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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@strawberryrants-blog
my best friend is soooooo not interested in me and in my life but when itās about her itās allĀ āletās talk about me now for a looong time and if you donāt reply youāre doneā
i tell her serious stuff all i get isĀ āhmmā but when she talks about really casual things i reply loots
this is unfair yet i donāt want to cut her but i need someone new with whom i can be myself
i had this one once and i lost her god why did i do that
i need to see a new psychiatrist but iām so full and iām so lazy iām afraid i have to go to the old one and heāll get mad because iāve upped my dose by myself and i also cut the pills for sometime heās gONNA KILL MEEEE
no jk he doesnāt talk like AT ALL thatās why i donāt like him
I NEED A NEW PILL BETTER THAN CIPRALEX BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FORGET SHIT
how do i tell my psychologist iām hypersexual?
iām so self-conscious in the therapy room. in the last session she wanted me to talk about something i was ashamed of, and she knew there was something i couldnāt tell but she didnāt insist (thank god)
bUT HOW DO I TELL HER
iāve been this cute boy who worries about small things all the time now iām gonna look like a sexual predator at her eyes ughHHhhH
self-recovery maybe??? HMMMMM
Night-time: *comes*
My brain: Let's have a Big Sad
so iāve been off my meds for like two and a half months now and iāve just realized i might have done it all wrong and i think iām suffering the consequences
i just read some guy got brain damage from cold-turkeying cipralex and iām so scared??? my memory has become shittier recently and i canāt even leave the house without getting anxious about something really bad happening (may i remind you that my country is in an emergency state right now and the thought of a police stopping me and checking my phone in the street is just... TOO SCARY)
iāve read that people quit medicine in months and i just did it in a week or so. i went from 20mg to 5mg in two weeks then i stopped taking it after a few days of 5mg and THAT WAS NOT THE WAY TO DO IT and why did i never check???? why did i never google???? what was i thinkin????
now I WANT TO GO BACK TO 20MG [normally you start with 10 i guess but 20 worked so well for me, i donāt know why i ever quit it??????) but iām scared of having some different symptoms because i almost-cold-turkeyed it and now i want to take it at the highest mg and i donāt want to suffer anymore so taking it as 10 or 5 is just as good as not taking it for me
iāve been feeling overly anxious. i canāt leave home. i get angry at ridiculous times and i get sad at ridiculous things and i have this feeling in my stomach when i get sad which is just tooooooo annoying and i
iāve never felt this anxious. my depression started when i was living in belgium but even then, i managed to leave the house and being a middle-eastern foreigner in a country in danger of isis (soldiers everywhere), i didnāt feel this anxious while going out???
i canāt even go to the supermarket which is one street away
i constantly feel the need to look at my phone and i walk weird and i donāt like how i look. i start to feel bad about myself suddenly and i just
i canāt do it
my school is starting in a month. iāve not seen my fp since june because I CANāT FUCKIN LEAVE THE HOUSE and
i know iām gonna regret it. my only gain from this summer was to finish some really good tv shows and maybe thatās what is making me feel good about this situation.
i love staying in. i love the FUCKIN FEAR of going out?? i love that i can sayĀ āi canāt go out because iām too anxiousā?????? wHY WOULD SOMEONE LOVE THAT
when i told my therapist months ago that i actually LIKED being depressed and sad all the time.... OH GOD, i canāt even remember what she said bUT IT WASNāT HELPFUL
i need to see a doctor BUT i need my pills to see a doctor but i feel scared to start them again and these stories of people being on meds for seven or more years and they canāt quit pills iāve read that some peopleĀ āPLANā to quit them in TWO YEARS
iāve also read that cipralex in long term may cause hallucinations etc. and iāve already been experiencing really weird dreams and some shitty thoughts and these spots near my eye that goes away when i look straight at them
and my memory has gotten shittier, iām sure
i seriously donāt know what to do but i canāt change cities to go to my college city in a mood like this beCAUSE i hate living there, i hate my dorm and all those misognyst assholes in my dorm and in my class and
i DONāT have a friend there because the last two (my only friends) stopped talking to me beCAUSE I WAS FUCKIN DEPRESSED
hELP
I hate when I dislike people for like no reason but like Iāve learned to trust my instincts
is there anyone else that feels pain in their stomach when something that saddens/worries you happens???
iāve searched and itās all about physiology. yeah, anxiety can cause stomach pain bUT WHAT ABOUT SADNESS
i seriously donāt want to surf the internet because there are so many basic things that triggers my stomach pain, it sucks
on the one side there is a woman, abused
on the other side, there is a privileged white man, abuser
as simple as that
if you support depp and criticize amber, your opinion is fucking stupid and we donāt have to respect that
you donāt know depp, we donāt know amber
but we do know that johnny depp beat up amber
AS
SIMPLE
AS
THAT
show us evidence that amberĀ āemotionally abusedā depp and then weāll talk
[though if abused, he should have left before hitting amber, so yeah depp is still in the wrong]
So, because y'all are thirsty for Depp you're willing to excuse abuse?
on the one side there is a woman, abused
on the other side, there is a privileged white man, abuser
as simple as that
if you support depp and criticize amber, your opinion is fucking stupid and we donāt have to respect that
you donāt know depp, we donāt know amber
but we do know that johnny depp beat up amber
AS
SIMPLE
AS
THAT
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU
THERE IS VISUAL EVIDENCE THAT JOHNNY DEPP ABUSED AMBER HEARD AND YOUāRE STILLāLIKEĀ āHEāS NOT ABUSIVE, THAT VIDEO DOESNāT PROVE ANYTHINGā
OH MY GOD, JUST FUCKIN ADMIT THAT CELEBRITIES CAN BE SHITTY PEOPLE TOO???????
seriously WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
and donāt EVER reblog or reply to this post to DEFEND johnny depp, iām not gonna deal with your fuckin stupid opinions
I HAD ENOUGH
YOUāRE ON TUMBLR, HALF THE POSTS HERE ARE TITLED āABUSIVES MAY NOT SEEM ABUSIVE TO OTHER PEOPLEā WTF DIDNāT U LEARN ANYTHING
that video cannot be used in court, and itās soooo amberās right to leak that video to shut all you fuckers up after all that sheās been through
ok?
bye
i donāt remember my nights???
i canāt distinguish between whatās real and a dream???
theres days when i donāt want to talk to anyone. nothing against any specific personā¦ itās just that sometimes itās so physically and mentally draining, and i have to take time to myself to recharge.
honestly the best feeling ever is realizing youāre not sad anymore over something you thought you would never get over
when one of my friends asks me to go out i stop talking to eVERYONE it's like my system just shuts down
that bpd feel when
other people with mental illnesses set you off because life is a competition and im supposed to be The Most Miserable
