late to my own show

est 08.20. A lot older than 18. Fandoms: Ateez, Tomorrow x Together, Taemin, Stray Kids, Enhypen, Shinee, Monsta X (Itzy sideblog @storkmidzy)

[storkmuffin]

You can find the master list of YEAR ONE of my kpop musings here.

It got too long, so I began a Year Two Masterlist because that is a totally sane and normal way to live in fandom.

Please block #storkhousekeeping so as to not have my updates clog your Tumblr scroll

[raviolisforjaguars]

Yunsang live

[msg-teez]

YUNHO

[elvenpathed]

LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND

OVER A MAN

WITH

FLUFFY

BUNNY

EARS

[storkmuffin]

Streets are speculating that Ateez are going to swap and cover each other's solos at the fanmeetings. If they do this, which member would you like to hear sing which song???

I think that depends on whether I want a "good" show or if I want just chaos, inclusive of horrified cringe (this too can be extremely entertaining if the performer is really into it).

Good show version:

Jongho does Mingi's - Jongho can rap and do all sorts of sound effects, and I want to hear him growl into the mike. Plus the level of skin exposure and freestyle dancing in Mingi's number would be something Jongho would probably be ok doing.

San does Seonghwa's - with Adrenaline's choreo and sound, San did a lot of shouty singing and very macho, tough movements. I want to see him get slinky. Also he doesn't mind getting nekkid.

Yunho does Hongjoong's - I just think he'd be able to get his goofball on and play around being a dorky DJ.

Seonghwa does Yeosang's - Seonghwa has the same dramatic flare and the ability to do a 'narrative' type of performance, and I want to see what he does with the 'I'll Show You God" bit.

Mingi does San's - Mingi does sexy a little differently than San, and I want to see him go very delicate, which I think San's is.

Hongjoong does Yunho's, as a challenge, and as a treat, because Hongjoong struggles a little bit with not making exaggerated faces, so the austere discipline of Yunho's choreo would help him improve.

Yeosang does Wooyoung's because they would have to put this song in a different key so Yeosang can actually sing it - he is alto to Wooyoung's tenor -and I think Sagittarious is a strong enough song to survive such a rewrite.

Wooyoung does Jongho's because I think Wooyoung's voice is pretty in a wistful way, and I want to know how that song sounds from a very different singer.

Chaos Version:

Mingi does Seonghwa's song.

Yunho does Wooyoung's song.

Wooyoung does Mingi's song.

Yeosang does San's song.

San does Yeosang's song.

Seonghwa does Hongjoong's song.

Hongjoong does Jongho's.

Jongho does Yunho's song.

[storkmuffin]

yg: jennie you need to do something about your lazy dancing…

jennie: starts dating a literal dance god 

yg: THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT—

the memes, THE MEMES. oh, what a time it was to be a kpop stan 😭 thank you strawberry exol for bringing the memories back 😭

for 🍓 anon

[storkmuffin]

hold on, is jenkai where the whole “if u wanna know who’s dating who in kpop, just watch exo chanyeol” thing started? was he the main instigator of the teasing or smth? years ago whenever we’d discuss dating rumours and ships, there always would be comments like “isn’t there a video of (insert male x female idol) with exo chanyeol near by?” or “where is exo chanyeol when you need him?”

so exo chanyeol was kind of yunho of ateez except for straight ships?

but of course this is a question for 🍓 anon

[storkmuffin]

🍓 anon here. omg, i actually don’t remember anything serious about kai and taemin that made it to dispatch, related to dating?! the only thing I remember is dispatch saying they stalked taemin for months but got nothing bc he only ever hung out with his bestie (kai). and then some exols (international ones ofc) started “joking” it was bc he was gay (to go along with the eternal “taemin is gay, no straight man can be this androgynous” “jokes”). 

i wouldn’t take matching clothes as a sign of dating anymore, esp if isn’t making noise on the k-side. idols today all wear the same brands and pieces of clothing and even off the clock the range of what’s trendy and acceptable to be seen in seems really small. jenkai still gets spotted wearing the same clothes occasionally but k-fans don’t bat an eye since they both are part of the same fashion circles. iirc they even shared a flight to an fashion event a couple years ago.

about the media play thing. it may work exactly as anon described, for all we know. it sounds insane, but then again, when has the entertainment business ever done normal?! i personally believe jenkai were real and sm/yg took advantage of them to distract the public from their internal messes (burning sun, lsm being on interpol’s list, etc). two things can be true at once, yk 🤷‍♀️

from 🍓 anon!

