Pretty Sure I’m a Jedi

I am legally and morally obligated to post one horny/nsfw post per day. Do not be alarmed by this.

[quietwingsinthesky]

we’re so lucky that gilgamesh survived and is a banger. can you imagine if we found the oldest written human story ever recorded and it sucked balls.

[chongoblog]

It’s fun to use contractions inappropriately, but it’s hard to explain why that’s

[lunarthesugarglider]

thats a common interest we've

[chongoblog]

Yeah, but people get annoyed by it, like when you throw soda cans in the trash can’t the recycle bin

[alphabetizing-posts]

annoyed bin but by cans can't get in it, like people recycle soda the the throw trash when Yeah you

[hyrude]

was talking with gwen yesterday and she was like “yeah leonard nimoy’s cool. it’s cool that he’s gay” and i was like “he’s not gay. i also thought he was gay but he was just nice. you’re thinking of patrick stewart” and she was like “he’s not gay you’re thinking of stanley tucci” and i, thinking of steve busciemi, said “FROM SPY KIDS?” anyway just checked and none of these people are gay apparently. thanks for reading 

[hyrude]

posts that make people say “stanley tucci IS gay, lol” and then google it and reblog again with “oh, huh. nvm” 

[theterribletenno]

[omghotmemes]

At night the beast sleeps

[forestthechonkykitty]

@horsefigureoftheday this is a deer I think but reminds me of the horse prince drawings of your boy xD

[horsefigureoftheday]

shhh he’s sleeping

[justcatposts]

Every year a bobcat mama gives birth to a litter of kittens on my roof. I set up a camera this time around. 

(Source)

[takineko]

[supreme-leader-stoat]

Youth fascination with technology

[midnightmoonday]

universal mom noises of get the fuck down from there

[justcatposts]

Every year a bobcat mama gives birth to a litter of kittens on my roof. I set up a camera this time around. 

(Source)

[takineko]

[supreme-leader-stoat]

Youth fascination with technology

[midnightmoonday]

universal mom noises of get the fuck down from there

[wizardarchetypes]

it’s sooo funny when rude customers encounter employees who can deny them service for the first time.

i was working at a little cafe where I could deny service over bad behavior, harassment etc. & mask mandates had just ended a week before & already people were being weird about me still wearing mine—an N95, the kind shaped kinda like a duckbill.

so this man walked in, looked at me sooo scathingly, laughed at me, and said “damn. never known a woman to choose…practicality over looks.”

And I just said, “oh. you can go, you’re not getting a drink.” And he said, “what???”

I said, “sir, you just walked in at 6 am & called women impractical and me ugly in one sentence.”

And he was so astonished he didn’t even argue he just turned around and left 💀🙏🏻 it was like he suddenly became self aware

[carolinalaurel]

One summer I was running ferry rides across a lake so people could see the waterfalls without walking 6 miles when a guy snapped my bra strap as he was boarding the boat. So i immediately threw him off, he started yelling for my manager, my boss cheerfully informed him that, yeah, she’s the captain of the boat and she can kick off anyone she wants. He goes to storm off, looks expectantly at his girlfriend, and she just goes, “Well, I’M not walking six miles, Michael! I’ll meet you back at the car!” and sits right back down!!!!

The expression on his face when he was told that he couldn’t get on the boat, then immediately told that his girlfriend was ditching him? PRICELESS. he just blinked at her and then stormed off like a child. I gave her a free hat and was like maybe rethink this relationship…….

[hickeywiththegoodhair]

i once had this fucker come up to order a beer. while i pour it he shows me the wanky fucking chemical structure tattoo on his arm and he’s like “hey. you know what this is” i was like “nah sorry” (never cared abt chemistry in school, plus having to look at a some rando’s pretentious tattoo gives me the douche chills). he decides to respond with “heh. you must not read many books”

i immediately stop pouring his beer. i reply: “heh. you must not want this beer.” thirsty boy immediately starts groveling like a worm “please please no i do want the beer im sorry im sorry” believe me when i say it was one of the most pathetic things ive ever witnessed

[lezbadeez]

gotta love people immediately backpedaling when they realise that there are Consequences To Being Mean

[lastvalyrian]

I genuinely believe that part of why it has become so normalized to be openly callous and evil in politics is that customer service culture has trained affluent people that they can treat everyone they consider beneath them however they want and still be treated kindly.

