Something I don't think I've seen people talk about but I'm not actively searching for it so it might've already been discussed but-
The foreign kids.
Pip hates French people.
Christophe is French.
And since I've seen many works of Christophe and Gregory being frenemies (most times because Christophe hates British people, but I don't think that's actually canon), I've come to a conclusion.
Make Pip and Christophe absolutely hate each other.
I want Pip to hate Christophe for being French and his 'stupid smoking habits' and his 'stupid accent' (or whatever people complain about French people idfk) and I want Christophe to hate Pip for somehow being more British than Gregory could ever be. I want to see the prim and proper Pip and the god-hating and foul-mouthed Christophe argue, bicker, fight with a burning passion. I want them to insult each other in the most creative ways. I want them to duel in a battle of fisticuffs. It'd be SUPER funny guys like COME ON!!
They are each other's #1 haters
French: "You are not any diffraunt from ze ozher kidz, all idiotz waiting for zeir, oh, so mercifal lo'd to take zhem to zome 'eternaul paridize'. You are juzt a spaz, a british pieze of sheet I cannot believe people geev you ze time of day, calling you 'frenchie'. They uze zat az an inzult? Non, it iz bazically a complimaunt, you are below being called human, you are beneath ze animalz and are bound to die by the handz of ze very zame Gahd who created yer pitifaul exziztaunce."
Brit: "Oh and you're some perfect child? I believe you've never heard this amazing american expression called 'SHUUT THE FFFFUCK UP!' Since you're so caught up in clouds of smoke you breathe blocking out any knowledge that'll enter your ear, but'll exist out the other anyway. You dig like a mutt who tried to find a bone they've dug deep underground which completely forgot it unburied it and hid it under its bed- And your exaggeration of Z's in your words, oh hold your tongue for heavens sake- Your stupid accent- Unbelievably obnoxious! It darkens my day just like it darkens your lungs--"
French: "Oh, and yourz iz not obnoxious?"
B: "Anything's better than your voice! I'd- I'd listen to Ed Sheeran on end or- or Taylor swift if it was a choice choosing to listen to you talk! Foul fiend!"
F: "You must really hate me zhen."
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'-> Tea drinking panzy."
B: "Blue cheese scented jerkward."
F: "I hope you ztub yer toe on every dur you open."
B: "I hope you feel crumbs underneath your sheets which you'll miserably fail to clean.."
F: "Walk on ze puddels wiz zocks on."
B: "Clip your nails to the point you cannot open a soda can!"
*British and French glaring.*
...
B: "Same time, Sunday?"
F: "Non, too zoon, mozher haz me going to a church retreat. Make it zaturday."
B: "Alrighty, saturday then."
Beautiful. Truly cinema.
