Subtle Awakening

From a corporate life to the woowoo realm. A journey to all things spiritual and metaphysical.

[subtleawakening]

Journal Entry June 26, 2015 - Meeting  My Third Guide - Greg

June 26, 2015

MORNING MEDITATION

I used a guided healing meditation this morning. Somewhere in the middle, it instructed to ask for a guide with the highest healing. I thought for sure that Master Sananda would come forward, but he didn't. A different guide came forward, whose face I couldn't see. I could only make out a sense of a head and body, like a faint shadow and he shone a big white light from his torso. He reached out to my forehead and sent energy to my third eye. It was at this time that my head, concentrated on the third eye area, started to vibrate. I could feel the vibrations in my tongue. I thought maybe that I was doing it, but I know better now than to doubt any of it.

Yes, my channeling guide said it's all about TRUST. Hmm, where did I hear that before? ;) Because of the vibrations, it was hard to focus on what's being said in the meditation but I tried to focus and when I do, I lose my focus on the vibration and it subsides. Then it comes back again. I asked for this guide's name. At first it was difficult to discern it, I saw GR and nothing more, so I let it go. A little while later, I asked again, and I heard GREG. 

When the meditation was over, the vibrations didn't stop right away so I mentioned that to Greg. He said, "Aftershock,” and then laughed. How great, a guide with sense of humor! I had a strong feeling that I should stay lying down and just absorb what happened.

Then I decided to try channeling again. But it didn’t work. Instead, I had a conversation in my mind with my channeling guide. He said to me, “It took you long enough (to contact me)!” We talked about my difficulties in channeling verbally (I still couldn’t do it). He told me that it has something to do with my personality. I am used to thinking, living in my head and to me, talking is not natural—I prefer to process things internally.  So if I want to really channel verbally, I should practice talking more to stimulate the verbal process. I should start talking out loud every moment I get, whatever I am doing—talk to myself, talk while I am cleaning, talk while I am watching TV, etc.

I made a comment about not feeling any different while merging with a guide and he said because I was expecting something dramatic, like vibrations. He said that I don't feel anything because I am used to feeling the sensations so it’s nothing new for me—it's nothing special. So I should keep in mind that when it happens, there’s a connection. At some point, I felt heat going through my left feet up to my calf. He said I could also just act normal, move normally, and I still would be able to channel.

I asked about having other psychic abilities and he said that every person is different. Every person has a different purpose and their gifts are related to that. Some people manifest their abilities right away. He said that, sometimes it depends on the physical body. He said that mine is difficult to work with (whatever that means).

EVENING MEDITATION:

I tried channeling again, to no avail. During meditation, I had a conversation with my channeling guide. We talked about exercise (or lack of it—I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with it). He said more or less that I should look within me, listen to my Higher Self as to what would be best for me. If I listen closely enough, I will be able to find that one type of exercise that I will enjoy doing and look forward to. There are many options, but it is preferable that it is something that gives the heart a workout, the muscles and the bones, too. It doesn’t need to be that much, 15 minutes a day of getting a good sweat; twice a week would be sufficient.

He said that I can opt to skip the exercise but remember that the outcome of my development would be different and much slower. He said, "How could you heal other people and make them better if your body is not well?" (Not that I could heal other people, but good point) He said that I should know it about myself that if I find something that I really want, I go at it like a pitbull (geez, my vocabulary leaves something to be desired!).

I asked if I would be channeling for other people. He said yes but it will take time. My family would be the last ones to do it, because it will be very hard for them to accept and understand what I do. But it will all work out and I should not worry about it.

Who am I? Read my story here.

[subtleawakening]

Journal Entry June 25, 2015 - Meeting My Second Guide - Berett

June 25, 2015

I met a new guide today. I was walking on a path and seeking for advice on the subject of abundance and creativity. As I traversed the path, the surrounding was almost blank. Then I asked for a higher being to help me guide me through the process of creating abundance. A being appeared from the right side of the path and joined me.

He is a masculine energy and absolutely very wise. He wore a “monk robe” as I call it, in a shade that looked like light brown or taupe. He had his hood on but knew somehow that he had a beard and kind of looked like Obi Wan Kanobi. He told me that his name is Berett.

I unloaded my mind to him and he listened patiently. He was looking at me while we talked. He did not say a lot, I was the one mostly talking (for a change) and when I finally stopped talking, he said, “Why don’t you share your journal to the public?” He didn’t have add to anything more, and somehow I simply understood what he meant. I almost laughed when he said, “Build it and they will come.” Enough said.

Who am I? Read my story here.

