turntechtimetraveler

and were all still making stupid jokes like this [rp blog for timetraveler dave you should really read his bio before following/rping w/ him plz&thank]

[stuffedcrab-archive]

PROBABLY WALLOWING IN A PIT OF SELF HATRED LOATHING MY VERY EXISTANCE AS I CURSE MY CREATOR UNDER MY BREATH. OH WAIT, GUESS WHAT. YOU, STRIDER, ARE THE NORTHERN LIGHT IN MY BLACK NIGHTS. THANK GOD YOU EXIST OR I’D BE LOST IN THE FOREST OF EMOTIONS FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY. THANK YOU, SO MUCH, FOR RENEWING MY TAKE ON LIFE. I THOUGHT IT WAS A LOST CAUSE BUT NO YOU PROVED ME WRONG. GEE WIZ! OF COURSE I AM. I CAN DO THIS JUST FUCK GIVE ME TUITION MONEY SO I CAN GO TO COOL SCHOOL OR SOMETHING. 

IS NONE OF THE ABOVE AN OPTION? I LIKE IT THE BEST, ACTUALLY. 

[striderofthefuture-blog]

youre not going to cry on me are you i know this is a pretty emotional moment for you but i just bought this hoodie ok if this gets ruined i am totally suing you  either that or making you buy me lunch or st or just a new jacket but you get the idea

youre welcome though ok theres no need to thank me or anything though i do this kind of shit out of the goodness of my own heart  

if you dont pick one ill pick for you ok and i will make sure that it is the worst and most long winded greeting youve ever read just for you 

[mutedleader-blog]

WATCH IT, STRIDER. IF YOUR EGO GETS ANY BIGGER IT MIGHT DEVELOP ITS OWN GRAVITATIONAL PULL.

ENOUGH OF THE SARCASM, ASSHOLE. I GET IT.

AGAIN I SAY IT, YOU’RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE. I KNOW THAT NO ONE THINKS YOU’RE COOL. NO ONE THINKS YOU’RE COOL BECAUSE YOU’RE *NOT* COOL. YOU’RE JUST A FAILURE WHO TRIES TO COVER UP HIS MISTAKES BY ACTING LIKE A DOUCHE TO BASICALLY EVERYONE.

STOP TALKING TO ME LIKE I’M A WIGGLER. I WON’T HAVE THIS SHIT.

OH YEAH. HOW DARE I FORGET THAT YOU’RE ALWAYS BUSY DRAWING INCREDIBLY SHITTY COMICS AND BASICALLY BEING A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT ALL THE TIME FOREVER? I FEEL ASHAMED FOR FORGETTING THIS VITAL PIECE OF INFORMATION. 

[striderofthefuture-blog]

oh shit youre right  karkat help its too late its already happening  were all going to die arent we if you see bro tell him that label maker he got me for christmas was terrible he really needs to know that 

i love you too

wow you really have me figured out dont you yep thats it you cant see it but im applauding you right now i am clapping so much right now ok  theyre all for you too i hope you appreciate this because ngl its pretty hard to clap and type at the same time 

oh no did i offend you however will you forgive me 

i know how could you no really though my comics are perfect theyre masterpieces  theyre just ahead of their time is all ha that was a joke did you get it oh yeah probably not nvm 

[stuffedcrab-archive]

THANKS, STRIDER. WELL, NOW I HAVE SOMETHING TO WORK UP TO. BEING AS COOL AS THIS JAMES CHARACTER. YOU’VE GIVEN ME A GOAL. I HAVE A PURPOSE FOR BEING NOW. 

THANK YOU, DAVE, FOR GIVING MY LIFE MEANING AGAIN. WOW, I THOUGHT IT WAS A GONER FOR A WHILE THERE. BUT YOU PROVED ME WRONG.