[storkmuffin]

For 🍓 anon - wasn't there some thing with Kai and Taemin that made it to Dispatch as well? 🤣 Must have been a slow news week - I feel potentially not the most ✨️reliable✨️ of investigators, but I do love that the fans were just so locked in to a higher level of investigation than an actual news source!

Tbh, though, there was also a rumour that Jennie and Scoups from 17 were dating based on the fact that the people in the picture were wearing similar clothes(????) and only disproved when some sharp-eyed person went "his ass is not that flat" 😂😅

for 🍓 anon!

[storkmuffin]

yunho jumpscare during my san live

get thee away blonde demon nooooo

[storkmuffin]

ok this isn’t really a response to strawberry anon’s latest lore but it got me thinking. if jenkai really was media play, how did it even work? like i’m not questioning it, i know media play relationships exist but like the logistics behind them have always seemed so…weird to me??? like in jenkai’s case, what? sm went to kai and told him ‘ur gonna be dating jennie from blackpink from january. go take her on a date so dispatch can snap a few photos of u’. and kai went ‘sure. i can also get her a few magnets from hawaii if u want since i’m gonna be there anyway’. like…??? 😭

for 🍓 anon!

[storkmuffin]

the uber oppa lmao 😭 exo really does have the best lore in kpop, i’m fucking crying 😭😂

for 🍓anon

[hyunpic]

🫠🫪

[awoooooooooooyoung]

@storkmuffin He's- He- You need to see him.

[storkmuffin]

@awoooooooooooyoung THAT'S MY BOYYYYY

[storkmuffin]

Since I'm trying to make my way through my user storkmuffin questions I've wondered about:

If I'm remembering correctly, I think you've settled on Jay as your new, official Guy tm in Enhypen and I'm curious whether that makes Jungwon your bias wrecker now? 🎤

sent 3 days ago

You know what? I'm not sure.

But I am very very interested in everything Jungwon says and does, because I've been invested in how Enhypen reconstitutes its internal dynamics and figures out how to move forward.

The content that Enhypen have recently begun pouring out indicate that their stance is the same as the K-Engenes - a sort of, Did anything happen? I don't think anything happened kind of smooth transition, but I still feel myself in The Aftermath, so I don't know if my feelings about Enhypen will settle into the usual format of "bias/ wrecker" while The Aftermath continues.

They need to give a concert that isn't about That One's departure, which they haven't done yet. They also need to release a mini album or something where it's just the six of them in the recording and I can hear what that sounds like. They might even have to renew as a 6 man team before I can kind of get normal (levels of abnormal) about them again.

But yeah, if I had to pick - it's Jay I have the most emotions about, and Jungwon that keeps interrupting that interest.

[storkmuffin]

If I recall, you're a fellow Joohoney enjoyer. Riddle me this: why is this little video piece so delightful when the very idea of the performative aegyo makes me want to crawl into a hole? (Nothing against it ideologically - southern baptist church services also make me want to hide - further evidence of my past life as a repressed victorian-era governess.)

It's probably the contrast of the suit and the dimples, mirroring the formal presentation against the silly subject matter.

This man is a little bit of a menace.

https://youtu.be/1z7bwV6ayag

OH YOU BETCHA I AM A JOOHONEY FAN!!

I didn't even know he had this channel, so I am so grateful to you that you turned me on to this!

Joohoney is really such an all rounder in a way that most Idols I've seen to date can only dream of, isn't he? He can sing, dance and rap, solo and in formation with a group. He's also the type of open-hearted performer who connects very immediately with an audience, and gets emotionally vulnerable to the point of tears during ments (of course I was going to make note of this lol). I especially love that he is not defensive about his crying, either. Joohony can also run the show in an arena concert and seamlessly switch in and out of show MC and show performer. In the two concerts I attended where he ran the show, I was completely bowled over - it was masterful pacing, great wit, and all done with improvisation. And it turns out, Joohoney is the star and the narrator of TV variety content, no sweat. Now I see that he can also do this sort of thing, which is a combination of parody and stand up comedy, with a non-showbiz child, no less.

