seeing her spread relief through him, hearing her tell him he was alright even more so. there was no world that daemian could live in where syrenna baratheon did not live. he could handle being across the narrow sea from her again — not that he wished to, or at least he did wish to go back, but not without her —, but he could not handle the thought of her going to old gods while he still lived. it ached him to even think about and he shouldn't, not when she was in front of him and as well as she could have been while a plague passed through the red keep. he tugs her closer to himself, wraps his arms around her shoulders and lets his face fall into the crook of her neck, much like she was doing to him. he could smell the wood and freshness of her scent, one that was making his mind clearer, dispelling the worry he had been feeling the whole night as chaos erupted. "i am alright, sapling, completely unharmed. i am only glad that you are well, if i had to visit the sickrooms to see you i do not know what i would have done." his words muffle against her skin, sending warm puffs of breath across the patch, his lips ghosting across it. oh to press his lips there with purpose. "i would not leave you again and especially not like that."
but was he not going to eventually? leave her for the arbor or for claw isle, let himself settle into the normalcy of a life wed, but a life not wed to the one woman he had ever truly loved. it makes his saliva thick in his throat, extra effort needed to swallow the lump it created. "i did not wish to—" daemian's voice is gentle as he addresses her, "you could not have and you know that, there would have been even more questions and none that we could answer." he thinks back to mere hours ago, the stone walls of the keep where he had spilled every last secret of his affections for syrenna. the confession he had muttered before chaos had begun. i love you. it makes shame sit hot in his stomach. she had not said it back and while he wished to believe that she meant to, he was not sure if she really did. perhaps the hope was the buzz he had felt after the rushing words and heightened emotions.
"last night—" daemian begins, pulling away from her, but not far enough where their bodies were not still touching, just enough to look at her. "what i said... that i—" he swallows thickly, for once nerves are set alight within him, "i love you." it burns coming out, but feels so right at the same time. to have her in his arms and tell her all he had ever wished to tell her. at the same time there is fear, enough that he turns his head away so that she does not see the look on his face, the hurt that would show if she would not say it back. "i—" courage drains from him, but he still manages to say: "i meant it. that i love you, that i still love you so deeply it hurts." daemian hangs his head, soft locks of valyrian silver fall into his eyes, "i will love you even if you tell me you don't or you never did. nothing could change how i feel about you, syrenna."