I DON’T KNOW IF I’M GOING TO BE OKAY FROM THIS DISTURBING NEWS BUT I HAVE TO PULL THROUGH. FOR ALL THE CHILDREN WHO LOOK UP TO ME.

HI, STRIDER.

[striderofthefuture-blog]

im so glad i mean really where would you be without me nowhere thats where youd just be sitting in your weird alien bed pod thing wondering to yourself what am i doing in life whats my purpose but you know what you dont need to do that anymore do you? nope beause ive given you a purpose its to out cool james are you really up to the challenge though i mean dang its gonna be a tricky one

but yes hi hello greetings salutations etc etc etc take your pick because idrc hell pick more than one of them pick all of them if you want to 

[striderofthefuture-blog]

stuffedcrab started following you

funniest-dude-ever-just started following you

ok i appreciate these follows too but not as much as the other one neither of you are ever going to be as cool as james not even you, me 

its a sad thing to come to terms with i know but youll make it through i promise i believe in you

oh and hi karkat

[striderofthefuture-blog]

somethingexcellent started following you

fyi im marking this down as my biggest accomplishment of the year not that ive accomplished all that much this year but really this means a lot to me ok almost brings a tear to my eye dont tell anyone though it might ruin my reputation

[ceruleanlover95]

Whats a lolsummer69 is it a game or perhaps a type of obscure foreign food?

And its sort of a long story but yes if i wanted to be brief i do like the color blue quite a lot. As well as green and orange and red (though just out of all these choices i think green is most preferred).

[striderofthefuture-blog]

wow youre even more out of the loop than i am thats actually really funny but im not really allowed to explain why because of reasons  i mean technically i could but then id have to ship you off to antarctica to starve or freeze or st idk

ok so do you like green or blue more im confused i mean if you like green then you should have gone with chartreuselover95 ngl 

[mutedleader-blog]

YOU CAN. BUT WHY DIDN’T YOU DO THAT THE FIRST TIME?

NO, NOT IF YOUR TIMELINE IS DIFFERENT. WHICH IT OBVIOUSLY IS. YOU’RE BETTER OFF NOT KNOWING WHAT IT IS ANYWAY. IT’S TERRIBLE. 

YOU’RE REALLY PROVING HOW MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE YOU ARE. IF YOU’RE GOING TO DO STUFF TO INTENTIONALLY PISS ME OFF, DON’T ACT SURPRISED WHEN I SAY I DESPISE YOU. JUST DON’T FUCKING DO IT.

I’M DONE WITH YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME BECAUSE I DON’T THINK YOU’RE COOL. I’M FUCKING DONE WITH IT. (BY THE WAY, NO ONE THINKS YOU’RE COOL.) (NO ONE.) (EXCEPT TAVROS, BUT HE ALSO THINKS FAIRIES ARE COOL.)

NO, IT’S NOT. I’VE TALKED TO YOUR BROTHER BEFORE, STRIDER. YOU’RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE HERE.

DID YOU REALLY READ WHAT I SAID, OR DID YOU JUST SCAN OVER IT?? I TYPE THINGS OUT FOR A REASON. IF I GO THROUGH THE TROUBLE OF TYPING AN EXPLANATION FOR YOU, YOU SHOULD FUCKING READ IT. IT’S NOT THAT HARD TO JUST READ. 

[striderofthefuture-blog]

what you dont ever make mistakes are you a perfectionist or something is that why you dont like me ha that was a joke because i actually am perfect  did you get it why arent you laughing gosh

gasp me doing things to purposely piss you off what gave you that idea dang

nope youre seriously the only person well you and that john kid whatever

whose tavros though is that one of your little troll friends im guessing yes

well damn i guess you have us both figured out then dont you 

anyway i just kind of skimmed im a busy man karkat you cant honestly expect me to read every single rant you throw at me gosh thats just selfish i have a life outside of you i know its hard to accept but you need to realize that ok

[striderofthefuture-blog]

Your ship list is beautiful.

amen

[striderofthefuture-blog]

ceruleanlover95 started following you

is your url supposed to be one of those parody things like lolsummer69

or do you just really love the color blue 

[striderofthefuture-blog]

strideralert started following you

wow hot a what baabhabhiat

[carcinogalactic-deactivated2013]

I’M ONLY AFFORDING YOU AS MUCH COURTESY AS REQUIRED.

