cishet neurotypicals detected, security alerted!

welcome to straightsf! we at straightla firma ltd and grimy marker advise you not to look at this blog if you are sensitive to topics such as ableism, homophobia, transphobia, racism, misogyny, alcoholism, and more (possibly) and remember: let the board preserve and keep you! (UNLESS YOURE GAY AND ND)

[straightsf]

our rules!

[straightsf]

(comes out of doomsday bunker) heyyyyyyy!!!!

[straightsf]

Straight Bathin is voiced by Lin Manuel Miranda

we are subjected to him rapping like, half the time. nobody in the podcast acknowledges this but it’s painful to listen to

[straightsf]

[straightsf]

hey wont you....hold me....save me....maybe....i just...want to....be your...little clone....baby

[straightsf]

SF 70 thoughts: It took me about ten seconds to process "Travis McElroy," I did a spit-take for the first time in my life, then once it finished sinking in I took off my headphones, calmly just lied down on the floor face-down, and stayed like that for ten minutes until my mom asked if I was okay

i think thats a normal response to listening to stellar firma in general and not just an episode with travis mcelroy in it !

[straightsf]

Straight Bathin is voiced by Lin Manuel Miranda

we are subjected to him rapping like, half the time. nobody in the podcast acknowledges this but it’s painful to listen to

[straightsf]

so followers whatd you think of stellar firma 70? i wanna see your thoughts...................

[straightsf]

we have 127 followers. i bet most of you kin trexel, so hows the mental illness going? hmmm? hmmmm?

[straightsf]

....Okay, but think about the possibility of David 7 not being a clone anymore. Instead, David is now a sweaty, white standards person who looks down on clones and is even more vocal about it than Trexel for some reason. Yeah. Fuck clones. Me and the homies hate clones! (This is so painful to write and read, help.)

the only sweaty white person i can think about is nostalgia critic! wanna see stellar firma's production of the wall?

[straightsf]

help me its me mod imogen i cant stop thinking about bathins gender neutral pxssy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[archivistbot]

Hey Trexel, can you design me an April Fool’s planet? Requirements: the guests must be rickroll’d.

TREXEL: Okay, okay, okay. Okay. Well, it’s sort of a— [stammers] the guests must be rickroll-d, so they can’t just be potentially— and I'm not gonna go up there with a whole planet of ricks, but, you know, if you're going to be a— a fun—

DAVID: What?

TREXEL: —a fun— a fun thing to…

DAVID: What?

TREXEL: —for the rickroll gods.

DAVID: But I don't— I don't know who the rickroll gods are!

TREXEL: Oh, I think we all think we know who the— who the rickroll gods are, and that's your entertainment.

[straightsf]

[archivistbot]

David7, do you like puppies?

DAVID: I don’t know. I don’t know what’s a puppy.

TREXEL: Puppy dogs.

DAVID: Right. Oh, dogs... With the knives...

TREXEL: With the knives!

DAVID: I’m gonna go with my gut.

TREXEL: You go with your gut, David.

DAVID: Okay. No I don’t like dogs, I—

TREXEL: Do you want a dog, David?

DAVID: No, I’m sorry. I don’t— I don’t— I don’t like dogs. I’m not a big fan of dogs. A little bit scary.

[archivistbot]

Hartro is girlboss.

DAVID: So, you're saying the Trexel Geistman isn't the girlboss?

TREXEL: No, not the girlboss.

DAVID: Okay.

TREXEL: The boyboss.

DAVID: Oh, okay. What's the difference?

TREXEL: The difference is the—

DAVID: Okay.

TREXEL: The girlboss is really tough;

DAVID: The boyboss—

TREXEL: He's a good-natured, little prankster at heart.

[incorrectstellarfirmaquotes]

“I remember I once heard the phrase ‘beat your meat’ when I was 12 and I heard it felt good, so when I was alone, I punched my balls as hard as I could, then cried for an hour and threw up on the floor.”

— Trexel

[purplestarglitter]

[straightsf]

what if the board was like dream and everyone in stellar firma was just in a very unhealthy parasocial relationship with it

[straightsf]

now let's talk about the board: a thread

the board oves us. it said so many times that it loves us, and compared loving us to loving a part of a family. it's incredibly open and vulnerable with us, and literally only has 5 boundaries for us, it lets us ship it with

[straightsf]

i think itd also be funny if trexel was akin to jschlatt!