He's SO smart, and there's got to be so much effort and practice that goes into achieving this level of quality at every single thing he does.

WOW.

[storkmuffin]

Kpop Dance Class #40 & Shuffle Dance #4

My Friday p.m Kpop Dance Class was not canceled!!! HOORAY~~ White Hat did not sign up, as she had hinted (maybe she is going to the morning one), but two new students joined! A woman who looks about college age and honestly, the impression I had of her on sight was Engineer so I'm going to call her that, and an older woman of an age cohort I wouldn't have expected to take Kpop dance class, that I'll call the Hobbyist.

I was late, and the teacher was already started, doing this:

IOI's comeback song, which this Youtube teacher says is elevated 'beginner.' (Don't know who IOI are, but from the song snippet I heard at half speed, then 0.8x and then actual speed over and over for 40 minutes or so, it sounds like a charming mix of Trot and Pop).

My capacity to stay focused and 'in' my body waxes and wanes, and with it my capacity to follow along with the choreo. On the other hand, stuff that was literally impossible a year ago (like going down on one knee to do hand-and-arm movements and then getting back up, on the beat) I can now just follow along in the mirror without much hesitation. Great!

A new problem I'm encountering now is that I get so obsessed with doing a 'recitation' of the steps that I am not dancing. I move faster than the beat or sweep through a move that's supposed to be slow because I know what it is and I want to execute it because Ooh Ooh I know this one! But this is what it is to be bad at dancing, to execute the moves like a wind up toy without relationship to the music or the counts.

This is not Engineer's first time at a dance class at all, whatsoever. She's great. Ms. Hobbyist is less experienced, but she doesn't get upset when she can't do a thing the way I used to and White Hat definitely did. When the class was just me and White Hat, the teacher turned the class into a 'one day' seminar type thing where we didn't try to build on what had been learned the week before to do the full choreo or anything, but she's going to try to do that now, because she's got the Engineer.

I also went to my fourth Shuffle Dance Intro class on Sunday morning. Left foot is still a problem. Also, Shuffle Dance is apparently developed enough as a dance genre for there to be regional variations. There's the Running Man, and then a Malaysian variation, the um, Malaysian Running Man (back foot goes out on a diagonal) which also has a can-can-kick added variation that Korean Shuffle Dance does not use. I find this Malaysian Running Man very very confusing to do, because it requires a diagonal- left-foot-to-back movement and anything that makes me use my left foot first while in motion just makes me lose physical control.

The shuffle dance school is very systematic, where each 'level' of class has very clearly articulated goals and you 'have to' move up to the next level and so on. I'm not sure about this, because my goal is to find my left foot and not get into Advanced Shuffle Dance or whatever, but yeah. It's really nice to have this patiently taught class where I get to do stuff with my body I never ever do in any other activity on a weekend morning.

[storkmuffin]

New-To-Me Finds: Ampers&One, 82 Major and Wendy of Red Velvet

The Weverse Con happened yesterday, and I just hadn't been paying attention, so I wasn't 'on time' to compete for the obviously (obviously) highly desirable tickets for Enhypen's outdoor performance happening just across from KSpo Dome by weeks. These tickets, for the indoor portion, were mysteriously available, so I just nabbed one after doing a very cursory read through of the scheduled performers. First, SOOBIN OF TXT would be there, alone! As for the rest, I'd at least heard of some of these groups, and, in spite of all the money grubbing and crappy shit that Kpop does to its intended audience, I've yet to see a show that was insincerely put together or unenthusiastically performed. The major headliner for this night was supposed to be Rain, about whom I feel nothing. I figured he'd come on at the end and I could leave to beat the crowd before he came on.

The ending first: I despised one of the acts that I was introduced to during this omnibus concert that I left without seeing Soobin at all. I later saw on social media that he'd performed two Rain songs solo and the Soobin stans were so thrilled about it, but seriously, I hated the one act so bad that I don't feel any regret whatsoever. (Plus, it must be admitted, that Soobin always photographs thrillingly in performance but his stage performances are not actually always thrilling.)

But!! I got what I wanted to out of the festival format, because I received a very good (well sort of ) introduction to groups that I will be looking into in the future!

First up, AMPERS & ONE.

These guys debuted near the end of 2023, so they've survived the first hurdle, of finding enough of an audience and/or not yet running out of money within the first two years.

