So since she used NAKED, which I don’t if it is a name brand or means it has no flavor, I picked RAW, (WTF is the difference?).  Either way, it was not flavored or sweetened, which was nice.  This one has tons of protein and raw probiotics. I could taste it a little in the smoothie.  It was a little off-putting at first, but as I got used to it, it was not that bad.

PB2, or Peanut Butter Powder:  Another first for me, and I was able to get this at the regular grocery store, next to the peanut butter.  It,  surprisingly, tasted just like peanut butter, but with hardly any fat and almost no sugar.  You can’t however, enjoy the pleasure of dipping a big ol’ spoon in there and eating it right out of the jar, like you can with peanut butter.  And yes, I do this almost everyday.  I LOVE peanut butter, and not the good healthy kind that you have to stir with a spoon.  Fuck that shit. I love the junk food kind that never tears your bread.

So I don’t know what I’m going to do with the rest of the jar of powder; I guess add it to smoothies for the next year.

Although I did not start my day with coffee, this was not so bad of a way to begin.

Morning Snack:  Mashed Hard-boiled eggs and a Brown Rice Cake

Dry, dry, dry, dry.  Did I mention the was dry? Although the eggs were seasoned with salt, pepper and chili-oil, this was still hard to choke down.  I had to drink a glass of water with it. The brown rice cake was dry and completely tasteless. Shay, are you really happy eating this?

This is two hard-boiled eggs with salt, pepper and chili oil, served with a brown rice cake.

The hard boiled eggs were seasoned with just the right amount of chili oil to give my lips a nice tingle, but seriously, they needed something in them to give them moisture.  Who mashes up hard-boiled eggs before eating them?  WTF?  I eat a lot of hard boiled eggs, and have NEVER eaten one with a FORK.

I don't know if you have ever used chili oil, but you have to be careful...a little goes a long way, so this could not have been used to add any moisture.  If you use too much, you will get blow-your-head-off spicy!

This was a an unsatisfying snack as far as taste goes.  Having solid food was, however, a bonus.  Was this a “snack” or a “late breakfast”?  Whatever.

I wish I was able to start the day with coffee.

Lunch: Sweetgreen’s Spicy Sabzi Salad

Shay Mitchell picks this salad up from a restaurant called Sweetgreen.  Sweetgreen’s are located in several parts of the country, but not where I live.  Lots of people seem to like this salad and there are several different recipes out there by people trying to figure out  how to prepare it.  I mashed two different recipes together to come up with the one I made. 

It took me 45 minutes to make this dish!!!  It obviously would have been more convenient if I could have just picked it up to go as she did.

This salad has fresh  kale, spinach and carrots, roasted  broccoli and tofu, beets, quinoa, and a carrot-chili dressing.

I had high hopes that the tofu would have tasted better since it was roasted in the oven instead of sautéed, but it was just as bland and tasteless as ever.  I even hoped that tossing it together with all of the other ingredients would help it absorb flavor, but again, I was wrong.  Why the hell do people eat this? I would have rather have had a slice of super-healthy Ezekiel bread, and omit the tofu.  I see lots of tofu in Dog’s future this week. She doesn’t complain about it a bit.

The rest of the salad was pretty good, but it needed more spice and more acid.  The dressing tasted great.....carrots, basil, mint, 1/2 a lime, 1/2 a jalapeño,  salt and olive oil, blended in a food processor.  If I made this again, I would use the whole lime and whole jalapeño. I mean, spicy is right there in the title of the dish! Besides the lack of zing, it did fill me up for lunch.   Since it took so long to make, I was pretty hungry by the time it was ready.

Can’t these stars drink anything else but water with their meals?  Flavor me please.

Oh my god, I’m almost out of my allotted amount of water for the day!!

It took all my willpower not to stop at Starbuck’s.

Afternoon Snack: None.

This is the plate my snack would have gone on.....IF I HAD ONE!!

Dinner:  Baked Salmon with Asparagus

It looks like this plate was sent out to a table before it was completed.  That’s it, salmon and asparagus?  There has to be more.  But no, alas, there is not.  No wonder, Shay, that you are so thin.

The salmon and asparagus were both oven roasted with salt, pepper and lemon.  They both tasted alright, but this dish is missing a component.  (Husband made a very nice beet salad to accompany his.....looked delish).

And I am really getting tired of drinking water with every meal.

And that’s it for tonight, folks, no dessert....not even four chocolate covered almonds.

My Verdict:

This girl doesn’t seem to eat for the taste of the food. 

The smoothie was ok this morning.  The eggs and rice cake were way to dry.  Lunch was also ok, (although she didn’t cook it).  I have never eaten at Sweetgreen, so I don’t know how the original tastes.

Dinner....thumbs down.  This dish was incomplete and left me wanting more.  I would have been happy with even another vegetable.

How do these starts survive with no caffeine?  Coffee, by the way, has almost ZERO calories, if that is what they are worried about.  It’s all the shit people put in coffee that is fattening.

