𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥.
pairing: royalty!oikawa x afab!reader
genre: royal au, angst w/happy ending, fluff
w/c: 10.7k (help me)
warnings: swearing (lmk if there should be more !)
synopsis: sick and tired of the looming castle walls, tooru decides to adventure outwards. somewhere he wasn't allowed to go. dressed as a young 'peasant' boy tooru comes across the delicious smell of fresh baked bread. considering he was starving he marched right in demanding a loaf of bread, forgetting he wasn't in normal attire. you, the daughter of the baker, found him a headache but also amusing. I mean what source of entertainment can you get when you're so poor?
"I am your prince!"
"...then why are you dressed like that?"
(lowercase intended)
slightly based on 'ceilings' by lizzy mcalpine
a/n: this isn't proofread so there may be careless mistakes! the synopsis doesn't comprehend how much angst there will be... I made this fic as an excuse to not sleep...got this idea at 2 am so T_T honestly since hq is coming back(?) soon I just want my home boy back...
I also apologise for not getting this done sooner i don't know why it took me so long.. anyways enjoy!
btw can you spot a manwha reference too?
NOT PROOF READ!
taglist: @tooruchiiscribs @qualitygiantshoepsychic @sillykawa @rukia-uchiha-98 @softcd @misfit-megumi @suzizanne
"sit here and reminisce about your actions. I have a lot of things to do today," the king calmly demanded tooru as he whined and grumbled, dragging him by the arm to his room.
"I just wanted to play, you're always so busy and nee-san is always holding tea parties with her friends!" tooru exclaimed, crossing arms.
"you'll understand in the future. when you’re king, you'll always be busy."
"what if I don't want to be king? I want to be a knight! I want to be free and keep my friends safe, as well as you and nee-san," tooru proudly said to his father, as if convincing him that taking the throne was what he wasn't destined for.
the king mockingly laughed, not taking tooru's words seriously.
"keep an eye on him, don't let him leave this room until I come back," stated the king to the guard outside who gave a quick nod.
"of course, your highness."
"i'll be off then tooru, behave."
with the creak of the closing door tooru sprawled his arms across the bed as he flumped down, a sour look on his face staring into the ceiling.
"behave tooru! oh, look at me being too busy being a king that I don't even have time for my son!" mocks tooru, reminiscing about his father's stern words rather than his own actions.
i mean, it wasn't his fault that he 'accidentally' hit his great-grandfather's statue. it wasn’t as if he was trying to catch anyone's attention. it wasn't his fault he was alone most of the day, except when the royal tutor came. it wasn’t his fault that the dreams of becoming a knight got disregarded as soon as he even said the word 'knight', as if it wasn’t an option.
tooru had to practically beg his father for swordsmanship lessons, even though he was so young, desperately clinging to his dream of becoming a knight. why? to be free from his fate, his destiny and yet his father still said no.
"king this, king that, why not knight this, knight that?" questioned tooru, still huffing from his father's words.
he doesn't even want to be king anyway. the responsibility of it seemed trapping as if he'd be a bird in a cage with everyone watching his every move.
silently staring at the ceiling with a blank face, tooru decides on an escape plan. except this time he'll escape to the city. the place where his father told him to never go.
"you'll catch a deadly disease! how will you train to be a knight?"
the memory passed through his mind.
"how am I supposed to be a knight anyway whenever I'm always confined in this boring palace?" tooru thought out loud.
knights are daring and dashing and most importantly loved by all. if tooru wanted to be a knight, he'd have to be a little adventurous and brave.
"if mother was here she'd let me go," says tooru, quietly reassuring himself that his decision was beneficial and ethical.
finding old clothes from the back of his wardrobe, he tried his best to make himself an unroyal attire. with a bit of tearing in certain parts tooru proudly stood in front of his mirror with his disguise, ready for operation: escape to town.
"soo original tooru.."
..·:*¨༺ ♚ ༻¨*:·.
tooru's ears perked up to the sound of the bustling streets of the city, his eyes lighting up with excitement as crowds of people strolled up and down the street. some frantically buying groceries from the local market, some sitting outside having a beverage of choice whilst talking with the person opposite, laughing at each other's comments.
this is way more fun than the palace thought tooru, as he gazed around.
alas, with the growl of his stomach, tooru then realised how he barely had any food that day as he was having too much fun causing chaos at the palace.
"i should've brought money for food, why am i so dumb?!," tooru whines, whilst ruffling his hair out of frustration.
the feeling of his empty stomach made tooru more impatient until he smelt a whiff of something delicious. following the scent like a delirious zombie, tooru came to a halt when he came across a bakery. as he opened the door a ding came from a bell and his eyes landed upon a girl, which he assumed to be his age, putting some sort of pastry in an oven until she realised the presence of tooru and quickly wiped her floury hands, rushing towards him.
"hello, sir, welcome to shokupan. unfortunately, you're visiting during our closing hours, would you like to leave in an order for tomorrow?" she asks with a click of a pen, smiling at tooru as he processes what she just asked.
"i need that loaf of bread," demanded tooru pointing to the freshly baked milk bread on the counter, ignoring the girl’s question.
following tooru's finger, the girl realised what he was asking for and nervously chuckled.
"o-oh! i'm sorry but that isn't to be bought by anyone except the man that ordered it earlier. may i ask again if you want to order anything for tomorrow?" she asks again.
by now tooru's patience was wearing thin. with an awful combination of an empty stomach and tired legs, he started to grow irritated but so were you. yes, you. the baker's daughter.
with your father off for deliveries, you had to look after the bakery; taking orders everyday, making the dough and baking most of the bread yourself. with a job like this, it can get very tiring easily. especially with ignorant customers but that was rare. until today, where you had the 'fortunate' opportunity to stumble across a hungry and grumpy tooru.
"i don't want or need anything for tomorrow. what i need is that bread - so would you just give it to me?" demanded tooru once again.
you sighed, putting a hand to your forehead being physically and mentally exhausted from the hard work and now him.
"as i've said before, sir, i can't just give you a loaf of bread. if you don't want to order anything i'll have to ask you to leave so that i can close up the bakery," and with that you began to head back to the kitchen.
"you don't understand, i need that bread now! i'm dying of hunger, don't you pity me?" pleaded tooru with furrowed eyebrows, desperate for a bite of that delicious looking bread.
