My love language is touching. That's why I try to murder you all the time!
we're not kids anymore.
art blog(derogatory)
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Xuebing Du

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oozey mess
Claire Keane
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cherry valley forever

shark vs the universe
taylor price
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

roma★
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trying on a metaphor
One Nice Bug Per Day
Sade Olutola
todays bird

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@stuffmyboyfriendsay
My love language is touching. That's why I try to murder you all the time!
Is my hair being non-Euclidean again?
His hair got messed up in the wind so I started fixing it and then he said that...
Are you my shoes???
I was talking to my boyfriend about how weird it is that he never recognizes the guest actors on SNL and I ALWAYS do, so I told him that I believe he might not recognize me if I wear a costume, and he said “nooo, I’ll recognize you, but maybe when I’m old and you will come to me and ask ‘Honey, do you know who I am?’ I will say ‘are you my shoes???’”
You look like a crone in the woods, and your name is probably moisty swamp, cause it sounds Jewish
I just woke up with a bad hair day...
They were apart for half a year, what’s a month...
I was leaving for a month vacation abroad back in my home country without my bf. I discovered that a sock I had missing its pair was left at my parents house abroad for the whole half year it’s been missing, so I was packing it with me to reunite the socks together. So when I left my bf said “damn I won’t see you for an entire month!” And then he thought about the socks reuniting after half a year of being apart and felt all better :)
When I listened to that song back then, I never would have believed that you would one day be sleeping next to me, farting on our cat.
We listened to a nostalgic song from when we just started talking, not even dating, and this is what he said :)
Therapenis
I was feeling anxious when going to sleep and told my bf that it could’ve helped if I had a stress ball or something I could use with my hands to relieve the stress, so he offered his penis 🤣 it actually did help me calm down so then he named it “therapenis”
Breezy Vagina
We both got out of the shower, and I immediately wore my towel robe, he started blow drying his hair when all of a sudden he shuved the blow dryer underneath my robe blowing air up from below. Then he said “Your stripper name should be Breezy Vagina!”
Lil Wee Tree Fuckers
We were talking about how we can’t think of a language in which broccoli isn’t simply broccoli and then he said he thinks in Scotland they probably call it “lil wee tree fuckers”
Of course you have a dragon, it’s between my legs! his name is “Paenerys the Terrible”
He called me Kahleesi and then mother of dragons and I said: but I don’t have dragons…
A throng of chins
He went to a Magic the Gathering convention and I was asking him if he found any butt cracks to pose next to, so he said that he couldn’t find any visible butt cracks anywhere, but there were indeed a lot of people so fat that you couldn’t distinguish where their chin is. So I added “or they simply have too many chins… a throng of chins!” And he said: “no, the throng of chins were on the Asia convention on the other side of the convention center”. :)
So we were in a park and came across these black looking bellflowers so bf immediately says: “They’re called ‘Headbangers’!”
Revenge of the Penis
We had sex and it didn’t go so well, so my bf said “There will be a sequel!” so I asked him how will it be called…
Massage my butt please, I suffer from “buttatitis”
He came back after a rigorous sport activity…
Yo, I’m growing here a second face on my face, I gotta peel it off
Bf watching me use a peeling gel for my face. He starts narrating me.
Porn minimizing - when you try to minimize all the horrible shit you’re into.
I was trying to explain what a pore minimizing primer is, and bf came up with a better idea.
Girl, I walk down the street and I see a tree, and it makes me think about you. Girl, I see a dog, and it makes me think about you. Girl, I see a garbage can... and it doesn't make me think about you. But then I walk away and I think about you again and everything is good with the world"
I let my bf listen to an instrumental track named "hey girl" so he narrated it :)