"if you look in the face of evil, evil is gonna look right back at you"
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hello, welcome to my blog:) requests are always open. If there are smut requests, I'll write them later because I am trying to write it the way i want to write it. I write for almost every Evan Peters character! I try and get through as many of my asks as possible, but it might take a while since they're a lot. Ty for ur patience<3
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summary: The wealthy kinsley family moving into the murder house leads to: Cracks forming between family members, strange occurances in the house, and the feeling of being watched all the time.
warnings: underaged drinking, hints to stalking, some cursing
taglist: @iloveneilperry
song: rich girl by daryl hall and john oates
🎶 So far gone on your own. Well you could get along if you tried to be strong. But you'll never be strong cause you're a rich girl. And you've gone too far cause you know it don't matter anyway. You can rely on the old man's money...
October 21st 2014
It was always very clear that the west coast wasn't for you, yet here you were, stuck in LA traffic on a saturday morning. You had questioned if you had done anything horrific in your life to deserve to be here right now.
Olive was sitting next to you and was playing some Mario game on his nintendo, Frank was driving while whistling the lines of the horrible music on the radio and your mother was nervous. Usually she would touch her pearl necklace continuously in state of stress, however it was packed up in her suitcase in the back. Now she was staring blankly in front of her, biting her nails. It was a habit you inherited from her as you were plucking your own cuticles. However, instead of being nervous, you were bored out of your mind.
To try and kill time you had placed your headphones on and listened to your own music, but still, Nirvana couldn’t make time go by faster. It also didn't help that strands of hair were getting painfully stuck in your headphones and earrings every time you moved.
For hours since you left the hotel it was quiet in the car, until you heard Frank gasp. The whole ride from the hotel he had looked very neutral but now he broke the silence. “Oh my god.”
Your mom got out of her trance and turned her head, making her hat bump against the window. “What is it, honey?”
“I think I forgot to grab our charger from our hotel room,” Frank seemed visibly upset and your mom stopped biting her nails.
“It’s probably somewhere in the suitcases in the back.” She tried to reassure but Frank shook his head. “No, I remember plugging in the charger and thinking to myself I should unplug it and pack it in, but I forgot.”
"It's just a charger, honey. You got a backup charger and when we arrive at the house we'll buy another one." she was quick to come to a solution but Frank shook his head. He was always one to never forget anything. Even though you were very very wealthy and could buy millions of chargers, Frank always advocated to you and your little brother to never lose an item worth of any value. Every cent was worth something and could help. The way Frank looked at money was the way a mother would look at a newborn child.
"Fine." He murmured and you saw one of his famous frowns appear on his face whenever he was upset. He looked like a child really. Every time something like this happens he sulks in a corner and desperately tries to push the annoying feeling away for the sake of looking tough, however, deep inside he was boiling.
He gave a small smack on the side of the wheel and cursed.
“Shit.”
Before he could say anything else, your mother gave him a soft smack on the shoulder. “Don’t swear in front of Oliver. He doesn't need to hear that filth.”
Frank’s eyes widened and he said “whoops” before giving a guilty look at your mother. He quietly hoped Oliver didn’t hear it but once he turned his head to look at him, Oliver looked up from his Nintendo and gave him a cheeky smile. “Shit.”
Oliver always did the same thing Frank did. It was cute how he looked up to him. Your mother however wasn’t too fond of it.
“See? He’s starting to copy you. Next thing I know, he starts smoking and drinking as well. 1 version of you is enough.”
“Oh come on, Clarissa. A little swearing won’t hurt the world. It’ll make him tough like his sister. Right Y/n?” again, he looked at you with hope through the rear view mirror that you’ll back him up.
“No, I actually agree with mom.”
“Thank you, see Frank? I raised a well mannered daughter.”
You bit your nail and leaned your elbow against the window frame of the car while looking outside. “Yeah, I think it’s a very shitty thing to swear in front of Olive.”
“Very shit indeed.” Oliver answered.
Frank laughed out loud, his lost charger long forgotten and your mother facepalmed while closing her eyes. She rubbed her forehead as she leaned against the window and she looked visibly disappointed. You however, looked at your little brother and high fived him.
“One version of you,” your mom looked back and pointed at you “Is also enough.”
You rolled your eyes and shook your head. You then clicked on the pause button on your ipod to resume your song. Nirvana’s ‘come as you are’ was on a loop and you closed your eyes while daydreaming.
The feeling of sitting in one position for way too long made your body shiver and ache. It stung and you felt uncomfortable, but after shifting and finding a better way to sit, the vibrations managed to lull you to sleep.
Once the car came to a stop about 3 hours later, you opened your eyes.
“We’re here!” Frank said in excitement and placed a hand on your mother’s hand before exiting the vehicle. You had your ipod in hand and ‘glory box’ by Portishead was playing as you stretched your limbs.
From the moment you stepped out of the car and felt the California weather wrapped around you, you were surprised that it wasn’t that hot. Even though it was October, you expected it to feel like you were in a pit of hell. The autumn breeze however felt comfortable against your skin.
You grabbed your backpack with all the necessary stuff you needed, and grabbed your sunglasses from your pocket to shield the sunlight from your eyes. As you chewed on your bubblegum you got a view of the building in front of you.
Frank and your mom were stretching their limbs and you took a long and hard look. The building looked like it had been ripped out of a 1920s film. It was grand and had a pale reddish color. The windows were mosaic with washed out colors, but it suited the exterior well.
Frank looked in awe at the building. “Now, look at that beauty. It’s even better in person.” you cocked your head to the side and scanned the mural. “It looks…” you tried to find the right word, “Old.”
You and your best friend loved fashion styles and you were also both very interested in stylish architecture. Victorian homes were usually fascinating to you because it had so much character and history. This one in front of you however looked like one of those houses that had mold everywhere. It's probably because it had been a very long time since people lived here.
You cringed and scrunched your nose while touching your earring. "This place better have a maid."
Olive stood next to you while Frank and your mom stood behind you. Frank placed his arm around your mom’s waist and placed a hand on your shoulder. "I read online that it was built somewhere in the early 20th century." Your mom gave the boy a little squeeze of his shoulder.
“Great, so the chances are 99% that the house is haunted." you muttered and your mom gave you a sharp look.
“What was that?”
“Nothing.” You gave her a smile and when she looked away, you rolled your eyes. Frank heard what you said and rubbed your shoulder. “Of course it’s not haunted, honey. You’ve seen way too many films,” the man looked at the little boy, “It’s beautiful and detailed, right Oliver?”
Oliver didn’t respond, instead he searched for your hand and clung to it. “Is this our new home?"
“It might be,” Frank walked with Marcy to the next room and squeezed Oliver’s shoulder. “Come on little man, let’s see the inside.”
Frank, Oliver and your mother were the first ones to walk towards the door and you were left behind to gaze at the window. You swore you saw movement for a split second and your eyes lingered for a moment, but after a while of staring you saw nothing. All that met your eye was the abyss behind colored tiles.
You shrugged it off and slowly made your way to the front door. Right before you stepped foot on the porch, the door opened and a strawberry blonde woman smiled brightly.
“You must be Frank and Clarissa,” she greeted and Frank shook the woman's hand. She introduced herself as Marcy and then saw you and your brother, "And you must be Y/n and Oliver." You shook her hand and smiled, showing your bright teeth, “Pleasure to meet you.”
“Likewise,” Marcy stepped aside and let everyone in. “It’s a classic Victorian. Built around 1920 by the doctor to the stars at the time. It’s just fabulous, these are real Tiffany fixtures. And as you can see, the owners really loved this place like a child. They restored everything.”
Oliver followed them and you were still scanning the hall. The feelings you had when you walked on the creaking wood was indescribable. It looked intriguing yet menacing for some reason.
As Marcy explained some more historic facts about the building, you got bored and decided to walk around. You didn't know where to, but your feet moved before you could think. It felt like a strong gravitational pull enchanted you and took control of your legs, and your curious eyes met a lamp in the corner of the end of the hall. To the right there was nothing to meet your eyes but the walls, yet again you swore you saw movement. You frowned but shrugged it off once again. Maybe it was just the jetlag. You really did feel tired and almost choked on your bubblegum when you fell asleep.
You whipped out your phone as you walked through the hall and you sighed exaggeratedly. You were texting your best friend about the house. However you didn't have any service and you wondered if the place had wifi. No matter, even if it would send, she didn't respond right away as she was probably asleep due to the time difference. You put away your phone and looked around.
You had seen pictures before and thought everything was gonna be smaller. You knew the way people photographed houses to make it look bigger than in reality, but this house seemed to be an exception. You had to give props to that. You had great respect for honesty and integrity.
As you were checking all of the rooms on the ground floor, you were stopped by a barking sound from your right. As you followed the sound, you looked down and saw a Chi-poo looking up at you with whale eyes. It looked at you with its head cocked to the side and you crouched down. “Where did you come from, little guy?” your voice was higher pitched and you gently grabbed the collar and read the name, “Hallie.”
Your frown faded and you smiled brightly while scratching Hallie’s head. “Aren’t you a little beauty?” You whispered and you let Hallie find a comfortable spot in your arms. The moment seemed sweet and although it was, a clicking sound of heels that was heard from behind you ruined it. You could almost hear the entitlement in that sound and you let out an inaudible sigh.
“There you are,” You looked up and saw your mother standing in the doorway. “Want to see the rest of the house, sweetie?”
Clarissa leaned against the brown cabinet on the right. You put up a smile and stood up from your spot.
“Yeah I’m coming.” You grabbed the dog and cradled it in your arms.
After you saw the kitchen, you were marveled by the space of the house in its entirety. Sure everything looked old but there was no denying the house definitely had style. The kitchen island had a sink and the dark brown wood oddly complimented the black and white tiles. From the outside it definitely looked very stale and it definitely needed a paint job, but from the inside it was much more vibrant. You appreciated all the little crevices of details in each and every room and realized you shouldn't have judged too harshly on the first look.
Once you moved to another door and opened it, you saw two big shelves against the wall and a fireplace on the right.
“This could be the music room, right honey?” Frank asked your mother and she happily nodded.
Marcy looked amused, “You’re a musician?”
Frank shook his head. “No, unfortunately I’m not musically gifted, Y/n is. She plays the piano.”
"She definitely didn't get that from me, I am tone deaf." Your mother laughed and you smiled sheepishly.