"look, there are many people who wander in and out of the bakery looking for pastries but unfortunately i can't give you it without permission from my boss. it's just how business runs around here," you shrugged, used to the situation.
normally, you'd give him a loaf of free bread, however word got out that you gave out free bread to those who couldn't afford it and an upburst happened causing the bakery to be shut down for a whole week. your father was certainly not happy about what happened but was glad that you were charitable and sympathetic to the people.
of course tooru had no idea this happened, he never read the newspapers anyway as they were too boring to him. he'd rather run around the palace causing chaos.
with tooru in desperate need of food he decided to play his trump card.
he cleared his throat and proudly stated, "although i may not look like it, i am actually prince tooru of the oikawa family, ruler of this city and province. as of now i may not look like the part, because i am on a very special mission, but i can reassure you that this is your dear prince."
with a small hair flip and a smug smile tooru awaited an apology but instead found you laughing hysterically like a hyena.
offended, tooru immediately questions, "w-what's wrong? you should be cowering before me and asking for my forgiveness, why are you laughing like a maniac?"
obviously you couldn't reply, still holding your stomach as you try to catch your breath from laughing too much.
"b-because…." you began but immediately started laughing again.
tooru scoffed, flabbergasted at your behaviour and disrespect to him as a royal. you were just a commoner and he was royalty, how dare you mock him like this?
"i don't know why you think this is hilarious but i am not lying. i am your prince!" proclaimed tooru, tired of your actions.
calming yourself down with a shaky breath out, you look at (a very annoyed) tooru up and down.
"if you really are the prince, which is very unlikely considering that this is the west side of the city, then why are you dressed like that?" you questioned, suspicious of his manner and clothes.
confused, tooru stops glaring at you and begins to analyse his outfit and quickly realises what you meant.
"oh…."
you chuckle in disbelief and maybe even pity, thinking he's gone mad already as a teenager.
"yeah, oh."
embarrassingly, tooru took off the smug look off his face and cleared his throat.
"you're not doing a very good job at convincing me prince tooru," you mocked, cheekily smiling at him.
"maybe i need more time to enhance my skills," tooru replies with an eye roll.
what a pity you thought, he was really entertaining. you wondered if he did acting as a job.
“well, i guess this is the part where i go,” tooru awkwardly began as he slowly turned to walk out the door, mostly out of embarrassment and the need to get home. his father would be furious if he found him dressed like this.
"wait just a second," you frantically said, trying to catch up with him, after grabbing something from the counter.
he anxiously turns, not wanting to be humiliated even more. however, to his delight you handed him a paper bag filled with a loaf of milk bread. you could immediately see how his demeanour changed and how his eyes lit up, almost as if there were stars in them.
"c-can i really have this?" asked tooru, with saliva already threatening to drip from his mouth.
"of course, i'm not that cruel. plus, i saw you eyeing up the milk bread from earlier. you looked like you really couldn't live without it. i’ll just make another batch for the old man," you replied with a small smile, mentally reminding yourself to not tell your father about this. who knows what would happen.
relief spread across tooru's face.
"thank you…?"
"ah - i'm y/n."
"thank you y/n," tooru replies with a wide smile, grateful for the milk bread.
with a bright smile, you waved goodbye to tooru as the bell of the door rang once again, indicating he was leaving to your dismay.
"come back soon!" you called out to tooru, secretly wishing to see him again tomorrow.
happily chewing on the milk bread, tooru smiled to himself filled with content, glad of the encounter and his courage to adventure off.
his father certainly wouldn't be pleased if he found out.
..·:*¨༺ ♚ ༻¨*:·.
it was the following day and you couldn't help but secretly wait for a certain someone to come through the door. most of your customers were regulars so it was usually the same people saying the same things that you already knew about even when you'd make conversation asking,"anything new happen?" and with them replying with,"it's always the same old y/n."
it was pretty boring in the west end, except for all the crime that's been lurking around. the ring of the bell came and you turned around, only to be met by the same boy from yesterday. you were ecstatic to see the brown haired boy again. swiftly walking over to him you greet him with another milk bread you made just for him.
"well if it isn't the prince tooru, gracing me with his presence again," you sarcastically say, with a little courtesy.
it wasn't until you got a proper look at him that you realised how he was panting, trying to catch his breath and the plum bruise on his face.
tooru saw how fast your reaction to the bruise was, as your eyes started to fill with worry and concern. with furrowed eyebrows you hesitantly touched his face and he backed away.
"i'm so sorry tooru I didn't mean to-"
"no-no it's fine y/n don't worry, I don't know why I backed up in the first place," he reassuringly said.
although, in reality he backed away because he got nervous when you touched him. it felt comforting, which was a foreign emotion to tooru ever since his mother passed away.
"are you okay? how'd you get the bruise? did something happen?" you asked, bombarding him with questions, wondering how he ended up like this.
tooru found it really heart-warming how you only knew him for less than twenty-four hours and yet you showed so much concern for him. most of the maids in the palace only cared about his safety so that they wouldn't get fired by the king. to have someone genuinely worry about him made him feel as if he was valued as a human being, instead of "the king's son" or "the heir to the throne".
he actually got the bruise by accidently bumping into a gang that didn't look very pleased with him. he ran as fast as he could, screaming his lungs out.
"not very knightly of you tooru," he thought.
he made sure to not tell you about this.
he softly smiled at you as he said, "nothing, don't worry about it,"
not wanting to pry anymore, you let it go although you were still sceptical about the ordeal.
"well, if you say so. how about we enjoy the milk bread i prepared for you? it's a slow day today so we can sit down and have a chat outside," you insisted, leading tooru outside.
..·:*¨༺ ♚ ༻¨*:·.
throughout the next few months you both continued to meet each other. with tooru sneaking out the palace more often and you already having freshly baked milk bread just for him. your father would get suspicious, catching you smiling to yourself at random times of the day whenever he was at the bakery but brushed it off as he was glad to see you happy rather than tired from all the work he gave you.
with your father starting to help more at the bakery than doing deliveries, you decided to pick a new meetup spot with tooru so that you two could talk with as much freedom as possible. without your father glaring at tooru as he did with his first encounter with him.
you showed him your hidden gem, a place where you would run to when the world would overwhelm you. your safe haven. urging tooru to go in first, his eyes were blessed with a charming peaceful meadow, secluded from society which was a good thing, as its beauty was preserved for you to see and now tooru. surprisingly you haven't even shown your father this heaven but you willingly led tooru here.
there was something about this milk bread obsessed boy that made you feel as if you could trust him. you've had male friends before but they would always tease you that you were a one trick pony as you could only bake but barely cook to save your life.
