Walter Becker And Donald Fagen Are My Two Wolves

[slavery]

[macbethz]

Fuck I’m at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and I’m probably going to win a medal.

[seananmcguire]

BURN BAGEL BURN

[gothiccharmschool]

OH WHY NOT?

[harukami]

I need to follow up to say I reblogged this last night, and this morning I got some of the best news of my life, like, a life dream come true news thing.

Bagel what are your powers

[acabosetotal]

FUCK, I though it was just another lucky meme but LISTEN. Since a week ago I was waiting a phone call to confirm me if I got a job or not in my university. I reblogged this yesterday’s night “just for fun and because I don’t want any bagel to be mad with me”, and today’s afternoon, while I was losing my time as always, the professor I was supposed to work with called me and asked me for my personal information to start working with her.

THE BAGEL POWERS ARE WAY TOO MUCH FOR THIS WORLD

[token-white-friend]

I GOT A JOB THE DAY AFTER MY QUEUE POSTED THIS THE FIRST TIME AND I JUST REALIZED IT WHEN I SAW IT AGAIN HOLY GOD

[noodle-dragon]

The bagel hasn’t let me down yet!

[steelydanbuttheyrekissing]

All I care about is the girl reading this❤️ (and only if she’s my pretty girlfriend)

[steelydanbuttheyrekissing]

My gf is so small I have to check my shoes so I don’t smooch her she’s in my socks rn cause she’s chilly willy

[steelydanbuttheyrekissing]

It’s probably a student driver I say as I ride his ass so close I can peel off his bumper sticker

[steelydanbuttheyrekissing]

I’d like it if Cher used my penis as a microphone to sing gypsys tramps and thieves and then Bad love and then dark lady and then pretend to be finished and then do an encore of shoop shoop and then she gives my pee pee just one smooch and goes off into the night and then I wake up unsure whether I dreamt this experience

[steelydanbuttheyrekissing]

Awww yeah take all that weiner- me in the Costco parking lot sucking penis after eating eighteen costdogs

[steelydanbuttheyrekissing]

I bet dudes who chew hubba bubba can eat pussy so good

[steelydanbuttheyrekissing]

You study Econ? Ohhhhh so you’re going to Jupiter to get more stupider?

[steelydanbuttheyrekissing]

I like how so much of tik tok is videos where it’s like uh oh I’ve been kidnapped but the authorities are here but also I don’t have anymore words allotted for today (because of a curse placed upon me and my family by an ottoman era halberd gifted to my great great great grandfather as a gift for his service against the Habsburgs) so I can’t call for help because the….

[steelydanbuttheyrekissing]

Perpendicular lines are parallel lines that met and are kissing

Parallel lines are ace coded

[steelydanbuttheyrekissing]

Got my first porn hot while picking my blokette u-haul core dragon age gamer gf from the airport

[milfsisyphus]

is anyone else on this hill or is it just me and sisyphus and kate bush?

[le-sansnom]

[tiixij]

[radiofreederry]

[steelydanbuttheyrekissing]

My gf sent this to me for the record

[v1leblood]

divorce is so funny. like never mind

[fuckthewounded]

Does anyone . Want to hang out

[fuckthewounded]

can i come over and act weird in your presence

[jame7t]

i love how castles are like, a fairytale staple and princesses live in them now. those were military installations do you think in 4000 years the irradiated mice that inherit our world will tell stories about princesses living on aircraft carriers

[cryptotheism]

She let me hit it because I solved her riddles three