Marcy gave you a smile in return and walked a bit further towards the window. “I think the piano is such a lovely instrument, I think it will look amazing here.” She pointed at the spot near the window and Frank happily continued talking. “Y/n has been dying to get a Grand Piano. We had one years ago but sold it when we moved again. We want to buy one as soon as possible for her so she can practice again.” He placed a hand on your shoulder and gave you a proud smile as he rubbed softly, “Oliver always listened whenever she played. Y/n even taught him a song or two."
“That sounds lovely, the previous owners of the house were also musically gifted. The mother played the Cello.” Marcy continued and her face fell, “Speaking about the previous owners, full disclosure requires that I tell you what happened to them.”
You let out a soft chuckle and walked forward, causing Frank's hand to let go off your shoulder. “Let me guess, they died?”
You actually meant for it to be a joke, but Marcy nodded.
“Yes they did, actually. All three of them. The dog you’re holding is Hallie. The only one left of the Harmon family. The mother died while giving birth and the daughter and the father both committed suicide. I sold them the house too. They were just the sweetest family. You never know, I guess.”
Your face fell and your mouth opened and closed a few times as your eyebrows were raised. Before you could say anything, Frank came to your rescue. “That explains why it’s half the price of every other house in the neighborhood and why it was on sale for 3 years I guess.”
You could have guessed Frank wanted the biggest house for the least amount of money. One thing he didn't forsee was there was always a catch.
"I told you it was too good to be true." you whispered to yourself. The house market was shit, and so when Frank found this house on the listings he marveled at how much money he could save and invest if you were to move in. You were very skeptical of it and had warned him that there could be a very concerning reason as to why it was this cheap.
Murders were definitely a valid reason as to why.
Marcy continued. “I do have a very nice mid-century ranch, but it’s in the valley and you’re going to get a third of the house for twice the price.”
Your mother held the arm of Frank and seemingly didn’t care about the information about the demise of the previous tenants. “The price doesn’t really matter to us. We just need a spaceious place where there is silence and peace. I get these horrible migraines that cause insomnia and my psychiatrist recommended moving to a more quiet area.”
“And you thought you would find silence in LA?” You tried but your mother ignored your comment and continued talking to Marcy. “He prescribed me pills that could help me fall asleep and stay asleep. But still, the loudness of central New Orleans was too much.”
“Don’t worry, mrs. Kinsley. Los Angeles is not all loud and noisy. This house is in the perfect neighborhood and in the perfect shape. The sounds of anything outside are drowned out by the thick walls and even then, it’s rare for it to be busy outside. The only times when the neighborhood comes alive is on holidays,” Marcy continued. “As halloween is approaching, the peak will be on october 31st, but after that you can expect everything to be quiet. Also, the neighbors don't really tend to socialise a lot from what I've heard.”
“That sounds lovely.” your mother smiled brightly and Marcy walked away to talk with Frank about the next room that was perfect for his work. You could faintly the voice of Marcy saying the man from the previous family was a psychiatrist and you found it ironic since Frank was a psychologist. What a coincidence.
As soon as she was out of your sight, you turned to your mother and removed the smile from your face. “Okay, it might be in a good neighborhood, and everything might be all quiet or whatever. But are we really gonna gloss over the fact that a family died here? I mean, what happened to the tenants before them? Are you not concerned about that?"
“The history of the house isn't that important," she shrugged, "You didn't seem to have a problem with our old house. It's even older and also a lot of things have happened there. Probably a few murders here and there. There is a ton of history on that as well." She said as if it was the most casual thing ever. Yeah sure, it's not like murder is a crime and is very bad
"Yes, but this is a house where random people died," you whisper-shouted, "Our old house was old, yes, but it's family history. Our history. I don't mind that because it's a part of us. It's part of our family."
Your mother didn't answer that and looked at the side. She was as stubborn like you and you let out a mocking laugh. "Right, I forgot family doesn't mean anything to you, it's why you got a new shitty boyfriend Frank and decided to move to the other side of the fucking country." That made her head snap back to you and you almost missed the way her head moved to Frank and Marcy, afraid that they would hear her daughter's outburst.
"Y/n, let’s not do this now. It’s not the timing.” Your mother warned with closed teeth and but before you could protest and ask when the right time was, Oliver stood in the doorway. “Mom?”
Hallie, who had a warm spot in your arms, jumped out and ran towards the younger boy. Oliver looked surprised but happily pet the dog and Clarissa smiled as if nothing happened.
“Hey honey, what do you think of the house so far?"
“It’s very big,” Hallie licked his hand and the boy smiled, “I like it.”
Clarissa nodded in agreement and glanced at Frank and Marcy for a second before facing the two of you again. “I think it’s absolutely gorgeous. Exactly what we're looking for.”
You raised your eyebrows and crossed your arms over each other.
Olive's eyes sparkled. “Does this mean that we’ll take it?”
“I think it’s perfect," she said and she gave Olive a smile. “Your opinion matters too, of course. What do you say?” You gave your mother a side eye.
“Yes!" she then turned to look at you and waited for your approval. "And you? Y/n?" her eyes stood void of emotions and you watched Frank and Marcy in the corner of your eyes and sighed. “Why are you asking me? I know you don’t care about my opinion anyways.”
“Y/n…” Clarissa smiled through her teeth and gave you a warning look again. Hallie barked at something and ran out of Olive's arms into the hallway. Olive followed the dog and you continued the conversation you had with your mom.
"What? It's literally why you forced me to come with you. Ever since Frank came we everything changed and I'm tired of it, okay? I just... I can't. Give me a break." you exhaled deeply and rubbed your forehead.
"I will have none of this at the moment,” she repeated her standard line with a calm tone, “We both know it was for the best, and you like quiet too right? There are great schools here and I'm sure you'll make loads of new friends." She didn't know she was literally proving your point right then and there. She didn't care about your opinion. She already had her own the minute she forced you to pack your things and dragged you into the car. You were tempted to open the window and yell 'Help, I'm being kidnapped' but you knew that would only worsen things. You also didn't really felt like sitting in a police bureau sulking while your mother explained the situation.
You scoffed and crossed your arms. "LA is full of stuck up people who care only about followers and fame. I never wanted this."
Your mother rolled her eyes. "Don't act like a brat, Y/n I am so over it. Tons of girls your age dream of moving to this city in a big house like this. They would do anything to be in your position right now, to have the opportunities you have. Besides there are people like that everywhere, your old friends were exactly like that. And sweetie, don't tell me you're not like them cause you are.”
Ah, the old classic "you can't feel sad because you have it better than majority of the people on this shitty planet".
You were starting to boil.
“Just because you’re not a fan of them doesn’t mean they’re immediately conceited.” you tried to keep your voice low to avoid Olive hearing the conversation if he were to lurk somewhere nearby. He had witnessed a few outbursts a few times before and you didn't want Olive to see that as an example of good behavior.
Before the conversation truly went downhill, Marcy and Frank walked back into the room and you turned around to smile again as if nothing happened. Your mother did the same and now you realized the older you got, the more you looked like your mother.
Frank gave Clarissa a kiss on the cheek before he looked at you and asked the same question. “So, Y/n. What do you say?”
It was quiet for a few seconds before you realized that there was absolutely no way of going home anytime soon. You gave Frank one last look before giving Marcy a grin, hoping she wouldn’t notice your twitching eye.
“Does this place come with the dog?”
After Clarissa and Frank signed some papers and discussed the next plans with Marcy, it was already night time. Most of the moving boxes were in the living room and you were currently in your new bedroom. You didn't want to speak with anyone today and so you sulked while sitting on your bed.
The room wasn't all too bad, it was way smaller and darker than your previous room but oddly enough you didn't really mind. Plus, the door had a lock so that was very convenient for you. It took a little while to get the key but after a thorough search you found it lying in a cabinet.
You locked the door, closed the blinds and made sure no one could peek. You were tired from everything and you were in desperate need of some distraction. A bottle of vodka was hidden somewhere deep in one of the boxes as well as a can of cola, and you mixed the two drinks.
"At least I still have alcohol and a designer handbag." You muttered and as you sat on the chair in front of the mirror at your desk, you took a swig of the liquid.
“The blinds are see through, anyone standing in the yard can see what you're doing.”
You spat out the remaining drink and turned around to see a young, blonde man stand near the door. He had his hands in his pockets and simply blinked at you.
“What the-” you wiped the remains from your mouth. “Who are you? How did you get in here?” You saw that the door behind him was open, and you were visibly confused. You thought you locked your door.
“Also, the lock is old, you should double turn the key for it to work.”
Before you could say anything else, he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.
Your eyebrows were frowned and you turned around one more time to blink at the door. Once you looked back at the mirror, you saw the spatters of vodka mixed with cola painted the glass and rubbed your eyes.
What the fuck?
You stood up from your place after a few seconds and walked to your door. To test out what he said you locked the door while twisting the key once. As you pushed the door, it opened and you did the same thing again, this time you turned the key twice.
You pushed the door and it didn’t budge.
Who the fuck was he and how did he get into your house? Was he one of the movers who helped with the boxes from the truck? No that can't be possible, you scanned everyone's faces as they moved in and out, but everyone was middle aged.
So perhaps he was one of Frank's clients? You didn't really know anything about his job but it seemed very logical that clients first had to book an appointment before showing up.
Even though you were kind of freaked out, you didn't alarm anyone. Maybe that was a dumb decision, but you really didn't feel like walking downstairs to see the smug face of Frank and your mother, especially after everything that happened today.
If he was a thief, you hoped he'd steal Frank's backup charger.
If you thought the situation with the blonde boy was weird, what happened after was a lot weirder.
It was about an hour later and you had a bathroom break. You could still walk in a straight line and only felt a bit buzzed. Trying to avoid the living room where Frank and your mother were seated, you walked into the kitchen and grabbed an apple from the tray.
Walking back upstairs, you accidentally dropped the apple and cursed. However, as it rolled into the hallway, you were startled to see the apple roll back to you as though it hit an invisible wall in the middle. You grabbed your forehead, crouching down and taking the apple in your hand. How was that possible?
Looking around once or twice to see anything out of the ordinary, you struggled to clear your thoughts. Eventually you blamed it on the alcohol. Although a feeling deep inside told you that it wasn't that. You knew you weren't drunk enough to imagine this.