“ugh! I keep burning the bacon….” you grumbled, looking over to the pile of burnt bacon on the counter.
"just stick to baking y/n, it's the only thing you're good at," matsukawa slyly said, with the classic smirk of his which resulted in a loud smack to his head. he deserved it.
they never took you seriously. until tooru came along and changed your perspective. yes, he would be very arrogant at some points but alas that was just how he was and without it he wouldn't be as charming. it also brought out a new side of you, where you would make snarky remarks to him which would end in the both of you hugging your stomachs from laughing or tooru pouting.
relaxing down on a light patch of grass, you began talking about the future, a common topic in your conversations to tooru's dismay but it ended up helping him release his bottled up problems.
"i feel bad," you began, in a soft tone.
"why? you've done nothing except give me happiness," he questioned, confused by your sudden statement.
flustered by the choice of words that he used, you averted your eyes. clearing your throat you continued,”i always complain about my life and talk about my problems and yet you never get the chance to talk sometimes, when we talk about the future or anything serious in general.”
realising how insensitive you sound, your eyes widen and turn to tooru to apologise.
“i didn’t mean that-i mean I did but not in that context. of course you don’t have to talk about touchy subjects in your life if you don’t want to,” you paused for a second, trying not to panic and calmly collect your thoughts.
“I guess what i'm trying to say is, you can talk to me. you can talk about anything, other than your love for the milk bread i give you,” that earned a chuckle from tooru.
You grin, pleased that you received a positive reaction from him.
“i know we’ve only been friends for quite a while and i whole-heartedly understand if you feel a bit uncomfortable with all of this. just know I’ll always be here tooru,” you concluded, slightly embarrassed by what you said.
"aww….y/n, you care so much about me huh?" teased tooru, although he secretly soaked up all your words.
you sulked, embarrassed at your actions and mostly how tooru reacted to what you said but also not very surprised by his antics. tooru was busy laughing at your demeanour.
"sorry y/n, i didn't want to ruin the moment by laughing but i am really touched I swear!" tooru explained.
"i poured my heart and soul into that and you're here making fun of me!" you grumbled, purposely exaggerating your words so that he'd apologise soon.
tooru's laugh rang in your ears and he quickly apologised for teasing you.
"don't worry y/n, i listened very carefully. you have no idea how much I appreciate you."
just as you were about to say "thank you", tooru continued.
"mostly because of the milk bread you bake for me but don't worry i also appreciate the company just not as much as the bread," he cheekily said, earning a smack in the back of his head from you.
"ouch! what was that for?" he whined.
"i’m not give you milk bread anymore," you replied with a stone face.
tooru gasped and started pleading for your mercy, trying to flatter you with compliments as you got up from the dented grass and started walking away from him.
"y/n you're an angel, you know that right?"
"yes tooru i know i am. now stop clinging onto my cardigan or else I'll feed you raw dough instead."
you only gave into his pleas when he started bowing down to you in the middle of the street when you were trying to ignore him.
"almighty y/n, i am a sinful man begging for your forgiveness. please give me a loaf of milk bread."
"tooru people are starting to look, please get up," you hurryingly pleaded.
he gave you one last glance and in return you gave him a dirty look, already fed up with his act.
"almighty y/n, please listen to my prayer-"
"fine, fine! i'll give you free milk bread again…"
"oh thank you! almighty-"
"i'm seriously going to punch you."
--- ✧
the day ended with tooru beaming with happiness as he ate his milk bread, and you sat across from him once again with your hand resting against your chin gazing upon his figure. you never understood why your milk bread was so special to him but you were glad that you could make him happy in some sort of way.
"maybe I should start charging you, we might just go bankrupt from all the free bread we've given you," you teased, already knowing what he'd say.
"well it isn't my fault that they taste so good!" tooru whined.
you giggled and went back to staring at him, appreciating his beauty. the way his smooth skin glistened against the withering glows of the sun, the way his lips parted to take a bite of the bread, the way his brown eyes would melt into golden rays as the sunlight hit his face. how on earth could this boy in front of you be a commoner when his looks alone could help him get a job easily?
"you know you're really pretty tooru, even when you have a lot of crumbs on your face," you randomly said as you focused on specific parts of his face.
tooru almost choked on the milk bread, surprised at your sudden statement.
"of course i'm pretty. i am a prince after all," he nervously chuckled trying to cover up his flustered expression.
"are you still acting as if you're a prince?" you questioned, amused that he’s still keeping up the act.
with a smug face, tooru replied,"when the time comes and you see that i am a prince, you will be so shocked and i'd laugh right in your face."
you rolled your eyes as you thought,"yeah right. as if a prince would be sitting right in front me, stuffing his face with the milk bread that i baked. tooru is seriously unbelievable."
it wasn't until a year later that it became believable. specifically, on his eighteenth birthday.
..·:*¨༺ ♚ ༻¨*:·.
"be careful with those plates!"
"which colour would you like your highness? celeste or baby blue?"
"would you like chocolate or vanilla frosting on the cake, your highness?"
the palace was clearly bustling with noise and excitement. why? because it’s tooru’s special eighteenth birthday tomorrow.
tooru hadn't realised it until a while ago but his heart started to soften more and more at every encounter you two had.
maybe it was because of the countless amounts of milk bread you would prepare for him which made tooru question if you were making it with the intent of seeing him (probably not). sure, all the chefs and maids in the palace prepared the most luxurious food for him but it just felt the same with every meal but it was somehow different with you.
maybe it was because of the uplifting conversations you would have, where you both could voice your thoughts and opinions on a variety of subjects with no worries of being judged. tooru swore at himself, wondering what he'd gotten himself into and yet he still consciously ventured further, wanting to learn more about you, other than you being a baker's daughter. you didn't know his true identity and yet you were so thoughtful towards him.
although, it felt selfish as he couldn't truthfully tell you his identity, he continued to pursue a growing friendship whilst walking home with a guilty heart each time he saw you. he was addicted. now that he was turning eighteen, tooru couldn’t hide it any longer. he had to tell you, one way or another. before it was too late and before he’d have to go back to the life he had without you. a boring, uneventful life.
