So, it's been a while since I've been on Tumblr. Like, almost a year or two? But I know this place is a safe space to get this off my chest so I'm just gonna do that because I have to force myself to move on. And I'm not sure why, but maybe I'm hoping that I am not alone in feeling this way? It's kind of silly, but I guess for anyone that's reading this, either the heartbreaker or the heartbroken, I hope you can understand this and for the former really reflect on your actions, and the latter be stronger than me and get back out there eventually.
Edit: Too tired to edit this, but new developments. Maybe I'll post tomorrow. For now, let's see if I can sleep...
My heart has finally shattered enough that I don't think I can put it back together anymore.
I haven't felt this heartbroken since maybe High School? Probably when my first ex-boyfriend screwed me over when I was in college.
But I definitely remember the fluttering drop of your heart, the random breaking down and bawling your eyes out no matter where you are (please, I HATE crying in public and at work 🥲), and the roller coaster feeling your gut goes through when you've been faced with the realization that the person you love doesn't love you the way you loved them.
It hurts so fucking bad.
Someone I bore my entire soul to, shared my deepest, darkest thoughts and secrets, someone I had completely put all my trust and faith in, someone I had thought about almost every single day, could not go a day without saying either good morning or good night to for the past 3 years. Someone that I wanted to make happy and thought my love and affection would make them happy, maybe even possibly share a life together, that someone wanted someone else instead. Pined for someone else while I pined for them, longed for their touch, for their warmth, to hear their voice say my name softly while raking their fingers through my hair. I longed to hug them, hold them in my arms, give them all the love I have in me and more because that was what they deserve, all of that was gone in the instant of a conversation.
While I don't regret making them tell me the truth and it hurts, I'm happy that I know and I can finally get it through my head, this lesson that has been hanging over my head that I have not been able to understand all this time.
No one will love me the way I want them to.
It's a tough pill to swallow, makes a horse pill look like Flintstones vitamins imo.
But a lesson that should have registered in my head a long time ago, if I hadn't kept holding out for hope that my one true person was out there for me.
The hopeless romantic of sorts, I guess. Now look at where it got me. AGAIN. I wasn't expecting it from them out of all people, but it's usually the ones closest to you that can do the most damage. And now I am left an empty husk of what I once was, feeling betrayed and confused.
And the worst part of all of this is that now I question everything, did they really mean it when they told me they loved me? Did I really think an online, long-distance relationship was going to work? Did I really think I could stop a person from finding someone within their vicinity to connect with?
They had shared a story with me once before about them being turned down by a guy, and the guy told them, "you think you're fucking special?" Guess that's the real lesson learned here. I am special to no one. And NO ONE can change my mind on this.
This started off as a friendship and blossomed into something more, a deeper connection with romantic interests, maybe I was looking at it the wrong way? Maybe (EDIT: Definitely was) that was just something casual for them? Maybe I'm too romantic?
I guess this is just going to be my way of getting closure. I don't think I can bring myself to say these things to the one I used to love, but being able to let it out and for someone to read it makes me feel better. (Edit: I decided to message them and tell them how I felt, and the edits are the updates of what was said to me lol)
For anyone reading and feeling the same way I do, know that you are not alone. I'm sure there is someone out there for you, please be stronger than I am and get back out there and try. I'm not strong enough, I don't want to try anymore. I honestly just want to disappear, never to be seen or heard from again. It sounds dramatic I know, but when you love as hard as I do and constantly get hurt by people who either genuinely love you or not is just... tiring. I cannot put my heart back together any longer.
EDIT: So, they "didn't know I felt that way about them..."
Lol fuck this eloquent shit now, TLDR I ain't dating a goddamn body anymore and I hope the "fling" was worth losing your "best friend" over. I am enraged.
all the tips I found for drawing a fantasy map are like :) “here’s a strategy to draw the land masses! here’s how to plot islands!” :) and that’s wonderful and I love them all but ??? how? do y'all decide where to put cities/mountains/forests/towns I have my map and my land but I’m throwing darts to decide where the Main Citadel where the Action Takes Place is
okay so i know i said most of this in the replies but it might be easier to actually reblog and say stuff instead lmao
Cities - go near water! freshwater lakes and rivers (rivers especially) are the best places for cities because A) source of water and B) travel and trade is much easier cus you can put your boats like right there. Basically ever relevant city ever was built on a lake or a river.
