Albus Potter felt like he was going to be sick, correction he wanted to be sick, perhaps then he would have an excuse to run away and never come back. His mouth was dry, his throat sore, sweat was forming on the back of his neck and his palms were clammy. And yet- he stayed, he sucked it up for Scorpius. His best friend needed him, he couldn’t abandon him now. Even though he so desperately wanted to.
Everything was a mess, his entire world already fragile was finally starting to crumble to pieces. Scorpius was alive- that was good, but everything else was chaotic. And it was his fault, if only he had taken a moment to think before he had acted, then he wouldn’t have kissed his friend and they wouldn’t be sitting there in awkward silence. He wanted to forget about it, he wanted to pretend that it had never happened. But he couldn’t- every time he glanced at the other male he thought about how his lips had felt against his. They were gentle, surprisingly soft and the worst part of it was how right they felt against his. It was like their lips were meant to be together, but he couldn’t say that.
He wasn’t sure about many things, but if there was one thing that he was sure about it was that kissing Scorpius felt right. He only wished it had been in a better context, and that perhaps his friend would have returned the kiss. But that- was something he would just have to hope for. For now, he would just hope that his friend wouldn’t address the situation. For he knew if he did, he wouldn’t be able to control himself.
And then, Scorpius mentioned Lily and the last bit of happiness he had disappeared. He should have known he would have asked sooner or later, he should have been prepared for it. But he wasn’t. Albus had been far too worried about Scorpius to even think about Lily. His sister. Some brother he was, forgetting about his missing sister because he was too preoccupied by her boyfriend. He was awful.
The boy opened his mouth to speak, but the words didn’t come out- he didn’t know what to say. So instead he nodded, his gaze falling to the floor as he bit down on his lip. Lily was still missing, and besides the other kidnapping, they hadn’t heard anything in months. The other kidnapping. It had happened after the task, which meant Scorpius had no idea about it. It also meant that someone needed to tell him. And that was a job that would most likely fall on Albus. But he would wait, find a way to mention it some other time.
Avoiding the subject was a poor choice, one that he was fully aware of but the Hufflepuff didn’t care. He didn’t have the heart, the energy to talk about it anymore. Still chewing on his lip, he slowly lifted his head, his gaze falling on Scorpius once more. He let out a sigh of relief as his friend shifted the conversation to reading.
Everyone had told him it was a foolish idea to read to Scorpius, and deep down Albus knew that it probably was. But he hadn’t cared- it felt right, like the only thing he could truly do to help. Scorpius loved reading, and since he was unable to read himself- Albus did it for him. He was surprised to hear that the other had heard him, but also pleased with himself and for the first time in what felt like an eternity he smiled. “Y-you could hear me?” he asked, once more biting down on his lip.
When Albus nodded in response to his question about Lily, Scorpius couldn’t help but slump a little bit. He pressed his hands against his eyelids, trying to shield them from the bright lights of the hospital wing as his head throbbed. He was starting to realize his emotional state had a profound impact on how he was feeling, and he was abruptly hit with a bought of nausea. He grimaced and tried to draw in a few deep breaths into his lungs but the air in the hospital wing felt both stale and too clean all at once.
He tugged his pillow out from under him -- moving feeling much less difficult now that he’d been awake for a little while -- and pressed his face into it, before blindly fishing his arm back out and grabbing Albus’s hand, his fingers curling desperately around the other male’s. His other hand continued to squeeze the pillow he was hugging to his face tightly and he tried his absolute hardest not to burst into frustrated, helpless tears. He didn’t know what he would’ve done if Albus hadn’t been there with him. The feeling of his palm pressed against Al’s was currently the only thing going on in Scorpius’s life that felt real.
The thought -- and the phantom, perhaps entirely imaginary feeling of Albus’s lips on his earlier -- made his heart lurch and he abruptly had to pull back and grab the trashcan beside his bed. He pulled it up in time to empty the contents of his stomach into it, feeling dizzy and exhausted and sick to his stomach still. The sudden movement in his dash for the bin had made his entire body -- but his head especially -- flare up with pain once again, and he let out a strained whimper.
He tried to breathe again, feeling gross and embarrassed that he couldn’t pull it together in front of Albus. Luckily, the table at his beside had tissues on it, and he grabbed several and used them to dab at his mouth before reaching over for his abandoned glass of water and finishing the rest of its contents.
When he was done, he turned back to Albus, a sheepish smile on his face. “Sorry,” he murmured, hoarsely, before returning to Albus’s question about his reading. He had heard him, he thought, while he was unconscious. And his voice had felt so soothing, and so familiar, he faintly felt like his comatose self had tried frantically to get to that voice over and over but of course he hadn’t managed it. But it felt nice knowing that Albus had cared enough to dedicate so much time to reading to him. It felt special -- like Scorpius was worth that much to him. It was hard to conceptualize what he’d done to earn that loyalty. Still, he wasn’t going to turn a gift like that away.
“Yeah I could hear you,” he said softly. “It...was nice. Comforting,” he admitted, flushing a little bit. “It helped me not be scared.” He tilted his head a little bit and closed his eyes, trying to call back to those moments. “I think I liked the fairytales best. They made me feel like things would be okay in the end.”