People Magazine Verdict:

A+ for her fruit, veggie and water intake.  (I did eat a lot of veggies today, not so much fruit, and 8 glasses of water was not enough).  High praise for a snack that has high fiber and protein.  (Ok, but low praise on the taste-o-meter).  It is suggested that she add whole grains to her dinner.  (Agreed!). By eating them you are less likely to crave junky carbs like candy and white pasta.  (No wonder I am longing to badly for the four almonds I bitched about last week).

Note:  Several people have asked me if I have lost any weight doing this, so:

Change in weight during the week:  -.4#

Change in weight over the weekend: +.4#

Net change since inception:  0#

[starvelikeastar]

Shalita Grant:

Shalita Grant is an actress on NCIS New Orleans. She lives by the motto, “Eat to fuel your body, not to stuff your feelings” . She can “nail a stunt, because her body is dope!”.  And just take a look, it is dope.

Hydration: 6 - 8 bottles of water (that’s 12-16 glasses!!) plus a 16 oz. Kampuchea.

Breakfast: Omelet

This omelet was freaking delicious!  And it was a proper portion.

This is a two-egg omelet with a 1/4 cup of sautéed kale, cooked in olive oil and seasoned with salt.  Bless her heart, a star who finally seasons her food! I guess all that time filming in New Orleans must have had an effect on her.

I was a little worried about how this would come out because I had to photograph it, but I was happy with the result.  Not all omelet attempts are a success.

First I sautéed the kale and set that aside, so my pan was good and hot when I added the eggs and kale.  I believe the key to a successful omelet is a hot pan, and to my delight, it worked.

A good breakfast really can change your outlook on the day.

I have to up my water game today.  I am sure filming in New Orleans keeps her thirsty and needing plenty of hydration!

Snack: Yogurt with Blueberries and Granola

This was the perfect little snack at the perfect little time.  It is a half cup of plain low-fat yogurt with a 1/4 cup each of blueberries and granola.

If I had to change anything, I would drizzle a little agave nectar on it for some sweetness, but I loved the texture, especially the crunch of the granola.  A 1/4 cup granola is more than you think.  I thought it would be gimp, but it wasn’t.

I like how this girl eats!  It’s been a great eating day so far.

Lunch: Salad

Look how beautiful this salad is!!  This consist of 1/2 cup of black beans, 1/4 cup of white rice, 1/4 cup of diced cucumber, 1/4 cup of diced red bell pepper, 1 tablespoon of white onion, fresh herbs, (basil, thyme, mint and chives....it’s what I have in my garden), dressed with 1 tablespoon each apple cider vinegar and olive oil.  It’s seasoned with salt and pepper.

It is both pretty and delicious!  I didn’t think a quarter cup of this and a quarter cup of that would add up to much, but it was the perfect portion.

To drink:  Kambucha.  I have never been a kambucha fan, so I chose one that had the most flavor.  This one had raspberry, lemon and ginger in it. I thought you were supposed to shake it before drinking. It exploded like a soda.  Luckily, I didn’t lose that much or make a big mess. Upon closer inspection, in very small print, it says, “Do not shake before opening”.  Oops.

This kambucha was actually very tasty, and I managed to drink all of it with lunch.

Snack: Kimchi

This is a 1/4 of a cup of kimchi, and was an odd and weirdly delicious snack.

For those of you who are not familiar with kimchi, it is fermented cabbage.  It is a staple of Korean cuisine. (It can actually refer to any fermented vegetables, but in America, we associate it with fermented cabbage).  If you were buy kimchi at the store, you would get cabbage.  I have not actually seen any other type of kimchi for sale.

Although I like kimchi, I would never think to just grab some from a jar as a snack.  I have had kimchi plenty of times, but always as an accompaniment to a dish. It’s supposed to be super healthy for you. It is said to aid in everything from good gut bacteria to lowering your risk of heart disease and diabetes.

Dinner: Seared Tofu with Buckwheat Soba Noodles

This may look delicious, and without the tofu it would have been.  Why the hell do people eat that stuff?  Seriously, is didn’t taste like anything.  People say it tastes like cardboard, but at least cardboard tastes like cardboard.  This didn’t taste like anything.  Totally bland.  And the bitch of it is, it would have been a great dish, minus the tofu.

This meal is  a 1/2 cup or buckwheat soba  noodles with bok choy, Chinese eggplant, enoki mushrooms and 6 oz. of tofu.  It is tossed with  tamari, (which is a type of soy sauce), and red pepper flakes

I would have GLADLY given up the tofu for more of EVERYTHING ELSE.  Husband hated  the tofu so much he picked it out and fed it to Dog.  Dog, by the way, had no complaints whatsoever, and happily gobbled it up.  I was, however, hungry, (not starving), for dinner and ate all of mine.

Dessert: 1-2 oz of artisanal chocolate

This is 1.5 oz. of 72% dark chocolate with sea salt and almonds. 

