Self Improvement

just here to grow

[berryvxlle]

[workitgurl]

[bitchesgetriches]

Ask the Bitches: "Do Women Need Different Financial Advice Than Men?"

Money doesn't care what your gender is. However, there are 6 important ways women NEED different financial advice than men. Here they are...

Ask the Bitches: “Do Women Need Different Financial Advice Than Men?”

Today on Ask the Bitches, we’ve got a GREAT question about whether women need different financial advice than men. And it was asked by… A MAN?!

(Cue: crashing thunder, rain SFX, opening cords of “It’s Raining Men.”)

That’s right, doubters and haters. Despite our joyless misandrist ways, we’ve got male readers. We’ve even got male readers who are so into what we talk about they’re willing to pay us for our work by becoming Patreon donors!

One such donor asked us a thought-provoking question about gender and money that initially kinda stumped me. In short: do women need different financial advice than men?

Keep reading.

Did we just help you out? Say thanks by donating to our Patreon!

[eggsdoodz]

as it always does 🍎

[veryluckyclovers]

[ilex-cassine]

The back panel of baby's first battle jacket is complete 🍅🏴☀️ Hand painted design plus some storebought iron on letters I eventually had to just sew on individually. @_@

Now to add some patches and spikes...

[sunsbleeding]

[jordanbolton]

To The Painters of Pompeii - Jordan Bolton

My first book ‘Blue Sky Through the Window of a Moving Car’ is now available to pre-order! Get it here - https://smarturl.it/BlueSky

[letsmeetinourdreams]

“Some years ago, I was stuck on a crosstown bus in New York City during rush hour. Traffic was barely moving. The bus was filled with cold, tired people who were deeply irritated—with one another; with the rainy, sleety weather; with the world itself. Two men barked at each other about a shove that might or might not have been intentional. A pregnant woman got on, and nobody offered her a seat. Rage was in the air; no mercy would be found here.

But as the bus approached Seventh Avenue, the driver got on the intercom. “Folks,” he said, “I know you’ve had a rough day and you’re frustrated. I can’t do anything about the weather or traffic, but here’s what I can do. As each one of you gets off the bus, I will reach out my hand to you. As you walk by, drop your troubles into the palm of my hand, okay? Don’t take your problems home to your families tonight—just leave ‘em with me. My route goes right by the Hudson River, and when I drive by there later, I’ll open the window and throw your troubles in the water. Sound good?”

It was as if a spell had lifted. Everyone burst out laughing. Faces gleamed with surprised delight. People who’d been pretending for the past hour not to notice each other’s existence were suddenly grinning at each other like, is this guy serious?

Oh, he was serious.

At the next stop—just as promised—the driver reached out his hand, palm up, and waited. One by one, all the exiting commuters placed their hand just above his and mimed the gesture of dropping something into his palm. Some people laughed as they did this, some teared up—but everyone did it. The driver repeated the same lovely ritual at the next stop, too. And the next. All the way to the river.

We live in a hard world, my friends. Sometimes it’s extra difficult to be a human being. Sometimes you have a bad day. Sometimes you have a bad day that lasts for several years. You struggle and fail. You lose jobs, money, friends, faith, and love. You witness horrible events unfolding in the news, and you become fearful and withdrawn. There are times when everything seems cloaked in darkness. You long for the light but don’t know where to find it.

But what if you are the light? What if you’re the very agent of illumination that a dark situation begs for?

That’s what this bus driver taught me—that anyone can be the light, at any moment. This guy wasn’t some big power player. He wasn’t a spiritual leader. He wasn’t some media-savvy “influencer.” He was a bus driver—one of society’s most invisible workers. But he possessed real power, and he used it beautifully for our benefit.

When life feels especially grim, or when I feel particularly powerless in the face of the world’s troubles, I think of this man and ask myself, What can I do, right now, to be the light? Of course, I can’t personally end all wars, or solve global warming, or transform vexing people into entirely different creatures. I definitely can’t control traffic. But I do have some influence on everyone I brush up against, even if we never speak or learn each other’s name. How we behave matters because within human society everything is contagious—sadness and anger, yes, but also patience and generosity. Which means we all have more influence than we realize.