[subtleawakening]

Journal Entry June 24, 2015 - The Way to Destiny is Not a Straight Line

June 24, 2015

I was out in space again. I went higher and higher and higher, and then found myself swimming up and up. When I came out of the water, there was in illusion of a scenery indoors—like a film set. It was dark where I surfaced and in front of me, up ahead, there was nothing but water and I couldn’t see where it starts or ends. It was very calm.

There was a huge bright light (like a sunset but bright golden white) shining from the upper right side of the water. I raised myself up on the water and started walking (yes, on water) towards the light. The water was reflecting the color of the light. Then, Master Sananda came out of the light and walked towards me.

I asked him, "Why am I here?" He said it's complicated. "What am I doing here in this lifetime, I want to know." He said that the road to destiny is not a straight line. There are many options and it's up to us to choose the way to get there. He told me that I had been shown many options and I have not done anything about any of them. This really hit me hard and made me feel even lower. He is right, I know it, and that's what's upsetting me. It struck a chord with me. It's true. I am playing the victim; that I am not able to do what I want because they won’t give me what I asked. I really should make a choice and act on it.

I felt my stomach get ward and there was a sharp, piercing sensation on the left side of my head that almost made me wince. 

Who am I? Read my story here.

[subtleawakening]

Journal Entry June 23, 2015 - Going Through the Doorway

June 23, 2015

MORNING MEDITATION:

In the channeling book that I am reading, there was an exercise that tells you to go through a "doorway" but I didn’t think I was ready to through it. It sounded like a serious commitment and huge responsibility. Somehow I know deep down though, that I am ready—just a bit anxious but ready.

For this meditation, I wasn't planning on trying to reach anyone or try to do anything. I've learned to just let myself be led by my inner guide as to where it would take me. I felt a strong sensation, like my forehead is being sucked into a vortex towards the back of my head, three consecutive times. It was startling, but I said, "I can handle it."

I was led up into the higher realms anyway and I was hesitant. As the angels led me upwards, there were bright clouds and lights all around up ahead. In the middle of it, further up, there was a hole, a gaping black hole and I was hesitant to go there. But then I remembered the cave and felt that I should TRUST. We went through the hole, then I found myself alone all of a sudden, floating vertically and looking down the dark space of the universe through the “clouds.“ The stars seemed so far away and it felt like I was really somewhere WAY UP THERE.

After a bit of waiting, the doorway appeared. Everything was bright white with a tinge of gold—and somehow soft. I’m not sure how to describe it exactly. The doorway was open (there was no door to open or close or anything), and I could see beyond it. The “floor” was covered with clouds—like thick fog. Nobody was there. I was apprehensive. I was just standing there looking at it all. I wanted to touch what looked to me like the doorframe but somehow felt discouraged to do it.

After a while, I finally stepped in. The higher beings were suddenly there, walking around very slowly, wearing white flowing hooded robes. I couldn't see their faces. They were covered with light. I walked further into the "room." They were looking at me and I could sense a feeling of "what are you doing here?" reaction from them, like I didn't really belong there so they were surprised to see me there. No hostility or anything, just genuine yet a tad apprehensive surprise. As I walked past some of them, there he is, all of sudden, Master Sananda (Jesus). For the first time as far back as I can remember, I could see his face—his whole head down to the shoulders. He was glowing. He had shoulder length wavy hair, medium blond, his beard as well. His eyes were light, which I perceived to be extremely light blue.* He looked at me with so much love and felt how happy he is to finally see me there.

We walked away from the other beings, to "get out of the room" so to speak. We talked about many things and I asked many questions but as usual, I can't remember all of them. 

He confirmed with me that I was led to this. They tried to lead me to it through meditation but it didn't work completely. Being completely new to channeling, I said him: "If it's not too much to ask, would you help me get a signature feeling as to who I am channeling?" (I find the idea of another being speaking through me a bit unnerving). He replied, "Why do you still doubt us?" and reminded me of the signs I've been shown to lead me to this. Somehow, I was made to remember all my doubts (that I am making it all up, that it's me who are thinking it all up). I was made aware of all the sensations I feel in my whole body, that it couldn't possibly anybody else than them. Again, it boils down to trust.

I thanked him for healing me. As far as my measly mind can ascertain, it was twice but he said that I am always healing, always receiving, even as I go about my day-to-day life, even when I'm sleeping. I asked him if I am really healed (I sensed yes) and asked if my previous inner vision of having 12 strands of DNA is real. He laughed and said, "You wait and see."