[ratbastarddotfuck]

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

[digitalsymbiote]

Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now

[void-milf]

fyi the point of fucking up your data patterns isnt to avoid suspicion. it’s to make EVERYONE suspicious. same logic as the bloc, pals.  protect your comrades, be suspicious. ESPECIALLY if you aren’t doing anything likely to get you arrested.

[void-milf]

the state is less omniscient and significantly more incompetent than you’d think. overextend their resources at every possible opportunity.  make them cry wolf repeatedly. run their data analysis agents fucking ragged.  and strike. attack.

[37womenwieldingknives]

YES i’m a postgrad statistics researcher and i can tell you that the state honestly has NO IDEA what to do with the data it collects, it has an obsession with big data but it’s almost impossible to work with in practice. the traditional statistical approaches that are used can’t be scaled up, the adapted approaches are substantially weakened, and the machine learning approaches have the same problems and often tell them nothing. data scientists are only just coming around to these issues too, most still just push on with it anyway - incompetence is the word. above all this though, like you say, the biggest issue for the state is at the point of data collection. they will NEVER get anything useful if they’re collecting shitty messy data. they will eventually figure out that the real solution is working how to collect accurate and meaningful data, we should make it as difficult as possible for them to do that

[afraidofamericans]

This makes me think that we need WAAAY more apps that generate junk data

[queeranarchism]

Apps that generate junk data? tell me moooore.

[anarchopuppy]

Ooh I know this one!

Ad Nauseum is an adblocker that stores the ads it blocks and continuously generates fake clicks, fucking with analytics and costing the ad companies money

TrackMeNot automatically does randomly generated searches on a variety of search engines to obscure your real searches and fuck with analytics, and you can set it up to work with anything that has a search bar (including facebook, twitter, amazon, youtube, etc)

WhatCampaign replaces analytics parameters in links with the string “FuckOff”. I thought there was a similar extension that used random strings, but I can’t seem to find it

Privacy Possum is a fork of Privacy Badger with a focus on costing tracking companies as much money as possible, and idk if my limited tech knowledge is enough to understand what it does but the description does say it falsifies some data so that’s good enough for me

@afraidofamericans

[mayflower-gal]

Boy it SURE would be a SHAME if this were SPREAD AROUND for everyone TO SEE

[feminist-space]

The above is a video shared by smrchildsadness on Twitter, showing a person participating in a pride parade exchanging a pride flag with a person standing on his (am using his pronoun based on the TikToks/Tweets of what happened) doorway who had a Portuguese flag. There are sounds of cheers and crying and the two people hug each other as they exchange the flags. The man at the doorway then waved kisses to the crowd within the pride parade.

The Tweet says: "NO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HE WAS WAVING THE PORTUGUESE FLAG BECAUSE HE DIDN'T HAVE A PRIDE FLAG AND THEY TRADED FLAGS AND HE'S SO EMOTIONAL TO GET HIS OWN PRIDE FLAG I'M EMOTIONALLY RUINED"

For context, apparently they were worried that maybe he's a nationalist because he was waving the Portuguese flag and some nationalists opposing the pride march were waving that flag. But upon interacting with him, it turns out he didn't have have a pride flag and he wanted to wave *a* flag in support of the pride march. So they had an exchange and now he has his own pride flag 😭🥹.

The image above is a Tweet by kunwara_ladkaa that says "I'm crying so much right now (Image taken by Manuel Fernando Araújo/Lusa)". The image shows the same man from the pride parade crying as he hugs his new pride flag.