for rivers in general - because gravity, rivers run from mountains (forming from melting snow and ice (this is why they get fat in spring–more stuff melting)) to lakes/ocean where they can empty out (and even lakes will have rivers leading out that eventually get to the ocean), which can help when mapping out where those start and end. rivers are also much thinner and faster in steeper elevations and very slow and wide when the land is flat
mountains - i like to think of what the tectonic plates look like because that’s what makes mountains! mountains are also never standalone they’re always in mountain ranges (archipelagos are really just underwater mountain ranges babey). a cool trick I like to do is occasionally separate mountain ranges across continents, because over time the tectonic plates shifted and literally split the range in half. These mountains are really old tho so they’ve eroded and therefore it makes them smaller and rounder (like the appalachians) as opposed to relatively young mountain ranges like the rocky mountains which have taller and sharper peaks
Another mountain trick: if your mountains run along the ocean, the ocean side of the mountains will get a LOT of rain while the other side will be very dry–almost desert-like, in fact. think of temperate rainforests in British Columbia vs the drier conditions in the canadian prairies
forests - depends on how warm the area might be. coniferous forests are found further north (before you hit the tree line, and then it’s only tundra onwards) but as you head south you get leafier trees, and the leaves tend to get larger too
If you think about general elevation too, you’ll have places that might be swampy (wet + lower). if your world has an ice age like we did, then glaciers may have carved the land, leaving piles of soil in the south that was left when the ice receded and places where the bedrock has been bared north of that (like the Canadian Shield in Canada–the reason we see that is because of the glaciers)
You might also have a land that’s dotted in a shitton of freshwater lakes as well because the meltwater filled the holes that the glaciers scraped out (this is why canada has so many goddamn lakes)
and if the ice age was more recent than it was in our world, then you might not even have the forest re-growth and it could be a lot of open plains
tl;dr i like to think of major climate events that might have also shaped the land on top of some basic rules
TFW you have a really shitty day and 🤏🏽 close to either raging or crying (in no particular order), and your roommates buy you bubble tea to cheer you up... :')
-ˏˋ A song fic about you and Kuroo's long distance relationship, you were a manger from Karasuno that he head over heels fell in love with and the rest is history
-ˏˋ┊WC › 596
-ˏˋ┊Genre › Song fic, fluff !
-ˏˋ┊A/N › I actually know how to play this song on the ukulele! It's such a nice and relaxing song to sing and I love her voice, she's such a great singer 😍💕 (also million miles is an over exaggeration, more like a hundred miles away)
I'm lying on the moon
My dear, I'll be there soon
You checked your phone for any messages from Kuroo, there was nothing. Rolling to your side as you tapped on your phone. 'Hey dork, what cha up to?' you texted him. Not a minute later a reply was sent. 'Not much kitten, just missing you..' Who knew even with such distance Kuroo can still make butterflies appear in your stomach.
It's a quiet and starry place
Time's we're swallowed up
Your apartment felt cold and lonely, silence filled up the corridors. It was a nice sound, but Kuroo's voice could make it better. Maybe you should call him, it would definitely make your night better.
Time's we're swallowed up
In space we're here a million miles away
As your phone rang, you looked out your window. The stars were shining brightly on the dimmed town, it was a breathtaking sight, you doubt Kuroo's seen such a sight like this as he lives in a crowded city. Maybe you should take him to the countryside side one day, yeah you take note of that.
There's things I wish I knew
There's no thing I'd keep from you
"What's up kitten?" You heard his sweet voice over the phone, "Nothing much, missing you too.." You replied, you wanted to tell so many stories about your day, how your team was doing and overall talk about stupid shit but you wanted to tell him in person. "Hey, you okay?" He asked, you didn't notice as you spaced out. "You can tell me anything you know?" He said. "Of course, I wouldn't keep anything from you," you replied. "Good,"
It's a dark and shiny place
But with you my dear
I'm safe and we're a million miles away
As hours passed by, you and Kuroo's conversation died down leaving you two in silence. "You there Y/N?" He asks, "I'm here," You answered. "I just wanted to let you know, even if we're not together physically, I hope you know you're always on my mind.." He said, "You're such a romantic," You chuckled, feeling so many butterflies right now. "Don't worry, you're on my mind as well. Way too much actually," You confessed, even if you can't see Kuroo's face you know he's smiling wide right now.
You felt safe with his presence, even if it was over a phone.
We’re lying on the moon
It’s a perfect afternoon
Today was a sunny yet cool day, your mind lingers about the date you would have with Kuroo right now, you would kill for a picnic date with him. "Y/N-san! Come in for a second!" You heard Hinata call out to you, "I'll be there!" You yelled back, looking up one last time, the clouds looked lively.
Your shadow follows me all day
Making sure that I'm
Okay and we’re a million miles away
Going inside of the gymnasium, you were surprised to see Kuroo. Your feet were running on its own as you jumped at him, you didn't know Nekoma and Karasuno had a practice match today but were you glad that they did. You felt Kuroo stumble, "Woah kitten, I missed you too," He said as he regained his balance, you buried your face into the crook of his neck.
A million miles away
A million miles felt like nothing whenever Kuroo was with you.
