the hypnotic adventures of subject-e

[subject-e]

Random Pics Combined Using Neural Network

Imgur: The most awesome images on the Internet.

Future Art

[subject-e]

So appropriate! 

[subject-e]

On communication, direct

Instruction on direct communication.

“I brought 12 pairs of panties because I knew you were going to be around.“

No.

“You make my pussy so uncontrollably wet that I brought 12 pairs of panties.”

Better.

“Can we play?”

No.

“I want to feel your words in my mind and your hands on my body, around my neck, in my (uncontrollably wet) pussy.”

Better.

“I want to be controlled by you, explore those edges of fear and trust that excite me more than anything.”

[subject-e]

On asking for what I want, benefits of.

It is really scary and uncomfortable to come out and say it sometimes but so many good experiences have come out of it for me. There is that fear of rejection, of not being good enough, of not being able to pretend that it doesn’t matter anymore. The leap of faith, trust, and courage of coming out and saying what you feel, think, desire and those moments of torture where you feel so vulnerable, uncertain, wondering if it was the right thing to do. Before, my fear of rejection overwhelmed the asking of a question for play, for friendship, for more.

But I found courage; I asked. And the answer wasn’t “no, go away” it was “yes, let’s!” And we did and it was wonderful, and next time, I was less afraid to ask. And I found with every asking it became easier, and made me feel more able to ask for what I really want, need, desire. It still is surprising when someone says yes to me, but I am learning to trust that the best things come out of openness and honesty, as people can’t actually read minds.

When the answer wasn’t “yes,” that also became more OK, less something to fear, or be anxious about. "Yes” is something special, not guaranteed, not owed, not expected.

[subject-e]

Naked

Sitting in front of the computer, eyes slightly glazed, the cursor blinks. Empty box, compulsion beckons. Typing, helplessly, despite myself, what my inner narrative is saying.  Unconscious, subconscious, hidden observer, whatever you call it, it is now exposed. Uncovered, naked.  I feel naked, more naked than I ever have before. There are no secrets.  Fear of not being accepted for who I am, now that You see how i think when I can’t censor myself. You know how much i adore you. 

I trust. i let go. 

In this moment, i am free. 

[subject-e]

Time

Basking in sunlight, feeling it beat down almost like a physical force... becoming a physical force, holding mind and body immobile, held in this place where anything is possible.  Warm.  Safe. Then falling, golden, surrounded by light, trapped in glass one of countless other motes, sliding, tumbling, then falling free for an instant.  Landing, again one of a multitude, nestled, safe among them, slowly covered as more fall from above until disorienting, flying, flipping sliding again.

[subject-e]

Being where i am because that’s where He wants me

Letting go of “I should be” “I want to be” “why aren’t I?” and just being, going, following.  Experiencing what he wants, what he creates in my mind and trusting that I am just where he wants me.  That where I am is good enough, that it is OK and right and right where he wants. Letting go and letting him know where I am. Letting go of pretense, of pretending to be somewhere else or letting that critical factor convince me that I should be elsewhere. I am here. There is no place I would rather be.

[subject-e]

Bounce... bounce ...... bounce .............. bounce

My thoughts, transformed into beautiful shiny bouncy balls, bouncing up and down, up and down, each bounce with less energy, less amplitude, until they inevitably come to rest and roll away...

[subject-e]

e-doll

The Moment i Really Got Into Objectification

I have always felt inseparable from my intelligence; “mindless”, “bimbo”, etc never really appealed to me.  There has been a bit of objectification play in my experiences: I have been the mischievous footstool, the tickly backrest, the nippy pillow, but not really anything passive, blank, and without ulterior motive.

That changed recently.  I had the privilege of experiencing dollification for the first time.  I was wearing something that made me feel beautiful and my colored contact lenses.  I was deeply tranced and beautifully catatonic, with bright green eyes unfocused on a point straight ahead.  I was posed and moved and in a space where nothing really mattered other than being blank and pliable.  

Every slow, deliberate blink reminded me that I was a thing, a pretty thing that existed in a point of space and time.  A point where past and future did not matter, and the now was everything. I think I would like to explore this state further.  My brain keeps wandering over towards “what would it be like to have sexytimes in this state.”

[subject-e]

Nature by Numbers

•••••• MIRROR: https://vimeo.com/9953368 •••••• A movie inspired on numbers, geometry and nature, by Cristóbal Vila · Go to www.etereaestudios.com for more i...

Math is hypnotic... 

[mr-prism]

Today’s meeting agenda. sashastrance lizzidoll typhonicbunny daja-the-hypnokitten subject-e

[subject-e]

Eeeee, a business meeting I am highly motivated to attend!  =D

Also, how I love knowing there is mischief in the pipeline!  

[subject-e]

Breath & Trust

It was a long time ago, a really long time ago, before hypnosis was a thing you could admit to in the kink scene and expect people to have any idea of what that even meant. 

