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@stochasticomegle
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Have you ever try cutting?
Stranger: Hahahahahaha
Stranger: No.
Stranger: Not that dumb.
You: i hate all questions on this fucking website
Stranger: I thought the Elephant one was nice.
Stranger: Though it wasn't really a question.
You: the elephant one?
You: haven't come across that one yet
You: Anyway, you people get the opportunity to ask question you wouldn't normarlly ask
You: And all trolls can do is begging for kiks and pics
Stranger: Ah
You: Ask us what our life goals are, where our beliefs stems from, who we love, why we love...
Stranger: Something about elephants killing younger girls in India because they're attracted to periods.
You: DAMMIT
You: what did I just read
Stranger: But those questions are boring.
Stranger: Those came up when the whole "Ask a question" thing started.
You: They are goddamn questions at least
Stranger: After about half an hour, everyone had enough and turned to "Are you gay?"
You: Oh, I missed that time
Stranger: So, what would your big question look like?
You: How long have you been roaming this pit of enndless doom?
You: How can you not be frsutrated by the amount of stupidity ?
Stranger: Eh, I tune in every once in few moons
You: haha, I see.
Stranger: Well, just don't risk prolonged exposure.
Stranger: We all know what we're in for here:
Stranger: Retards.
Stranger: Retards aplenty.
You: hahaha, no, I refuse to accept that
Stranger: But every once in a while, you meet someone who's actually fun to talk to.
Stranger: Savor that moment, then don't come back for a long long time.
You: Ih, yes, those are rare times indeed :D
You: You seem very experienced at this whole omegle thing
Stranger: I'm very experienced when it comes to messing with people's heads.
Stranger: So naturally I feel at home here.
You: You natural habitat, so I see
Stranger: Humanity is like a storm composed of sheer madness.
You: I agree
Stranger: I just like to sit in the eye of that storm instead of watching it rolling over me.
You: that's a nice way of putting it
Stranger: Embrace the lunacy and yadda yadda
Stranger: Just imagine that I'm saying all kinds of deep things here, you'll get the picture
Stranger: If all else fails:
Stranger: Laugh it off.
Stranger: Humanity survives because we're capable of laughing at everything.
You: I don't know whether to label you as a madman or genius
Stranger: If we didn't, we would have committed mass suicide a long long time ago.
Stranger: I'm just a hypnotherapist's secretary.
Stranger: So really, neither.
You: Sounds interesting
Stranger: Did you know that there are still a lot of hypno-consultations with the defined goal of encouraging a young woman's chest growth?
You: I did not know that
You: thanks for the fun fact
Stranger: It's been debunked as a pseudo-practice for years, and still they're making so much money with all those rich teenagers, it's not even funny anymore.
You: Oh dear! :o
Stranger: Well, sometimes it is funny.
Stranger: I once listened to one of those sessions...
Stranger: "Imagine your breasts are watermelons, planted in rich firm soil."
You: I see you already laughing maniacally behind closed curtains
Stranger: "Watermelons grow with the amount of water they receive"
You: Is this really what they say, oh dear ! hahah
Stranger: "Now I want you to see yourself as a gardener, encouraging your plants, watering them ever so often"
Stranger: It was all I could do to not fall from my chair
You: hahaha this is hilarious indeed
Stranger: My current boss is better than that
Stranger: Doesn't use a lot of prose
Stranger: Makes it less funny
You: So, did you ever wanted to be a hypnotherapist's secretary?
You: not ever , always*
Stranger: No, I never wanted to be anything special, which is precisely why I ended up getting just any job, and turns out it was this one.
You: Do you like it?
Stranger: I love it :)
You: Even the pay?
Stranger: My boss is a scary person, which helps in a way, because people accept his commands more willingly
Stranger: It's alright for me, I get by :)
You: Then you are very lucky :)
Stranger: I get to calm people down before their first sessions
Stranger: It's fun, I can be the good cop in that scenario
You: :)
Stranger: "There there, you'll be alright. Unless the master fucks up and convinces you that you're locked in a coffin"
You: haha,
You: careful or some will believe that last part :o
Stranger: Yep
Stranger: You always need to talk straight to the subconscioius, it takes everything so damn literal
Stranger: No phrases or anything, just clear, concise commands and imagery.
You: I think it's difficult to understand what happens in the mind :o
Stranger: Nah, humans are all simpletons
You: I wasn't expecting that
Stranger: It's basically "Mom. Dad. Sex. Wait, that was weird. Oh well, guess there's the reason for my psychosis."