This is what their concept for this festival appearance seemed to be: Horny Catholic Seminarians Hold a Private Mardis Gras Party in a Cemetery. It started out looking tawdry, like Halloween nun costumes that are lingerie with a wimple, but then it ended up being kind of endearing, because a lot about them reminded me of Ateez. To be more exact, Ateez made more high fashion than Ateez was at the start. Like, how grunge actually existed, you know, as a thing in the music scene in Seattle, where people thrifted all their clothes and didn't wash their hair, and then at some point, luxury fashion houses did 'grunge' collections where they used really expensive hair products to make the fashion models' hair look dirty and made worn-looking flannel patterned outfits new and then charged a shit-ton for those clothes? Sorta like that.

Their stylist is definitely quite creative, because she clearly had a role assigned to each boy. Some of them were Catholic school boys and there was at least one post-modern bishop-type outfit - at least the stole, anyway. There was also a biker priest. More on him in a second.

This kid said he was their leader, and I was like, Yeosang?? And like Yeosang, he has a really cool voice.

And this boy, that they put in the biker priest outfit, introduced himself as "the sexy one of Ampers-and-One" and then just waited for applause, which he got. I liked him for this so much, not only because I think if you're going to debut as an Idol, this is the persona everyone should pick (why do this if you're not going to be sexy??) but also because he gave the distinct impression he understood the kinky shit that is implied by his costume, and got a kick out of it.

My thought during the concert was that I wasn't sure about the songs, despite the guys all being competent dancers and very beautiful. Then, today, when I was running around doing stuff, I listened to their Spotify selection and found the songs SO CHARMING. Catchy pop songs that are internally coherent and sound very sophisticated and well put together. NONE of that came through in the actual experience of their 4 song set.

It turns out they're the little-brother group to P1Harmony - that same company that gave me that crap concert experience because they could not figure out sound engineering!!!

Knowing this factoid about who 'owns' this group explains the other negative things I experienced about Ampers & One. Their 'ment' script was pretty terrible. They were dressed in black against a black stage with moody dark-grey lighting. So I could sense and feel (because this is the magic of watching dance live - you can FEEL this even if the people are the size of Q tips) the passion and the big-scale movements of the Idols, but it was so invisible.

FNC Entertainment collects good people and then wastes them by having incompetent stage direction, is my current assessment of this company.

Second up was a female group. I hate everything about them - their presentation, their sound, the way the girls talk - absolutely everything. Sitting through their set was a chore and they died on the vine too. They got almost no worthwhile response, because they're horrendous. Almost every member of the audience I could see from my seat escaped into their phones while politely waving their lit up lightsticks, because kpop female audiences are very kind. This group made me realize why there were so many tickets available until the very last minute for this omnibus concert.

I thought I was done with this group when their set ended, but they came back to open the 'second half.' OH PLEASE NO. Even though it was plainly signaled that Soobin would be coming on maybe about 20 minutes from the end of this miserable girl-team's second set, I was so horrified that I literally jumped up and jogged out of the arena. On my way out, the usual set of concert workers told me, with surprised alarm and multiple times so as to make sure I would understand, that if I exited the building altogether I would under no circumstances be allowed back in. I nodded with grit teeth, not because I was upset about this (I know this rule) but because I couldn't very well unload on thess innocent people that I found it personally insulting to be in the same building with that fucking girl band.

But this happened after I sat through the other act of the night I found unbearable, and before that I had two new heartening discoveries.

So I mean, I guess I have those girls to thank for this realization: I do not stan Soobin enough to sit through a second set performed by this horrendous girl band.

Third act of the night was 82 major.

These guys are real dancers and very committed, athletic, all-out dancers in the way of like, young BTS. They started their set with a stunt, which is something I haven't seen in live performance yet from anybody. 82 Major built a cheerleader-type human tower among the members and the final one launched himself upwards from the top while doing kicks on this way down as the first move of the first song. NICE. There was another moment when all the members did a the splits-stand-kick pose from black-belt level taekwondo (once again proving that martial arts and dance are kind of the same thing) that also looked very cool.

82 Major's staging suffered the exact same problems as Ampers & One. Black clothes against a black stage with dark moody stage lighting, leading to invisible dancing. Why gather a group consisting of talented dancers, give them hard-as-fuck choreography and then also make absolutely sure NOBODY IN THE STADIUM CAN SEE THE SHOW?