--- ✧
“why didn't i sleep early last night?” you questioned yourself, yawning for what felt like the hundredth time.
honestly, you stayed up last night because you knew it was tooru's birthday tomorrow and you were crocheting a scarf for the first time, even though it was the middle of summer. you couldn’t just bring him to the meadow and eat ice cream and milk bread all day like all the other years you spent celebrating his birthday. no, it had to be something different, something that no one else could give him and something that you've never done before especially since he was now getting to the age of marriage.
you were in the middle of putting the classic milk bread that you’d make for tooru in the oven when you heard the ring of the doorbell as it opened. you didn’t recognise the person making his way towards you but he looked oddly familiar.
with another yawn you groggily said,”hello welcome to shokupan, what can i get for you?”
“uh- y/n?” he spoke, as if he was confused.
you lazily smiled and looked up to the man, “yup that’s me, what can i-,” it was only then that you realised that this stranger knew your name and only then you realised who exactly it was.
your tired eyes quickly shot open, as if you got electrocuted. it was tooru, but he was dressed so magnificently. a bright, shining suit adorned his figure; gold shoulder pads showing off his broad shoulders; perfectly combed hair that would usually be messy and unkempt.
"t-tooru?" you whispered, wondering if you were still dreaming. was this really your tooru?
he chuckled,"yes n/n, it's really me," whilst sarcastically posing for you. however, you couldn't respond. you were speechless.
"y/n? are you okay?" tooru asked, concerned but also amused at your unresponsive state.
as tooru's words went in one ear and out the other you got out of your tranced state and started firing questions at tooru, "why are you dressed like that? where'd you get the money? did you loan the money? tooru you can't use all your savings on a suit, what about food?"
tooru couldn't contain his laughter any longer and bursted out laughing.
"what's so funny about spending all your money on something you don't even need?!" you exclaimed, eyebrows furrowed as you tried to make sense of tooru's actions.
as tooru's laugh died down, he gazed at you with a smug smile.
"i told you before that one day i'd show you that i'm a prince and that you'd never believe me. so here i am y/n, prince tooru of the oikawa family, inviting you to attend a ball tomorrow to celebrate my birthday," he gracefully bowed down whilst holding out an envelope towards you which you hesitantly took from him.
carefully, you observed the envelope, wondering if tooru was actually a prince or if he was just playing one of his silly games on you again. you knew your answer as soon as you flipt the envelope to shockingly fix your eyes on the royal seal, a four leaf clover crest. anybody could recognise as the city was adorned with the symbol. in disbelief, you lifted your head to tooru with wide eyes.
“you…” you started, trying to comprehend everything with your already jumbled mind.
“i’m?” tooru replied, anxious to see your reaction.
“you’re a prince,” you whispered, not believing your own words.
slowly, the cogs were starting to work in your brain, the pieces of the puzzle were connecting. why haven't you noticed? tooru always implied it even in your first encounter. there were many other reasons too on why he’d be a prince; he always had to leave early or he was late; the amount of times you’ve patched him up without you knowing that it was because of his swordsmanship lessons last year; the way he was able to read sophisticated words and write with very neat handwriting, which commoners couldn't do simply because they didn't have the money for the education; the way he never showed you where he lived or where he was from; the way he never talked about himself during your conversations. it all made sense and yet you were too dense to even realise it. you were angry and disappointed with yourself.
“why didn’t you tell me sooner?” you questioned, wondering if he thought of you as a person who couldn't be trusted.
“well, i guess i just…” he paused and took a breath in.
“i was scared, y/n. maybe even terrified, that you wouldn't want to talk to me anymore or that you’d hate me, and i completely understand if you do now because i just basically lied to you throughout our whole friendship which is so stupid and idiotic of me and i’m so, so sorry y/n. i cherish you so much and i don't want to lose you, so please don't ever think that i never trusted you because i do, wholeheartedly.”
tooru finished and waited for you to talk or say anything, but you just stared at him in disbelief.
"y/n, please say something," tooru pleaded, his fist tightening against his chest as he grew more anxious.
"does your father know?" you asked.
"what? of course not he'd go crazy if he did-"
"oh my god tooru, you're unbelievable," you muttered, with your fingers pressing on your temple.
"what? y/n i just told you why i didn't want to reveal my identity, you know my father would go crazy if he found out i was sneaking away," tooru reasoned, trying to calm down the situation by reaching out for your hand but you slapped it away, still not comprehending the situation.
"yes tooru, and i understand that, if you weren't a prince. this completely changes everything, you know that right? what if someone saw us and reported it to your father? you'd be in great trouble and don't even get me started on how i'd probably be the talk of the city. a laughing stock. i mean, a commoner being friends with a prince? ha! how ridiculous," you rambled, looking away and staring down at your feet.
"y/n, look at me," tooru softly asked, gently lifting your chin up so you could meet his eyes. your breath hitched as he stared right at you, as if he could read your every thought.
"it doesn't matter if i'm a prince or if you're a commoner. even if my father finds out, I won't let any harm come to you. i'll do everything in my power to make sure you're safe."
"tooru-"
"i'm not done. just because you're a 'commoner' doesn't mean you aren’t worth anything less. you're y/n, my y/n and that's all that matters. i don't care about titles. fuck being a prince, it doesn't matter as long as i'm with you. as long as you're here."
you both became silent as tooru awaited a response and you were still processing what he just confessed to you. tooru sighed and let go of you, turning away and hiding his face from you, embarrassed at himself.
"tooru," you started, still finding the right words to say to him.
"if i have to be honest, i'm disappointed not only in you but for myself. it feels as if you just used me as a way to escape from your own life. i really, really enjoy your company tooru and you made my life so much more exciting and enjoyable, and even thinking about what we’d have in plan to do helped me get out of bed in the morning but now, i do not know what to think anymore. not only that, but the fact that you’ve hinted at it all this time and yet i was too dumb to even realise it. was this all a joke to you?" you questioned, your chest tightening at your own words, hoping he’d contradict with you.