Stranger: But that's only when you boil people down to their most basic stuff
Stranger: It's actually fun to see the thought castles they build on top of that :)
Stranger: Everyone's so creative :O
You: I believe so, still find it hard to imagine
You: Isn't there a youtube video or so?
Stranger: I dunno, I guess no serious practice would produce one
Stranger: We always spend a lot of time going through the common thoughs:
You: hmm probably
Stranger: "Remember those shows at the circus where they make people dance like chicken?"
Stranger: "Those people actually wanted to do that, that's why it worked."
Stranger: "No, we can't tell you kill someone."
Stranger: "Unless you want to."
Stranger: Tragic.
You: interesting thought
Stranger: I thought I could get rid of some ex's that way, but nooooo
You: how would you get rid of them?
Stranger: "Go kill my ex."
Stranger: Like that :)
Stranger: "Oh, also, when you wake up you'll be convinced that I helped you and will be forever grateful."
Stranger: It could be so easy :
You: Easy, satan
Stranger: :
You: :d
Stranger: So, what do you do for a living?
You: nothing
You: I'm studying
Stranger: Aww, cheater
You: I live like a parasite on the costs of my family :s
Stranger: Studying what though?
You: life sciences
Stranger: Ah.
Stranger: So that's why you're on Omegle.
Stranger: Working on your Master thesis? :)
You: why, what? haha
You: What are you suggesting at?
Stranger: You could turn this into an excellent case study for what humanity boils down to
Stranger: "kik plz"
Stranger: "asl"
Stranger: Presto.
Stranger: One doctorate, coming right up.
You: hahaha, oh dear, that woul dbe rather depressing
You: I'm actually here for a less noble reason
You: called procrastination
You: Also, I'm in my first bachelor year
Stranger: Aww, I thought you were here to flirt
You: haha,
You: I 'm bad at flirting
Stranger: It would be the least noble reason :O
Stranger: Everyone's bad at flirting
Stranger: That's why it's so fun
You: Seriously, I don't understand it,
You: I've never done, I think
You: Maybe subconsciously
You: I love to observe how other peple flirt though
You: Now that's funny to see :D
Stranger: Yeeeeessss
Stranger: They're so helpless :D
Stranger: And slimey.
You: Girls would tilt their head a little bit, ease their hips and lift their toe, while smiling bright and giggling
You: Boys act cooler though, I can't read guys.
Stranger: ................ lifting toes?
Stranger: Whoa
Stranger: never noticed
You: They act as if they don't notice it
You: yes, you didn't?
Stranger: It's...
Stranger: whoa
You: just one foot hahah
Stranger has disconnected.
You: Well, john
You: I need to go
You: good bye
Stranger: who is john
You: you are
You: I gave it to you
You: it's an honor to be named by me
An authentic piece of clever writing on OMEGLE.
This is what happens when you don't read the question
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hello!
Question to discuss:
Do you sometimes fantasize about rape?
You: whatever the question, the answer is YES!
You: fuck
You: Haha, you're from the states, cool
You: And what do you think of Canadians?
Stranger: sometimes they drive really slow lol or really fast sometimes they just cant make u their minds but im part Canadian lol...what do you think?
You: I don't really know a lot about candaians, just the stereotypes I read on the internetz
Stranger: what do you hear?
You: I hear they dig moose
You: and maple syrup
You: and they always say sorry
You: and they're very polite!
Why did Sally fall of the Swing?
Stranger: So, why did Sally fall of the swing? (joke)
You: hah
You: I could give you many reasons why
You: But then I'd be writing a book
You: And we don't have time to say all the reasons why Sally fell of the swing!
Stranger: There is only one right answer
Stranger: But your role is to ask 'why did Sally fall off the swing'
You: Okay okay
You: why did Sally fall off the swing?
Stranger: Because she had no arms.
You: That got depressive quickly
Stranger: Knock knock
You: Yes come in!
You: Oh wait, It wasn't like that, was it?
You: Alright say it again
Stranger: Not really
Stranger: Knock knock
You: I'm busy don't disturb!
Stranger: ....
You: Oh I ruined it again, didn't I?
Stranger: Possibly
Stranger: Knock knock
You: Who's there?
Stranger: Not Sally.
Stranger: HAHAHAAHA
You: This is so sad.
Belgium
Stranger: from?
