hey! a warning so that hopefully anyone who follows me sees this! i realized that i was censoring myself on my porn blog that is pretty much exclusively for me anyways so i wanna stop doing that!
starting tomorrow, i will start occasionally reblogging cnc and breeding stuff. it will be tagged #cnc and #breeding, so if you don’t wanna see that, either add it to your blocked tags or unfollow! i won’t take offense this is your user experience lol
these posts are just fantasy, and any reenactment would require lots of negotiation and previous consent!! i am not a girl, i’m just a guy with a fucked up gender. you do not have my consent to come into my dms and start misgendering me. negotiation and consent above all else.
Seconding this. It's not fun and it's not cute when you get hurt in a way that can't be fixed. Even if it feel like just pretend to you it is still real life with real people, and can have real consequences.
Sub red flags: a checklist for less experienced Doms
Awhile ago, I wrote the above post explaining several red flags and warning signs in Doms for less experienced submissives to be aware of. This is the inverse. Written mostly for inexperienced Doms who are seeking subs, from the perspective of an experienced Dom. I would recommend less experienced subs read as well. My hope is that this post is a resource for others and helps to improve kink safety and understanding. Please remember to research everything you do before you do it and trust your gut. Don't do anything you aren't comfortable with.
Unclear consent/hasty consent
All kinks carry inherent risk. Some have physical risks, some psychological risks, plenty have both. Trust your gut if someone seems too eager to dive into something without fully discussing every possible angle you can think of. Don't ever run into something when you could walk. In kink, you aren't just consenting to the activity, you're consenting to the risks which the activity carries. Don't do anything with anyone who doesn't seem to understand that distinction.
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Dynamics are a two way street
One of the most misunderstood aspects of kink is the core element of mutual effort. Generally, less experienced people assume that the Dominant is an active participant, while the sub is a passive one, who simply receives whatever the Dom decides, getting off in the process. While this might work well in a Dark Romance novel it is categorically antithetical to real life BDSM. On a fundamental level, BDSM is a collaborative effort. Both the dominant and submissive are active participants, both have to put forth a lot of effort, both in learning about kink and safety and in actual scenes. While a scene might focus on a sub being a pretty doll for their Dom, just laying there and getting off, that should not be reflective of your actual interpersonal dynamic whatsoever. If a submissive doesn't believe they should have to put in as much effort as you, that's reflective of an unwillingness to put effort into your dynamic or your scene with them.
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Boundaries/safewords for doms
Just like a submissive has to consent to everything you do, a Dom also has to consent to everything in a scene. If a sub doesn't respect your boundaries, pushes them without permission, or acts as if your boundaries aren't as important as them getting off go play with someone else
"I have no limits"/"I don't use a safeword"
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REFUSING TO HONOR A SAFE WORD IS SEXUAL ASSAULT
Subs can assault Doms too.
This is fake. Everyone has boundaries. Some people like saying this doing scenes for fun, which can be fine roleplay, but if they genuinely believe it about themselves they are not emotionally mature enough for kink and are an unsafe partner. Run away.
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"Doms don't need aftercare"
Fake. Run. Unsafe partner.
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"Kink dispenser"
Subs should not view you as just someone who reads their mind and tells them things to get them off. Your needs matter too and all participants in a scene should be attentive to each other's needs and interests. You aren't there just to do whatever they want to get them off the same way they aren't there just to do whatever you want to get you off unless you have specifically agreed that you're both into that AND that the scene is going to be about that.
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Mental Health, Aftercare, and Drops
Your mental health is just as important as your physical safety in kink. Any submissive you play with must prioritize your emotional well-being the same way you need to prioritize theirs. There will be times when you feel weird after or during a scene or even bad about yourself. Dominance is stressful. Yours truly was once in a particularly harsh impact scene as a rookie Dom, realized how rough the marks on their thighs were, and experienced a drop feeling like a bad person even though they had specifically asked for what I was doing to them. It's perfectly normal to snap back to reality sometimes and end the scene for your own comfort. In fact, it is unsafe for your own emotional health to Dom anyone when you don't feel up to it. The correct thing to do is to communicate with the sub, pause or end the scene as needed, get feedback, let them know you need reassurance. Its completely normal and valid. If someone doesn't want to reassure you, that's a huge red flag
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Final notes
There are many "Doms" that are bad actors or abusers. They crave power over others not to seek out a mutual consensual fantasy, but because they want to stop other people from saying "No" to them, and have nonconsensual control over their life.
There are also many "subs" who are bad actors or abusers. Some are thrill seeking with little care for their own emotional or physical well-being, putting themselves and their dominant at risk by refusing to learn about safety or respect others boundaries. Some dehumanize Doms, essentially treating them like jerk off machine that doesn't have boundaries or feelings or require any effort.
Any standard you hold for yourself as a dominant, about consent, about boundaries, about safety, should also apply to any submissive you play with. No exceptions. Both Dominance AND submission need to be continuously earned, not given. If someone thinks otherwise...