In light of JK’s new book, here’s a link to donate to the UK Charity Mermaids who help provide support to trans and gender diverse children and young people!
And here’s a link to the trans rights carrd and the black trans lives matter carrd!! Even if you can’t donate signing petitions can do a lot of good!
Love you all, especially my beautiful trans and non binary followers out there! Keep being the most incredible souls! 💕💖💕💖
i’m not linking the book synopsis because i hate her and i don’t want to give anyone the site traffic for her hateful decisions but jk rowling is releasing a book where a cis man dresses as a muslim woman so he can murder people and it’s so cruel and disgusting and blatantly transphobic and islamophobic and fuck jkr and fuck anyone who continues to agree with her violent bigotry or even defend her she’s pushing and monetizing false rhetoric that demonizes incredibly vulnerable groups of people who are exponentially more likely to be murdered than to murder and will do nothing but give bigots license to harm people they see as not conforming to their antiquated and damaging ideas of gender expression and religious dress fuck her so much
⇁ pairing: bokuto koutarou x gender neutral reader
⇁ genre: fluff; new relationship!AU, boyfie!bokuto
⇁ word count: ~ 781
⇁ warnings: brief mentions of anxiety
⇁ starboy week masterlist
⤷ bokuto kōtarō is a naturally excited, mostly positive and energetic person
⤷ matching his energy is a lot easier than you might think because he just makes it really, really easy for you
⤷ he‘s really attentive so he tries to behave in a way he knows won‘t make you uncomfortable or overwhelm you
⤷ especially if he‘s interested in you in a romantic way, he wants to make sure that you know that even if he is quite loud and just one hell of a dork with his friends, he doesn‘t expect you to be the exact same
⤷ when he knows you‘re rather shy and reserved, he knows to keep it down a little, but still stay true to himself
⤷ bokuto, different than some might think, just knows how to empathize with others
⤷ but that doesn‘t change the fact that he will try to cheer you up no matter what because he genuinely just wants you to be happy
⤷ most of the time, when the two of you first start dating, it‘s all giggles, sweet kisses, shy glances, soft touches and all around positive vibes
⤷ so when bokuto watches you bursting into tears for the first time about three months into your relationship – he‘s overwhelmed
⤷ he can feel his heart breaking at the way your bottom lip starts quivering and he can literally see the thick veil of tears blocking your sight more and more
⤷ it‘s not because you‘re crying, per se, but rather the reason behind those tears
⤷ he knows how hard you are on yourself but he didn‘t realize just how bad it is
⤷ getting bad results in school is something bokuto is quite used to and he never really understood people who got so upset over low grades
⤷ but when the two of you get a test back, he knows you worked particularly hard for however didn‘t manage to get the result you‘ve aimed for, bokuto finally realizes
⤷ his first instinct is to pull you into his strong arms, wordlessly letting you know that he‘s there for you
⤷ he lets you cry for a little even though it hurts him so much; the sound of your little sobs and choked our breaths breaking his heart into thousands of pieces
⤷ but bokuto knows you need this; the frustration probably overwhelmingly suffocating
⤷ he holds you, caressing your back and waiting for you to calm down
⤷ when your cries slowly start dying down and you finally lift your head up again to meet his gaze, you‘re met with the softest sparkle gleaming in the pretty color of his eyes
「”Hi, baby”, Bokuto whispers, taking your face into his big hands before he starts wiping away your tears with his thumbs. “I‘m- I‘m sorry, Tarō”, you reply, your eyes falling to the big, wet patch on his blazer only to have him shake his head in response.
“Don‘t be, my love”, he begins and places the softest kiss on your forehead, “I know you‘re frustrated, upset and mad and I hope you know that‘s absolutely understandable. You worked so, so hard, baby.”
You nod softly, your hands finding their way around his slim waist as you take in his warmth he‘s radiating.
“But you got this”, Bokuto then continues, determination evident in his handsome features as he lets his hand wander over your arms, “just because you didn‘t get the results you‘ve wanted does not mean you failed, do you hear me? You tried your best and that‘s all that matters, baby. I‘m so proud of you and I just know you‘re going to kill the next one even more.”
You feel yourself growing even more emotional, the unconditional support and love from your boyfriend shooting jolts of warmth through your chest; making it so easy for you to fall for him all over again.
“Now let‘s get you some water, snacks and annoy Konoha a bit before we head over to mine, is that alright with you, baby?”, Bokuto smiles and gives you a quick peck on the lips, easily taking the heavy feeling of failure from your chest as if it‘s the easiest thing in the world and with a soft sigh, you whisper words of gratitude against his lips and pull him into a kiss, hoping the sweet gesture can let him know all the things you can’t put into words.」
titsay
janainaart
germansingergirl
ellievsbear
discoholicmusic
dailybridgerton
gummygunk
blakekathryn
2087
