I learned this past week that loyalty means very little to most people - even your most trusted work mentors.
I learned that justice doesn’t always prevail.
I learned that sometimes things that are blatantly wrong are not apparent to even some people you thought were incredibly smart or wise.
I learned that people will often stoop lower than you thought basic morality would allow.
I learned not to trust so easily including those you advocate and mentor for and to reassess your trust on a regular basis.
I learned that good people don’t often fight for things not because they’re too timid or not willing to go 10 rounds, but because sometimes it’s best to just move on. And because sometimes there isn’t enough to gain.
I learned that there is a point where I start wishing certain people would rot. Never thought I would because I am not that type of person to wish ill of bad people. But some people do need to rot.
I learned that my mentality of there not necessarily being good or bad people, just people with different perspectives and priorities, is wrong. There are bad people. There are people that are selfish above all costs and don’t care if they deliberately hurt others to get what they want.
I learned that I’m no longer sure I believe in karma. This is a strange world. I want to believe that bad people get their repercussions one day but I’m not sure that’s true. There are a vast number of people at my company and every company I’m sure that are bad people and keep getting promoted because either no one wants to get martyred by standing their way or people don’t see it or bad people take others’ credits. Sure, maybe a few bad things happen to bad people like bad things happen to everyone, but that’s not karma, that’s normalcy. Coffee spill isn’t karma, it’s clumsiness.
If you can’t tell, it’s been a harddddddddd week for me. And unfortunately I’ve taken a sucker punch for bringing bad things to light, thinking I should have my tenure and success at my company to vouch for me against this abomination disguised as smiles and politeness that has been here for only a few months. I was speaking up for myself and others and Abomination wasn’t even a higher level that me - was brought in too high of a level (several senior executives agree) but is technically my same rank.
But I guess justice doesn’t always prevail. And I learned that sometimes your most trusted people let you down. In a big way. And it feels of betrayal because that’s exactly what it is.
And so now... it’s time to walk away.