In the recent past, I was made to understand that there are things that we are just not supposed to know. Well, knowing me, if I was told what my future would be like, I would definitely obsess about it. And I also understand that if knowing is not going to be for our highest good, then it is better left unsaid. Besides, there are many routes, many ways to get to one specific destination, and with our free will, we are free to choose which path to take.

I had also wondered about getting into trance to do channeling. He said that I will be able to do it even if I just close my eyes as I know what the feeling is like and therefore should know how to bring it forward.

I said that I guess I need to practice the verbal channeling, and he told me that everything needs practice. That I should let it all go and let it all flow. To not have expectations as to lead to disappointment but just experience all of it one step at a time.  Be like a child. Have fun with it. As he said all of this, I felt tiny, slight vibrations in my mouth and tongue.

EVENING MEDITATION:

Before I meditated, I was sitting on the couch and I wanted to test if I could reach a trance state this way. As I sat there, taking a few deep breaths, I did feel a—for lack of a better word—meditative trance-like state, even with my eyes open. I had tingling and crawling on my crown, vortexy (I know that’s not a word, but I have no other word to describe it) feeling on my forehead and energetic feeling in my hands. I felt surrounded by energy and my vision was like a mirage like you see on the horizon on a hot and humid day. 

I asked Master Sananda if he would be channeling through me all the time or if others would. He told me to not worry about it. I asked for my guides to help me focus, make a connection and keep it strong and clear. I declared to the higher beings that I am willing to be their instrument for whatever messages they would like to convey to the world for the highest good of mankind. I declared that I would like to be part of the plan to awaken mankind's consciousness, to transform its evolution.

*This image is based on my own perception of Jesus based on how he was portrayed in religious images.

Who am I? Read my story here.

[subtleawakening]

Journal Entry June 22, 2015 - Meeting My Higher Self and Healing from Jesus

June 22, 2015

MORNING MEDITATION:

I was hanging around in space again, then angels came swirling around me. Then, one of them came face to face with me, really up close, floating horizontally. She was smiling at me. She then stuck her hand through my forehead (I felt a sensation on my physical forehead). She stayed like that for a while. When she was done, she was off, flying off to the distance ahead of me. I followed her straight ahead and when I caught up with her, I heard her say, “Go to your cave.”

Suddenly, I found myself in the cave again, not sure why I needed to be there. The diamonds on the walls were shining very bright; then, blindingly bright white light started emitting from them towards me. I was infused with the lights and noticed a huge ball of the same blinding white light form from within me, from my heart center. It became bigger and bigger until it was bigger than me, encapsulating me. I was shown an image of myself (like in front of a mirror) and saw myself as light.

Afterwards, I saw little balls of light come from my heart center—around 3-5 balls the size of a tennis ball and smaller. As they floated in front of me, they began to take shape in the form of a fairy—with wings, magic wand, even pixie dust!—of white light. She was about a meter high and her character was exactly as the fairies I’ve seen in the Disney movies—giggly, bubbly, fun, lively, and flipping around. I came to understand that she was my Higher Self. I asked her why she manifested herself as a fairy and she said that it is a manifestation of my reality. This is what she could find in my brain that matches her character. And besides, a masculine mature-sounding serious character does not work for me (I don’t respond to it), hence this form—which really amuses and delights me!

I asked for her name, forgetting that names are not the norm in the higher realms. I sort of understood that it wasn’t necessary and she said, “There you go again, with your boxes. You’re categorizing.” But I really wanted to name her for convenience’s sake, and gave her a name that started with S, but it just sort of slipped out, so I knew it wouldn’t stick. I wondered what’s with the S names (like Selena, my main guardian angel) and she said that it’s because my spiritual name starts with S. I asked her what it was but she said she can’t tell me.

We talked about a lot of things but as usual, I don’t remember much of it. I remember that we talked about channeling. She said to me, “See what happens when you keep yourself open to options?” She told me that I am no longer blocking my own progress with my specific “wants” of how I’d like my life to turn out. Things will unfold much easier if I just let it all happen by itself and be open to the possibilities, like the way I was led to channeling. I asked her a few questions:

“Am I already channeling? “ Answer: “No. What you’ve been doing is conversing with us while on a meditative state. You’re talking to us. We’re talking to each other.”

“What about flow writing?” Answer: “Sort of. With flow writing, the words come through you. With channeling, we speak through you. Isn’t that what you want?”

“Why am I still aware of my environment when I’m having ‘interactions’ or visions during meditation” Answer: “It’s different for every person.”

“Am I really ready for channeling?” Answer: “More than you know.”

When our conversation was over, she merged back with my body and I felt a sensation in my solar plexus physically.