I met him at a room party at a kink convention and my gut instinct told me that he was someone who was trustworthy and someone who knew his stuff.  I overhear conversation about hypnosis and my ears perk up and I join in the conversation.  I’m not alone!  The topic of conversation soon changes to martial arts and choke holds and breath play and I am fascinated.  Usually quiet, I surprise myself and ask him to show me.  I want to experience this so badly, and I’m pretty sure he knows what he’s doing.  

Sure enough to make that decision to put my life into his hands.

Literally.

There is something about that moment of decision, of trust, of throwing myself into the unknown and giving up control deeply and completely enough to let someone show me what a choke-hold is like that pushes so many of my buttons at once.  That moment right before they start an induction.  That moment when I’m standing there, watching them pull the rope out of the rope bag.  That moment of possibility when my dreams might come true.  

For those of you who will question the safety of the activities herein, I stress that play was Risk Aware and Consensual and I never actually lost consciousness. 

Memories of the scene itself are a little fuzzy, as is to be expected.

I remember looking deep into his eyes as he applied unrelenting pressure to my carotids and that feeling of knowing that I really am not in control.  Drifting into a trance-like state, returning to normal, back and forth he brought me with his hands.  His voice guided me, was there as a focus even as my brain and body were in a state of extreme disequilibrium.  To lose myself in that voice, in those eyes, to use the power of my mind to fight against all of those instincts to NOT relax because I was in danger.  

Endorphin rush whilst exceptionally fractionated = win!  

[subject-e]

Scene idea: passing the Turing test... or not?

Mindfucks are tasty, frustration is delicious, and there’s something kinda hot about consensual gaslighting.  

Imagine a scene wherein your hypnotist is convinced that you are a robot and keeps pointing out ways that you are failing their tests to prove that you are human.  Where everything you say is just what robot you would say, where every attempt to prove that you are a person just convinces them that you are not.  

And that point when you start believing that maybe you are just a program... 

[subject-e]

On Becoming His Thing

"Dear my Sir,

You are the best thing.

I am yours.

-Subject-e

In these simple words, the summary of our relationship. 

A foundation of friendship, mutual respect, a lot of similar interests, and the desire to support each other through all the things life throws at us.  Throw in some hypnosis because we both love it, geekery of all sorts because that's who we are, and a mutual desire to communicate deeply and efficiently... and you have the reason why I've been AWOL for a while. ;)

Every day I thank whatever fates brought us together, at this right time and place and I pray that they will not separate us for reasons outside of our control.  All of those romance movies, those happy couples in the park, the facebook posts of enamored friends... finally make sense now!  And I have my version of it, scattered with trances and devious expressions, late night board games and happy randomness.

Our relationship is starting to delve into the D/s dynamic, something inevitable and completely natural given who we are and what we like to do.  We are currently experimenting with the mad scientist/test subject dynamic in certain ways.  He decided that I have been neglecting exercise, a thing that used to be a huge part of my life, and has convinced me to adopt his style of workouts.  Since then, I have felt all sorts of wonderful because of constant (ow ow ow) reminders that he wants me to be the best me I can be... for both me and for him. 

That knowledge, that he will be using his knowledge and experience to shape me into something that is in alignment with both of our goals just makes me tingly all over.  He's not doing it because he thinks I'm fat or weak or unattractive, but because he sees that I value being the strongest *me* possible and that physical strength is something that makes me feel good about myself.  He has brought me into his world of working out, and now we support each other.  Together, we are able to accomplish our goals more efficiently. 

[subject-e]

Have you ever heard silence?

Driving through the desert, a cool clear night, the moon is new the stars are out in force, scattered across the milky way like glitter escaped from a child's art project.  We decide to stop, pulled off onto a smaller road, and then onto a road smaller still until no lights from civilization were visible.  We park.  I feel his hand on my forehead, cool, reassuring and his voice tells me to sleep.  I drop, listening, obeying, and he fills my mind with his words, words of pleasure and peace, words that make the night even more beautiful.  From that space of calm and centered, we get out of the car to watch the sky. 

Outside, it is silent. Completely silent.  No wind, no trees, no roads, no cars, no insects, nothing.  Just us, and infinity. 

[subject-e]

On tickling, from afar

What happens when you bestow a curse upon a blanket that it is extremely tickly, but the room is cold and being without the blanket is not an option? 

[subject-e]

1 + 1 = wheeeeee!

One idea.

Lychee were in season, let's get some for dessert.

One idea.

"You are perfect just as you are, in all of your parts and complexities."

add trance, and you get ...

A body, my body, wonderful, whole and complete each cell made up of a lychee fruit, pink, prickly, delicious.  With tender white flesh, sweet juices dripping, and a firm brown seed so smooth, flawless mahogany enrobed in delight.  An assembly of millions and billions and trillions of them, each perfect, tasty, and just right.  Just right for that moment, for me, for them, for us to share together.  A grin spread across my face, a giggle, a laugh with the wonder and joy of this, the universe, trance, the trust among friends, the marvel of a brain that can make associations that are both nonsensical and make complete sense at once. 

And the knowledge that this tasty brain is something whose sweet pink tart prickly goodness is able to be shared with others in so many ways through all the things we do ...