some may find lady arryn unnerving. it is difficult not to, when rumours lay waste to her house, a reputation beseiged with the constant spiritual hazards of the septa. and yet gwyn awaits a kindred spirit in obsession, and instead finds a different kind blooming like a fine rose before them: the humanity angle of it, and the lack of rejection towards their seeking of what was forbidden. most too afraid to listen, and others too nervous to understand what is unknown. “ so then it's a natural part of us, seeking someone else? … you may be right. ” a scene from a debate comes back to them, intellectual exchanges over the table of small meals and clear water, leaving minds clear to explore the world around them as board games and other explorations of the mind happened around them. a deep, intrinsic talk of highborn versus lowborn, and what the difference really was when the word of derision was peeled away. the answer: nothing. in this turn, gwyn hears the similar rhetoric. it reminds them why they so adored her and, in a sense, admired her: her carriage, her perspective, her stubbornness and willpower. how could any noble not look at house arryn and not desire to be upon its same fortress steps?
“ no, you haven't, i … i'm glad to finally not have this be secret to someone. it's not of my spouse's religion, my family's, i never thought it could be anything but whisper and forsaken. ” the observation of being cornered upsets them in some sense, not because of it being an overstep, but because it calls attention to the slick, poisonous reason gwyn disguises so much about themself. the nervosa sinks its teeth deeper into their stomach, and the very organs within them feel as if they tremble. “ i'm not sure how to put this in a way where decorum wins, lady amaya. but when i've been questioned before, it's never just questions. it's interrogations, it's accusations. it's attached to something else. ” they did not wish to make the weights upon her worsen with details, but even this is more than gwyn has confessed to most. perhaps, in the earlier days, dexian understood and heard the difficulties they faced upon their lord father's pressuring. “ it makes me happy to hear you're not this sort of hollow. i wish i wasn't. ”
putting name to their melancholia hurts them. it makes them want to weep when this should be a rather pleasurable and, at least, excitable discussion. but it is true. they wished desperately they needed not any of this, the validation nor the affection, the endless sorrow of discovery. “ i like your curiosity. ” may it be bold or whatever it is. “ i'm not used to curiosity. my answers have been chosen for me and my place in heart's home labelled before i'd a chance to change it. it's welcome, even if i look … cornered. ” repeating it back, a laugh emerges. by the light, the whole things feels a bit ridiculous when saying it aloud, then realising that it's meant about you. “ if not any god, then what is it you seek? what do you pray to if not something that needs prayers? ” they decide to not stifle their curiosity. besides, amaya has seen it before in smaller places, the vale the only realm to exist around them, the rest of it moot and distant.