You didn't make a big deal out of it mainly because you always scared yourself by thinking the most random creepy things. Walking to the bathroom at night; what if someone is standing behind the corner? Sitting on the couch; what if someone's hand suddenly snatches you into a shadow realm? Every thought was so random. You did it to yourself and you didn't want to scare yourself again.
You blinked once or twice before returning your trek upstairs.
Walking through the hall to find the right door back to your room, you struggled. Having a big house meant there were more rooms, which meant that it would take a while longer to get used to finding your way. Your old house was the same, maybe even bigger. It was the perfect place for hide and seek. You could hide in a closet in one of the many rooms and it would take hours or maybe days to find you.
As you finally found your bedroom, you stopped in your tracks. You heard noise behind the door, and when you opened it, you frowned. You saw that someone unplugged your headphones from your ipod on your bed and had played a song by Daryl Hall and John Oates.
So far gone on your own. Well you could get along if you tried to be strong. But you'll never be strong cause you're a rich girl. And you've gone too far cause you know it don't matter anyway. You can rely on the old man's money...
You paused the device and walked out of your room.
“Olive!”
“Yes?”
You opened the door to his room and saw he was still on his nintendo. He didn’t look up when you stood in the doorway with your arms crossed. “You can’t just go into my room and do that shit. We need some boundaries, I value privacy."
Oliver looked up from his nintendo and looked confused. “I didn’t go into your room?”
“Very funny Olive.” Oliver had pulled pranks on you before and so you weren't buying it. "First of all, don't call me Olive, I'm a person not food, and second of all, I never stepped foot off my bed since I jumped on it. That was like an hour ago."
You were very skeptical and crossed your arms.
“You’re lying.”
“I’m not, I swear!”
You narrowed your eyes before deciding to drop the subject. You didn't want to argue, especially knowing you would get a lecture from Frank about family positivity.
“Whatever.”
You walked back and looked at your ipod once again and rubbed your eyes, cursing because you wore mascara. Trying not to cry because everything frustrated you, you fell ontop of your bed and groaned in your pillow, smudging mascara on the sheets. You just simply didn't care anymore.
These were very interesting first days of your new house. Nothing really seemed to work in your favor, you hated this city, you missed everyone back at home, everything seemed to be out of the ordinary, and you didn't know if the constant feeling of being watched was because of the new house, or if it was just you being paranoid.
No matter, every feeling you held wasn't gonna last long. Because as soon as you would turn 18, you would pack your bags and leave this place. Ever since Frank came into the picture you had everything planned out. All you had to do was wait a couple of weeks and survive the constant bickering of your family members, Frank, and the weirdness of the house. You just have to hold on a little longer.
This is going to be challenging, but surviving for a bit longer can't be that hard... Right?
i finished watching bodies on netflix and karl weissman reminds me so much of james march??? both murders and the same aesthetic + they kinda look alike
summary: After the demise of the Harmons, the picture perfect socialite Kinsley family moves into the Murder House. A blonde ghost boy with a dimpled grin immediately grew a dislike for the eldest daughter, until he discovers a disturbing secret that could stain the Kinsley family forever.
warnings: smut, underaged drinking, drugs, attempted sexual assault, violence, hints to sexual abuse, abusive relationship. (all the AHS warnings basically, DON'T read if any of these make u uncomfortable)
a/n: I have been planning this for months so wooo.
a/n: a little preview of a request i got that was absolutely brilliant. The creativity is honestly insane with everyone who requests stories. The enemies to lovers arc? im in love (you know who you are)
also im getting through requests very slow but I try to make them about 10k+ words😭.
summary: when the infamous Bloodyface enters the doors of Briarcliff Manor, a mysterious girl becomes infatuated with the idea of making the institution a living hell for him.
warnings: none in the preview
There was something about the fall weather that made you forget time. You would sit by the big window in the corner of the common room that shielded you from the restless eyes, and you would listen as the rain tapped softly against the window. Your hand would cling to the thick bars that covered the invisible wall, and the sounds of the water clashing against the glass drowned out every sound around you. Except for the song that continuously played on a loop in the background. God, if it was possible to shoot a song, you’d shoot Dominique.
In the earlier days when your mind wasn't fogged, you’d question what the song was really about, since you couldn't speak French. However after the third time of hearing it you lost all interest. Dominique could kiss a rat's ass for all you care.
Speaking of rats, Spivey was released from solitary and was now sitting in the chair next to the piano. He was one piece of trash that actually deserved to be here. The first day you arrived and settled in, he kept staring at you. He had been really interested in you and he kept repeating that you were young and pretty. When you revealed to him that you were 18 though, he seemed uninterested and left you alone.
Your knees were pressed against your chest and you held a cigarette between your fingers delicately as you brought it up to your lips. The smoke you inhaled actually cleared up a lot in your head.
Sometimes when Doris or Pepper would cause a scene in the common room you’d turn around and watch as everything unfolded. But after years, you already knew their every move. The people in here never knew what you were up to as you were a wild card, yet you knew everything about everyone. You had always been a watcher, just analyzing people and watching everything unfold, only stepping in when necessary.
You heard the door of the common room open and your gaze moved from the window to a man who stood cluelessly in the center. He looked bewildered around him and tried to take everything in, and you looked him up and down. He was a young man you’d seen in the newspapers ever since the shit he got exposed for; Bloodyface. For days you’d seen his face and for weeks you’ve heard his name slip from other patients. Hell, even orderlies seemed to fawn over him and his crimes. You were sure even James Dean wouldn't be talked about this much.
Shelly was the first person to introduce herself to him in a way only Shelly could. She would walk up to a new patient and try to seduce them with her long blonde hair and pretty face. Today, however, was the day sister Jude cut off her hair and her magic didn't work. You didn’t know if it didn't work because of her hair or if it was the patient who just wasn’t interested.
Bloodyface shoved her off him and scowled at her before sauntering further into the room.
Shelly roamed the room while chanting ‘he’s mine’ like she had done a couple of times before and you couldn't help but roll your eyes. Luckily she didn't bother you since you were still out of sight.
You took a glance at Bloodyface again and squinted your eyes. After reading about him for so long, you had grown a distaste for him, however as you saw him in real life, you didn’t know what you felt. He was a handsome man who looked to be in his mid to late twenties and his lost puppy dog gaze seemed to cast a spell on you. However you knew from experience to never judge based on faces.
You remembered judging your neighbor Jimmy when he first moved in. He was looking rough and very angry all the time. He had scars on his face and a frown 24/7 that made him look intimidating. However at a neighbor convention he told you he had been a war veteran in world war 1 being 19 and he fought in world war 2, being 47 years of age. He didn’t have to sign up for war the second time, but he did it because he wanted to make the world better. He had seen the true horrors of the world and it was evident in his face to this day that he never truly recovered from that. He only wanted to serve his country and do what was right. He wouldn’t hurt a fly, yet all the kids were afraid of him. That was when you truly realized to never judge a book by its cover.
The moment Bloodyface spun in circles like a lost puppy you decided to leave your hiding spot and walk a bit closer to the center. You weren’t sure what your plan was, but you couldn’t stand watching him be confused any longer.
When he placed his hands on his ears to drown out the song, he moved towards the record player to turn it off and you intervened.
“Wouldn't do that if I were you.” You spoke as you leaned against the wall while placing the cigarette between your lips. The man turned to look at you and you gave him a grin, “It’s a rule here. As long as the common room is open the song plays.” he stared blankly at you and you sighed.
“Any one of them would rat you out if they had the chance, they get a piece of candy and you get your ass beat,” he still looked at you as if you were speaking a different language, “Trust me, I learned the hard way when I first arrived here.”
He finally spoke up. “Why should I trust you?”
“You shouldn’t trust me. You shouldn’t trust anyone. I’m just looking out for you.”
The silence except for the chanting of Denise in the corner and the song still on a loop, was deafening and so the conversation between you and Bloodyface made a lot of people turn heads. One of those people was Spivey, the little shit.
“Hey Bloodyface,” Both Bloodyface’s head and yours looked for the source of sound and you saw Spivey walk towards you. “You’re him right? You must be the most dangerous person here. I heard you skinned them alive, the last one being a colored girl. I guess you didn't like her color.” He taunted and you saw Bloodyface’s face contort into pure anger. Before you knew it, they were at each other's throats like animals and all the attention from the other patients were now fully focussed on the two wrestlers on the ground.
Pepper stood next to you as your arms were crossed and she had a worried look on her face. You knew what would happen if a fight were to break out in the common room. Jude would barge in, welts would be given, yada yada yada. Your eyes were downcast while you took another puff of your cigarette and when a whistle was heard, everyone ran to their previous spots to show they weren't involved.
You walked back to your hiding spot as well and saw sister Jude strut into the room with two orderlies behind her. They were Owen and Dennis. You almost missed the way Owen scanned the room until his eyes met Shelly. Your eyes squinted the tiniest bit in suspicion.
Bloodyface had a bloody face and pointed at Spivey. “He started it.”
Owen and Dennis ignored it and Owen smacked Bloodyface with his baton. You winced just slightly and saw how his body was dragged out of the common room.
An hour later, Kit Walker was put in a straitjacket and he felt uncomfortable as suddenly everything itched. His eyes were burning, his head was pounding due to the whack from one of the orderlies and his mind was fogged as everything felt surreal.
Sister Jude let him off with a warning since it was his first day but said that the next time she wouldn't go easy on him. A gentle gesture at best.
The only source of light went dark as it indicated someone stood in front of his cell, and as he looked up he saw you standing there. “Hey, I got something for you.”
He stood up and squinted his eyes as he walked over to the door. “How did you get back here?”
He saw you pause. “Doesn’t matter.”
Kit didn't question it and he saw you duck and slide something under the door. Although he couldn’t grab it with his hands, he saw it was a newspaper. “Boredom is your only friend in these cells they call ‘chambers’. Figured I’d get you something to read to kill time.”
Kit looked at your features and tried to spot any sign of falseness since he wasn’t used to people actually talking to him like he was a normal human being. He tried to find out whether your intentions were true or if you had ulterior motives. He couldn't remember the last time someone did something nice for him let alone have a decent conversation. “Why are you being so kind to me?”
He saw your eyes soften yet harden at the same time. “What you put out into the world comes back to you.”
“So what did you put out into the world to get locked up in a place like this?”
“A lot of questions…” Your eyebrows raised and you indicated that you didn't know his name.
“Kit.” He saw you hum.
“That’s a question that will be answered with time, Kit. It doesn't concern you for now.” Kit nodded understandingly and realized it might have been an inappropriate question.