Then I found myself standing alone in the cave but the gold and diamonds were gone—the cave walls were normal. I was made to understand that everything—EVERYTHING—that I saw (the gold, the diamonds and the blinding white light) is all inside me and all I have to do is look within.

EVENING MEDITATION:

I was lying down and saw that Jesus was there. He was standing in front of me to my left. He was smiling at me. He came close to me, to my left side and came around to my head so that he was standing behind me. It felt as if he was doing something and I felt strong sensations on the top of my head— the crown area—and tingling sensation on my forehead. My hands were freezing and it felt as if there was a huge energy ball in my left hand. The goose bumps from the top of my head to the tip of my toes were intense. At a certain point, it felt as if there were other people in the room and I was a bit afraid so I asked Jesus to protect me. The healing, or whatever it was, was intense but it didn’t last long.

Who am I? Read my story here.

[subtleawakening]

Journal Entry June 21, 2015 - 12 Strands and Steve Jobs Cameo

June 21, 2015

I was in “outer space”—dark with stars twinkling all around. I was rising higher and higher, and at one point, an angel came to my right side, held my arm and led me even higher. It was mostly that—rising up, higher and higher—and sometimes it felt as if I was being sucked into a vortex.

All of sudden, I see myself talking to a doctor. I had him test my DNA and they found that I have 12 strands. I was happy and he was shocked. He wanted to make it public—this new, remarkable discovery—but I told him that I would only agree to it if he did it in spiritual light and not medical or scientific. I sensed (and told him) that he is a “believer” but he hides it for fear of being ridiculed and fear of losing his stature in the society.

Then, I saw myself going public in a press conference, calling all the “awakened” or “enlightened” humans or those following the path to spirituality—all those online, on social media, the lightworkers, walk-ins and starseeds—to come together through our website and help our fellow humans follow the path to light. I explained that I am no different than anyone else but a mere instrument to help others see the light and congregate those who already do—for together, our energy will be massively powerful.

After that, I found myself somewhere else. I saw briefly how I had nothing materially and financially yet I was abundantly provided for. Then, a light being came to me, approached me from the right and understood it to be the former human known as Steve Jobs. He somehow made me understand that I will, indeed, be provided for. I asked him how this could be (thinking that he will be the one to help me). He was somewhat amused by my lack of understanding and said, “They will follow you.”

Who am I? Read my story here.

[subtleawakening]

Journal Entry June 18, 2015 - Walk-in Indigo

June 18, 2015

Today, I was left to my own devices and became even more confused.

I was told to get a St. Francis medallion and to have it on me at all times.

I was also told that I am an indigo, but in a different way. I am a walk-in of an indigo soul. This doesn’t correspond to any of the stuff that I read so far about this subject and so it is all too confusing for me. But I was made to understand that this is the reason why I felt lately as if “I’ve been changed.”

I was reminded of a vision I had in a past meditation where I saw an owl and followed it to a tree and when I touched the tree, it came to life. I understood the message: “Follow the owl* and it will lead you to your path.”

*Owl is often thought to come to those who need to let go of some part of their life that is no longer needed. Listen carefully to that inner voice and be guided to recapture the knowledge of your true path in life.

Who am I? Read my story here.

[subtleawakening]

Journal Entry June 13, 2015 - Playfulness and the Dove

June 13, 2015

Yesterday’s meditation took me to connectedness—being one with all and everything. Today, it’s about playfulness, about not taking myself too seriously, learning to have fun and being child-like. So in my safe place, I was running and spinning, playing with the leaves on the ground and the water.

I went under the waterfall but after only a while, Guido came and took me out of it and led me to dry ground. We sat in the field together with Selena. I asked him why I can’t see his face. It’s not that his face is blank, I just can’t see his facial features very clearly (the same goes for Selena). He tried showing me but I still couldn’t see it.

I asked him how I know he’s with me (in the physical world). He made me feel my left hand and it felt like there’s energy around it. Selena showed me how she floats in the air and facing me horizontally from a one o’clock position. Her face was glowing, staring at me smiling. It’s like this is her “default” position when she’s with me, feeling her on the right side of my face.

I also asked him why I don’t like being around people as much. He said that I could sense people’s intentions and that I should use that to guide my inner compass. I wondered about my introversion and he said that I needed to be an introvert so I could focus on my path. If I had been an extrovert, I wouldn’t have spent time in my spiritual development, reading and stuff and would have spent time doing something else (worldly stuff) instead. I said that it’s affecting my relationship with the people around me and he replied that it is something I have to deal with myself.

He also told me that there are certain things that I cannot know right now because it might alter the course of my journey if I did. There are things that I need to learn to go through first before I “get there.” Only then that something will be revealed to me, one at a time.

