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Additional Resources
Triumph Over Shyness: Conquering Social Anxiety Disorder - book by Murray B. Stein & John R. Walker (link to excerpt)
ADAA: Social Anxiety Disorder
CMHA: Social Anxiety Disorder
36 Things You Need to Know About Anxiety
National Survey Dispels Notion that Social Phobia is the Same as Shyness
Association between Amygdala Hyperactivity to Harsh Faces and Severity of Social Anxiety in Generalized Social Phobia
Some time ago, I read an article from The Mighty called “36 Things People With Anxiety Want Their Friends to Know” and wow, did it ever stick with me. Anxiety is something we all experience. Imagine that you have a job interview or you’re going on a first date….can you feel your heart pounding, your …Continue reading36 Things You Need to Know About Anxiety
YOU’VE SPENT A LIFETIME STUCK IN SILENCE AFRAID YOU’LL SAY SOMETHING WRONG
Emeli Sandé, read all about it
summarize my life pretty well.
Me : I really need to meet some new people
Random friend : hey wanna come to a party
Me : *freaks out and hides in the fridge*
Loneliness does not come from having no people around one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.
Carl Jung
“I get sweaty, my heart races, and I want to run.”
For Friends and Family: Do’s and Don’t’s
DON’T – Ask them why they feel anxious
DO – Ask what they are feeling and challenge their negative thoughts.
Social anxiety is not a rational disorder. Just because you don’t see a situation as stressful, doesn’t mean your friend or family with social anxiety can also see it that way. Asking someone with social anxiety to think rationally about the cause of their anxiety will simply increase their anxiety, because they feel even more helpless. Instead, work with their emotions. Ask them to describe what they are feeling, and instead of dismissing their thoughts, be patient and understanding. Acknowledge their anxiety, but also challenge their negative thinking by offering alternative interpretations. Assure them that their anxiety is making them expect the worst of a situation, and the outcomes they imagined are unlikely to occur in real life.
DON’T – Guilt or blame them for their social anxiety
DO – Be understanding when they need to cancel on plans for their mental health
Social anxiety disorder can occur due to a variety of biological and psychological factors. It is certainly not anyone’s choice to have social anxiety, nor can anyone control which situations might cause them to feel socially anxious. Thus, it is important to be understanding when your friend or family member experience a bout of social anxiety. In some situations, it is helpful to reassure them that their anxiety is irrational, and encourage them to face the situation, but you should always respect their limits, and do not push them to face a situation that they do not feel prepare for. Do not place blame on them if they need to cancel your plans due to their mental health.
DON’T – Coddle them and protect them from situations that may cause anxiety
DO – Support and encourage positive behavior
Although it is understandable that you might what to protect your friend or family with social anxiety from situations that may cause them to feel anxious, the encouragement of avoidance will actually reinforce the avoidant behavior and make their anxiety worse in the long run. Instead, praise their efforts at facing their fears, even if it doesn’t go well. This will reward positive behavior and encourage their recovery.
Crisis Helplines & Support
Crisis Helplines
COAST - Crisis Outreach and Support Team (COAST) provides Halton Region residents aged 16 and over, who are experiencing a mental health crisis with immediate outreach and support. Run by the The Halton Regional Police Service.
Kids Help Phone - 24-hour, bilingual and anonymous phone counselling, web counselling and referral service for children and youth.
IMALIVE - Crisis & suicide prevention organization that offers online chat rooms with trained volunteers - no phone calls necessary!
Mental Health Support
CMHA Halton - Halton branch of the Canadian Mental Health Association, which provides information, free counseling, and peer support programs both online and in local clinics.
ROCK - Reach Out Center for Kids provides a range of mental health services and support to youth under 18 years old and their families in the Halton Region.
7cups - Online chatroom therapy with volunteer listeners.
*Note: 7cups is helpful if you just want someone to listen. However, please use one of the first two resources if you are seeking professional therapy.
Social Anxiety Mythbusters
Myth #1: Social anxiety is the same thing as shyness.
A study found that while about 50% of youth identify themselves as “shy”, only about 12% who do fit the criteria for social anxiety disorder, and some who do not self-identify as “shy” also matched the criteria for social anxiety disorder, suggesting that there is not necessarily a link between shyness and social anxiety.
The biggest difference between social anxiety and shyness is the degree in which it impacts one’s life. Social anxiety disorder is characterized by overwhelming anxiety and excessive self-consciousness in everyday social or performance situations, which can cause significant distress. While everyone could experience shyness in different situations, social anxiety is persistent, with each anxious thought pushing you to avoid facing these stressful situations again.
Myth #2: Social anxiety only appear in situations that require public speaking.
Social anxiety refers to experiencing fear and anxiety in many different social situations. These could include formal events, such as public speaking and debating, but also informal conversation, such as meeting new people or going to parties; uncomfortable situations, such as disagreements, and even everyday events, such as eating in front of others. Every person might experience social anxiety a little differently, but all share the same excruciating fear at doing or saying something wrong in each of these situations.
Myth #3: People with social anxiety can just “get over it” by suppressing their negative thoughts.