“So, you want to tell me how you got in here? Spivey said something about you being the infamous Bloody face.”
“Why should I give you an answer when you won’t give me one?” It came out harsher than he wanted and he wanted to apologize.
“Careful now, Kit. I’m not someone you like to have as an enemy here.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m not insane. I don’t belong here.”
“Yet you’re here for a reason.” Kit leaned in a bit closer, “Why?”
You clenched your jaw shut and looked down at your feet. He sure was dedicated on finding answers. You weren’t gonna tell him the truth, however you were gonna simplify it.
“Bad people pulled on strings and convinced everyone I was crazy. All I could do was tell them the truth but I didn’t stand a chance against socialites. I was taken from my home involuntarily and I’m most likely set to spend the rest of my life here, only because I made a stupid mistake.”
Kit nodded quietly and scraped his throat. He noticed the silence after you answered and he wanted to let you know you weren’t alone.
Now that you have answered it was his turn. “To answer your question, they think I’m him. They think I’m Bloodyface.” He couldn't read your emotions due to the lighting and because he was too tired and drained to focus. “Ah, the celebrity. I’m almost jealous of your fame. You’ve become a household name here. I didn’t recognize who you were when I saw you.” you lied. You knew who he was the second he stepped foot in this place. “So, are you? Did you?”
“What?”
“Are you actually bloody face? Did you kill those women, your wife?”
“No. And I’m not crazy.” He was quick to answer and your head cocked to the side.
“Hmm.” you kissed the back of your teeth, again. Kit didn’t know what was going through your mind. “Interesting.”
A voice was heard in the distance and your head snapped to the side. “Well I should go before they notice I’m missing.”
“Thanks for the paper, I really appreciate it.” He gave you a genuine smile.
“No problem.”
Before Kit could blink, you were gone and he got closer to the barns to whisper-shout.
“Hey, what’s your name?” His ear was pressed against the hard and cold metal, and he could faintly hear a voice whisper back.
“Y/n.”
Kit felt a shiver of warmth over his body by the newspaper you’ve given him. He really appreciated that you were nice to him since he was terrified of this place. He had nightmares in his cell about it and when he was finally handed out to the institution he knew he would never see his garden again or the lake next to it. Just the thought of someone doing something kind to him like he was normal and the thought he wasn’t alone made him feel a bit more relaxed.
However what he didn’t know was that you indeed had ulterior motives. You were gonna make this place live up to the reputation Briarcliff had;hell on earth. Starting with a newspaper.
The next day you were all in the common room again. It was still raining and you decided to sit on something soft this time. Although your hiding spot was very comfortable, you did feel the hardness of the stone having an effect on your ass and back posture. You found a place on the sofa next to Otis who was picking his nose and you tried your best to ignore it. You cringed and looked the other way until he stood up to dance with Doris. Pepper wanted to dance too but they rebuffed her. You felt bad for her.
Footsteps were heard as the door opened and Kit walked into the room. From a distance you could tell he had a bruise on his hand, a black eye and a bandage on his cheek from the brawl yesterday. His eyes scanned everyone until they landed on you and he made his way to you and sat down on the spot where Otis was sitting.
“Hey,” he started and you gave him a nod in return. “Jude go easy on you?”
“Yeah,” you noticed how he winced when he sat down. “She says that the next time I mess up she’s not gonna be nice.”
“Typical Jude.” you replied and both of you watched how Pepper kept chanting “Pepper dance” to the odd couple in the center. You looked to your right to see Kit’s mouth slightly opened as he gawked at the trio. You could practically hear his thoughts and sighed.
“Yes.”
Kit looked up at you and scrunched his eyebrows. “The answer is yes. They’re always like that, better get used to it.”
“How did you know I was thinking that?”
“It’s not hard to read people.”
It was like his eyes bore a hole into your side profile. “Anyway, most of the people here are harmless. They’re kinda weird, but harmless. There are a few people you need to watch out for.”
“Like Spivey?”
“Yeah Spivey is an example, always tryna look for trouble and sticking his nose in the business of other people. He is the definition of a scumbag.”
“Who else do I need to look out for?” His eyebrows were still scrunched like he was confused all the time and you scanned the room and pointed at a woman in the corner. “That’s Harriet. She’s been here the longest. No one gets a word out of her. Rumor goes that she stared down the barrel of a gun more times than she ever spoke.”
The woman looked like she was in her mid sixties and she looked mummified as she stared into the void. As if she knew her name was called out even in the softest tone of your voice, she suddenly looked at the two of you and you both immediately diverted your gaze elsewhere.
“Oops, better not to say her name here.” You stared at the table in front of you.
“What about you? Where do you stand in all of these people.”
You were baffled how Kit never backed down on asking questions. “You Kit,” you placed your hand on his thigh for a split second, Kit almost missed it but the feeling made his eyebrows frown. You retracted your hand quickly and pretended nothing happened. “You just remember to never cross with me. Most of these people leave me alone because they have that printed in their system.”
There had to be a reason why people respected you here. Kit didn’t know why exactly.
He nodded at that and didn’t question it further. You stared at his legs and sighed. “Sister Jude really did go easy on you, huh?”
“What?”
“Well it’s either that or you have a very high pain tolerance. The first time I wreaked havoc in this place, I couldn’t sit for a week. She said she went easy on me but even talking about it now I still feel the welts engraved.” You chuckled and Kit didn’t know whether to chuckle too or keep quiet. Instead he decided to ask another question.
“Is sister Jude always so…” He tried to find the right word.
“On edge? No. She’s always strutting around the place like she owns it,” you paused. “Well technically she does kinda own it with the Monsignor. Anyway, she’s only upset when someone has broken the rules. Why ask?”
“She looked very distressed this morning when we spoke during kitchen detail.” You kissed the back of your teeth.
“Seems like your arrival has caused quite a bit of trouble, Kit. If it’s the second day Jude is frantic, it’s not a good sign.”
There was silence between you two and if it weren’t for the known fact he was a malicious serial killer, you would have actually thought he was a decent man. Very humble and not very present in the best way possible. You liked quiet people. They made your chaotic mind at ease. It made you feel calm and that was something you craved. Being in an asylum, one of the worst places was the common room because of the filth and chaotic people. You actually quite liked solitary in your own small room because at least there no one was chanting. Oh and the walls were thick enough to keep anything out, like the song Dominique.
Kit broke the silence after a few minutes. “Hey Y/n.”
“Hmm?”
“The paper you gave me, it’s not from recent dates. It’s from 1949. The front page is about a missing girl.” You didn’t look him in the eye and instead continued staring at the table.
You tried to find a quick lie. Luckily you were used to it and you were sharp as always. “Oh… yeah that’s because we don’t really get the news often and because of that, we have very limited papers. I stole it for you from the archives.”
Kit frowned but seemed satisfied with that answer nevertheless.
Heels were heard and Doris and Otis stopped dancing as the noise was a clear sign Jude was coming. They hurried to the side where the dusty piano was standing and stared everywhere and nowhere. Jude walked in from around the corner and locked the door behind her, causing her to get the attention of everyone. Everything became quiet except for the dramatic taps of sister Jude’s boots.
“When I was given the task of running this institution, the Monsignor and I had great plans. We would not only house and feed the people who had nowhere else to go, thrown on the streets like trash, we’d heal them from the horrors this world could give. Even if they were the horror itself.” She slowly walked further and scanned everyone. “I have had faith and patience for everyone. And how do you repay me? With disappointment. Somebody had the audacity to break into my office and steal… something valuable. Now I demand the person who did this to confess this instant.”
No one said anything out of fear, and because no one knew what she was talking about.
“Confess!” Her voice sounded shrill as the sound bounced off the walls.
Kit slowly raised his hand and you quirked an eyebrow. “What was stolen, sister Jude?”
Jude’s jaw was clenched as the question was asked and she turned to look at Kit. “That doesn’t concern you Mr Walker. The person who did it knows what I’m referring to.”
Kit became quiet and you almost admired him for speaking while Jude was angry.
Her eyes diverted from Kit to you and she almost shot fireballs out of her eyes from how angry they stood. She pointed an accusing finger at you.
“Don’t think I’m not onto you, miss Y/n. Always slithering around, playing games with people. You think you’re so clever. I know that look you’re giving me. You know more than you let on…”
You didn’t answer her and had a stoic look on your face. When she realized she wasn’t getting anything from you, she walked further to accuse other people. When Jude was at the end of the room, Kit leaned in and whispered in your ear.
“You’re tellin me she’s really not always like that?”
“Most of the time not. I haven't seen her this upset in a while.”
He nodded at that and his eyes wandered cluelessly back to sister Jude. Your eyes diverted from Jude in the distance to Kit’s side profile. You watched as his nose flared for a second before coughing and you looked down. You had to remind yourself that he was a bad person. That he killed women who had a bright future ahead of them. That any of those women in their position could have been you. You could have been one of the women who was locked in his basement after being skinned and assaulted. That thought made your blood boil and you decided then and there it was all worth it what you had planned.
Kit got startled the moment you stood up from your place and coughed loudly to announce something. Jude turned around and saw it was you.
“When I came back from kitchen detail, I came across Kit,” you didn’t look at him and instead, you made puppy eyes as you sobbed. “He had some sort of news paper in his hand and in his other hand was a key. We made eye contact and I told him that I didn’t see anything and ran off. Just thinking back about the cold and harsh look he gave me makes me shiver,” You could feel Kit’s burning eyes on you as you continued to speak yet you paid no attention to it. Jude walked closer as she digested your words.
“I wonder what he could have done if I didn't run away. Just now he threatened that if I told on him he would tell on me. He said that no one would believe me.” Jude looked at one of the orderlies at the side and pointed a finger at him.
“Owen, did you not lock his chamber after he was in my office? This is the third time you forgot to lock someone's room.”
Before Owen could say anything, she looked back at Kit. “Look at you. if Y/n’s right you’re not only a murderer. You’re a murderous pickpocket. I knew you were trouble when you walked in.”
Kit tried to protest. “I- I- she’s lying,” he looked at you not in anger but in betrayal. The only person who spoke to him like a normal human being turned out to be a rat. You were the person he had to look out for. Beatings from an honorless man like Spivey was nothing compared to the knife in his back from you. Maybe he grew attached too quickly but it still hurt.