As I walked back, I looked back at Guido and Selena. Guido stretched out his arms forward and released white doves* out of his hands.

*Although the dove has been associated with peace, it actually symbolizes rebirth.

Who am I? Read my story here.

[subtleawakening]

Journal Entries May 13-22, 2014 - The White Horse, the Pegasus and the Young Ladies

May 14, 2014

My safe place changed again. The grass was golden in color, like wheat. There were animals frolicking around and it was really cheerful and colorful. There was a white horse with black mane and tail, and a giraffe standing to my right. The horse was happy and excited that it stood on its hind legs.

Guido and Selena guided me to the Tree of Light. I walked into nothing but pure, bright light that filled me and engulfed me. Images started to flash in my mind, very fast, like a slide show. I saw two sets of eyes, one after another; animals (a cat and a head of a snake) and people’s faces. The faces were quite clear but as always, I couldn’t remember them afterwards. One that I do remember is an image of a small boy wearing a basketball shirt and shorts, smiling widely, hugging a big dog standing on its hind legs. I can’t remember the rest.

When the flashes were over, I saw Jesus standing to the left in front of me. He did not say anything. He just stood there as if letting me know that he was there.

When I walked out of the Tree of Light, Guido and Selena were there waiting for me. I gave them each a hug and I felt they were happy about the gesture.

As I walked back down the path, the Bay Horse was standing there as usual. And then, a Pegasus, blindingly white and radiating with an even brighter light appeared to my right in front of me. It was flapping its wings, raising its front legs, moving about excitedly.

*******

May 18, 2014

I asked for some guidance today. I had been so distracted lately and it’s been hard to quiet my mind during meditation.

When I reached my safe place, everything was different again. The trees surrounding the meadows were gone and everything was so open and airy, as if helping to declutter my mind. The white horse appeared again.

As I walked into the waterfall, I asked for help. The white horse appeared beside me. I hugged him and he helped me focus. After it was all over, I saw the Pegasus again, acting the same way as before.

*******

May 19, 2014

My safe place was very bright. There were lots of butterflies fluttering around and I saw the white horse from a distance running from the left to the right of the meadows. I approached him and he walked with me to the waterfall. As I stood under the waterfall, other animals came to surround me, facing me in a semi-circle. There were many different animals but the one that stood out to me was a light brown rabbit.

*******

May 20, 2014

I let myself be guided this time. I found myself in a different place. I was taken to a clearing in the woods, the sun was shining brightly. There were two young women standing at the edge of the clearing. They were wearing a long, sleeveless gown-like dress—one was in pink, the other one in black. The one in pink led me to the middle of the clearing. Standing there, I looked up to the sky and rays of blindingly bright light shone on me. Images flashed in my mind, and the ones that I could remember were baby patterns and the belly of a pregnant woman. There were also flowers in full bloom in bright red, orange and yellow, and smaller pink flowers.

Who am I? Read my story here.

[subtleawakening]

Another step into the unknown

As I've mentioned in my previous blogs, I am a very private person. The journals that I keep, I keep to myself. It never occurred to me, nor have I ever wanted, to share them with anyone. I remember as a teenager, I found out that my mother read my journal and I was livid. It was a hurtful violation of my privacy and I never wanted that to ever happen again.

I am no stranger to blogging, though. I started blogging way back when it wasn't as popular yet. I never blogged anything too personal, I was mostly venting and my audience were limited to a couple of friends. In any case, it always took a backseat when life got a little too busy, and add to that fact Facebook and other social media came out of the woodwork so there was hardly any time to spend on sharing my random thoughts.

My meditation journal is something I hold very close to my heart. It is an intimate journey to a world that was unknown to me (and probably many other people on the planet) and the experiences I've been having are quite out of this world although I have no doubt that there are many people out there who are having more extraordinary lives.

Through the gentle "advice" from my guides, I had started a blog and now I am adding this one as well. I'm not really sure what the plan is, but I've learned to listen to them intently as they only have my best interest at heart.

[subtleawakening]

Journal Entries May 1-12, 2014 - Messages Everywhere

May 1, 2014

The face of a tiger appeared before me. It has light brown eyes. It was staring straight at me, with a soft look in its eyes. It said to me, “You are your own teacher.” Then it started to walk away, and as it did, I saw its entire body which turned into a cheetah.

*******

May 4, 2014

Note: Just came back from a two-week trip and this was the proper meditation I’ve done since that time.

It was nice to be back to my safe place again, to be in the meadows where everything is colorful and vibrant. I went straight to the waterfall. After spending a while under it, I felt a strong sense of missing Jesus. I missed the warmth of his unconditional love. Although I couldn’t see him, I felt him.