Social anxiety is caused by more than just negative thoughts. It stems from dysfunction in the amygdala, and area of the brain that controls emotions and fear. Research suggests that people with social anxiety disorder may experience intense amygdala activity during threat evaluation, which could cause stimuli such as a facial expression change or an inaudible conversation to seem like threats, thus triggering intense fear and anxiety. Since anxiety is a biological process, trying to suppress negative thoughts can often make the anxiety worse, as you tend to concentrate more on the negative thoughts the more you try to suppress them.
Myth #4: Socially anxious people should avoid all situations that might trigger their anxiety.
Though avoiding potentially stressful situations may help lessen your anxiety, this is counterproductive to recovery from social anxiety in the long run. Based on the theory of operant conditioning, avoiding situations that may trigger social anxiety to make yourself feel better will reinforce the avoidance of anxiety. Thus, this will lead to an increase in anxious thoughts and behaviors, and begin a cycle of avoidance. Avoiding risks and treating yourself as fragile can also lead you to feel even more socially distant, as well as demoralized about your recovery.
Myth #5: Medications used to treat social anxiety are addictive, and should only be used as a last resort.
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), which are the most commonly used medication for social anxiety disorder, are not at all addictive. Some anti-anxiety medication, including benzodiazepines such as Xanax or Valium, could potentially help in the short term, but you can develop increased tolerance and dependence to them after long-term use.
TED Talk by Dan Meyer, sword swallower and former competitor on America’s Got Talent, where he speaks on his experience with social anxiety disorder.
Social anxiety is not necessarily having huge panic attacks when you’re in a crowd.
It is, a lot of the time, little things that are usually easy just being complete hell on earth, like:
Crying just thinking about having to give a presentation in class
Not playing games or participating in fun activities (even with your friends) because you’re afraid you’ll be terrible at it and people will judge you
Having to rehearse your order at the restaurant a hundred times
And counting your money 10 times to make sure you have enough (even though you have plenty)
Being overly concerned about the way you look because you think people are judging you
Feeling anxious every time someone laughs because they’re definitely laughing at you oh god
Getting nervous about coming late to school because you’ll have to get in class and everyone will look at you
Crying a little when someone says you’re wrong or screams at you (especially in front of other people)
Not knowing what to talk about even with friends that have a lot of things in common with you
Feeling uncomfortable being in the front row in class or at the cinema because you think everyone is staring at you
Thinking and rehearsing for 5 minutes the simple things you’ll have to say in class (like “here” or “yes, I did my homework”)
Being afraid that the teacher will ask you something in class
Being embarrassed of something you did or said literally months ago (that probably wasn’t so bad)
Pushing people away when they show any type of interest because they’re definitely making fun of you and actually hate you
Going out of your way to avoid someone in public because you actually cannot talk to them
Biting you tongue or lips or clenching your fists or digging your nails into you leg when you’re embarrassed
Being scared of being alone with only 1 person because you don’t know what to do or say
Constantly hating yourself because you can’t do easy things like having a small conversation
Has this already been done?
Treatments for Social Anxiety
Despite the wide availability of effective treatments, fewer than 5% of people with SAD seek treatment. However, it is important to realize that SAD can be successfully and fully treated today.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) has been the most successful treatment for SAD. CBT helps to change both cognition and behaviors that are part of a mental health disorder. Many research studies have shown that, after the completion of CBT, people with SAD no longer is controlled by fear and anxiety. With the cognitive methods of CBT, people with this disorder (with the help from a therapist) aim to identify irrational beliefs ad thought patterns and replace them with more realistic views. They work on problems such as misperceptions of self, guilt, embarrassment and etc. With the behavioral methods, people with SAD are gradually exposed to anxiety-provoking situations so that over time they elicit less fear.
Medication is also commonly used in SAD treatments. However, long-term benefits of medication only happen when it is paired with structured cognitive-behavioral therapy. First choice medications are usually selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), such as Paxil or Zoloft. Although certain ant-anxiety agents and antidepressants can have a positive impact on the disorder, many research indicates that these medications don’t actually help. It is important to keep in mind that medication can only temporarily change the brain’s chemistry.
Social Anxiety 101
Social anxiety disorder (SAD), also known as social phobia, is intense anxiety or fear of being negatively judged or rejected in a social or performance environment. SAD affects about 7% of the general population. Social anxiety disorder affects about 15 million American adults and is the second most commonly diagnosed anxiety disorder. The average age of onset for this disorder is during the teenage years.
People with this disorder often avoid social situations because they may worry about being viewed as stupid, awkward or boring. When a social situation is unavoidable, they experience significant anxiety and distress both mentally and physically. Strong physical symptoms include:
Rapid heart rate
Nausea
Sweating
Full-blown panic attacks.
People with this disorder often recognize that their fear is excessive and unreasonable, but they often feel powerless against their anxiety.
This disorder has significant impact on the lives of those who suffer from it. for example, they may reject a job opportunity simply because it requires frequent social interaction with new people. They will have few or no social life due to fears of meeting their friends. Extreme symptoms can even disturb daily life, making it difficult to complete school, get a job and even have friendships and romantic relationships. People with this disorder are also at an increased risk for developing major depressive disorder.