He should have known better than to digest the kind words and actions of a woman, after he was accused of being a malicious serial killer.
“Search him.” Jude commanded and Kit wanted to stand up to try and run away out of instinct, but he then realized the doors were locked. There was nowhere to go.
“Thinking of running away now, are ya? A man with a clean conscience has no desire to flee.”
One of the orderlies with the name tag Dennis held him and the other one called Owen searched his pockets. “I didn’t steal anythi-”
Before he could finish his sentence, Owen fisted a small object out of his pocket and Kit was flabbergasted to say the least. He figured you must have planted them there when you had touched his thigh. You were quick with it but he had felt it. He already had a weird feeling as to why you did that but now he realized why.
In Owen’s fingers was a ring with a key dangling from it. If Kit seemed flabbergasted before then now he looked as if he witnessed an exorcism.
This was the first time you looked at Kit and didn’t feel remorse. If he is upset by the betrayal of a person he met not even 24 hours ago, then he doesn't know what those poor women went through. What he did to them is a thousand fold worse than what you just did. You wanted him to suffer here, because he gets a chance at life and not the girls he killed.
“Search his chamber.” Jude ordered and Owen held him locked in his grip as the other orderly walked out of the room to presumably Kit’s room.
Jude eyed Kit viciously and you knew Jude was angry once she found the newspaper. You knew what Jude was looking for, hence why you stole it, you just didn’t know why it upset her that much.
Ever since sister Mary Eunice had acted strangely out of nowhere, papers kept showing up about one subject. It was always the same, always the same date and always the same news. A paper from 1949 about a missing girl on the front. Every time you caught Jude throwing it in the trash, you reckoned it was something important. Something that was bothering her immensely. However you truly realized how much it bothered her when you saw Jude burn it in one of the ovens.
You had fisted one of the papers out of the trash and put it in your pillow. It wasn’t like your bed got cleaned so no one would blink an eye. It helped that the pillow was as hard as rocks.
Like you said, you were a watcher. Always analyzing everyone to see their weaknesses and use it against them if need be. Knowledge was power to you.
Jude came back with nothing yet her angry look was even more angry yet stoic at the same time, and you knew she found the paper you had given Kit. It was obvious she wasn’t gonna take it with her to the common room for everyone to see her little secret.
She looked at you as she stood in front of Kit. “You keep surprising me, miss Y/n.”
She then looked at Kit and curled her finger to motion him forward. “Kit Walker, come with me.”
Kit looked defenseless as he gave in. He realized he couldn't protest because of the strong grip of the orderly and so everyone in the common room watched as he was taken away. It wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling to him, as he felt the same eyes and the feeling of dread the day he was arrested in his home. His neighbors had heard the commotion of the cops and saw how Kit had been handcuffed and taken into custody in the middle of the night after he himself called the police. It didn’t matter whether he pleaded or tried to convince everyone it wasn’t him, because no one listened. No one wanted to listen and no one believed him.
This time it was nothing different. The only thing that was different was the backstabbing feeling and the handcuffs.
You were right when you had told him not to trust anyone, yet he did. And now he was paying the price.
He turned his head one more time as the orderlies grip were too tight, and he locked eyes with you. You had a stoic look on your face, no ounce of remorse or happiness. You just looked satisfied. His head turned back in defeat and he turned the corner.
After the punishment he was given, he truly realized why people were afraid of sister Jude. He truly digested the gravity of the situation and he now knew to never mess with you.
You were right when you said he wouldn’t want you as an enemy.
Heyy! Sorry if the question is too weird, but I read you saying someone your last fic As It Was w/ Kit was requested, and it kinda feels to me like it was mine ??? LOL 💀
So, just so I can shake the doubt off, do you still have the request or remember at least what did it say or what was it about somehow? LOL I CAN'T STOP FEELING LIKE IT WAS MINE SEND HELP PLS
helloooo, it was a request from a while ago and then another request that was similar. I started writing this but didn't know how to continue it (plus it was already way too long), and then i decided to head a different direction otherwise it would have been 10k+ words, but the picture below is where it started. I still want to finish this request but i need to get more of an idea and outline it:)
a/n: This was one of my drafts that I finally managed to finish after like 6 months. Anyway its long as hell and I reread and revised it like 100 times. Send help
word count: 8298💀
summary: The relationship of you and Kit is put to the test when Kit is framed for the Bloodyface murders. Once he is let out from hell on earth, you two try and mend what's broken and reminiscence about the last night everything was still normal.
warnings: none really
3 months ago
“Something smells good mrs. Walker. I’m starvin’.” Kit closed the door and placed his car keys on the counter. You were standing near the dining table with your back towards the door, and as your head turned, you saw him remove his jacket.
“I made your favorite, lasagna.” his face lit up and he smiled as he walked towards you in your one story house.
“I made it with extra cheese, just how you like it.”
“You know me so well,”
He stood behind you and you felt his breath on your neck as his arms snaked around your waist, making you shiver and sigh. You have known him for a long time, but every time he touched you felt like the first time. His hands then moved to your shoulders and he massaged them while planting kisses in your neck.
“You look absolutely gorgeous,” he hummed as he wrapped his arms around you and leaned his head on your shoulder “Are you on the menu?”
“Nope.”
“Well that's too bad. Can’t I have you as first course?” his voice was low and his fingertips left trails of circles on your arm as he continued to trail kisses on your exposed neck. He had tried it many times before when he came back from work. He would tease you and before you knew it a small peck on the cheek turned into a make out session on the table. A little while after, your feet would inevitably dance to the bedroom.
There were multiple times where you had tried to resist, but Kit Walker was simply irresistible. This time however, you succeeded and you turned around to face him while holding his hands. “I thought you were starving, what about the food?”
He gave a cheeky smile while downcasting his gaze to your lips. “That’s not what I’m hungry for.”
You weren’t falling for his trap. You weren’t falling for his dark, half lidded and sultry eyes. You weren’t falling for his low sexy voice. You weren’t falling for his pink lips and sexy, tousled, golden brown hai-
Focus!
You had to get your mind out of the gutter and be strong.
“But the lasagna is gonna get cold.” his fingers danced on the skin of your arms, but he didn’t go further. “So we better make it quick.” He waited for your approval to go further.
Why did he have to make this so hard?
As he leaned down to kiss you, his lips barely grazed yours before you gently pushed his chest. His lips were pouted as he stared at you. “Mr Walker,” your voice became serious as you raised an eyebrow and crossed your arms “First lasagna.”
“First lasagna.” he repeated and you smiled at that. He pulled the stool for you to sit down. It was something he always did, a small but sweet gesture.
When he took the first bite, he moaned and closed his eyes. “Everytime you make lasagna it gets tastier and tastier. It’s pure heaven.”
You took a bite of your own and your lips curled as you watched him. “So how was work?”
He went quiet for a second. “It was alright, the same as any other night. It was busy though.” He left out the part where Billy and his friends scared the crap out of him by stealing Al’s gun from the safe. Kit knew you weren't too fond of them. They were nothing but pure trouble. They were always trying to drag Kit along with them and clearly they didn’t understand or see the discomfort he projected.
Billy had also tried several times in the past to make advances towards you and Kit knew that you were uncomfortable. Even at the gas station he made a remark about giving you a visit when Kit was at work, and when Kit got mad, Billy said he couldn’t take a joke.
Just the thought of it made his blood boil.
“What about you? How was your day?”
You set down your fork and chewed the last bit of lasagna. “I cleaned the house, I did some reading in the garden, got some groceries for tomorrow and I watched My fair lady. I believe the name of the actress was Audrey Hepburn, I read an article about her. Lovely actress," you paused, “Oh and I fixed the shower.”
Kit looked up from his food and swallowed the piece of lasagna in his mouth. “Really? That's great.” Tonight, Kit was supposed to look at the shower which seemed to be defective, but you had spare time and decided to see for yourself. Turns out you were quite a handy woman.
“How did you fix it?”
“I tightened the loose pipes and the noise suddenly just stopped. It took me a while to figure out, but I had enough spare time.”
"Wow-" Before he could say anything else, you continued.
“-I also got the wine stain from your shirt.”
Kit smiled brightly at hearing what you did today and he felt proud that he was able to say that you were his girl. Not a lot of husbands can tell to their colleagues that their wife fixed the shower. He placed his hand on yours from across the table and drew light circles on your knuckles -something he always tended to do.
“What would I do without you.”
The corners of your mouth curled upwards at the sight of your husband’s excitement.
“Without me, you’d probably come home to an empty and quiet house after work,” you shrugged “Or to another woman’s arms.”
He grimaced at that and shook his head. “The thought of that makes me want to vomit.”
“Not over the food, please.”
He mimicked vomiting over the lasagna and you swatted his arm lightly as you gasped melodramatically. “Kitson Henry Walker, are you insulting my cooking?”
“Oh I wouldn't dare.”
“Good, because I don't take insults lightly.” You crossed your arms and tried to act serious, but Kit saw right through you and chuckled.
“Sure you do.”
You let out another playful gasp and sat back in your chair. “Excuse me? Without me you wouldn't get the privilege to taste the best food in Massachusetts.”
“Well luckily I don’t have to worry about a world without you.”
“You’re right. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me for a long time.”
“Dang it, that reeeaally sucks.” his lips were in a thin line and you couldn't help but break character and laugh. Shortly after, Kit joined in and together you ate the last bits of your lasagna.
As you looked at him while he ate your food, you felt like you were in a trance.
Your sister had told you once that you two were made for each other because you two shared the same interests, had the same humor, and basically were each other's equal. She had said it was almost creepy how perfectly you two were together.
However when you and Kit announced your engagement, your sister had told you how she had experienced her past marriage.
After being mrs. Walker for two weeks, she came over from California and had said that once the newlyweds phase was over, the relationship would falter quickly until it’s a repetitive bunch of torture until you both perish. She said nothing good lasts forever, and once everything feels perfect, something happens that breaks everything down.
She had promised you that a day would come where the passion that once burned like a forest fire, would quickly become smoke to ash.
You refused to believe it and you were right to do so. You were in a relationship for 5 years with Kit, having met when you were both 18 when Kit's friends introduced you to each other at Benny's barn. Ever since you made it official, the passion between the two of you had never once faltered. Not even a tiny bit.
You believed that nothing wrong could happen, and that even if something small happened, you’d still love him unconditionally. This man could do literally anything and you’d still love him. Him just breathing made you swoon. You were still as much in love with him as the day you first saw him.