No matter who you are, or where you are, or how mundane or tough your situation may seem, I believe you can illuminate your world. In fact, I believe this is the only way the world will ever be illuminated—one bright act of grace at a time, all the way to the river.“

–Elizabeth Gilbert

[pers-books]

I think it’s time this got another airing.

[hidefdoritos]

Did a little more decorating on those cargo shorts that I've been mending. Getting centered by stitching in these crazy times has been essential.

[hope-for-the-planet]

"It's wrong to think of these as thresholds--that as soon as we pass 1.5°C, we're toast. That's not true. There is nothing special about the number 1.5°C; it's not that things are liveable at 1.499°C and as soon as we hit 1.501°C the planet becomes unbearable. There is a significant increase in the risk of tipping points and non-linear climate impacts once we start to get into the 1.5°C-2°C range. But that doesn't make 1.5°C an all-or-nothing threshold. In fact, it makes every 0.1°C even more important once we start to move into that zone. The difference is that many climate scientists view these numbers as targets. It would be incredible to meet them, but we need to keep going even if we don't."

-Hannah Ritchie in Not the End of the World: How We Can Be the First Generation to Build a Sustainable Planet

[scorpionlafemme]

Your boundaries, schedules, discipline, habits and routines = your life’s outcome. They are everything!

[the-joy-of-knowledge]

25 Laws of power for women

Conceal your goals especially the ones that are appealing. Losing weight, reinventing yourself, marrying wealthy. Instead talk about your altruistic goals - to help children, invest in education, this will chase insecure people with vile intentions.

Do not give anyone your source of power: Was is a book that changed your life? a mentor? a movie? Never give up your secret to success. If forced to do say allude to God, the universe, the a random phenomenon

Use the patriarchy to your favor; we live in a world that is, only associate with men who have power, use that power for good.

Never appear too perfect but be selectively vulnerable when needed. Only share something that you will be comfortable saying. You might say “I forget my keys all the time,” “I don’t know how to perfectly park a car “. But never disclose something you are not comfortable with just because you are afraid of being perfect.

Maintain distance in relationships. Friends are the best and you need them. But if you feel that they are becoming too dependent, see them at your own will. But also the reverse could be the case. Your friend may keep a distance, and that is the way of life. You have got to move on from it.

Develop your own style that makes you unique, beautiful, and elegant. Avoid trying to fit in the crowd of people who claim to care less about their style yet have too many opinions about other women’s style

Avoid male friends at all cost, you will have male colleagues, male bosses, male acquaintances, business partners. Keep it that way. You do not want a Truman Capote divulging your secrets to the world. Do not keep a man who does not fit your standard.

You do not have to win at every game. Pick and choose what is best for you and leave room for others. And step down if you have attained that level of success, do not let the society do it for you.

Trust people but remember that we are all humans. So trust with discretion!

Confuse people with kindness; people are not always comfortable with beautiful and intelligent women. That power is too intimidating so confuse them by being genuinely generous, curious, kind, and passionate.

Keep your strong opinions to yourself.. if you support a movement, a way of life, do so silently.

We all have dirty laundry, wash them privately, don’t expose yourself. Remain silent when people try to attack you or shame you. Whatever is not confirmed is not true. You are the only one who knows all the truth about you.

Don’t attract pity or praise: People who pity you do not help you, in fact they might think that you are weak and could mock you at their annual gossipping meeting. And if you are doing things for the sake of praise you are wasting your time.

Choose yourself all the time; never put any one’s feelings above yours.

Trust your own intuition if you feel someone is being malicious towards you, giving you back handed compliments then you should let them go

Never speak bad of another woman. Do not lazy around gossipping. Keep your hands clean and your conscience clear.

Avoid women with low self esteem they will bring you down. For some reason they do not like seeing other women who are doing better than them

Be careful who you seek validation from. Not everyone needs to be pleased. If they are in no way capable of contributing to your life in the ways you prefer, then don’t ask them for their opinions or please them.

