RPDR Season 5 RANT ABOUT ALASKA THUNDERFUCK: Why she deserves to win
As I’m watching all of Season 5 (so far) at once, I’m realizing more and more just how much I adore Alaska. My own bias aside, I need to rant about legitimate reasons why she absolutely deserves to win. Let get this shit started…
1. The Sharon Needles issue
Stop fucking comparing Alaska to Sharon, it literally only makes you look ignorant. No one sat there and told Manila that she ‘looked like Sahara’ or 'did such and such like Sahara’. Granted, Sahara sure as fuck didn’t win her season (RIP), but you know why the comparison wasn’t made? BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T HAVE THE SAME DRAG STYLE. I could not think of two people who have more different drag styles than Alaska and Sharon. Sharon Needles is fucking amazing in her own right and I am a huge fan, but I am a separate fan of Alaska for totally different reasons. There’s not a look that Alaska has put together this season that Sharon would wear, and vice versa. I think it’s absolutely UNFAIR to compare queens who are dating, they’re not fucking siamese twins and there’s no NEED or REASON for them to resemble one another. Also, to people who will say that Alaska got on the show because of Sharon…I think that’s fucked up. Over the past year, based on videos and pictures, her style has fully matured into what we see. Watching her casting tapes from Seasons 3 and 1, then seeing her work over the past year, she truly has grown into a force to be reckoned with. Then, if Alaska does win the crown, people will claim the show is fixed without watching for them damn selves. Where has Alaska used Sharon’s celebrity to pull her ahead? Where has Alaska called Sharon up and begged her to tell RuPaul to let her win? As we’ve seen, RuPaul is the sole decision maker when it comes to the crown, and once again SOMEONE’S PARTNER HAS NO BEARING ON THEIR OWN INDIVIDUAL TALENTS. Basically, if you compare the two, you’re discrediting their abilities in their own rights. Not at all trying to say that living with Sharon or being with Alaska wouldn’t be fucking awesome and influential to your career, but dang. Let each queen BE THEIR OWN DAMN QUEEN.
When this was brought into question on the show I almost wanted to rip Michele’s hair out. How can you tell the queen who has tried out FOR EVERY SEASON OF RUPAUL that they have no vulnerability? To constantly get shut down and told no, and then have your partner not only get onto the competition but WIN….and then to turn around and TRY OUT AGAIN? Dang girl, that is vulnerability to a fucking T. Alaska has literally put herself out there five times, and the fact that she was questioned for not having a heart is absurd to me.
3. She BREATHES drag race
I don’t have much to say about this, I just think it’s awesome to see a queen who is so dedicated to watching RuPaul and has taken the show as such an inspiration. When she cracks jokes about old queens, when she did the 'EWWW’ which was clearly from All-Stars…I just loved it. Maybe someone else can help me articulate this point better, because I think it’s definitely valid.
4. Save the drama for the rest of Rolaskatox
First of all, Detox and Roxxxy basically took that clique shit and beat it to death (very reminiscent of the 'Heathers’ thing…and who was least catty about it all? RAJA). Half of the episodes of Untucked are Detox and Roxxxy staring lovingly into each others eyes, and during critiques are often holding hands (see: Can I Get An Amen? ep), while Alaska is the one who mainly gets called out on it. 'NO. LOOK OUT FOR YOU’, she says, as Alaska has stated through the whole episode that she NEEDS to stand out from the pack and fight to be here. Alaska also from that moment on was over the petty clique shit, as was everyone else, and proved her maturity and ability to stand alone time and time again. In instances where there is a bunch of drama flying around, Alaska has stayed out of the brunt of it. The whole shit between Jinkx and Roxxxy is fucking ridiculous, and I will say that Detox got a bit catty there too (because she really just loves and sweats Roxxxy so damn much and it disappointed me). Even, to take a smaller and not-related-to-clique example, when the group is making fun of Alyssa for having back rolls (Untucked, ep 5)….Alaska is not amused. Jinkx, Roxxxy, and everyone else in the room is absolutely hysterical, which is fucking rude in my eyes, but I was so pleased to see Alaska not participating.
5. Top Three, never lip synced, won two challenges, and kinda owns at those silly little mini challenges
Tyra Sanchez style, baby. Alaska is finally in the top three! For her, I imagine that is a fucking amazing feeling and I’m so proud to see her make it so far. Let me say this, if there was a box that they thought Alaska was trapping herself in…as soon as it was questioned she let loose. I am continuously impressed with her abilities and her creativity. Now, the Jinkx and Roxxxy fiasco….Roxxxy is being absolutely catty and is reminding me so much of Phi Phi O'Hara it hurts (and we saw how well that worked for her…being mean ain’t cute bby). Jinkx…I love, I really do. But part of me feels like Alaska is meant for the crown this year. She isn’t as involved in this drama, and is a happy medium between the two queens. Jinkx is all about her schtick and Roxxxy is all beauty…while Alaska is this gorgeous hilarious queen, the perfect balance for this season in my eyes. She was hilarious this week in the puppet challenge (what is it with Logo and puppets? anyone?), and then turned it out with three BEAUTIFUL looks and DANCED HER BOWLEGGED ASS OFF.
This might sound crazy, like all those people who are like YOU HAVE TO WIN THE FIRST OR THIRD CHALLENGE…or ANYONE WHO’S BEEN A TEAM CAPTAIN HASN’T WON…BUT, the first episode really reminded me of two previous winners. When Raja first came in, with that little pink hat, everyone could not talk enough shit. Last season, when Sharon came in with that little witch costume (I may look spooky, but I’m really NIIIIICE), everyone jumped on her for that shit too. And what did Alaska start off the season with? That fucking horse mask (with a BEAUTIFUL gown, if I might add), and everyone was already writing her off. I also have noticed that in past seasons the winners always do very well at the snatch game…but never good enough to win (Raja as Tyra, Sharon as Michele). While I think Jinkx was beyond fantastic as Little Edie, Alaska was no doubt just as good with Lady Bunny. JUST SAYING.
7. Alaska Thunderfuck, you’re perfect.
She’s got the right amount of funny. She’s known to love big hair and long beautiful gowns (remind you of any certain host of any certain drag show?). She’s young. She has fully thought out looks. She’s not that catty bitch of the season. She’s also not afraid to be herself. She loves drag race, the competitors she’s with, and that crown so damn much. She’s perfect, and I think she deserves this crown, FOR REAL.
“I love you all so much, but…….get out of my house”