’d like to have you stripped down to nothing but your panties. A ball gag in your mouth, nipples clamped and your asshole plugged. I’d have you kneeling before me straddling my boot while I sit back in a comfortable arm chair sipping my drink and enjoying the entertainment watching you humping and grinding your needy cunt on my boot and making the black leather nice and shiny from your cunt juice that has soaked through your ruined panties. The ball gag in your cocksucker is keeping your hole open but unable to form a seal around it so you’re drooling profusely with it rubbing off your chin and onto your tits and stomach. You’re desperate for more friction and you’re grabbing onto my lower leg and trying to pull it in tighter to get more for your needy cunt. You’ve been instructed to look up at me the entire time and don’t break eye contact and if you lose it, a quick slap brings your focus back quickly. I can see it in your eyes how desperate and vulnerable you are and it’s turning me on. I have to stand up and take my cock out as it’s uncomfortable being so hard and throbbing in my jeans.. I sit back down and begin stroking it inches from your face and I move it closer to catch some of your drool for lube to stroke. You need a slap and a reminder to look at me and not the cock in your face. You’re trying to get your mouth on it but there’s no chance with the ball gag. “Don’t worry slut, I’ll use your cocksucker later when I need to be cleaned up. For now, you just keep being a good girl and entertaining me with your drooly cunt. My boot is coming along nicely and really shiny”. Between the drool from your face hole and your leaking cunt, there’s a bit of a mess dripping off my boot and into the floor. Keep grinding that pussy slut. I lean forward to remove your ballgag and as I do, the backed up slobber pours out of your mouth. I think having a cock inches from your mouth has made you even more drooly. No silly I haven’t removed the ball so you could suck my cock, you’re going to put the final touches on my boot and clean up the excess mess. Now stand up. I pull your soaked sticky panties off and instruct you to get face down and ass in the air to clean the mess. That’s it, arch your back more while you’re licking your juice up so I can make some use of those holes. Your plug looks so cute I can’t help h but it pull it out and put it back in nice and slow, watching your ring stretch and clench and stretch and clench. Look at the sloppy mess your cunt has become as it drools down your thigh. I slap your swollen pussy and stuff two fingers in it slow but firmly and deep. In and out and in and out… add another finger so now we have three fingers stretching your hole and you’re making cute whimpering and whining noises.. it’s turning me on to the point that i pull the plug out of your asshole and plunge the head of my swollen cock in and pull it out making a popping sound that entertains me and makes you moan at the same time. I look at my watch and notice the time. The cock is plunging into your asshole deeper now… and deeper… and all the way in, my balls pressed against your clit as I slap your ass hard and start thrusting deep in your fuckhole. You’re grunting and moaning taking this cock in your ass so hard and deep and being stretched out. You’re licking the floor and reaching up and desperately rubbing your clit while getting your ass ruined. Fuck I’m going to fill your hole with this hot thick load as I’m rutting into you and growling and panting like an animal. Feeling my cock pulsing and throbbing in your hole and filling you. I pull my cock out when I’m finished and put the plug back in your ass to keep the load intact. I was having so much fun slut I didn’t realize how late it was getting, I’ve got a date in an hour, I’m going to shower. When you’re finished cleaning up your mess, let yourself out. Be back here tomorrow at 6 again. You still have to do the other boot.
you’re his little cock-warmer, his sweet dick coozie. when you’re exhausted after work, he crawls into bed behind you, takes your ass firmly in his claws and slides inside you. he asks you about your day, drool dripping from his fangs as he stays there, rooted. you can only utter one-word answers as he seeks out your most tender spot. he stays that way, filling you to the brim until your soft climax takes you. then he can’t hold back any longer, and he fucks you on your hands and knees until you’re screaming. after he bursts inside you, he stays lodged there, curled around your body even as you fall asleep.
polyamory really throws a wrench in some harder kink fantasies.
like yeah, I want to abduct you. Keep you prisoner in an abandoned storage locker. Decide on what you wear, eat, manage your entire life. Your family will never know what happened to you - [remembers] - but yeah i guess I'll like, text your other partners? to let them know where you are. and if they wanna borrow you out for a bit I'll unchain you and you can like, go out on a date or whatever. yeah no, I'm trying to unlearn toxic monogamy here. You're like my property but in a non-exclusive sense.
It's very interesting to me that a gigantic minotaur is fucking me vigorously. I'm observing the situation as it plays out from a detached academic perspective.
hi ur so cute hehe (please beat me up please beat me up please beat me up please beat me up please beat me up please beat me up please beat me up please beat me up please beat me up please beat me up please beat me up please beat me up please beat me up please beat me up please beat me up please beat me up please beat me up)
as a masochist it is your duty to make sadists feel comfortable expressing their desire to hurt people. if im allowed to say "i should be getting cut open and have my organs fondled bloodystyle" sadists should be able to say "i should be cutting someone open and fondling their organs bloodystyle". SADISTS GET BEHIND ME. i Will protect you
muting this post now BUT before i do that:
to all the sadists in the notes, whether youre more interested in more psychologically based sadism like fearplay, or more physical based like bloodplay, or a combo of both, or something else entirely. whether youre a sadist, sadomasochist, or something else. thank you so much. your value to the community is indescribable. i love sadists deep down in my beautiful masochist heart forever alright
“I am looking respectfully” “im so normal about this” can you bark actually? Can you hit yourself over the head w a frying pan like a cartoon wolf? Can you look at it derangedly please?
No, but I’m being so serious. If cumming is your only metric for successful sex, you need to change that. There are so many other ways to make your partner feel good and if you pressure one thing it only makes it that much harder.