In terms of just stage-intelligence, 82 Major deserve a bright future, because they figured out early in their set that they were, in fact, not visible, so the two that were wearing removable layers removed them.

Now that I look at the very few photos I took, it occurs to me that the directorial choice was entirely in favor of whoever was streaming the indoor portion of Weverse Con, which - why would anyone do this? If you were gonna stream anything, you would stream Enhypen, you know? Get a grip, Weverse Con.

Oh, and guess what - 82 Major was launched by someone who used to work at FNC Entertainment! So like, they brough the same artist-defeating shitty-staging preference they've inflicted on P1Harmony and on Ampers&One and applied it to 82 Major.

CHRIST.

Or maybe San's sweat stains non-scandal had more of an impact that I knew, so everyone just got paranoid and dressed their guys in all black to avoid that risk? I don't even know.

82 Major has ... really weird lyrics. Like lyrics are NOT a strong suit of this group (or any kpop group, tbh, actually, other than basically when Hongjoong breaks out the Korean thesaurus for his bits) but apparently unaware of this, 82 Major chose to do bold-font projection of certain key words and lyrics as part of their set. I hate talking to you is an actual lyric. It flashed across the screen, and so, to me, an English fluent person in the audience, I just felt like I had a boyband yell at me in all caps.

And then it got unintentionally comical:

Uhhh. Is this a request? A command? ...Sirs? What? I was laughing too hard to take a clear photo of the other word that got this treatment in the same song, which was TOP.

Also do you see what I mean by invisible, and how the staging basically said "Fuck you, the live audience?"

The thing is - 82 Major are majorly (heh) talented. They obviously look great, because they're Idols, but they actually SOUND great, when live. They do! They're so great they overcome the FNC Entertainment-trademark incompetent sound design. They seemed to have a majority rapper situation, and each of the rappers had a great, distinctive voice, terrific diction, and overall they are very musical and exciting. I am going to dig deeper into 82 Major, though not that deep, because hating KQ Entertainment that owns Ateez is tiring enough.

I had no idea who Wendy was, but it turns out she is a member of Red Velvet and a goddess to boot. I felt like the show suddenly found its footing with her appearance. She just projected such a competent air - she knows how to run a show as well as deliver the music and entertainment, you know? And her voice is as beautiful as her voice. Everything about her set was just so good - she wore bright clothes, her spotlight operator knew exactly where she was at all times, her commentary was not canned and delivered with humor and confidence, she actually connected with the audience instead of pantomiming what it should look like when a connection occurs.

Wendy is great. I need to go to a Red Velvet show, definitely.

A huge portion of the audience for this performance turned out to be there for Plave. I only vaguely knew what Plave was. I found the experience a bit frightening because it was extremely uncanny valley the whole time, but Plave's fandom (the 플리 and romanized obnoxiously as PLLI) performs all the kpop fandom requirements with great aplomb - the synchronized waving of the very unique dumbell lightstick design, intended to be held horizontally rather than the usual vertical, the fan chanting in between the lyrics, the singing along to the 'best' bits, and screaming for the ... the Idols. But I found the entire experience impenetrable, and alienating. The PLLI seem to know and accept that they are odd birds - I sat next to two PLLI, separated by an empty seat, who audibly celebrated, with relief, that the woman to be seated between them who arrived a little late was also a PLLI.

As I've said, even through Ampers&One and 82Major, whom I think are not well known, the audience still tried to be polite and respond - to wave lightsticks and answer and cheer, even if they were carrying Moa Sticks for TXT and the Engene lightstick for Enhypen (this person either bought the wrong ticket or this was her consolation ticket). But for Plave, those of us who weren't already PLLI were so disoriented that we just watched the big screen like it was a movie, hands in our laps.

I did see Soobin for a little bit, when he announced the 'grand finale' of the evening, which was all about Rain, but then the girlband of doom came on and I had to leave. Sorry Soobin.

I was actually really glad I decided to leave early, because as I made my way to the subway stop, the Olympic Park was filling up with protesters upset about the bungled elections - They ran out of ballots for this district! I would also be outraged if this happened to me. - and I can only imagine how terrible it was going to get later when both the Arena and the outdoor performance spaces had people all leave at once, while the protesters doing the night-shift were coming in. EEP.