A Letter to My 11-Year-Old Self
Holy shit. Oh yeah, you probably hate me now because you pretended like you hated cussing at that age. Even though you would cuss like a sailor with your best friend Taylor to sound cool. Hate to break it to you, it doesn't make you sound cool. But don't worry, you cuss like a sailor once you get into college because it becomes a part of your natural vocabulary.
Anyway, I say "holy shit" because you're not going to believe what's about to happen to you. I mean your life is NOTHING like it is now. And I don't mean the change of scenery. But gosh, the people, just everything. I can't tell you everything, because that would spoil it. But I just want to let you know, your life is pretty awesome. And I'm hoping it just gets better.
I will say this though. I know this is the age that your best friend moves away, you're "dating" because you're curious about love (believe me, haha, that one does NOT work out. He's gay, sweetheart.) and you have no idea where you belong in the world. It's okay. I wish I could hold your hand through the next....what like 7 years? Gosh, and no one knew. I'm so sorry. I know you felt alone, and hell, I still feel the same way you felt for those 7 long years sometimes. But I promise that you meet people and get reunited with people who make that go away. I promise.
You'll have your first real boyfriend your sophomore year of high school. And he's going to break your heart because you won't sleep with him. That's FANTASTIC. I'm so proud of you. You're so strong. It's going to hurt though, and you're going to see him as the "one who got away" for the next year or two, but believe me, he gets ugly and weird and you're the prettiest girl by FAR. I know you don't believe me, but just watch.
You'll continue to date guys but really not have any feelings for them. You'll just be dating them to have a boyfriend because you get along with guys better than girls and the only way to stay with the group of guys is to date one of them. It's fine, because you're going to meet your first real love and he's going to help you out in life more than you'd like to admit.
But let me back up a bit. You're going to find out that you're unapproachable. You'll never be the "favorite" out of any of your friend groups. Sweetie, it sucks, but here's why. It's not because you're not a great person. It's not because you're not pretty. It's because you're intimidating. Ha, you think I'm joking? You're smarter than ALL of them. Don't act like you don't know it. In the fifth grade you finally got invited to the "popular" girls' sleepover and they were too dumb to realize that the DVD wasn't working because there was dust on the top of it. -_- You knew, you little shit.
You're smart. You have intellect that they don't have yet. And that's okay. They know it, and that scares them. They're jealous that you already know how to look at all sides of the situation and that you can come up with a good answer to any problem in less than 5 minutes. You also have a bad habit of telling people when they're doing something stupid or wrong. But that's fine, haha you (sort of) learn how to control that. Another reason why you're intimidating is because you're quiet. You grow out of this by the time you graduate high school. But you're so quiet. Right now you're quite the observer. And I think people find you intimidating because they know you can see right through them.
Lastly, I know this takes awhile, but you get more beautiful with age. Don't worry love, you eventually grow into yourself. Ha, this is something that everyone goes through. But you see what I mean? Who wouldn't be intimidated by a girl who's quiet, smart, and beautiful?
But, really, the point of this letter is to tell you that I'm so proud of you. You never indulge in anything that you don't want. And I promise that you're NOT crazy for having a million thoughts at one time. You do learn how to harness everything. And I know it feels like no one ever listens to what you have to say, and I still don't think they do, but you are LOVED. Mom & Dad think you are the bees knees and I promise that once you graduate high school and get away from all of those losers, you're greeted by some more AWESOME losers haha. You'll find your place, I promise.
--Much love, Stetson from 10 years later.
Oh & P.S You join a sorority and for your last formal event in college you end up taking Ryan Hanvey. Yeah, your best friend's older brother who you're still too shy to say hi too. Don't worry, your words come when you get drunk on your best friend's couch. Stop choking on your coffee that Nana & Papa got you started on way too early. You damn addict.
