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@studious-arson
80s misogyny saved the Star Wars galaxy because Darth Vader wasted all his time and effort trying to convince his starry-eyed gayboy empath son to become an evil space fascist when if anyone had any point asked his daughter “hey do you ever just want to KILL these people” she would’ve been shooing lightning out of her hands to prove a point in like 10 minutes
(via prev)
Bro is cooking
I love the idea of Rocky extending Grace’s lifespan to Eridian levels without telling him
"what is this BABY doing in space!???"
-Rocky, probably
Hey do you guys think that Grace begins to check all measurements with a neurotic precision and paranoia post-coma? Do you think every time he has to measure anything he double triple quadruple checks he did it right and gets Rocky to look at it? Because a fuck-up in measurements is what got him here? Because if just one person had looked at the astrophage and realized there was too much of it, he would never have been sent out? None of this would've happened? His friends wouldn't have died in that explosion? Do you think he does this with everything, not just science experiments? Everything is?
we as a society ignore rocky's jazz hands far too often. i imagine that he's literally the only one who does them and he told grace it was a cultural custom because he's always wanted to start that trend. adrian spiritually raises an eyebrow whenever he does it.
I've seen this with Stratt and Grace but not Grace and Rocky lol
harbor seals! :)
art is everywhere :')
Wait you're telling me that people think ally beardsley and lou wilson don't know what queercoding is and did the entire vampire/queer metaphor entirely by accident.
Really? Smh smh.
"I asked ChatGPT—" Well I consulted Pryce & Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol Manual and it said to be wary of shark attacks.
Oh come on lady, you can't deny a man his gaycation
You must surrender yourself mind, body and soul to the gaycation or be destroyed
Someone on reddit already suggested a sapphibbatical
Someone on reddit
already suggested a
sapphibbatical
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
how could you leave out the best part—the aquarium bit
"become a fish" (gay)
men will jump through an entire circus' worth of hoops rather than admitting they're bi
The level of mental hoops that guy had to jump through to say to his wife, "No, honey! Of course I wouldn't be cheating on you! Sex during gaycations doesn't count!"
Holy fucking shit! It gets trippier!
I mean, I feel horrible for the OP and her SIL...but "surrender to the gaycation" made me laugh way more than I should have.
this is an insane story
“Some men never return”
Helpppppp 😭
Um…here’s the reddit link? I’m speechless.
Don't worry honey, all the other men on gaycation aren't real people and they stop existing after. Hey, where's all the homophoboa coming from suddenly?
That's the beauty of the gaycation!
It get wilder. I only found out about this b/c of a youtube video reading the Gaycation post but, this isn't even the first one.
7 years ago someone posted this-
And 5 years a different user posted this-
What is happening with these people??? What weird ass cult did they find??
I read the shithead guy’s rambling in Nagito Komaeda’s voice
"some men never return because they're "totally feminized" into the state of permanent "pseudo-gayness"" is my favourite line out of the entire post
LaVonte pouting and glaring about and at his sire aka the man he loves. HJ doting after him to make things better. "I'll get you a cute basil plant, it will make you feel good" "Let's go get potatoes together" "How about something purple, anything you want I'll make it purple, please" "I STILL Want Thattt"
HJ being LaVonte's sire makes sense but also doesn't beat the gay allegations but ALSO imagine business broing so hard Mr. Generational Wealth over here reveals he is the generation and turns you into an undead creature of the night forever and then you watch him get really into basil
the concept of being lavonte and feeling like you don’t know hj anymore, like you’re losing him - he’s buying sweet potatoes and giving you basil plants and he’s mellowing out and you’re starting to worry he is NOT the guy you signed up to eternity with - then he snaps back to himself for a moment and he’s wild and crazy and recognisable to you and he tells you to get rid of the basil plant that he left you in your coffin.
but you keep it. and you look after it.
love it when whatever is wrong with Lou Wilson synergizes with whatever is wrong with Ally Beardsley
The way that most of Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes stories’ most horrible villains are rich dudes that are abusive to women, in a time such as the 1880’s, compels me.
There’s a whole subset of Sherlock Holmes stories that could be labeled Asshole Guys Try to Control Women’s Money.