You: I'm from the Kingdom of the Belgians
You: It's a little fairy tale like country
You: you've probably never heard of it
Stranger: im from the U.S. of A and no I haven't heard of it but it sounds really cool :)
I don't know what I expected!
You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hello!
You: but you do what you want ya know
Stranger: hi, im a 15 year old boy and i have never masturbated before, i really dont know anything about sex and stuff, but i would like to try masturbation, but i dont know how to start with it or how to do it right, im looking for someone to give me advice or guide me thru it the first time here on omegle. PLEASE don't disconnect, im really serious about this
Stranger has disconnected.
I have given "asl" a chance
You: hello
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asll
Stranger: asl
Stranger: asl
Stranger: aasl
Stranger: asl
Stranger: als
Stranger: asl
You: whoawhoa
You: are you looking for a girl?
Stranger: yup
You: Okay
You: I am one
You: What now?
Stranger: cool
Stranger: your age?
You: 18
You: So?
Stranger: from?
You: Europe
You: And?
Stranger: cool
Stranger: horny??
You: No.
You: So happens next?
Stranger: i can make you horny
You: I don't want to be though
You: What now?
Stranger: wanna have sex on cam?
You: No.
You: I want to do it with someone I like
You: And I don't really know you
You: Therefore, I can't really like you
Stranger: c'mon we can have it daily
Stranger: on cam
Stranger: and you will like me for sure
Stranger: and you will get to know me soon
You: But I don't want to.
You: Your intellect is that of a jellyfish
Stranger: c'mon don't be a kid now
You: What are you saying?
You: I'm an adult for crying out loud
Stranger: so behave like 18
You: Let me ask you a question
Stranger: you on skype??
You: If you love having sex so much
You: Why don't you get yourself a girlfriend?
Stranger: you can be my girfriend
You: No, I can't
Stranger: c'mon
Stranger: i like cam sex
You: Are you too afraid to approach women in real life?
Stranger: more than real
Stranger: i like cam sexx more than real one
You: Are you afraid of girls?
You: Who's a kid now?
Stranger: i had sex in my real life
Stranger: i am not a kid
Stranger: i am fed up of real sex
Stranger: i had it so many times
You: So have a real relationship.
You: You know, with feelings and hugs
Stranger: i had once
Stranger: but the girl ditched me
You: So?
Stranger: so i have become like this now
You: Live on, try again, handle your rejection
Stranger: i was not rejected
Stranger: i just got ditched
You: Don't turn into a weird pervert!
You: Save yourself now!
You: Change!
You have disconnected.
I truly apologize
You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hello!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl
You: HELLO
You: I AM 17FUSA
You: YOU?
Stranger: 25 m usa
Stranger: wats up
You: NOTHING MUCH
Stranger: why the CAPS
You: I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT MMMKAY?
Stranger: lol okay
You: DOES IT BOTHER YOU?
Stranger: whatchu look like?
You: I AM FEMALE
You: I LOOK FEMALE-ISH
Stranger has disconnected.
You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hello!
You: It's been a long time
Stranger: Since?
You: Since I spoke to you
You: Don't you remember?
Stranger: It feels like another life.
You: I rather think everything feels the same
Stranger: Well, that's sad.
You: It's comforting really
You: Change.. is scary sometimes
Sometimes, being excited can scare people away
You: I see, that's the difference... !
You: I've learnt something today
You: How exciting
Stranger has disconnected.
Wise words...
Stranger: When I feel lonely, I listen to Taylor Swift.
Stranger: Her music is so bad I feel better when it finally stops.
You: I need to go now dear Thomas, jorgen, boris, Steven
Stranger: good night sammy, hans, christopher. :D
You: good night!
The Omegle show
You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hello!
You: hello hello!
Stranger: Hey
You: Welcome to the omegle how
You: show*
You: Today's special guest is....
You: Stranger!
Stranger: lmao
You: Hello stranger, welcome to our studio
You: Hope it wasn't a long drive fo you, or was it?
Stranger: No it was great
You: Excellent!
You: So tell me, stranger, you have brought us some good news, haven't you? :)
Stranger: yea
Stranger: hmmm
You: Of course you have!
You: Oh my our broadcasting time is up!
Stranger: i won million dollar?
Stranger: oh
You: yes yes, we'e very sorry
You: and unfortunately, we don't have a million dollars, for I am just a regular host on a random chat site
Stranger: *cant stop laughing*
You: Alright then, it seem we have to stop now!
You: Well, thanks for coming here and good bye!
You have disconnected.