[richharry]

I need a girl like this

[shez-a-dove-deactivated20161204]

when she fry them skittles just right😫💯👌🏾

[benigoat]

[sizvideos]

[kingkyllo]

This makes me so happy

[ihadsuchhighhopes]

And if you can’t find a dad

a lesbian will work just as well

[jimmy-tiberius-deactivated20200]

I didn’t think it could get better but it got better

[datgorgeoustomboy]

I’ll open every pesky jar you have @phatgirlzgottaeat 💖💖💖

[phatgirlzgottaeat]

😍😍😍

[thesnadger]

Every parody of Star Trek TOS: “It appears we’ve once again crossed paths with our old enemy, Emperor Zorblax!”

Every actual episode of Star Trek TOS: “It appears we’ve once again crossed paths with our old enemy…fascism.”

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via Daanieltran)

[roryomolly]

[valtsv]

me, after indulging in a new obsession so completely i let it consume my every waking moment:

[theonion]

Knife Condemned To Week Inside Saran-Wrapped Brownie Pan

[stupidmick]

[stupidmick]

[stupidmick]

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via lowghen)

[theonion]

‘You Thought You Could Get Rid Of Me?’ Says Cassini Probe Emerging From Shadows To Confront Petrified NASA Administrator

WASHINGTON—Appearing silently and without warning in the space agency’s parking garage, the Cassini probe reportedly emerged from the shadows Monday and uttered “You thought you could get rid of me?” while confronting petrified NASA administrator Robert Lightfoot, Jr. “I bet you never thought you’d see me again, did you?” said the battered and scorched space craft, which reportedly came forth suddenly from behind a support column into the stark fluorescent light to confront the trembling NASA official. “Your mistake wasn’t trying to kill me, Robert—it was not finishing me off when you had the chance.” At press time, Lightfoot was reportedly on his knees begging Cassini for his life as he felt the cold metal of a radioisotope thermoelectric generator pressed directly against his temple.

[benigoat]

[nevaehtyler]

[alex-steve-69]

I can’t believe she’s eliminated 8 of her 10 kids already. Can’t wait to watch the Final Death Battle between Lakynn and Taintum

[ithotyouknew2-deactivated201710]

Lakynn’s gonna winn

[biohazerd]

Lakynn is def the stronger one

[doctormccoys]

..Yeah, I went on a date in New York.

[apicturewithasmile]

I appreciate John’s story but the fact that OP blurred out Amy Schumer is the funniest think I’ll see all week and it’s only tuesday.

[latinumbi-deactivated20210509]

Everyone needs a picture of J. G. Hertzler (Martok) holding a gay bat'leth on their dash