Yup, there’s a huge number of times where Sherlock Holmes is the ONLY person to take a young woman’s complaint or worry seriously and finds out someone is up to some serious evil. Holmes also shows a lot of compassion and empathy with the victims over and over again. (This is why I find “Secretly a woman” or “Trans” Holmes headcanons much more convincing than “sociopath” Holmes.)
I am never going to shut up about how much I specifically love The Adventure of The Copper Beeches because it is literally Sherlock Holmes listening to a young lady he does not know except as a potential client, agreeing with her that a potential job she has interviewed for that she thinks is SUPER SKETCHY is, indeed, sketchy as fuck and when she says she’s probably gonna take the job anyways because the money is good and she needs it going “OKAY I GUESS but for the love of god please write to us so we know you’re okay we will literally drop everything and jump on a train if you want us to”.
The job turns out to indeed be sketchy as fuck, she writes to them, Holmes and Watson drop everything and jump on a train when she asks them to. I read this story for the first time when I was twelve and it made a HUGE impression.
This is also the basis for a lot of speculation about Holmes’ family life. The idea that he has been a victim of abuse, or his mother was abused (or even murdered by his father.) There’s definitely SOMETHING that makes him very aware of how dangerous isolated families can be, and the dark things that can happen behind closed doors. Plus, of course, the motivation to devote himself to stopping crime. And yes, so much of it is of the personal type.
dude see this is one aspect of the original books i NEVER understand why modern remakes (cough cough) don’t go all in on. Like, in the 21th c we HAVE all the dumb forensic shit that made Victorian Holmes stand out, but we STILL DON’T HAVE uh….you know, compassion for women and minorities, or the willingness to believe them, adequate community support for domestic violence or hate crimes, etc. etc. which you’d think is exactly where a renegade consulting detective would come in handy. A good modern day Sherlock Holmes remake, instead of trying to convince us that Holmes is some super genius for being better than fingerprint analysis or whatever, could have him just be…a good person who helps out people the police can’t and won’t help. There you go. That’s how to write a relevant modern Holmes.
One thing that annoys me is how much the BBC version of Sherlock (and the fandom around it) focus on police cases or cold cases. In the stories, Holmes’ bread and butter cases had fuck-all to do with the police and in a few stories, he actively works around/against them, or outright lies to them. Of the many, many things I wish that show had done differently, this is one is particularly obnoxious since it’s such a gimme.
There were very few actual murder cases in the Canon, and Holmes handled them either one of two ways:
Option one: The murder victim was innocent while the killer was an abusive bastard, see Speckled Band. Conclusion, arrest and have the killer charged (Or in the case of Speckled Band, indirectly murder him yourself then shrug and go home)
Option two: The victim was murdered to protect someone that the victim was abusing, or for vengeance, see Boscombe Valley, Devil’s Foot, Abbey Grange. Conclusion, Oops, I don’t know who the killer is, I am suddenly incompetent, oh look a pheasant.
#my favorite murder in holmes canon#is when they straight up witness a lady murder her blackmailer#do nothing except destroy his other blackmail material#and then straight up lie to lestrade about it#sherlock holmes#more of this in modern adaptations pls (via @cactusspatz )
Let’s not forget the time Holmes helps a young woman who’s being catfished by her own stepfather to steal her inheritance, and when the villain sneers that the law can’t touch him, Holmes grabs a horsewhip out of sheerest chivalry.
So, the most canon-accurate iteration of Sherlock Holmes in the last few decades is actually Benoit Blanc….
I think it’s also important to note, and complicates our ideas about what the highly patriarchal/misogynistic society of 19th century England looked like, that these stories SOLD
they were POPULAR
the Victorians LIKED reading about women who won out over shitty men in their lives, even when that plotline reaffirmed a woman’s power and agency or put an active sexist in his place (ie Irene Adler besting Holmes)
which is fascinating in light of. you know. [gestures broadly at all of Victorian gender dynamics, laws, etc.]
So yes, Benoit Blanc is the best modern Sherlock.
Alex’s brain rewiring itself as soon as an older rich person underestimates him
