Here me out. Mayday Parker in Gotham. From Into the Spider-Verse. She just got a liiiiiittle lost is all.
Peter knows about the Spider-Verse. He knows about Mayday. He has absolutely not told anyone in the Batfam because he legitimately forgot.
And Mayday? Mayday knows one thing very clearly, if she finds a dad (this world’s Spider-Man), she'll be able to find her dad......or find any Spider actually, Spiders are family after all, they'll know how to call Dad!
So she’s just… wandering Gotham. But well, Gotham doesn't exist without crimes. So of course she starts helping people.
Because she is, unfortunately, her father's daughter.
And that’s how Batman ends up with an armful of a child.
He apprehends a couple of muggers, turns around, and she is just… there. Clinging to him. She had climbed him like a tree. No hesitation. And had propped herself right into his arms.
He goes, very carefully: “Who are you? Where are your parents?”
She immediately responds: “I’m lost! I’m looking for my dad!”
Mayday: “Yes! He’s a hero!”
Mayday, looking curious: “Hey, did you get bitten by a radioactive bat?”
Batman narrows his eyes suspiciously because he has heard that exact sentence before. His eye starts twitching with premonition.
On comms, the Dick and Steph are losing it. Rest of the family is highly amused.
Meanwhile Peter, somewhere else, suddenly freezes, cause he recognizes that voice in the comms.
“DO NOT MOVE,” he blurts. “I’M COMING. DO NOT MOVE—”
Batman: “You know this child?”
Peter: “YES—JUST—STAY RIGHT THERE—”
Five minutes later Spider-Man arrives, breathless.
Mayday sees him and immediately screams, “DADDY!!” and launches out of Batman’s arms straight into Peter’s.
Peter: “Oh my god oh my god are you okay how did you even—”
Batman, in the background: still holding empty air with blank eyes.
The Batfam on comms: actively crashing out.
Spider-Man has a CHILD???
Peter is too busy checking Mayday for injuries to notice the collective identity crisis happening around him.
“Where is your father?” he’s asking.
“I found you!” she replies proudly.
“That’s not— okay— but where is your other dad?”
This does not help anything. Cause everyone else has already started reaching for theories like, Teenage Pregnancy??? Custody Battle? Did the mother of the child remarry? What is even going on?
This is even more hilarious if Dick is Richard Parker. Cause he would be absolutely losing his mind. Like— took him ages to really connect with Peter. Thought they were getting close, but Peter has a child? That he never mentioned? What???
And when Peter brings her into the Batcave she immediately clocks Dick, turns to Peter and points and asks who that is. And Peter, distracted with trying to contact Peter B., just says “My Dad.”
So she starts calling Dick Grandpa and gives him an aneurysm.
This all ends with Peter B. coming to pick her up and the Batfam takes one look at him and now has a whole new bunch of theories including clones???
And before he leaves Mayday yells, “Bye grandpa! Bye great grandpa!”
And Peter B. is just so done at this point that he just looks up at them and is like, “Ohhh. Uh, bye dad 👋”
Needless to say, they all ganged up on Peter and interrogated him for hours after that.
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