*******

May 6, 2014

All I got today was a message: “Pay attention to the signs around you. They will lead you to what you need to do.”

*******

May 12, 2014

When I went to my safe place, I saw that it changed. There were all sorts of flowers all around, all mixed together. The place was alive with birds flying around and the sounds of other animals frolicking about.

I proceeded to the waterfall and after only a short while, Jesus appeared. He was radiant with bright, golden light. He filled me with his light and said: “See yourself for who you really are. You are a spirit with a physical body. Your body is not you. You are an empowered being. The world is your oyster. You can do anything you want.”

[subtleawakening]

Journal Entries April 19-28, 2014 - Animals, Spirits and Businessmen

April 19, 2014

I was under the waterfall* but after a while, it suddenly disappeared. I then surrounded myself in a big bubble of white light. When I did, I floated up into the sky, watching the scenery below me slowly disappear. I started floating into space. There was a sort of stream of spiritual images, like energy of things going on, passing me by and I was swept into it. Then I found myself inside a building with a Japanese garden inside. There was a sort of bridge or walkway made of wood from one side of the garden to the other. There stood a man in a suit, in his 30s, who looked troubled. I approached him and asked if he was okay. He said yes, but I knew better. I just knew that he wasn’t okay.

             *The waterfall is part of one of the guided meditations that I regularly used back then.

*******

April 20, 2014

I had a hard time focusing today. My meditation was staggered and fragmented. Guido and Selena came to accompany me, guide me. But all I saw were images of animals. I saw black hawks flying and screeching above me. An image of a dolphin flashed before me, followed by a baby leopard which stretched out in front of me.

*******

April 27, 2014

Guido and Selena walked me into the Tree of Light. I found myself in a very dark place with streets sloping downhill and old houses. I was looking around but I couldn’t figure out what I was doing there. Then I heard that I will meet a woman who will see my abilities who will tell me that I should develop them.

Suddenly, I saw that I was with two famous businessmen. It had something to do with healing. I was explaining to them how it works, that it comes from a higher source that they will only be healed if didn’t interfere with their own path. I said to them that we choose our life and death before we were even born and sometimes, an illness or disease is supposed to teach them something. Then I saw a bald eagle flying overhead.

Physically, my lower abdomen felt warm which slowly intensified and then slowly went up to my chest.

*******

April 28, 2014

I was surrounded by mountains. Spirits, many spirits, were swirling around me. Energy from the mountains and the spirits surrounded me, streaming to me from all directions. My hands and feet felt glowing with heat and tingling with energy.

[subtleawakening]

Journal Entries April 15-18, 2014 - The Healing Hands

April 15, 2014

I had so many questions today that I hoped to be answered, but when I got to my safe place, Guido and Selena would not let me enter the Tree of Light. As I wondered why, all of a sudden, I was bathed in golden light. Lost in my own inner world, I started to relive moments from the past for which I still hold anger.

I was shown fights that I had with other people, situations with co-workers and strangers that made raw feelings of anger bubble up to the surface. I re-lived each situation and went through the full range of emotions that I felt in the past and I wondered why I was still angry for things that I could no longer take back. Although it left me distraught, I realized that I have to deal with all these pent-up energies before I could move forward with my life.

*******

April 17, 2014

Huge golden white light was surrounding my hands, as if I stuck my hands into bowling balls made of light. I could physically feel tingling in my hands. Then I saw myself placing my glowing hands on a stranded whale on a beach where there were a few people trying to help him.

Someone spoke to me and said, “What matters is what you believe. What matters is your own faith. Watch out for ways or things that do not reflect who you really are.”

*******

April 18, 2014

My whole body was surrounded by intense white light but the spheres of light coming from my hands where even brighter. I felt my physical hands vibrate.

I found myself walking in the mountains. I took my shoes off, sat and put my hands on the grass feeling the energy of the earth. Then I heard, “You don’t have to be there physically to do this.” I understood that I only have to imagine being there and it will be as if I was there.

As I walked back the path at the end of my meditation, the bay horse and a deer were walking back with me. All of a sudden, a black snake came slithering from behind us, moving ahead of us as if leading the way.

Snake symbolism:

Acknowledge that the universal healing forces flow through your heart and hands in ways that help others find their own destiny.