When you both finished your food, you stood up to do the dishes. You always wanted to finish something immediately so you could have time to relax, but as your feet moved to the kitchen, Kit stopped you.
“Wait.” He stood up and walked to the door. You couldn't exactly see what he was doing as you tried to peek over his shoulder, but you heard the clear sound of a paper bag.
“I got you something.” You now noticed the paper bag in his hands and your heart melted. “Oh Kit, you shou-”
“-Before you decline my gift because your heart's way too good and you feel bad because you feel like you owe me, I saw this in the store in town and immediately thought of you. I had to buy it for you.”
“To what do I owe this?”
“Well, I came home just now and the most amazing woman to ever grace the earth made my favorite meal, plus she looks and smells amazing. I just couldn't find a better moment.” Your heart melted.
“My beautiful girl deserves everythin’.”
Your cheeks almost hurt from how wide your smile was. “I already got my everything in front of me.”
To that, he pressed his lips against yours and sighed heavenly before handing you the paper bag. You gave him a knowing look as he stared down on you in anticipation, and you opened it. When you saw the object in it, your eyes went big and you squealed in excitement.
“Oh my god, Kit. Is this what I think it is?” You had a sealed vinyl in your hand and Kit nodded happily as he took in your reaction.
It was a popular song that had just been released and was your favorite to sing along when it came on the radio. Kit had noticed how your face lit up and how you upped the volume every time you heard it in the car and so he decided to save up on the side to get it on a vinyl for you.
You immediately hugged him tightly before moving towards the phonograph and placing the vinyl in the holder. As the music filled the room, you swayed your head to the rhythm and walked back to Kit. “Thank you, I love it!”
He smiled widely and grabbed your hand as you spun around in the living room to the music. Kit sang along as he pointed a finger at you.
“Pretty woman, walking down the street. Pretty woman, the kind I’d like to meet. Pretty woman, I don’t believe you, you’re not the truth. No one could look as good as you.”
You had danced and twirled for a while, the dishes long forgotten, and the ends of your dress lifted as you twirled and twirled. Together you swayed to the rhythm and sang along.
As the song came to an end, Kit placed another vinyl that you got for him a few months ago for his birthday. Together you slowly danced to ‘At last’ by Etta James, and when you closed your eyes as you held on tight to him, you felt like nothing could tear you two apart.
Your cheek was pressed against his chest while his chin rested atop your head, and his hand was on your back whilst his other hand was tangled with yours. The music was soft, the black sky outside was contrasting with the lights, and the cold you felt just an hour ago when you were alone had been long forgotten the moment his eyes met yours from across the room.
You felt his heartbeat hammer at a rapid pace and when you looked up at him, you saw he was already smiling down at you. “Hi.” You whispered and he chuckled, the sound vibrating through your entire body.
“Hello gorgeous.” His eyes darted from your piercing eyes to your lips and he admired every detail of your face. At that moment he wondered how he was the one to end up with you. How he was the one to dance with you at this very moment. He didn't know how he got so lucky, but he was relishing and enjoying every second.
Oh how he wished he could stop time to stay like this forever.
You had noticed his eyes scanning you and you tried to find a reason as to why he was doing that. Before you could ask though, he already gave an answer.
“You are so beautiful.”
Your faces were close, but far away enough to see every detail. You could see the look of adoration and as you scanned his eyes, you couldn't find a sliver of doubt or falseness to his statement. The only thing noticeable was his expression that changed to a sly smirk as he leaned a bit down to whisper in your ear. “And hot.”
“I’m beautiful and hot?” You raised an eyebrow suggestively.
“Mhm,” he leaned back and again, traced light circles on your lower back. “I don’t know if I want to tear off your pretty dress right now or take you to the finest restaurant in town. Perhaps both.”
“Is that a promise, Mr Walker?”
He simply stared into your soul and leaned down to try and kiss you. However, you placed a finger on his chest and had a smirk on your face, making his brows furrow in confusion.
“I’m sorry to inform you but I bought this dress just last week. Can't have you ruin it.”
"I'll do more than just ruin your dress." He concealed it as a joke but he was serious. You snorted and looked at you feet. "No but in all seriousness, I’ll buy you a new one.”
“As tempting as it sounds, I’d rather just shimmy out of it. We could go to a restaurant tomorrow though.”
He chuckled and put away a loose hair that fell in front of your face. “Orrrr, we could go to a restaurant every night so you never have to cook again.” You could hear the sarcasm in his voice and your lips were in a thin line as you stopped dancing.
“Kit.”
“Yes.”
“Are you insulting my cooking, again?”
“I wouldn't dare, miss. You make the best food in the entirety of Massachusetts.” He recited the words and you had a satisfying and proud smile.
“That’s what I like to hear.”
He grabbed your hand and twirled you around, and as the song in the background came to the bridge, you went back to just slowly swaying to the music.
“By the way, I think you’re beautiful too.”
“I’m beautiful?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever been called beautiful.” he mused as he recalled the hundred times you have called him handsome in his head.
“Now you have.”
He leaned down and kissed your forehead before you pressed your cheek against his chest again, his hand cradling your head. As your head was faced to the side, you saw the newspaper you read this afternoon lay on the little table next to the chair.
“Oh by the way, I saw in the paper that tomorrow there will be shooting stars visible for us. Shall we go to the barn and watch em?”
“I’d love too,” He smiled, but then remembered that the barn was 30 minutes away if you took the fastest route. Taking the fastest route also meant that you had to walk by Billy’s house. It made Kit remind him that he had to get rid of Billy and his obnoxious friends.
“What's wrong?” You saw the creases in his forehead as he frowned. It looked like he was thinking hard about something.
Kit contemplated whether or not to say it to you, but he figured you should know what was happening. “Billy showed up again.”
Your eyes immediately widened “Kit-”
“-I know what you’re thinking, but calling the cops isn't gonna help. They're just gonna brush it off like last time. Billy and his group haven't committed a crime."
You let out deep sigh and bit the inner sides of you cheek. Kit held your hands and again, rubbed soothing circles. "Maybe it's time I confront them."
Your head snapped up to meet his eyes. "What? No, that's dangerous you know how Billy is. He is as violent as he is stupid and he doesn't know what 2+2 is. 'Talking' to him is equivalent to a fist fight."
"Perhaps you're right, but I know Billy since high school. He wouldn't go that far," He didn't sound that sure of himself "The sooner they are out of our lives, the less worry we have on our plates. I know Billy works at his father's 5 and 10 store. I can pay him a visit after my own shift at the gasstation." He saw that you weren't buying it. "You hate confrontation as much as I do." You answered and Kit sighed.
"Billy is the ringleader, once I talk to him all the others will go away as well. They can’t keep bothering us, it has to stop. Clearly ignoring them isn't gonna help.” You continued to stare at him blankly before you looked away. You didn't like the idea one bit. However, Kit knew Billy and you didn't. Perhaps Kit was actually right.
"Baby," Kit placed his finger on your chin and made you look at him again. "It makes me feel like I can't protect my own family."
You had a gnawing feeling in your gut. You didn't want to see him get hurt, but you knew he was capable of handling the situation by himself. You hated that the police were useless in this situation and so you cursed softly. “Okay, fine, but I will kick him so hard if Billy or another one of his loser friends lay a finger on you.”
“Y/n-”
“No Kit, I don’t want anything happening to you, I don’t want to ever see you get hurt. You’re too valuable to me.”
Kit knew that arguing wouldn't progress the conversation so he nodded.
“Okay.” You were happy that Kit agreed, however just the thought of something going wrong and Kit getting bruised or worse clouded your mind. You didn’t notice it but your eyes were downcast on your feet and Kit placed a finger under your chin to lift your head up. “Hey, we’re still going to watch the stars tomorrow at the barn, I promise.”
His thumb brushed over your cheek and you held his wrists. “I better see you in one piece tomorrow unscathed, otherwise I’ll go to the barn myself.” You weren't actually gonna go to the barn on your own, especially at night. You just knew this was a way to make Kit extra careful. You knew he would never let you go in the dark alone.
Just like you had predicted, Kit’s face fell into worry.
“Y/n, promise me you won’t go to the barn on your own.” He almost pleaded.
One time when he was held back at work and returned home at 2 am on a winter night. He nearly lost his shit when he saw there was a note on the fridge. It said you went to the barn to watch the stars, and you would be back at 1, however you were nowhere to be seen. Turned out you fell asleep on the hay, and Kit was so worried something had happened to you he nearly fainted.
“Alright,” you said and Kit felt like a but was coming “I won't go to the barn myself, as long as you promise me you’ll get home in one piece. No bruises or anything else.”
He knew he couldn't promise that. He knew the way billy’s mind worked. He was unpredictable and so he knew there could be a chance Billy would try and punch him. But there was also a chance that he would actually listen. It was a 50-50 chance.
Kit wanted to promise you that he wouldn't get hurt, but he just knew that he couldn't. He had always been honest with you about everything. He wasn’t gonna lie today.
“I promise I’ll try to avoid a fight.” He pledged and even though it wasn't the answer you wanted, you knew that it was all he could promise for now.
“Then I won’t go to the barn by myself.”
He grabbed your shoulders firm but delicately. “Y/n,” he said in a very serious tone. “Promise you'll wait for me, okay? Promise.”
You nodded. "I'll wait for you” Kit seemed partly satisfied with the answer.
“Promise?”
“I’ll always wait for you. I promise." You solemnly swore.
Somehow it felt like he wasn't talking about the barn anymore.
“Speaking about promises…” You tried and you had a mischievous grin plastered on your face and you leaned closer as your hands were on his chest. Kit seemed to know what you were implying and chuckled whilst looking down at your lips. However when your mouth opened, he heard something different than what he expected to hear.
“Remember 3 years into our relationship you promised we’d get a barn on our own one day so we wouldn't have to walk that far to Benny’s barn? What about we start with that idea? In the next couple of weeks? Maybe we can get some animals. Maybe a dog or something.”
“That sounds like a lovely plan.” He leaned down and kissed you. “We’ll make that promise happen soon.”
“Alrighty.” You smiled.
Both Kit and you were still standing in the middle of the living room with the music still playing, and you just held him tight and hoped the song wouldn't end.
Kit was again, close to your ear and whispered again. It wasn’t like there was anyone around you and he was afraid they would hear, he just felt like it was intimate. “When you brought up the promise thing I actually thought you meant the other promise I made”
You decided to act dumb. “Mhm, I don’t know what promise you’re talking about.”