“y/n…none of this was ever a joke and i can’t even truly express my gratitude to your very own existence with just simple minded words. from our first encounter to even now, the only person i’ve wanted to see was you. you’ve never once left my mind,” his eyes softened before his mouth came to a fine line, you could physically see his lips quiver as he awaited your response.
you finally let go of the breath you’ve unconsciously been holding and came face to face with the boy who made you feel an array of emotions that you couldn’t comprehend and simply gave him a gentle hug, with your head resting on his chest hearing his quickened heartbeat drumming in your ear.
with an awkward smile you looked up to him,”you really are scared huh?”
“god y/n, you have no idea how many times i was planning on telling you, but i would just end up getting lost in the moment and keep putting it off, until now, i really thought i screwed things up,” tooru frantically explained, letting out a sigh of relief.
although, to his horror you pierced his ears, saying, "you kind of did."
the atmosphere shifted to a chilling silence, with tooru’s bug eyed expression processing the words that you just announced and you fidgeting nervously with your hands.
“what?” tooru meekly asked, needing affirmation.
”look tooru, even if we remain as friends and keep meeting up, we’ll never go back to normal. you have to understand that. even if titles don't matter to you, they matter to everyone else. in their eyes, i’ll always be a ‘lowly’ commoner and you will always be a prince, hell maybe even king!”
“don’t you dare say that about me, i will never be king nor will i ever want to,” tooru defended, slightly raising his voice over the sensitive subject but that didn’t stop you from continuing.
“come to terms with reality tooru, this isn’t some fairy tale where i randomly get gifted a fairy godmother for christ sake. sure, it was okay when you were younger but now, really? you’re turning eighteen tomorrow, you can’t just keep skipping out on your duties as a prince,” you continued, pleading with him to see your point of view.
tooru scoffed, ”what do you know about being a prince? you’d never understand how shit i felt every time i get told off for every little mistake i made and how i know everyone secretly wished my mother survived instead of me.”
you stood still with a withering expression, your mouth parted and heart clenched with tears pricking your eyes. he never talked about this before.
“tooru, i didn’t know-”
“i was suffocating in there y/n, and you were the only one that made me feel like i wasn’t drowning with responsibilities and yet now i’m getting reminded of it again by the only person i could rely on,” he painfully expressed, solemnly looking at you, catching your watered eyes.
alas you stood your ground,
“well, as the person that you can rely on, i'm only telling you this for your own sake tooru, and yes i’m not a prince and i’m sure as hell not educated enough to understand what a prince does. however, i do know that you’ll have to get married soon now that you’re turning eighteen and i can’t keep distracting you tooru and you can’t keep running away. you’re going to have many people wanting to speak with you and important meetings to attend and you won’t have time to see me. we both know that,” your heart breaks at your own words.
tooru stood still with a pained expression. he couldn't argue with you, knowing that everything you said was true.
“wake up tooru. we aren’t fifteen anymore.”
silently, tooru sets down a wrapped box on an empty table and walks to the door without a word. all you could do was watch his doleful figure. before he stepped out into the street he stared at you without his warm brown eyes with a disappointed smile and said, ”you’re still invited you know? i already booked a carriage for you, so please come.”
The ring of the doorbell came at last, indicating his presence was gone and with that you burst out in tears with you crouching down against the counter recalling the argument between you two. were you too harsh? did you even consider tooru’s side? were you being insensitive? all these questions left your mind swirling like a spinning wheel to the point where you just laid lifeless with stinging eyes from all the salty tears.
finally finding the strength to get up, you dust yourself off the floor and spotted the clean and elegant box tooru left for you. carefully, you raised the lid upwards and you gasped surprised. sitting in the box before you was the most luxurious dress you’ve ever laid your eyes upon. sophisticated patterns adorned the purple gown with numerous delicate jewels stitched on, where if one was sold you’d no longer be a baker but instead living more comfortably.
“i’ve never seen a gown this shade before,” you astonishingly admitted, surveying the gown in your hand gently touching the rich fabric. unbeknownst to you the shade was specifically tyrian purple, a shade only the royal family wore.
peering inside you see a little rectangle note. you delicately placed the gown down on the table and opened the note.
“you’re royalty too.”
slightly grinning at the sentence you let out a light hearted sigh, letting it convince your tender heart.
“i guess i’ll be going to a ball tomorrow.”
..·:*¨༺ ♚ ༻¨*:·.
it was the day that everyone anticipated for and yet tooru wasn’t excited at all. he lost sight of all hope as of yesterday, after the argument he had with you. even his best friend iwaizumi hajime tried comforting him, in his own unique way.
“oi, it’s your own birthday try to lighten up. you look like a rotting zombie,” he pointed out.
tooru gave iwaizumi a sour look at him and miserably said, ”she isn't coming so what’s the point?”
“she? oh, you mean y/n?” iwaizumi asked, tooru gave a small nod.
“she’ll have to come, you prepared a gown and a carriage for her. how could she refuse? won’t most girls like that?”
“maybe the fact that i screwed everything over plays a major part,” tooru explained.
iwaizumi gave a puzzled look to tooru, clearly not informed of the events that happened yesterday morning. with a heavy sigh, tooru began to catch up with iwa on the unfortunate argument that occurred.
“oh i see now.”
“yeah, you’d think she’d still come?”
“after what you did? no way. i reckon it’ll take a miracle for her to attend,” iwaizumi blatantly replied, making tooru hopeless as he let out another heavy sigh with a blank stare at the floor.
“but, you’ll never know tooru. miracles can happen,” with that iwaizumi stood up from the cold cobblestone step and gave tooru a pat in the back, his steps echoing behind tooru as he continued to remain alone with his thoughts.
don’t lose hope, he thought.
it was definitely easier said than done.
--- ✧
thankfully, you weren’t alone while you were getting dolled up. your trusted friend yachi was here to help. you were fortunate enough for her to stumble upon your bakery as a middle class girl visiting the city and you both instantly connected, although you both barely saw each other as she lived outside the city but you both kept in contact with letters. as of now you both were struggling on putting on the corset.
“y/n you have to breathe in just a little bit more so i can tighten the corset fully!” yachi exclaimed, while tugging the strings to the best of her ability.
“i know yachi i’m trying my hardest!” you cried out, in pain from holding your breath in for so long.
“and…done!” yachi cheered, clapping her hands.
“how can girls wear these things everyday? i’m about to pass out,” you said, exhausted already trying to reach for a chair.