I don’t have much of a sweet tooth, even for chocolate, and would have happily given this up for wine with dinner.  It was good, but just saying, wine would have been more satisfying.

What is the aversion to alcohol?  I just don’t get it.  FYI, myth busted......not drinking ANY alcohol does not help you sleep any better. 

At the end of week one, I am still a firm believer in “everything in moderation”.

My verdict:

Shelita Grant defiantly was the clear winner this week!  I did not starve at all.  In fact, I was satisfied and sated all day.  Her food was tasty, healthy and pretty.

Note: From People Magazine on-line, “I have a chef come in every day and prepare my meals,” the 4’11” actress, 28, told PEOPLE. “There is no way I could do the stunt work, stay up as late as I have to, or be outside in the heat if I’m eating poorly. That means I can’t eat craft services!”

Hmmmm.....at least she admits it.  I am sure that Oprah and Julia are not preparing their meals either.  And when you reach a certain star status, you can demand a chef and not have to eat from “craft services”, aka, “mass catering for the plebians on set”.

People Magazine Verdict:

Shalita has a very good gut diet. (Agreed!). She could add more whole grains to her diet. ( Even though I had an early dinner, I was happily satisfied with the amount of food and the portions.  If I worked out like she does, I would probably want more whole grains, but I am not a star, and don’ t exercise like one.)

She get praise for snacking on sweet and savory superfood. (Agreed, although the kimchi was a little weird.  I could have easily just had another yogurt.)

I managed to drink 12 glasses of water today!

[starvelikeastar]

Ashley Tisdale:

Ashley Tisdale is an actress, singer and social medial sensation.  She says her diet is “ all about feeling good”, but she has “food sensitivities”, which is code for, “I’m a total pain in the ass and hardly eat anything”. She’s the reason waiters drink. I might actually starve today.

Hydration:  Eight glasses of water

Breakfast: Protein Shake

Breakfast?  Um, not really.

Technically, it is breaking the fast from sleeping, but this hardly seems to fall under the definition of breakfast.

This is a protein shake made with dairy free chocolate protein powder, almond milk and blueberries.  I just picked a protein powder off the shelf that seemed to fit the bill.

I have never had protein powder in my entire life, so this was new to me.  Although it only has one gram of sugar in it, it is super sweet.  It is sweetened with my old fake friend Stevia. Yes, it had that artificial sweet taste that I love so much.  Yuck.

This drink tastes just like super sweet chocolate milk.  And even though it “ is packed with protein”, I am sure to be hungry shortly.  This did not satisfy my need for breakfast.....or should I say my need for FOOD.

Snack:  Hard-boiled egg and a kiwi

A hard-boiled egg and a kiwi walk into a bar........this is no joke.  This is my mid-morning snack.There is not much to say about a hard-boiled egg and a kiwi, except that I was hungry and glad to have solid food.

Lunch:  Chicken Salad

I was STARVING by the time lunch rolled around and even after eating this bowl of rabbit food, I am still hungry.

This salad consisted of greens, carrot, avocado, celery and chicken.  It is dressed with lemon juice and vinegar, (I chose red wine vinegar...hey, if I can’t have red wine).  Of course, I added salt and pepper. Why can’t she just make a vinaigrette?

As far as salads go, this one wasn’t that great.  This reminded me of a “house salad, add chicken” at a popular chain restaurant. 

I am halfway done with my water intake for the day.

I don’t know if I am getting a headache from the lack of caffeine or the lack of food.

I feel like a kindergartener, “Is it snack time yet?”

Snack:  Half a cup of strawberries and four slices of pepperoni

Who eats strawberries and peperoni together?  Or kiwi and egg?

This girl is either a total stoner or she really has no food in her house and just grabs whatever she can find in her dusty cupboards and bare fridge.

The strawberries are sliced like that because I tried to cram as many of those fuckers I could into a half cup measuring cup.  It only came to FOUR small to medium sized strawberries.

I chose a very peppery peperoni, as you can see, and had to drink a glass of water with it.  Now I only have two glasses of water left, and I will need one with dinner.

Dinner: Steak

This dinner was really good and could have only been improved by being served with a glass of wine.

Although she did not specify portions, I tried to stay true to what I believed were the correct portions.  This is a 6 oz. grass-fed beef sirloin, served with zucchini, onion and mushrooms.  Everything was made with olive oil, salt and pepper.  It was delish!

And I am sated.

My verdict:

I would have felt better if I had a REAL breakfast and not just a protein shake.

I also felt like I was STARVING most of the day.  The salad kind of sucked. 

The afternoon snack was a little strange, but she redeemed herself with dinner.

People Magazine Verdict:

Ashley has a superclean diet and does not eat any junk food. (Ok, last I checked, peperoni definitely fell under junk food).   She should consider adding some whole-grain carbs early in the day to keep her energy levels up. (Agreed!  I wondered why I was so tired...I thought it was lack of caffeine.  She could add more FOOD earlier in the day to keep her energy levels up)