[pubicbear-deactivated20151010]

“You exist in time, but you belong to eternity. You are deathless, living in a body of death. Your consciousness knows no death, no birth, and you are not conscious of your consciousness. That is the whole art of meditation; becoming conscious of consciousness itself.” - Osho

[subtleawakening]

Journal Entry April 12, 2014 - Jesus and the Beagle

I couldn’t believe how too blind I was to see the signs and messages that I had been given in the past. It’s been a little more than a year ago when I had this experience in meditative state and I was too stubborn to realize the value of what I had seen. I had forgotten it, buried within the pages of my journal, and now, as I look back I ask myself, “What on earth stopped me from taking steps to go in this direction?”

You see, if I had not had a validating experience about this, I would probably just dismiss it completely. The thing is, just a couple of days before this happened, an intuitive told me that I will be working mostly with people but I will also work with animals to help those who have communication problems, like autistic children. Now, you could probably understand why I was skeptic about the vision because my logical mind probably told me then that it was obviously the power of suggestion that made me make it all up in my mind. That might be very well the case, but in reality, nowhere in my subconscious will you find an inclination towards this. At that time, working with animals was a desire that was as red-hot as a burning coal in mid-summer’s day barbecue. But I know nothing about autism and I am neither qualified nor appropriate for that calling.

My point is, never ever ignore any sign or message you receive from the spirits who guide you. They are there not to mislead you but give you insights and revelations that you need to help you with the choices that you make. In this case, I apparently refused to take this piece of counsel at that time—and I don’t know why—and decided that there might be other options for me. And that’s okay. That’s why we have free will. There are many options available and each option brings with it different “delivery time,” challenges and opportunities. If I had chosen that path, my life would definitely be different now, but who says I will not go down that road in the future? All I know is, it didn’t feel right to me at that time, and if my heart is not completely surrendering to it, then I know it’s not the time.

April 12, 2014

As I wandered around my safe place, I enjoyed the beauty of the surrounding and soaked in the sun. I approached the Tree of Life, and walked around it, feeling the light surrounding it. I sat on the ground and leaned on the tree while keeping my hands on it. At first, only my hands were covered in its light, but it slowly engulfed my whole body as if I was part of the tree.

Then I got up and walked to the other side of the tree. I was looking at the valley right at the foot of the mountains and saw the Bay Horse running fast towards me. When he finally reached me, I stroked him and his beautiful neck and black mane. And then off we rode to the distance.

Like the last time, he flew really fast and we were flying through the clouds for a while but I could see the greenery below through the gaps. When we stopped, we were in a vast, green valley surrounded by mountains. I asked what that place was, and I received in my mind “World of Creation.” I saw many animals walking around, and in between them appeared Jesus. As I came to him, there was a dog with him—a Beagle, a rescued one as I understood it—and said that this dog will help me train other dogs to help children with autism. He showed that after the Beagle dies and I used another dog with a child he previously worked with, the child asked for him, and I said to the child, “Look into his eyes.” As he did, the child understood.  

Then Jesus said to me, “Do you now see?” I understood that this is what he wanted me to do but I wondered about healing, which I had been shown in my previous inner visions. He said that I will still use those abilities but I’ve already used those in my previous lives and this time around, I know exactly what to do (or not to do) with them. But I also need to focus on the human side of healing and not just the “divine” side of it.

[subtleawakening]

Journey Entry April 11, 2014 - My Spirit Posse

As I read this journal entry, I can’t even begin to describe how profound and powerful this meditative vision was. It felt more intense to me now than when I experienced it more than a year ago. This might have something to do with the fact that I now have a better understanding of what they were saying back then and how everything is part of a bigger picture that is being revealed to me piece by piece. I have very recently met two of the “mystery spirit guides” I met back then. I can’t wait to meet the rest.

Before starting this meditation, I stated my intention to meet all my guides—my spirit posse, my spirit dream team—since I already know my primary guide and my guardian angel.   

April 11, 2015 

When I walked into my safe place, I didn’t know what to expect. I wondered, “Will the environment change? Will I be taken to a different place? Will anything happen at all?” But as I walked around, I see Guido and Selena already standing by the Tree of Life waiting for me, anticipating my arrival. I could sense a feeling of excitement from them. For the first time, I could see Selena’s huge white feathery wings as if welcoming me in excitement. I could feel it from Guido, too. They ushered me into the Tree immediately. Without any waiting, I see right away that there were beings waiting for me. Once inside, everything was bathed in the familiar yellow golden light. It was very bright everywhere. They were all standing there welcoming me. 

There stood twelve beings, standing side by side in an inverted U formation. Guido stood on the right and next to him was Selena. Two beings close to the middle stood next to her. On the left were five beings and there were three in middle in front of me. 

