āSo when 9-11 happened I was in high school. My dad sits everybody down. Heās like, āHasan, whatever you do, do not tell people youāre Muslim or talk about politics.ā āAlright, Dad, Iāll just hide it. This just rubs off.ā Weāre sitting there. Phone rings. I run, but my dad beats me to the phone. āHello?ā I grab the second phone. I hear a voice. āHey, you sand ******, whereās Osama?ā He looks at me. āYou can hear me, right? You fucking dune coon. Whereās Osama?ā āHey, 2631 Regatta Lane, thatās where you live, right? Iām going to fucking kill you.ā Click. And my dadās looking at me. Do you ever see your parents, and you see the mortality in them? Iām looking at my dad and I see all five-seven of him. And thatās when I realize Iām a darapok. Iām a scaredy-cat. We can speak two languages. We can speak at home and outside. I should have said something. I didnāt. We sit down. I hear āthud, thud, thudā outside. Me and Dad run outside and all the windows on the Camry are smashed in. My backpackās open. āFuck, they stole my stuff.ā I reach and I pull out my backpack. Pieces of glass get caught in my arm. Now blood is gushing down my arm, and Iām pissed, Iām fucking mad. Fuck this, man! These kids know where we live, theyāre timing this, so theyāre watching us. So Iām looking in the trees, the bushesā¦ I look back in the middle of the street, my dad is in the middle of the road sweeping glass out of the road like he works at a barbershop. āWeāve got customers. Log kya kahenge? Weāve got to clean this up.ā Zen! Brown Mr Miyagi, just, like, not saying a word. Iām like, āWhy arenāt you saying something? Iām asking you, say something!ā He looks at me and goes, āHasanā¦ These things happen, and these things will continue to happen. Thatās the price we pay for being here.ā Thatās when I was like, āWe really are from two different generations.ā BMX bikes aside. My dadās from that generation where he feels like if you come to this country, you pay the American dream tax. You endure racism, and if it doesnāt cost you your life, pay it. There you go, Uncle Sam. But for me, I was born here. So I actually have the audacity of equality. Iām like, āIām in Honors Gov, I have it right here. Life, liberty, pursuit of happiness. All men created equal.ā It says it right here, Iām equal. Iām equal. I donāt deserve this. But as soon as I say thatā¦ He looks at me like I believe in Santa. āHasan, youāll never understand.ā āIāll never understand? Dad, youāre the guy that will argue with the cashier at Costco when he doesnāt let you return used underwear. And now you want to be the bigger man? Now youāre like, āLetās be reasonable with the bigots.ā What?ā And then he just walks back into the house with glass in his feet. And I honestly donāt know who is more right. Maybe heās right. Put your head down. Be a doctor, get a house in the burbs, let them call them whatever you want. But isnāt it our job to push the needle forward little by little? Isnāt that how all this stuff happens? I donāt know. The pendulum swings back and forth for me. And I know 9/11 is a super touchy subject. I understand. Because when it happened, everyone in America felt like their country was under attack. But on that night, September 12th, it was the first night of so many nights where my familyās loyalty to this country was under attack. And it always sucks. As immigrants we always have to put on these press releases to prove our patriotism. Weāre auditioning. āWe love this country, please believe me.ā Nobody loves this country more than us.ā
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