🫠

whoops kinda back again. crying emoji. Eren/Mace, 25, tw + for everything if matters?

[zu-art]

Remember when I drew Eremin?? Good times.

I still am very fond of them, they're just dormant. You know how it is

[kirsa-rt]

EMA 💫💕

November 27, 2024

[stillwooozy]

Sorry about the wait on getting you into the server. The mods were keeping you in kinnie server purgatory cause your account was brand new, and they thought it looked suspicious. But I let them know you were real once i saw you trying to enter. I'll give you space, but I'm glad you're there. - H

oh that sounds about right

i don’t really know how to talk to u anymore but that is on me

not that i really know how to talk to anyone ever frankly

but ill stop being pathetic for now

i didnt know it was you. well had a feeling but denial is nice. i think i was glad to see it was you. i’m not totally sure

you do have a very strong right to hate me

but that wouldve been easier for me i think

I dont think planning on being active so if that is not allowed I can be kicked.

[stillwooozy]

ugh im not really eren, i’m really mace - but i happened to just remember living eren’s life in 1st person sooo 🙄🙄🙄

i cant even get into rational arguments FOR fiction kin cuz nothing is rational for me.

& its objectively not true. right?

its bizarre. ik the rational is = ptsd & mental illness & Cope. that doesnt change internal experience.

“but u didnt remember anything before watching aot” well Bud I was 12 yrs old, already moderately psycho & consumer of psychedelics, I remembered & felt a lot of shit that wasnt based in reality. And the years since then… I repress this part of me like no one else - but a few slip ups, triggers, or just bad week - & suddenly something wrong is bubbling 2 surface.

anyways just saying mental illness feels so belittling and condescending cuz its always there repressed or not.

idk what IT is but -

its as real as anything else is real :(

[oldsardens]

Ludwig Heinrich Jungnickel - Collie

[stillwooozy]

i still miss u

[stillwooozy]

no the problem is i have a pathological relationship with music & i should never be allowed to own headphones or i am sent into psychosis & my iq halves cuz im overrun by every emotion known to man ever

and i much to prefer to feel nothing at all times. ugh i probably just need a med adjustment cuz this is Not Right

[stillwooozy]

like ive grown up but im back right where i started y do it be like that :(

[stillwooozy]

why am i so socially stunted omg

[stillwooozy]

I hope you're alright -A.

comparatively/in the scheme of things i’m great!! or should be

if ur possibly who I think u are. then I will say I am sorry.

if not - i am still sorry.

[stillwooozy]

when i dont feel better after eating tacos ik im done fcked up :,)

[stillwooozy]

3 yrs later & i feel personally victimized by “Irls” ?

Out of the loop ig

I feel someone was like “this guy is weird… i dont want anyone like him around” but ik that is just MY ego complex

Anyways any adult fictionkin?

children make me want to throw up cuz i feel so bad for them

yeah - crashout hun u have 0 autonomy rn & that is horrible fr

[stillwooozy]

i’m tired & traumatized tbh

u see something about me is that my brain is not very stable

I am also very sad. like all the time. like ive depleted alll my dopamine thru traumatic experiences (many which brought on by my own bad decisions) + drugs since 12 yrs old more/less (triggered early onset psychosis)

and I do TRY REALLY HARD like all the time.

but i end up in the same fcked up loop of sitting staring at a wall for 30 minutes deciding if i should punch it or myself

jk but ive had a very very very bad month. and i am so close to totally crashing out.

i’m going to lay in some grass and cry again and ask me how im doing in 20 mins :/

[capsulemauve]

in the original draft, eren was meant to save krista from a titan's mouth instead of armin. but isayama changed it, thinking their meeting was too premature.

[zeke-best]

Historia be living in Eren's head rent-free.

[sunstoodstill]

[antiqueanimals]

Ernest Thompson Seton