AND I DON’T THINK YOU’RE WOUNDED. NOT EVEN IRONICALLY.

YES. I’M KARKAT. WHAT GAVE IT AWAY? THE ANGRY CAPITAL LETTERS?

[striderofthefuture-blog]

what if i told you that i was literally wounded right now not even metaphorically or anything like your angry text literally broke through my computer screen and cut off one of my limbs or something

actually it was the general douchebaggery but the angry capital letters helped out too the whole "omg you are so unremarkable it pains me to type this" thing or whatever helped too

[automatonarisen-blog]

all in a days w0rk

y0u can always c0me t0 me if y0ure having tr0uble deciding whether s0mething is lame 0r n0t

n0 charge

h0w d0 y0u n0t kn0w ab0ut being a time player?

if y0uve already played en0ugh t0 be utilizing y0ur p0wers y0u sh0uld definitely kn0w

and if y0u havent y0u w0uldnt be making time j0kes

dying isnt that bad th0ugh

y0u get used t0 it after a c0uple 0f times

s0 many alternate timelines

and s0 far y0urs s0unds like an interesting 0ne

[striderofthefuture-blog]

oh thank you that really means a lot i mean are you sure you wouldnt mind gee i dont want to be a bother or anything 

ok plot twist i actually have no idea what youre talking about i just like time jokes ok sue me (dont actually sue me im broke enough as it is) 

well youre a robot or w/e right dying is probably a lot worse than someone whos you know actually alive or whatever no offence not that i would know or anything seeing as im still alive and kicking but thats just my guess

my lifes really boring though so youre probably really wrong about that sorry but no dice or something like that idk 

[striderofthefuture-blog]

heirofpranks replied to your post: carcinomisanthropy started following you ...

oh hey welcome back to the internet.

than you it means a lot it just warms my heart to know that you care enough to welcome me back almost brings a tear to my eye

[carcinogalactic-deactivated2013]

WELCOME BACK? I NEVER EVEN KNEW THAT YOU WERE GONE. PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU’RE COMPLETELY UNREMARKABLE IN EVERY WAY WHATSOEVER.

[striderofthefuture-blog]

wow rude see i thought we were closer than this but i guess not im hurt wounded even ok not really

youre karkat right id introduce myself but im p sure you already know who i am 

[mutedleader-blog]

THEN YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE CAVE AGAIN FROM THE BEGINNING. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU’VE SOLVED ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS.

I REALLY DON’T SEE WHY YOU THINK YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TOLD ME THAT. IT’S WEIRD, BECAUSE I’M PRETTY SURE THAT IN MOST TIMELINES TROLLS AND HUMANS MET THROUGH SGRUB, BUT IF YOU DIDN’T, THEN WHAT EVER?? IT’S ALSO PRETTY WEIRD THAT YOU KNOW ABOUT TROLLS BUT YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT ME. THERE’S NOT A WHOLE LOT OF TROLLS STILL ALIVE. IN MY TIMELINE, ANYWAY. DON’T CALL ME “KITKAT” EVER AGAIN. IF YOU WANT TO CALL ME VANTAS (A.K.A. MY LAST NAME) OR KARKAT, THEN THAT’S FINE, BUT THAT’S THE *ONLY* THING YOU CAN CALL ME. I’M FINE, AND YOU’RE AN IDIOT. YOU’RE NOT COOL, AND NOTHING YOU COULD EVER DO WOULD EVER CONVINCE ME THAT YOU ARE.

HIS NAME ISN’T BRO. NO ONE’S NAME IS BRO.

THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS WRONG WITH WHAT YOU JUST SAID, I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO FUCKING START. AS ALWAYS, I’LL FIGURE IT OUT. OKAY, YOU HAVE BLACKROM ALL WRONG. IT’S NOT “YOU HATE SOMEONE, BUT YOU LIKE THEM”. THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS, SO STOP PRETENDING YOU UNDERSTAND IT. BLACKROM IS A RELATIONSHIP WHERE YOU HATE SOMEONE WITH ALL OF YOUR BEING. YOU DESPISE THEM, YET YOU’RE ATTRACTED TO THEM, AND YOUR HATE FOR THEM DRIVES YOU TO SPEND TIME WITH THEM NO MATTER HOW MUCH THEY PISS YOU OFF. LIKING THEM IS NOT A REQUIREMENT. IN FACT, IF YOU LIKE YOUR KISMESIS, YOU MAY HAVE A PROBLEM. ALSO, WE DON’T HAVE INCEST. IT’S NOT A THING THAT EXISTS IN TROLL CULTURE. WE’RE NOT EVEN “RELATED” TO OUR LUSII. I’M OBVIOUSLY NOT BLOOD-RELATED TO A GIANT CRAB. THERE’S STILL A TROLL EQUIVALENT TO BESTIALITY THOUGH. FINALLY, IT’S JUST REALLY FUCKING COMPLICATED, OKAY? WHEN YOU LIVE WITH SOMEONE FOR A LONG TIME, YOU’RE GOING TO GROW FOND OF THEM TO SOME EXTENT, EVEN IF YOU DON’T REALLY GET ALONG. THEN THERE’S THE FACT THAT THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN A TROLL AND THEIR LUSUS DOESN’T WORK THE SAME WAY AS A HUMAN’S RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR GUARDIAN FIGURE. BOTH THE TROLL AND THEIR LUSUS HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER. THE LUSUS TEACHES THINGS TO THE TROLL THROUGH VERY COMPLICATED MEANS INVOLVING A PSYCHIC SORT OF COMMUNICATION BETWEEN THE TWO, AND THEY ALSO PROVIDE PROTECTION, MOSTLY FROM OTHER TROLLS. THE TROLL GIVES THEIR LUSUS A HOME AND MAKES SURE THEY ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO EAT. WITH A RELATIONSHIP LIKE THAT, YEAH, YOU’RE PROBABLY GOING TO GROW PRETTY FOND OF THEM BECAUSE YOU JUST TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER. IT WORKS THAT WAY, EVEN IF YOUR LUSUS IS A LOUD-MOUTHED, CRABBY ASSHOLE WHO SCREECHES ALL DAY LONG AND ALWAYS HAS SOMETHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT.

[striderofthefuture-blog]

oh no god forbid i have to go through that cave again whatever will i do cant i just stock up on max repels or something this time idk 

oh ok

sgrub though is that something i should know about because spoiler alert i dont know what that is oops

ok so no nicknames allowed ill be sure to keep that in mind and then proceed to call you as many nicknames as i can think of its ok no need to thank me

really though theres obviously something wrong with you id you dont realize that shit are you running a fever or something should i be worried do we need to call life alert 

no karkat you dont understand his name is literally bro its not short for anything i dont call him that because hes my brother his name is actually bro 

ok so theres no werid alien hatemance going on with your animal dad and blah bah dave youre an idiot something about bestiality got it  thanks for enlightening me 

[striderofthefuture-blog]

carcinomisanthropy started following you

sassygaydstrider started following you

carcinogalactic started following you

in other news i think angry trolls and alternate selves was the best welcome back i could ever ask for ok 

thank

god bless

amen

etc

[striderofthefuture-blog]

sinisterlordenglish started following you

is there an anime convention going on that i should know about shit too bad bro cant be here to take part  really though halloween isnt until october what do you think youre doing