Don't Worry Be Happy

Don't let one asshole ruin your day, they're not worth getting mad over, they don't deserve your time or tears, if they want to talk shit let them, they don't have any effect on your future, just do what you want to do and be happy!

[suffocated-in-lies-1370]

Not ready to go to school. I need one more day.

[untitled15284]

Can’t count the list of things I know are wrong with me, no need to justify it.

Duality Set It Off (via disc0vering-myself)

[letyourselfliveagain]

[suffocated-in-lies-1370]

Long vent

I really hope you don't find this but if you do I guess you'll know that I really miss you and I'm sorry I couldn't ever be good enough to do anything right. I'm sorry I pushed you away, I just couldn't stand the thought of hurting you anymore. You put up with so much bullshit of mine and usually let it go. I still hold/cuddle your sweatshirt every night wishing it was you. I still cry myself to sleep every night because I know I lost the best thing that's ever happened to me. I guess the reason I hurt you this time is because I was too scared to hurt you and I guess I had to do something that would make you hate me. I freak out every day about hurting you... If you thought I was joking when I said I loved you then you need to go to a psychiatrist just like I'm going to now. "Loved" no I still fucking love you... More than you'll ever know. I look at the pictures of us on my phone every day you know? Wishing I could've been good enough and given you everything you wanted. I wish we had that A1 communication we had in the first 1/2 of our relationship... What changed after it? Another secret you should know... I punched myself in the head for a while so I could try to forget how I hurt you so I could move on, stop worrying about hurting you and try to fix us. Everything still gets to me. Eats away at me til I go nuts every day. It just sucks that when I hit myself I guess I hit the part that made me start forgetting everything. I still hit myself because I'm still hurting you and I want it to go away so I can make you happy. I'm so sorry I couldn't fix it. I'm sorry. I miss you so much please take me back I'll do anything. Please. Please. Please. I don't have the guts to tell you any of this because I know if even there was that chance that you'd take me back I'd still be hurting you. My forgetting, my anger, etc. I want to be that stable man for you so bad. And I saw your part 2 vent and to answer your question the "us alone" is the real me. The sweet man you fell in love with, yeah? That's the real me. What's fucked up is I don't even remember being an asshole to you in front of people. All that plays in my head now is when you hit me when I did something wrong. And all I do is hold in everything now because I'm too scared to hurt you. Please beat the fuck out of me, then maybe, just maybe I'll be able to stop worrying about hurting you and I'll be able to be that sweet man you fell in love with again. Please just punch me in the head until I snap back to the old me. Please. Please. Please. I'll do anything. Oh god I can't stop hitting things or crying. Fuck I miss you so much. Godamnit please take me back... I need you... You were right... I can't do this I can't... I need you in my arms again... Fuck I even miss pouring you sweet tea. Oh god please give me just one second to be with you again... I'd give anything to be yours again... Godamnit no I can't... I can't hurt you again. If you and mom didn't take my blades I'd probably be gone by now... Why did you do it... I could've been out of your life sooner and I wouldn't have ever hurt you this bad... Go back in time and don't take them... Let me kill myself please. It won't stop it won't stop. I miss you. I want things to be okay so bad. I wish that day would've never happened. I wish you knew how much I love you and care about you and worry every day. I didn't have any last words on the phone earlier because I couldn't stand it if there was that chance we got back together and I hurt you again. You're just too good for me. You've always deserved better and I'm sorry I couldn't give that to you. I wanted to give you everything and more. That little voice in my head kept telling me "You're gonna screw this up. You're gonna hurt her. You'll never be enough for her. You won't ever be her big strong man, you're a weak little bitch that's going to hurt her. She's going to find someone better. You're a piece of shit, quit trying. Etc."... If you see this just know I love you. I really do. More than anything. And I miss you to the moon and back.

[ikindahateyoualot]

👼✨🌟

[suffocated-in-lies-1370]

I love my girlfriend more than anything, she makes me smile all the time, she’s got the best sense of humor and a personality so fabulous jeffree star got fired hahaha :) :3 <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

[suffocated-in-lies-1370]

Well I fucked up again... Hope you're fucking happy, I guess y'all are totally done with me this time... I got what I deserved... Fucking thanks...

[save-mefrom-me]

[suffocated-in-lies-1370]

High School's great

[suffocated-in-lies-1370]

I feel emptier and emptier each day... I want to smoke more than anything and it's killing me that I made a promise that I'd stop... Stop for the only person who means the world to me... Been clean since February... I don't want to hurt her anymore... I can't stand the look on her face when she's sad, if anything kills me inside it's seeing her sad... I miss winter... All I need is a blade and drugs to feel secure... All I want to do is see her smile

[suffocated-in-lies-1370]

I'm so tired of all of this shit, I just want everything to stop... I'm just tired... Tired of the bullshit and the lies.. I wish I could cut without anyone knowing or asking if I'm okay, I'm just sick of it, I miss the old me

[i-justreally-like-cats-okay]

x

[destinydeoxys-deactivated201404]

[diana8698-deactivated20141009]

[depressionen-stehn-mir-so-gut]

Und schon wieder ganz am Boden angekommen.

[they-messed-me-up]

[when-the-life-loses-its-meadning]

[youmatterlifeline]