Do not compete with other women, if you do you are only putting them on a pedestal. You are making the the standard by which you measure your progress. If you do compete, begin digging your grave.

Do not give unsolicited advice, do not share the inner workings of your mind, If your mouth is very charitable you better start journaling.

Be well-rounded and interesting. It attracts people. It also keeps you busy because you are continually improving and learning. An idle mind is an easily subdued one.

Avoid women who want to live vicariously through you; they want to know who you know, shop where you shop, befriend who you befriend, wear what you wear.

Pay attention to the source of your discomfort; get rid of them. You tell them your dreams and they remind you of all your hindrances. They ask why are you dressed so fancy as though fancy isn’t subjective. They undermine you interests and goals. They will also be quick to bring you down because they are afraid of your potential.

Do not fear power or please power. When we see powerful people we try to hard to befriend them, to be close to them but you need to be comfortable without them. Don’t push yourself in the name of friendship, do not try too hard to be in their inner circle. Your independence of mind is the most important. Instead become a powerful woman, aloof to the presence of power but aware of its importance. Be an ingenious and intelligent and use your creativity to uplift yourself. When you do so it will be hard to ignore you. Even the powerful will become an ally.

Enjoy moments of solitude. Use that time to develop yourself, improve your body, learn new skills, create with your mind, read widely, become more elegant, then launch yourself.

Remember the most powerful women are the most intelligent. Inspired by Robert Greene's 48 Laws of Power. Use at your discretion.

[pposhspice-deactivated20240309]

So good!

[middleeasterndime-deactivated20]

It’s pathological that people who create endless moodboards and spend hours upon hours searching for visual ‘inspo’ on Pinterest are seen as somehow motivated or accomplished. How the hell does wasting time looking for niche motivating ‘aesthetic’ pictures of a lifestyle make you more motivated or mean that you’re ‘manifesting’ anything. This collective presumption that’s seemed to fester on social media needs to be done with. It’s so asinine I can scarcely even believe it. Actually DOING things is what counts.

[diamondthedime-deactivated20250]

The Strategic Steps of Lori Harvey

A Urtoospoiled Feminine Analysis

Disclaimer: I do not know this woman in real life nor in my imagination. I’m solely concluding an opinion based on celebrities making their business public. Viewers discretion is advised.

Lori Harvey has been making boss moves lately and I’m not going to lie, I’ve been taking a few notes. Not all children of celebrities know how to monetize their inherited status and stay in the spotlight. Lori (and her team) are building her image by allowing her to live her life while using the media’s curiosity and slight obsession to her advantage.

This analysis is definitely for the gworls who are looking to become influencers/soon to be socialites. We shall be discussing dating up, social media strategy and what Urtoospoiled would advise for you to do to embody this energy.

Let’s discuss the strategic steps of Lori Harvey:

Uses Social Media as a Portfolio

One thing I’ve noticed about Lori Harvey is that she doesn’t post every day nor outfit paparazzi snaps her in. If it’s not to promote a brand, her business or stir up a buzz, she’s not posting it and that’s something I’ve had to copy myself. It’s strategic. It keeps your followers wanting more with every post while setting the boundary of not being an open book.

In addition, her social media photos are professional quality and aesthetically pleasing. This is important to have a polished social media so brands are confident that their product(s) will be showcased in a similar quality. Keep your regular day to day photos for your story and highlights but try to keep your feed organized and again, of professional quality.

Known For Her Silence

It was even trending on Twitter how nobody knew what Lori sounded like, despite her family having a whole reality show when she was a teen. It’s important to say minimal online, in interviews and events. I saw a IG story of her watching the Super Bowl with friends and ironically enough she looks like she’s far from the shy one in the group. Say less, get more done.

She has had multiple random irrelevant men like Boosie comment on her unprovoked. Instead of firing back, she simply remains silent and leaving the public itching for a response. That’s how you play it.