“wait y/n we aren’t done yet, you have to put the petticoat on and then the actual gown,” yachi explained, encouraging you to keep standing.
with a groan you got up and yachi assembled the gown with a blink of an eye.
“oh my god y/n you look so pretty!” yachi praised, admiring you with stars in her eyes.
you bashfully smiled at her and asked,”you really think so?”
“you’ve always been pretty y/n, oh i’ve got something for you,” she said, going into her purse to fetch an object of some sort.
“what is it?” you aksed, curious of what she prepared.
yachi hid the object with both her hands behind her back sneakily and began by saying,”well, in the letter you said that you had been given a purple gown…”
“so..?” you questioned, urging her to continue.
“so i thought i’d glamour you even more,” she explained before showing you a white sapphire necklace with a wide smile. you stared at it, mesmerised by the sheer shine it gave.
“what do you think?” yachi asked, lifting up the necklace.
“i-it’s gorgeous yachi. are you sure i’m allowed to wear it? where did you get it in the first place?” you said in disbelief while yachi laughed at you with your gaze transfixed on the necklace.
“of course you can wear it, that’s the whole reason why i brought it anyway and don’t worry about where i got it from, just be excited to wear it,” she said with a mischievous giggle that worried you, and before you could even reject her offer she was already putting it on you.
thinking you were finished you went to sit down but to your dismay yachi was in front of you holding hair pins and a comb with an ecstatic expression.
“we’re only getting started y/n!”
you nervously gulped, getting ready for the amount of pain you were about to go through.
--- ✧
chatter filled the ballroom as it continued to fill up with hundreds of guests from around the nation. tooru was trying his best to answer all the questions from all of the women surrounding him in a polite manner. although, they all were obviously there for two main reasons: status and power, as they wave their fans at him with a leering expression. however, he was solely looking for a certain someone to walk through the grand doors and for a certain someone to apologise to.
“do you have someone already in mind prince tooru?” one of the ladies asked which made the rest of them quiet, anticipating tooru’s answer.
he knew he couldn’t say yes without upsetting them all and causing a scene so he chuckled and declared, ”no, i don’t. not yet,” which caused them to erupt in ‘oohs’ and giggles, clearly glad with tooru’s response and the chance they all had to court him. although he knew in his mind that he definitely had someone he wanted to court himself.
unfortunately, that certain someone was running late. the carriage was already patiently waiting outside the bakery when you were trying to find the invitation tooru gave you yesterday but you somehow lost it. if it wasn’t for yachi’s help you probably wouldn’t have made it out the front door.
“have fun y/n! don’t forget to say yes when the prince asks for your hand in marriage!” yachi shouted to you in a cheery tone.
“oh be quiet yachi,” you jokingly said, your face heating up at her joke, embarrassed.
“i’m so sorry i’m late, i just couldn’t seem to find the invitation,” you explained to the coachman who gave you a small nod whilst helping you into the carriage.
you’ve never been in a carriage before but you’ve seen many travel back and forth from the palace at the city centre. you’ve always been in awe of them and dreamt of being in one someday and here you are now, admiring it in all its beauty. in contrast to the outside it was much smaller than you’d imagine but the seats were very comfortable for your already sore feet as they weren’t used to high-heeled shoes you were wearing.
i wonder what tooru would think.
--- ✧
it was getting further into the night and there was still no sight of you. tooru looked over to iwaizumi who was trying to communicate to tooru.
“is she here yet?” mouthed iwaizumi, as he stared at tooru still being bombarded with women.
tooru gave him a frown and shook his head. were you ever going to show up?
it was time for the first dance as the string orchestra began playing a waltz for the guests and tooru to dance to. he immediately had a line of ladies encouraging him to dance with them until one troublesome women decided to ‘accidentally’ trip into tooru’s arm into a dramatic pose that wasn’t impressive, but before he could ask if she was alright the orchestra suddenly stopped playing at the sound of the grand doors abruptly opening and everyone’s attention was averted.
“y/n, from the l/n family!” declared the attendee.
as you slowly emerged and came into everyone’s view. they all gasped and started murmuring to each other at the site of the colour of your gown.
“does this girl not have any idea what crime she’s committing?”
“she’s clearly mocking the royal family, how disrespectful!”
“who does she think she is?”
“i’ve never seen her before.”
fortunately, you couldn’t hear them as you were trying your best not to trip as you descended down the flight of steps, holding onto the railing for dear life, but you could feel all the judgemental stares they were giving you in the corner of your eye.
tooru’s heart began pounding in his chest as he saw your descending figure. muttering a quick,”i’m sorry,” to the woman he caught and helped her onto her feet and swiftly began to approach you with haste. he couldn’t let this chance slip from his fingers. not when he has a million things on his mind to say to you.
finally, you stepped down onto the polished marble floor and let out a sigh of relief and glanced up to find a pair of familiar brown eyes with a million hues, belonging to the man of the night, growing larger until they were right in front of you. not once did your eyes break contact with his.
“you made it,” he gawked, astonished at your arivial.
“i wouldn’t miss it for the world,” you beamed at him, forgetting how much you’ve wanted to see him again.
he bowed down. “would you grant me the greatest honour of joining me for my first dance of the night? only if you can handle it,” he teases, thrilled to be in the presence of you.
“you may, only if you can handle having your toes stepped on,” you tease back whilst curtseying, causing the both of you to erupt in laughter.
as tooru led you to the dance floor, all eyes were on you both as the orchestra began to play a waltz again. realising how nervous you must be, tooru gently placed his hand on your waist and held your hard reassuringly.
“just focus on me y/n. let me lead you.” you nodded, trusting in tooru to guide your inexperienced self.
tooru was true to his word as you both glided gracefully around the dance floor. he led you effortlessly, not even flinching when you would accidentally step on his foot for a brief moment. he just kept smiling at you with his gaze transfixed on your face. you couldn’t help but feel bashful.
“you look breathtaking,” tooru began, causing your face to heat up from his compliment.
“oh stop it tooru, you don’t have to say things you don’t mean,” you said, smiling down, still grateful for the compliment.
“it’s true y/n,” tooru affirmed, looking at you with a caring gaze that sent your stomach into a whirlwind.
“well, thank you. you don’t look bad yourself,” you admitted, wanting to compliment him too.
