walking travesty

I'm Emilie. I like bands and frozen yogurt and that's pretty much it. ~used to be burnallthis~

[done]

[d1ssimilis]

i basically assume that people don’t like me unless they explicitly tell me they like me and then periodically remind me

[lewinsky2016]

me: *flirts w/ someone* them: *flirts back* me: woah calm tf down im not interested…………

[refinery29]

[tepitome]

Obama drops the dad joke of 2015.

[shittyidea]

Dick-flavoured condoms

[earthdad]

two worms at dinner

worm 1: my oh my this tastes like dirt

worm 2: it is(:

worm 1: (:

[earthdad]

two worms at dinner

worm 1: my oh my this tastes like dirt

worm 2: it is(:

worm 1: (:

[onlytwitterpics]

[vinegalore]

[itsbetterthananal]

this vine haunts me

[annabellehectorsworldofweird]

[mkultrafemme-deactivated2024031]

[0orkewjvrfwedr-deactivated20130]

i once took my 14 year old cousin to a ke$ha concert for her birthday. half way through the concert ke$ha screams “STOP.” the music stopped, the audience stopped and ke$ha goes “I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING.” then everyone waited to see what ke$ha could have realized, mid song, mid concert. when ke$ha goes “i just realized….THERE’S NOT ENOUGH GLITTER ON THESE TITTIES” and a guy with a small bucket came out and poured so much glitter on those titties, that he saved the concert. 

[mysteriousrobitarchive]

i just learned this and have to share it with the world. the captain of a ship can officiate marriages, but the 1st mate can also officiate marriges if the captain is the one getting married. and the 2nd mate can also officiate marriages if the captain and the 1st mate are marrying each OTHER

[desuke-dragon-queen-blog]

I don’t know when I will ever use this information but I am glad I have it

[upsidedownjopper]

[taestysuga]

Cosmo, even tho a little problematic, teaches me so much about blow jobs than porn ever had I give my life to Cosmo

[90snokia]

the lil dude from the fairy odd parents?

[iwillnotremember]

You: *calls me ugly*

Me: *hopes you ain’t driving with that fucked up vision*

[worthyironman]

someone: are you ok?

me: [pouring gasoline on myself] yeah why do you ask?