Please don't learn!
Purging hands free is a curse! I used to think it was important but if you ever want to recover it's not. If I drink to much pop the carbon will make me puke, if I have the smallest bit of nausea I will puke. It's not worth it!
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@stayingonthetightrope-blog
Please don't learn!
Purging hands free is a curse! I used to think it was important but if you ever want to recover it's not. If I drink to much pop the carbon will make me puke, if I have the smallest bit of nausea I will puke. It's not worth it!
I love all of you!
I've been lost for words. I've been lost. I was bartered for meth and date ramped... There was a shot gun in his reach and he was high. I trusted my friend and she used me for free dope. I have been blocking my feelings. I'm still eating and trying to move on but I'm holding this secret. I don't know how long I can keep going with recovery with this secret.
I want to give up
Totally got dumped
It was out of nowhere. Biggest fight with relapse happening right now!
Stigma
You think guys writing you off as being on your period is bad? How about guys writing you off for being mentally Ill.. Even if you've been in recovery. Every time you are mad or annoyed you are crazy in their eyes. You maybe completely justified but your mental health gives them an excuse to continue their behavior. It also gives their friends a perfect gossiping threshold.
Black and white blogs to follow
Message me if you are... - recovering from a mental illness - struggling with a mental illness but want recovery - blog pretty things - don't post thinspo or sad sick girls - must be all black and white!!!!!
Helpless
My best friend, sister in recovery, the girl I was attached to the hip with in IP, and the girl who has kept me on recovery may end up on the streets. She's all the way in NYC and I'm in Oklahoma. What do I do?! My heart is so terrified for her! I hate her mother! Who kicks their child out and forces them to be homeless? What a monster!
And I'll be here by the ocean just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams.
Mayday Parade
This was taken a year and about 4 months ago. I didn't know my life was going to change so much when I met him and we started our crazy wonderful journey. This guy saved my life. He was the first person to be completely honest with me and tell me he loved me to much to watch me starve myself to death. He showed me I was worth fighting for. He traveled to visit me every weekend in IP and talked to me every night. He motivated and encouraged me to fight everyday and showed me that life can be wonderful. I love this man to death and he's about to embark on his own journey into the Air Force. I can't wait to bless him with the love and support he blessed me with while he transforms from a civilian into an Air Man.
Swollen hands
I don't like it when my hands swell. It takes me back to my really bad days when they would swell and I'd feel horrible. When it happens out of the blue now it makes me feel really embarrassed.
How recovery is compared to Frozen.
Watch the whole movie then watch it again with these thoughts. People with ED are Elsa, we try to hide our pain and try to be perfect. "Conceal don't feel, don' t let them know, be the good girl you always have to be" People between ED and recovery are Elsa when she sings Let it Go. People realizing it's ok to recover and be happy are Anna when she sings The First Time in Forever. It's us saving ourselves!
Control
When you get out of iP and you no longer use your Ed as control what do you do when hard things happen? My love has decided to join the Air Force and has been sworn in. In 4 months he will be at basic and that means 8 weeks of nothing but letters (if I even get any) to connect us. It all depends on his superiors if he will even get to write me at all. I'm losing control over my own relationship to the government. I love him and I know he loves me, good lord the guy pronounces his love for me over and over while drunk with his friends lol. It would be so easy to just cling to Ed through this but in my heart I don't want to. I'm worried tho. So fucking worried.
Pro recovery moments.
Those moments that you feel to the fullest because you aren’t numbing out. Moments where you look at the man you love and your heart fills with love. You’ve felt your heart fill with love for him before during you ED but now it’s so intense it’s about to burst and it makes you feel alive! ED is no longer dulling the feeling. You’re heart is full with love and you're happy…. Truly happy. I know tomorrow I might struggle with ED but these moments let me know ED is losing and I’m winning.
Recover and everyone wants a fucking apology.
I hate that people demand for you to apologize! "Well you don't have a disorder now"... Let's get one thing straight I maybe in recovery and can see clearer now but that doesn't mean I have to go digging through my past nightmare to apologies to you for something I said while mentally fucked up! If you love me then forgive my disorder and what I did in it. Don't make me relive it because you think you were the victim! I was abused and went through enough of a hell which spiraled me into 4 mental illness. I'm sorry but get over it. There is enough I have to forgive myself for and I don't need you coming to me with an attitude that I have to beg for your forgiveness. I am not going to spend the rest of my life getting my past thrown in my face all the fucking time! If I have to forgive my own parents for the years of abuse and many others who contributed to my hell without an apology then where do you come off demanding I apologize for something that was hardly any consequence to you.
Asking the nurse to be weighed backwards at normal doctor visits.
#edrecoveryprobs