“of course, i am a prince after all,” he jokingly said, making you chuckle.
“did you plan this? us wearing matching colours,” you asked, realising the way he had the exact same shade of purple on his suit as your gown.
“and what if i did? it’s all part of my master plan,” he replied.
“your master plan of what?” you wondered, curious on what he was planning.
“you’ll see~” he retorted, causing you to sarcastically roll your eyes.
you both continued to dance in a comfortable silence until tooru abruptly broke it when he cleared his throat, getting ready to speak.
“i’m sorry y/n, for everything. i’m sorry for the lies i’ve told you about why i was always late to our meetups and why i was always getting bruises and cuts. i’m sorry for not opening up about my life sooner like you did, that wasn’t fair for you and i’m truly sorry for being the reason you cried,” he apologised.
“you saw me?” you asked, surprised that he knew.
he smiled and gazed at you,”how could i leave without taking one last glance at you,”
his words had a way of lifting an invisible weight off your chest. it felt surreal. the way he was able to enchant you with a few meek words that anyone could say, but he had his own unique charm that made you euphoric.
with a pause, tooru closed his eyes for a second, getting ready to say something.
“y/n…i-“
“tooru.”
a sudden rough, deep voice caused both of you to stop dancing and turn to see what you assumed to be tooru’s father. his demeanour sent chills down your spine as he looked at you with a stone cold expression. tooru looked irritated and turned around to face the king with a serious face as if he just switched personalities.
“father,” tooru said, in an expectant tone.
“come with me,” he demanded, turning around with his royal cloak following as it fluttered in the air.
tooru gave his father a small nod, his palms starting to become mildly sweaty. before he followed his father, he promptly turned around and held both of your shoulders and whispered,”there’s a side door near the back of the hall, exit from there and you’ll see a small stone shelter. go there and wait for me. i’ll try to be quick.”
the smell of a faint rosemary scent grew stronger as he leaned closer, his breath tickling your skin and an unexpected warmth resided on your cheek. with that he left, with you looking at his figure slowly fading away. you placed a hand to your left cheek where he laid his soft lips and rigidly exhaled. you’re full of surprises tooru, you thought.
you made haste, trying to ignore all the eyes that were on you. to your demise the same girl that tooru caught stood in your way, not moving an inch.
“excuse me ma’am, i have to get through,” you politely asked, starting to become impatient.
"you're not royalty," she accused, looking at you up and down.
"what?" you asked confused, just wanting to get out of the hall.
"you're clearly not royalty. your manners are ridiculous and you certainly don't know when to be on time, you attention seeker," she taunted, causing the crowd around you to gasp and snicker at her accusation.
to say you were peeved was an understatement. she irked you in a way no one has before. her voice was like a nagging child throwing a tantrum. it made your ears bleed. you wanted to grab her fake hair and strangle it around her neck. you would’ve if you had the chance. alas you sadly had to remain calm and collected.
“you’re just being hypocritical, miss. i’m sure everyone here saw the way you desperately threw yourself at the prince,” you retorted with a smile. the woman’s cocky expression quickly dropped to a glare.
“you lowly bitc-”
“i think that’s enough lady ayame,” iwaizumi cut in, his words silencing the crowd as he stepped out into the open.
you turned around to see the owner of the unfamiliar voice walking towards the two of you. he stopped and looked down upon the ayame with cold eyes.
“l-lieutenant iwaizumi,” she cowardly said in fear, curtseying while avoiding his gaze.
he then turned to you. you slightly jumped, scared that he’d glare at you too for causing a commotion. you were frozen in place.
“see lieutenant, she isn’t even showing her manners towards you!” ayame pointed out, trying to justify her actions.
iwaizumi didn’t bother wasting his time by talking to her. instead he raised his hand in a way to silence her in which she immediately stopped talking as he kept his eyes on you. at this point you were sweating bricks, trying to not move an inch. this isn’t what i was signing up for.
“go,” he sternly said, nudging his head to the direction of the door.
all you could reply with was a nod then you grabbed a handful of your gown and ran out, not daring to look back. i’ll have to thank him later, i almost got into a cat fight.
you were amazed at the scenery in front of you when you frantically left the hall. you suspected it to be the royal garden. you stepped down onto the footpath, hearing the therapeutic sound of flowing water from the fountain surrounded by an abundance of radiant flowers. from the dim street lights illuminating the garden, to the warm summer breeze brushing against your skin you felt ethereal and nostalgic at the same time. finally, you entered the stone shelter, still admiring the scenery in front of you as you patiently waited for tooru to arrive.
--- ✧
it must've been more than five minutes now and slowly the rain droplets began pattering against the cobblestone paths and yet it wasn’t cold at all. the summer night prevented it. you hated the humid air as it clung onto your skin, feeling sticky.
you speculated on what kept tooru so back. did his father need to talk to him about an important matter that they had to speak about in private? a thousand questions began to swirl in your mind as you started to worry.
in deep thought, you saw a tall figure approaching through the heavy rain. you stood up, squinting to make out who it was. it was tooru. you immediately started shouting his name whilst waving your hand, encouraging him to run faster. you couldn’t help but beam at his presence, excited to what he was going to tell you. he stood in front of you panting, his hair covering half his face as water dripped from his hair and clothes. he shook his hair like a dog, trying to dry himself. you screamed as you tried to backed away from the water droplets attacking you while tooru evilly laughed trying to get closer to you.
“ugh, tooru get away from me!” you shouted with a light hearted laugh, running around in circles from the small space of the shelter.
tooru laughed in response, catching you from behind with a hug. immediately, your gown started getting wet. you tried hitting his arms so he would let go but he didn’t budge.
“come on tooru, let go of me!” you whined, attempting to pry his arms open.
“hmm, i don’t think i will,” he teased, resting his head on your shoulder.
you huffed and roughly turned yourself around so you could see him, and lifted his damp hair up trying to clearly see his face until you saw a harsh red mark on his cheek. your lips parted at the realisation of why he took so long and cupped his face. this time he didn't flinch or back away.
“tooru…” you painfully started. how could he just stand there and smile at you?
“yes y/n?” he asked, gazing at you with a warm smile, not bothering to hide what you saw.
not finding any words to reply with, you just gave him a warm embrace to which he accepted. you cried deeply inside. why did you always have to see him bruised and battered?