Having a public platform means that you consent to outsider opinions about you. Sometimes it’s tempting to reply to a nasty comment or when you become big time, sometimes it’s people doing outright interviews using your name. You need to have the self control to not respond, at least not immediately.

Dating Up Strategically

There’s no need to do a timeline of her dating history, so I’ll start from the public seeing her with Diddy- though I roll my eyes at the men in particular I can’t deny that she’s clearly doing a bit of thinking of her image prior to making any public moves. She knows she’s going to be seen, at some point at least. Therefore, she makes sure to be seen with the right people.

Moving on to Future, she was super smart utilizing Future’s platform and fan base to introduce her consumers to her brand. Many of us were reintroduced to Lori via Future’s IG post:

Not only did she use his platform, but she also had a girls trip on his dime with content that really help boost her brand. That was a viral moment on social media, having her featured on urban and rap blogs which is why I say it’s strategic.

She’s stepping away from her parents shadow while utilizing the privilege of her last name. She’s a socialite, so she knows who she dates is important, however the French kiss moment is her transition from Future to Michael B Jordan.

To the media, it was a well executed play of a damsel in distress. She’s recently split from a notorious bad boy with a not so great reputation that feeds into the profits of his music and is now linked to an established Hollywood actor. That was well played and I’m predicting that she will have a similar chess move soon.

Becoming A Socialite vs Standard Celebrity Kid

You see, not every child of a star can be a star themselves. Many choose not to be.

There are multiple Harvey children however Lori is the sibling in the forefront and is utilizing that to her advantage. She’s making moves and I respect how she’s establishing a serious brand for herself. She’s been featured on panels, her skincare is actually a good start (Lori if you’re reading this, you’re cool but it’s a fairly basic product and I would jump to support when there’s more active and effective ingredients) and with joining TikTok, she’s now expanding her audience.

You can tell she has worked on her craft. From her poses, to her interviews, to her wardrobe. There are very few people I recommend to take note of on your leveling up journey however Lori is definitely one of them.

We know plenty children of celebrities who try their hardest to be a socialite but always fall short. Lori is utilizing the privilege of her last name (and looks) in order to secure her legacy from the ground running. This is how new money lives long enough to become old money and that should be all of our goals. There’s a new generation of oil, diamond mining and gold money (tech, for example) and I can’t help but point out the old money etiquette in her moves, especially coming from a black family.

My advice to you is to study those who are doing it right, especially if you have no real life examples. I don’t know about y’all, but my goal is to leave a legacy so my last name rings bells for eons to come.

Scripting Prompt: It’s 33 years from now and you’re sitting in your desired location (dream home, vacation location, etc.) reflecting back on your life for the past three decades. What have you accomplished? What blessings occurred? What manifestations finally came into fruition? Go deep and be creative!

[windonthewaters]

[straydollblog]

Personal productivity/self love tips

Fuck the clean girl influencers that just post their perfect life, choose to be inspired by influencers who show their difficulties and help you how to really improve

Don't put extreme goals for yourself to achieve, that girl aesthetic that does everything and never fails is impossible and unrealistic, you are human

Don't waste another morning watching other people's lives instead of getting up and doing something more useful

The first thing you will do when waking up its drink a glass of water, it takes oxygen to the brain and makes you wake up faster

Focus in one goal, wanting to achieve several goals at once will make you procrastinate more and not achieve anything

Set a timer for your apps, it makes your be more aware of how much time you're spending on each app

Make a list of gifts to give yourself when you achieve a goal, it gives you motivation to achieve it faster

If you can't improve for yourself, at least improve to be a healthier person and present in the lives of the people you care about

If u can sleep 8+ hours, do it, put your phone down and sleep

Apples! They'll boost your energy and immunity so much

Self care isn't selfishness

Uninstall any app that makes you compare yourself

Don't hear people that ashame you and call you a "pick me", they're just unhappy and jealous of you because you show who you really are, love the things you love and keep being like that, don't change because someone thinks ur being "embarrassing"

That's it for the day, don't be hard to yourselves, luv ya💐