I asked if I could see everyone’s faces and know their names. The first one to show himself to me was a man, who turned out to be St. Francis of Assisi. He didn’t have to say anything, I just knew. He stood on the right in front of me. He was glowing with the yellow golden light and slowly, I saw his face but very briefly. He has a slim face and short beard. I could barely make out a long hair through the light. His face looks very soft and kind. Beside him, in the middle, was Mother Mary, and on the left next to her stood Jesus. 

I turned to the beings on my left. I couldn’t see their faces nor did I hear them say their names but I felt a sense of familiarity, excitement and love from them. They were happy to see me. I thought perhaps it wasn’t time for me to know each and every one of them at this point in time. 

I then turned to the two beings standing next to Selena and saw that they were guardian angels. They have huge wings—opened up as if to welcome me— and their feet weren’t quite touching the ground. Then I heard, “You can have as many as you want.” I understood that Selena is my primary guardian angel but at any given point, if I needed more angels to protect me, they will be there, as many as I need. 

And then, Jesus and Mother Mary stepped aside, allowing me to walk past them and go to this bright source of light behind them. I saw no path, just intensely bright light. They all watched as I walked through the light. My face started to vibrate softly. Then, like fog lifting, I saw before me the view of a city that has been shown to me four times in the past. Then I heard them say, “The world is your oyster. The world is at your feet.” I turned around and saw that they were all still watching me. They said, “You can see. You will see. You can hear. You can feel. You will feel.” 

I felt a sensation in my stomach, on my solar plexus, like someone was pushing it lightly with a hand or a fist. I also felt intense heat in my feet, like they were on fire. I remembered that I had recently asked to feel my spirit guide’s signature, to know that my spirit guide, in this case Guido, is with me at any given time. 

Then, I walked back to where they were, where I stood in the middle of the U formation. I asked if I was on the right path. They did not say anything but I felt a sense of excitement from them. I then asked what the next step for me is, and they said, “You will know.” 

I voiced my concern that I don’t have much time left to do my soul’s mission and they said, “You will live a long life” over and over again. I asked if they meant this lifetime (thinking maybe they meant more incarnations in the future), but again they said, “You will live a long life.” 

Then it was suddenly over, and when I opened my eyes, I saw one word very clearly with my inner eyes: ENLIGHTENED.

[subtleawakening]

Journal Entry April 5, 2014 - Jesus In The Garden

When I read this journal entry now more than a year later, I was stunned because I do not even remember writing it (thank goodness for journals, huh?). Seeing where I am now at this stage of my spiritual journey, I could see clearly what it was and why it happened.

I was born and raised Catholic. I was made to live a religious life just because I was born into it. Growing up, I just went through the motions of religious practices and held beliefs that were not my own. I still hold some of those “beliefs” but I’ve weeded out those that do not serve my higher good. I once said that I wish I was born into a family that allowed me to choose my own religion. But now I would say, I wish I was born into a family that let me develop spiritually. Regardless, I am lucky to have been given some knowledge that had proven to be part of the truth that I now live, while adding new ones that have come into their own to fill the reality of my new life.

Spiritual growth transcends religious faith. But it will incorporate that which had been part of your reality, your truth. As a Catholic, I was raised to believe in God, Jesus, the Blessed Mother, angels and saints. So it is no surprise that my inner visions would include Jesus (or so I thought, but that’s another blog).

Today I understand that in this journal entry, I was just slowly beginning to enter a realm that is far beyond the reach of my own understanding. I was like a little child learning to play a musical instrument but can’t quite hit the right notes yet; or like tuning in to a radio station and can’t quite get a clear signal. If you have been through those moments, you would know how frustrating it could be.

Back then, all I could think of was, “What was Jesus doing in my meditation? Was it really him? What was he trying to say?” In time, I learned to hit the right notes and play a tune. I ain’t playing like Mozart yet, but at least I am already making beautiful music. I finally found that radio station I was tuning in to and listening to the music that I wanted to hear.

April 5, 2014

Evening Meditation:

I was floating in space and angels grabbed me by the arms and brought me to this beautiful garden unlike anything on earth. The sun was shining over the horizon. The waters were glistening from the sun.

They left me there alone. As I stood there waiting, a shadow/shape appeared, I had the impression it was a man. He took my face in his hands but I couldn’t see his face. Then we started to walk a bit and as we did, he slowly started to look like Jesus. He had long, black, wavy hair. His beard was lighter. I heard him say, “child.” He called me “child.” I was confused. Then a little later, when it became clear to me who he was, he embraced me, held my head in his hands and said, “My child, my child.”

When this was happening, I smelled a manly scent. I don’t know how to describe it but I just knew it was a man's scent—not perfume, but natural scent. He kept saying, "Believe, believe..."