“you don’t deserve this tooru,” you sighed.
“don’t worry about it y/n,” tooru reassuringly replied, stroking your hair.
“ it’s all my fault,” you began.
“if i hadn’t showed up none of this would’ve happened. you would still be in the hall celebrating your birthday, having the time of your life with everyone. but instead you’re stuck with me and now your reputation is most likely ruined. i mean, did you see everyone ogling us? they definitely didn’t enjoy seeing me dance with you,” you concluded with a heavy heart.
“if the world were to suddenly end in the next minute, i wouldn’t regret being stuck with you,” he professed. you couldn’t help but let out a breath of unbelief, marvelled at his statement.
“well tooru, as the next heir wouldn’t you think that you should be spending your time wisely?” you sarcastically asked, eyebrows dramatically raised trying to make him laugh.
“well y/n, i’d be glad to tell you that i’m not the heir to the throne anymore,” he retorted, mocking the same face you made to him.
“yeah sure tooru, nice joke,” you rolled your eyes at him smirking but he kept a straight face.
“that wasn’t a joke y/n,” he claimed, causing you to furrow your eyebrows.
“you’re pulling my leg,” you said dumbfounded.
tooru hysterically laughed at your expression while you stood there wide eyed.
“tooru, please tell me i heard that correctly,” you asked, wanting affirmation on the words you processed.
“what do you think i said?” he teased smirking at you.
“i think you’re lying,” you retorted.
“and why would i ever lie about that?” he asked, enjoying your flabbergasted state.
“y-you’re really not lying?” you questioned, not wanting to fall for another joke. tooru gave you an honest smile. you knew he wasn’t lying anymore.
“holy shit,” you swore out of disbelief. tooru laughed at your reaction.
“is that how you got that?” you pointing to his cheek, looking at him with empathy.
“maybe,” he teased.
“I’m being serious tooru,” you sternly said, having enough with his antics.
he sighed,”well, father called me out to talk about you first and foremost. he scolded me about inviting you and giving you that gown but i didn’t care. that wasn’t the reason why he did this though. i said that i didn’t want to be king and that i was going to leave the palace to join the army like iwaizumi and was the result,” he bashfully said scratching the back of his head.
“does this mean you’re no longer a prince?” you wondered.
“i still am by blood. i'm just not going to be king. i never intended to stay anyway,” he explained.
"then who's going to step up in your place?"
"that's where my sister came in and explained how she's already prepared to be a queen since she's older than me and smarter too. father just never shown her favour because of mother. he wanted her to live a calm and peaceful life. it's quite a twist of events that all came out to my fortune," he smiled to himself, thankful his sister stepped in for him.
"i wish i met your sister," you said, thinking of her as a role model already.
"you really wouldn't. she gets mad at me all the time for the littlest things," he grumbled, remembering all the times he got scolded by her.
"i can understand why, you are like an annoying little pest," you teased with a giggl, to which tooru pouted and whined.
as the two of you died down, a comfortable silence took over as you two listened to the pitter patters of the ongoing rain. i've missed this. what a coincidence that you both thought it at the same time. tooru looked over to your calm figure as you gazed out onto the garden.
"y/n?" tooru called, seeking your attention.
"mhm?" you responded, turning around to face him. he was closer than before.
"remember before i left, I wanted to say something to you?" he asked nervously.
"hmm, oh yeah, you were about to say something to me. what was it?" you recalled, curious onto what he was going to say.
"well, the sole reason i wanted to be a knight was because i couldn't protect my mum. of course no one was able to save her, but the burden and guilt that was left held me accountable from my perspective. it has always been my goal to protect everyone i love," he stopped, catching his breath. you gave him a nod, motioning him to continue.
"y/n, my heart aches everytime we depart. every goodbye you say to me makes me want to come running back to you. every lingering touch made me yearn more from you. i only experience the goodness of life through every second i get with you. truth be told when i say i live now to serve you," he expressed, pouring his heart and soul into every word he said.
"w-what are you getting at tooru?" you hesitantly ask, your heart racing for an answer.
"i love you, y/n. i'm not trying to force you to love me. i just…" he momentarily paused gathering his thoughts before continuing, "i won't ask you to love me, so please just give me permission to love you."
you had the utmost authority right now. he was pleading to you. he loves you. with all these realisations, you stood there, opposite a lovesick tooth, filled to the max with mixed emotions. good ones, where one of which swayed you to leaped into tooru's arms as you held him tightly close.
"is this a yes?" tooru asked with a grin as he gazed at you longingly.
what followed, your weren't entirely too sure. your brain fogged as the proximity between the two of you came to a close. tooru's soft, puckered lips collided gently against yours. you both could exhaled at the contact, releasing all your tensions as the world came to a stop for both of you. sparks of joy leaped from tooru's chest as he cherished the moment. this was his reward for waiting so patiently for you. the strong scent of rosemary intoxicated your lungs as you breathed him in. your hands found its way to his hair, your fingers carding through his locks. you were each others addiction, craving for more, not letting go until you were both satisfied. pulling away, you both took deep breaths whilst gazing at each other fondly. tooru still holding you close.
"that was…" tooru began between small breaths.
"amazing," you finished, a wide smile forming on your heated face.
"of course it was, aren't i a great kisser?" tooru praised, returning back to his charming self.
"oh stop it," you rolled your eyes as you tried to turn away from him.
"look at you becoming shy because of me," he teased, grabbing you by the hand and pulling you towards the rain. you decided to just let him take you, knowing you wouldn't have enough strength to defy him.
"i've always wanted to do this with you," he shouted through the booming sound of rain.
"do what?" you shouted back, trying to block the rain from your view with your hand.
he took your hand and placed it on his shoulder, intertwining his remaining hand with yours. a familiar scene playing out again. instead, this time you both looked ridiculous. clothes soaking wet that whenever tooru would twirl you around your gown would project droplets of water like an umbrella. but you both didn't care. laughing carefree, acting childish, knowing you'd be sick the next day and yet you both had no regrets. the rain began to disperse and you both came to stop, finally tired from all the dancing.
smiling up at him you greeted, "happy birthday tooru," before pulling on his collar and giving him one final peck on his soft pillowy lips, as the summer breeze flowed by and the cicadas buzzed in the trees.
it didn't feel real. it felt heavenly.
