timber fake dating au where berns’ family is rich and well known (not wayne level but maybe like drake level?) and they meet at a wayne gala when they’re both like 15 or something (tim became drake-wayne earlier cuz jack died earlier and obv he’s still robin).
and they’re bored out of their minds and when they meet immediately bernard blurts out a conspiracy abt the wayne galas being fronts for bruce to conspire with batman to operate their cloning empire or something and tim laughs so hard he cries and they become really fast friends. and they decide that they need to come up with a cover to get away from the galas when they’re this mind numbing and they’ve had it up to here with haughty old ladies pinching their cheeks and asking little timmy when he’s gonna take over his dad’s company and tiny bernie when he’s gonna host his own dowd gala or whatever, and tim thinks of all the times that bruce has covered up his scenes as batman by being a bumbling himbo womanizer and eureka that’s it, that’s the plan!
he tells bernard they just need to be airheaded giggly boyfriends who want to run off and go…make out, or whatever it is giggly high school boyfriends do, and bernard is staring at him with big, sparkly hazel eyes and a manic grin that splits half his face and ofc bernard agrees he’s certifiably insane and maybe so is tim (it’s a definitely, especially if you asked bernard).
and so they’re grabbing onto each other and stumbling out of the gala and their faces are inches apart and they’re faking, of course they are, they’ve only known each other for as long as the gala has been going on with it’s sparkling chandeliers and champagne and jewelry hanging off of simpering benefactors, and maybe the way they’re looking into each other’s eyes as suddenly-interested papparazzi snap scandalous photos is all made up but tim- tim is kind of forgetting that they’re meant to be escaping with bernard’s loud, bright laugh in his ear and his fluffy blonde hair falling into his eyes- his eyes that are so mischievous and shine with so much brilliance, tim doesn’t think he’s ever met someone as smart as bernard and he’s only known him for a few hours but- but-
they sneak away and all the adults that catch them running arm in arm just roll their eyes fondly and shake their heads and a few of them shout after them asking why they aren’t with their parents so really, tim was an evil genius for this plan because it goes amazingly well, and well, they’re going to have to keep this up for the next gala and tim is actually excited about that because that means he can use this cover for, well, anything really- not just getting away from the noise but also maybe for robin?
but it’s all kind of drowned out of his head as his gaze keeps getting caught on bernard’s smile, so wide and caught full of teenage guilt and excitement and they’ve fully escaped by now but tim can’t stop thinking about bernard’s cheap shampoo and lemony laundry scent as bernard spins around him with delight. they’re in the backyard of wayne manor, where no one will see them, but also they’re still at the manor so bruce can’t be upset that they left exactly. and the moon is high in the sky and shining bernard in silvery blues and tim- he’s not gay, of course he’s not, and well- he knew what he was getting into when he convinced bernard of their plan, he knew he’d be called all sorts of things, none of which of course would be true, including the label of gay- he knew they’d plaster it all over the news and social media and he knew that he’d have to talk to his family about it and he knew that he, well, he came out when he’s literally straight, but. tim would normally think long and hard about all of those things, about all of the consequences, for hours, but there was just something about looking into bernard’s eyes and feeling this rush spark in his chest at the thought of being in bernard’s arms and faking something he hadn’t even thought of, not once, in all his 15 years of living. but. here they are, here tim is, here bernard is, and they’re laughing and they’ve escaped the misery that is a wayne gala and there’s a lump in tim’s throat and bernard is- he’s-
he’s so beautiful. in the soft rays of the white faced moon, in the darkness of the night, in his all black suit and dirtied up dress shoes, with his hair ruffled and wild from the wind and tim’s hands. he’s the most beautiful thing tim has ever seen.
and tim…can never say a thing.