The above image is a Tweet by dudz_zZzz that says "ainda não parei de pensar nele," which according to Google translate from Portuguese to English is "I still haven't stopped thinking about him." The image is a drawing of the person from the pride parade, crying as he hugs his new pride flag.

Posts were made on July 1, 2024.

[feminist-space]

One of the most joyful moments of 2024 during a Pride Parade in Portugal.

[baddyzarc]

If you wanna know the state of Yugioh TCG collecting in the wake of Overframes in the core game…

[baddyzarc]

The situation is so funny man

Basically, Mr grifter announced that he might be getting into the collecting side of yugioh, which would lead to the scalping hell that now plagues the Pokémon and One Piece TCGs

As a joke, MBTYugioh gave them pointers on what to “invest in”, recommending some of the WORST shit products that this game released in the years

He then followed up with a tongue-in-cheek, clearly trolling video recommending shit like Legendary Duelists sets, Duelist of Deep and Synchro Storm, and the Platinum cards, and exclusive COINS before ending the video with “Don’t invest in yugioh. You will lose money due to this game’s reprint policies”

Like, it was very obvious for anyone with half-a-brain cell and is familiar with Yugioh that the video is a joke

BUT a bunch of scalping bots took the video at face value and bought out these doodoo, worthless products immediately after his fuckass video came out

Now they’re sitting on unsellable trash. 100% deserved, I hope everyone whose trying to grift this game like Pokémon loses their money

[themainspoon]

Yu-Gi-Oh fans really saw the scalpers coming and said "You've activated my trap card".

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

It’s been a while since I got a wild text from a wrong number

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

Uhhh so warning for nsfw conversations below the break but I had to ask

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

They sent a picture as proof ig??? and I would like to bleach my eyes

[morallygreyandgreymorally]

PROOF??? pls tell me it was just a pick of the stuff together and not the activity 😭

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

The second one

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

Update: woke up to this

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

This is the best question I’ve seen now I’m wondering if he doesn’t have toothpaste

[godivaghoul]

[omtai]

Man I miss free the nipple. Its getting warmer and we don’t even have free the nipple anymore

[wh40kartwork]

Communication Relay

by Ameen Naksewee

[filthyprotozoan]

people are always like “i have face blindness but i’m good with names” or “im terrible with names but i never forget a face” well baby idk how to tell u this but i am . bad at both.

[filthyprotozoan]

yesterday i didn’t recognize my coworker bc he was wearing a purple shirt and im used to him wearing all black

[filthyprotozoan]

yeah and im stomping you to death with my hooves

[lychgate]

my husband put on a wig, in front of me, and i immediately got distressed and mad because it looked like a stranger was in our house and my ape brain wanted to attack

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I once accidentally filled in a form using my internet name, went "that's not right", realised I didn't remember my legal name, panicked, and started filling it in with the names of everyone in my lab in order until I stumbled on the name that I recognised as being used for me.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#i FREQUENTLY stare at anybody who is blonde with bangs going 'is that my best friend i've lived with for 3 years...?'#the answer is always no it's just a different blonde girl with bangs

I used to be a nanny. So I was taking this toddler to various activities in town and stuff, and parents would be there of course with their own toddlers and

EVERY

TODDLER MUM

DRESSES

THE FUCKING SAME

Same haircuts, same jackets, same tops and pants. I could NEVER tell anybody apart. I was there in my leather jacket and workboots and crew cut so they all got a huge advantage in recognising me, but I was shit out of luck. I had to try to see what child they were with and guess.

[haveyoueverconsideredpiracy]

ive tried to continue interrupted conversations with the wrong coworker several times. one time a friend took off his glasses in front of me and i was like. who is this guy. the same friend warned me before he was gonna get a haircut. otherwise i would not have recognized him. after i switches schools in primary school it took me half a year to figure out that no these two people do not have the same name, they have slightly different names, but i never saw them next to eachother.