um anyway so here are some “damian bein a baby” headcanons that literally no one asked for but imma just put it out there anyway because 1) dami deserves it, 2) i deserve it, n 3) i have nothing better to do (except homework but fuck that)
@dc - here are my demands:
give me damian with wiggly teeth n gap-toothed smiles
give me damian baring his teeth at a villain to Intimidate™ them but it kinda falls short bc he’s missing his whole-ass front tooth
give me damian constantly wiggling his tooth day in n day out so much that it hurts but in that weird, addicting kind of way that you just can’t stop doing it
wiggly teeth annoy the fuck out of damian n they’re really distracting to him but he doesn’t let anyone pull it out bc the league used to do that really harshly, like even if the tooth was just a little bit wiggly n it hurt him :(
just yanking wiggly teeth out is fucking terrifying to me jfc
give me bruce angsting over the fact that he missed his baby’s entire childhood only to realize through a really nonchalant remark at the dinner table that dami still has a good amount of baby teeth left n it just hits him like a fucking freight train that his baby is still a baby
suffice to say the batfam takes tooth fairy shenanigans wayyyy too far
give me damian + the fam fighting a bunch of criminals in a dark alleyway and damian spends the entire time distracted, wiggling a loose tooth n a goon gets a lucky shot in
the guy punches him across the face hard. it goes by really fast so all dami can really remember is stumbling and falling and the next thing he knows he’s spitting out blood and his tiny baby tooth. his tiny. BABY. tooth.
everyone just stares at it for a good five seconds before the batfam goes fucking feral on that poor dude’s ass
damian amidst the chaos thinking ‘huh that was efficient’ n purposefully seeking out random bad guys to fight so they can knock his wiggly teeth out baby that’s not healthy jadsdnjkasd
give me damian bein small enough to hide behind his dad & older siblings
like yeah the brat’s as confrontational and in-your-face as you can get, but conversations can get overwhelming n sometimes he just doesn’t want to interact w people
so he just,,, ducks behind the nearest batfam member and waits for the other person to stop talking so they can leavvvvveee
he’ll periodically peek out from behind whoever he’s hiding behind to glare at the other person
it’s a wonder how brief and concise conversations can be when there’s a tiny angry little gremlin glaring at you
family members with capes are most preferred bc they’re more easy to hide behind - so that means tim, steph, cass n bruce
but damian hides behind jason a lot too bc he’s so small n jason’s so much bigger than him, it makes him the ideal hiding spot
“uhhh jay?” “yeah?” “not to freak you out or anything but i just noticed there’s a big lump in the back of your jacket.” “no there isn’t.” “um??? yeah there is? it’s right ther-” “what fucking lump. there’s no fucking lump. shut up”
jason would rather die again than admit it but he likes it when dami hides behind him, it’s like a silent show of trust n it makes his Big Brother Instincts™ (that he totally has) go completely insane
he even considers getting a cape just cuz it would make it easier for damian to hide but ultimately decides against it bc a cape and a leather jacket?? would look kinda stupid
plus damian doesn’t seem to mind the capelessness so.
the first & second time damian instinctively hides behind jon’s cape to avoid a conversation, poor superbaby is very very confused
the third, fourth n fifth time he turns bright pink
by the sixth time he ends up just absentmindedly staring at the other person w a bright red face and a half-lovestruck expression n that other person just. slinks away.
sorry i had to add in that little bit of jondami y'all know i have no self-control
give me big brother tim. GIVE ME BIG BROTHER TIM JFC
tim is designated Big Brother With A Cape™ and fuck everyone who thinks damian wouldn’t exploit that
im talking these two cuddling on rooftops in the middle of patrol or a stakeout bc damian gets cold really easily
like damian would just be sitting in tim’s lap and tim would wrap his feather-cape around them
they look like one ginormous bird-lump-thing
for some reason they naturally gravitate to cuddling on ledges and yeah dick does not get Good Vibes™ from that, but he knows they’re capable n he trusts them to take care of themselves
is it ooc to make them love each other? maybe. but fuck canon so.
give me one of the other batfam members finding tim and dami nestled together like this on a ledge and they’re just like
“what the hell are you do-” “we’re roosting. fuck off”
“scoot over im joining” “nope. this is strictly a robins only activity.” “…wtf i was robin too?” “no i mean current robins only” “but you’re?? not robin either??” “im red robin dumbass it’s in the name”
“im changing my name” “you can’t just fucking do that.” “too late im Robin-Hood now.” (it goes on n on ‘night-robin’ ‘bat-robin’ ‘signal-robin’ ‘spoiler-robin’ etc. etc.)
tim lets them join even tho they’re all cheating cheaters who cheat
damian was just knocked tf out in tim’s lap the entire time so he doesn’t have to listen to all this bullshit :)
in the interest of having this not be the longest post in tumblr, i’ll just end it there. if anyone’s interested hit me up n i’ll gladly scream about other hcs with y’all all day everyday