His hands moved to your hips and he had a tight but delicate grip. “I’ll make you remember.”
Before you could say anything, he cupped your cheek with his palms and pressed his lips against yours. Once he pushed you against the table, your hands moved under his shirt on his abdomen and you felt him tense and inhale deeply as your fingers trailed south. His hands were on your waist, and he encouraged you to jump so he could lift you up the table and stand between your legs.
As your hands moved to the back of his head, you gave a tug, earning a soft moan and you smiled amidst the kiss.
Kit wanted to stay in moments like these forever. Moments where he forgot that he was on earth. Because his lips against yours felt like a grace of heaven that only you could provide him.
However what he didn’t know was that this would be the last day where everything was like this; normal. Because just moments after you and him redressed yourselves while still feeling the aftermath of euphoria, his whole life was about to change.
He wasn’t going to see you again, for a very, very long time.
present time
Kit stared at what looked like a black pit in the tiny cell he stayed in. The lights were out, his back was turned towards the door and his only company was a mosquito flying somewhere near him and the yelling from other patients who were next door.
He felt like he was in an infinite loop of mental and physical torture. The longer he was here, the less sane he started to feel.
He tried to get a grasp on something stable, but nothing seemed to help him remember the good days. The only clear thing he remembered like it was yesterday, was the last day where everything felt normal. He replayed those moments over and over again whenever he was locked up in his small windowless room inside Briarcliff. He had closed his eyes and pictured your features whilst facing the gray concrete.
He remembered kissing your cheek before heading off to work. He remembered singing and dancing to there goes my baby in the gas station. He remembered the douchebag guy who threw his money on the ground before Kit’s feet. He remembered how Billy and his friends stopped by and asked him to jump a guy who messed with Randy’s little sister. He remembered how they grabbed the gun from Al's safe.
He remembered when he came home whistling the first thing he saw was your pretty dress, your red painted lips and the way your hair was perfectly styled. He remembered he couldn't take his gaze off of your eyes and how he fell in love with you every time he saw you.
He remembered dancing with you to the song he gifted you, and he remembered making love to you and the pretty sounds you made as you both longed for each other.
He remembered walking to the living room in the middle of the night to grab a glass of water when he saw a bright light from outside. He remembered running into your shared bedroom only to find you sound asleep and he remembered grabbing his shotgun and seeing something that could only exist in a sci-fi film.
He remembered the last look of pure horror on your face as he got dragged into a police car.
He remembered you.
But as the lonely nights passed and time seemed forgotten, he slipped away. He still remembered parts, but it often felt like your features were slipping from his mind. He was afraid that a day would come where he wouldn't be able to memorize what you looked like. He was afraid that a day would come where your voice was merely a whisper in his mind. He knew that if that day came, he was a gone man. Because the only thing that kept him going, the only thing that truly kept him on his feet was the thought that he might see you again. Even though he knew the chances were slim, as long as you were out there, he kept faith.
Deep down he knew that the love you bore for him didn't just evaporate the moment the police stood at the door. He knew that if the role was reversed, he’d wait for you. He was certain that he would wait forever without a second thought. The only thing he was uncertain about was if you thought the same.
Guess he was about to find out when his cell suddenly opened and light hit the room like rain falls and crashes from the sky.
The door made a cringe sound as it hit the concrete, and Kit turned his head only to be blinded by the light. He saw a man walk in and he tried to blink the black spots in his vision away as he identified the intruder.
“Sign here, and here.” With no explanation given, Kit raised an eyebrow and once he saw clearly, he recognized the orderly as Owen, the prick who beat him on one of the first days when Kit was lost in the massive building. Kit also recalled Owen punching him when another patient attacked him.
Owen looked dead inside.
“What for?” Kit had asked.
“Your release papers, they’re letting you out Kit.” Owen had the most casual tone as if he just explained what he had for breakfast, and Kit couldn’t help but frown as he reluctantly grabbed the form.
“Thredson, they caught him? Lana gave them the tape?”
“Yeah, and she did one better. She blew his head off. It’s all over the papers. Reporters are hanging off the rafters, trying to sniff out the corruption at Briarcliff. That’s why you’re suddenly a free man.”
Kit wasn’t fond of Owen, and he couldn’t help but clench his jaw despite the news he just gave.
Owen threw a package on the small and thin mattress they called a ‘bed’ and crossed his arms. “Clothes from the Salvation Army, they should fit you. Just leave what you’re wearing on the bed.” Kit stared long and hard at Owen to see if he could find any hint of a joke, but strangely Kit found none. Lana had actually done it. She had exposed Thredson and freed Kit from living a long life of repetitive horror and possibly the electric chair.
Kit was handed a pen and he signed the papers, a look of confusion mixed with shock still painted on his face. He was still comprehending what had just happened. After god knows how long in Briarcliff, suddenly he was just a free man. With one sign on a paper he was allowed to leave. It felt surreal.
As he stood up, it felt like the gravity of the situation finally reached his mind. He was going to see you again.
He was actually going to see you again after all these months, perhaps years for all he knew, and he didn't know how to feel about it. 50% just wanted to crawl into your arms and stay there for the rest of his life, but the other 50% was scared that you didn't want anything to do with him anymore. He was afraid you had moved on and forgotten about him.
The reality was something entirely different though. At the same time when Kit signed the release papers, you were sitting in the chair where you usually read the paper or a book. A cigarette was between your lips and there were dark circles under your eyes as you stared at the blank wall.
Smoking made you a lot calmer.
Calm was something that you needed since everything in the house reminded you of Kit. The piano in the corner reminded you of him playing several songs for you to cheer you up when you were sick or sad. The large space in the living room reminded you of the countless times you had slowly danced to the most romantic songs. Hell, even the small hole in the wall reminded you of the time where you pinched Kit in the side after he had tickled you mercilessly. The little hole in the wall was created when the little stone in Kit’s wedding ring bumped into it.
The song Kit had gifted you on the last day everything was still normal, was playing in the background and you couldn’t help but go back in time to the last night you saw him. Almost every day you thought about it. Oh how you wished you could reverse time.
“Pretty woman, don’t walk away. Hey, okay. If that’s the way it must be, okay. I guess I’ll go home, it’s late. There’ll be tomorrow night, wait, what do I see? Is she walking back to me? Yeah she’s walking back to me. Oh, pretty woman.”
You sang along softly, the lyrics tattooed in your brain from replaying it over and over again the last couple of months.
As you leaned back in the chair, you wondered what you were doing with your life. Your husband was in an insane asylum, waiting to be labeled insane or sane. The former would make him a prisoner forever and the latter would make him a prisoner in the afterlife. You could do nothing to have an impact on the horrible outcomes. All you could do was wait in agony.
You tried to keep that thought in the back of your mind, and you sat there for what felt like hours. As you were ready to fall asleep due to the sleep deprivation, you heard keys jingle from outside.
You thought it was just in your head, but as the door creaked open, you suddenly became alert. The shotgun was next to the chair you were sitting in, and in a swift move you snatched it and whipped it at the person at the door.
When you saw his face however, your heart stopped. You dropped the item to the ground.
There he stood, in an outfit you didn’t recognize, wearing a face you did recognize. He had an expression that read multiple emotions, and you felt like everything around you was surreal. He had a melancholic smile and the dark circles under his eyes indicated that he was tired. His golden brown hair was longer than it was when he left, and the sparkle in his eyes didn't hold the same mischievous glimmer. he had before
Every object in your house that fascinated you before didn't matter anymore. All that mattered now was him. All you saw was him, and it took only a few seconds to render what was truly happening.
You ran towards him and let out a cry of joy. You almost tackled him to the ground and held his body tightly against yours as you buried your face in his neck. His arms wrapped around your frame.
Kit would be afraid to crush your body in his arms, were he not weak at the moment. He had to relish the feeling of your body warmth, the way you smelled, the way your body fit perfectly in his arms. He had fantasized every night of just holding you. And now that he’s finally got that fantasy, he couldn't let go. He had to know that you were real.
He was afraid that if he would close his eyes or let go, that you would be gone. No, he wanted to see every inch of you, feel every part of you that indicated that you were actually there.
When you took a second to look at his face, your already broken heart doubled its broken pieces and you let out a sob.
“What have they done to you?” you let out in a whisper as Kit had teary eyes.
“Your face,” you gasped and your thumb ran across his bottom lip where a small slit was visible, however that wasn't the only gash you spotted. “What have they done to you, baby?”
At this point you were crying. All these months of worry broke you, and even after having him in your arms again, it felt like you didn't have him back. You wanted to be happy with him. You wanted to show him how much you had missed him, you wanted to show him how much you loved him.
The silence that overtook the room as your mind processed everything was was long gone when everything became clear.
You pressed your forehead against his and Kit trembled. “It’s not me.” he whispered and you knitted your eyebrows together.
“I know, baby. I know it’s not you. I have always known you were innocent.” Kit felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and at that moment he just broke.
He held you tighter and sobbed in your neck as your shirt was getting stained by his tears. He was glass and your words had shattered him. Every doubt he had about you not believing him was all a lie he made up in his head.
He wanted to hold himself together, but all the exhaustion and pain was overwhelming and he just couldn’t bear it anymore.
“You waited.” he breathed.
“I promised, didn’t I?”
You had never seen him this vulnerable before. Yes, he had moments where he needed you just like you needed him, but it had never been this much before.
He looked like he had died and had been resurrected. He looked like a zombie, yet you couldn't help but smile through the tears when you noticed his familiar grin slowly appear on his face as he stared at you.
His smile was like glue that fixed your broken state in a second. Just the familiarity of his features that reminded you of his past self. It gave you the sense of normalcy you usually felt when he came home after a long day of work, kissing your cheek and eating the meal you made him with passion.
Pretty woman was still playing somewhere in the background and after what felt like hours of standing there, you took Kit to the bathroom to clean him up.
There were no words said. In truth, no words in the encyclopedia were right at the moment.
You had both slipped out of your clothing and had stood under the shower for a long time, letting the water shower all your bad thoughts away. You noticed he had cuts on his arms, and you kissed every single one of them.
Once you got to the bedroom Kit scanned around. He never thought he would be in this room ever again. He never thought he would be with you again. He finally realized that he was actually home. He was safe.
As much as he wanted to stay awake and talk to you about everything he missed, as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was out.
You were at his side and whispered softly as you stroke your hand over his cheek. His face expressed calmness, and you wished whatever he dreamed about was something graceful. “In this world, it’s just us. It’s not the same as it was. But it’s you and me darling. It’ll always be you and me.” You knew it will never be the same as it used to be. But as long as you had each other, things will be alright.
Your love could fight anything.
-
It had been a few days since he had arrived at your doorstep and you felt numb. Yes, you were beyond grateful that you had Kit back, but he just wasn’t the same. You knew that, but you still hoped that Kit would open up to you. He did answer your questions when you were curious, however you didn’t want to push it. You didn't want to pry because you didn’t want to evoke memories of that place when he just found the comfort of home. But you just wished that he could share the pain with you so he wouldn't have the feeling of being alone.
“Dinner is ready.” you said and you placed two plates on the dining table. Kit was on the couch and he walked over to you. “I made your favorite, lasagna.”
Kit smiled and he took a seat at the table. As much as Kit wanted to act like nothing happened, you could see that he was a lot more quiet than ever. He tried to hold himself together for you every second he spent with you, but you saw through him.
Kit didn't say anything as he took a bite, and you watched him as he continued eating at a rapid pace. He closed his eyes while moaning, and quietness overtook the room once again.
To break the silence, you put down your fork. “I made it with extra cheese, just how you like it.”
“You know me so well.”
He continued eating and swallowed every bit of food that was left on the plate. You simply watched him as you took small bites yourself.
Once you both were done eating, you felt like now was the right time to show him your gift. You had wanted to show him since the moment you saw him but you hadn't really found a good moment.
“I have something for you.” Kit looked at you with curious eyes.
“Really?” he was intrigued.
“Come.” You stood up and grabbed Kit’s hand, leading him to the door that led to the backyard. As you opened the door and walked outside, it was already starting to get dark. The trees and grass were softly lit by the moonlight and when you walked the path down the little creek, you stopped.
Right in front of you was a barn. It was placed on the flat ground in your backyard, and you heard Kit let out a small gasp.
“To make new memories in.” You eyed Kit’s gaze and it looked like he was mesmerized.
“Y/n… it looks amazing.”
You yourself were also still looking in amazement every time you saw the creation. “Caleb and Janet helped me. I’ve been going to the barn myself every to watch the stars. I just lay on the hay or the roof and think about all the things I'm thankful for.” You grabbed his hand and stood in front of him as you let out a deep sigh.
“I want you to know that I’ve never given up on you, on us. I know that what you’ve gone through was horrible, but know that I love you. I love everything about you. And I know that it’ll take a while to be fully comfortable in our home again, but we have all the time in the world to heal. I will wait until you’re ready and together we'll get through this.” Kit’s gaze diverted from the barn to your face and after a while he gently laid his hands on your cheek. Your hand moved to his wrist to hold him and you sighed longingly when you instantly felt warm when his skin touched yours. His touch was like the sun shining brightly in the February sky.
“I wouldn’t have survived without you.” he suddenly started and his thumb brushed the skin under your eye. “You were the only thing that's worth fighting for. If I didn’t have you, I would have given up," he paused for a moment before staring into the darkness behind you. It looked as if that evoked something in him, and you could see him clench his jaw.
"The past few days everything feels safe when I'm with you. You're my anchor, you're my hope. Every time I have you in my arms it feels like everything is going to be alright. At day everything is fine, but at night it feels like the darkness swallows me whole," Kit had to gather himself to speak further "In my dreams I’m back at that place, I'm in a long hallway and I see you on the other side. I call out for you, I reach for you and you look at me like you can't see me. I'm running and running towards you to try and reach you, but as it feels like I'm getting close, I get pulled back and you slip away. It's a never ending cycle and no matter what I do, no matter how hard I run, you're fading and getting further and further away.” You gave his hand a small squeeze for support.
He indeed had nightmares the last couple of days. Well, actually that isn't the right term to describe it. He had night terrors. Sometimes he screamed himself awake at night, looking confused around him as he expected to still be in Briarcliff as he was held down. In reality, you were calming him down by holding him your arms and telling him it was alright, that he didn't have to be afraid anymore. He would gradually calm down when he placed his head on your chest and would eventually fall asleep to your soft and sweet whispers.
"I'm here, baby. I'm not going anywhere." You moved closer to him and held his hand. His touch made his gaze divert from the black abyss towards you. Your sweet eyes pulled him back, your touch made him feel like he wasn't alone again.
You could never understand what he had gone through. You could never understand the levels of pain he had to endure, the feeling of drowning in an endless well of despair. But you were willing to listen and console. You were willing to do anything to never make him feel like that again.
“It’s over,” you whispered. “It’s time to heal. It’s time to let go.”
“I don't know if I can.”
“That’s okay,” you went through Kit’s hair and planted a kiss on his cheek. “We take little steps, it might take a while, but we have forever in the future. As long as you have me, you don't have to suffer alone.”
He was like a vase that had broken into thousands of pieces. Shattered beyond repair. It felt like his mind was decaying from the torture he endured.
"The things they did to me, the things they did to the others-"
“-You don't have to share that chapter with me yet if you're not ready."
He was silent before he whispered. “I want to.”
He cleared his throat and after a few minutes of gathering his thoughts, he started talking while the moonlight shone on his face.
You listened to every single word he said, and when you had said you couldn't imagine the things he’d gone through, you were far from reality. What Kit described was so morbid that your hand flew to your mouth as you gasped multiple times during his storytelling.
He had explained everything from the beginning to the end. It honestly felt like fiction, but it was a real American horror story.
You felt tears escape your eyes once again when Kit started to describe in detail what he knew. From the missing patients who were being experimented on, to doctor Thredson who was in fact the real Bloody face who carved those poor girls.
Kit's voice faltered and he couldn't seem to speak about it more.
“Give your pain to me. You hang onto me, like your life depends on it. I will help you heal again.”
He let out a soft sob to that and slowly nodded.
"I knew that if the day came where I would be the one to give into the mercy of death, the last thing I'd see before I'd leave this world would be you dancing and twirling carelessly to our song. I would have been ready to die, knowing that my last thought would be you. That's why the last night I saw you kept replaying in my mind. Everyday and everynight. "
When he mentioned that night, you got a melancholic feeling. It was the last time you two had no worries in your mind. The last time where you truly frlt like everything was normal. The only thing that felt horrible at the time was the thought of Kit confronting Billy and the thought of Kit ripping your dress.
"We made a lot of promises that night, but we never got to watch the shooting stars." You smiled at the memory and laughed genuinely for what seemed like the first time in a long time.
"We can now."
You looked at him with curious eyes. "What?"
Kit gave an answer by grabbing your hand and leading you to the barn. Once you were inside, Kit looked around him and the dim lights that looked romantic. You had put them there because you had almost fallen from the stairs due to the bad sight.
You both walked to the stairs that led to the second floor. Once you were there, there was a big, open window where you two could climb out of to get to the roof.
"You built this? with little help?" He stared at you in amazement.
"What can I say, I'm quite a handy woman."
Kit smiled at how passionate and determined you were at everything. "I won the lottery of a woman."
You hid your blush by climbing out the window and placed your foot on the sturdy ledge, pushing all your weight onto your leg and grabbing a hold onto the roof. Once you safely laid on the diagonal plattform, you encouraged Kit to come as well.
You watched as Kit maneuvred on the ledge and as soon as his back his the roof, he panted a bit before he looked to his side, his eyes focussed on your side profile.
He struggled a bit due to the unfamiliarity of the structure, "If I fell to death when I literally survived the hells of Briarcliff, I would have been so pissed as a ghost."
You let out a snort that was followed by a laugh. There it was, there was the sign of Kit Walker actually coming back. That was the Kit who always made the best out of a shitty situation, the Kit who charmed you from the moment you met him at Benny's barn 6 years ago. The Kit who would do anything to protect his family. The Kit who you fell in love with 6 years ago.
Kit had joined laughing with you and you placed your head on his chest, feeling the vibrations of his chuckles through your body. Kit had always said that your laugh was contagious. Whenever you would laugh, Kit would automatically join you.
It was cheesy, and it felt like you were two teenagers in love again.
After your laughter died, you looked at the sky with a grin on your face. You were genuinely happy to be with him like this again.
"Y/n," Kit suddenly began "Can I ask you something?"
"Mhm?" You were looking at the tiny glimmers in the sky that were called stars.
“Had Billy bothered you when I was gone?” You looked at him when he mentioned the name you hadn't heard in months, and you thought about the last time you saw Billy, which was once in the pharmacy just 2 weeks after Kit was gone.
“No. He thinks I’m crazy for defending my husband who had been admitted to an insane asylum. He glared at me once when I walked into the pharmacy, but he didn't dare talk to me or come close to me. Him and his gang will leave us alone from now on, I'm sure of it.”
Kit hummed at that, and together you looked back at the sky again. That was one less problem to deal with. Kit found it comical that one big problem solved smaller problems.
There wasn't a single cloud in your view, and you held Kit's hand as you watched infinity amount of stars. After about 10 minutes, you both jerked your hands and pointed at the same thing in the sky. A shooting star!" You exclaimed and you were excited. The first and last time you saw a shooting star was the day you first met Kit. The entire group was getting stoned in the barn whilst you and Kit were on the roof. You were holding a competition who could count the most shooting stars. It had been sort of a thing between the two of you. Once in a while on date night you would just stargaze.
"Now we can both make a wish."
You closed your eyes and after a few seconds, you had made your wish.
"What did you wish for?" Kit asked, and you contemplated whether or not to tell him. After several seconds of worry that the wish won't come true if you were to tell him, you decided that that rule was bullshit.
"Kit."
"Yeah?"
"Remember all the promises we made the last time we saw each other?"
"Yeah."
"Every promise was held, except for one. My wish is that the last promise we made becomes reality as well."
"What is it?"
Your cheeks hurt from smiling and Kit saw a glimmer in your eyes.
i have been reading salvation and to be honest, i had a big concept in my head that i didnt finish. I also feel like its complicated. Now i know that most of the people who read the first chaoters probably wont read the next, but i have the next three chapters in drafts. I just want to finish the story because im not giving up
guysss i wasnt able to get onto my account because i had some problems with tumblr... after many tries, frustration and after i almost punched my wall multiple times, i finally got in!
im dead dear not stupid @stilespeters - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
