My first sugaring experience & What I learned from it.
This blog was written for the sugar daddy dating app Sudy, thanks Sudy for supporting me writting the story out, xoxo.
I know how sugar babies always want to see the glamour side of sugaring, but I wanna share something else, it’s a long story. Not gonna educate anyone just hoping it can help other sugar babies especially the newbies.
My first sugaring experience
When I started sugaring a few years ago, I was totally broke and in a terrible relationship, poor and desperate, struggling with the heavy burden of college loan. Just about the time I'm going to give up the college, I found a story on the internet talking about how being a sugar baby changed this girl's life(Which turns out to be just part of the press release of a famous sugar dating site, don’t get fooled). After that there came a sound in my heart saying something like: "just go and be a gold digger, manipulate men and take their money!" Because the sugar story I read looks pretty easy, it’s like every sugar baby can get 4k a month only with a very small price to pay. So silly me thought maybe just a few dates with some old men can help me get rid of the debt.
As a newbie I had no idea about the trending of sugaring and what to do. So I did much research about sugaring both online and offline. My first real sugar daddy is a pretty old man who is literally at the age of my grandpa, sounds kinda weird right? I met him on a sugar daddy dating site after waiting (and dealing with some fake and salt guys) for about 2 months. He’s actually a 63 old retired engineer. Lets call him Mr G. Mr G looks like a gentleman from his messages and we have some nice chats there. He told me that he lost his wife a few years ago, and he had a daughter and a son but they both lived abroad, and he was just lonely and needed some one to keep accompany with. At first I thought this kind of companion is just some normal dates like dinner and talk or movie. But to my appointment, he didn't agree on the relationship without sex! He said that he used to have 3 sugar babies, all of them are young college girls (obviously young college girl is always his favorite type), and all the sugar relationships are related to sex. Honestly I was literally in a shock, I realized that those perfect sugar stories are just fair tales. You can't ask a man to pay for your college just with some nice dinners and romantic dates! But I really need the money, I need to feel the secure of my basic needs. I've dated old guys at forties before in reality, but never with someone as old as Mr G. The truth is I don't have problems with gap date as long as I like the guy. "At least old men are much better than the broke young boys", I comforted myself like that.
To me sugaring is perfectly normal and I don’t fell ashamed about it. But you know people always like to blame women for everything especially with those kind of stuff that are related to sex. People will judge you, gossip about you, criticize you and humiliate you, like slut shaming. At that time sugaring is not as popular as it is today, so I was the one to be blamed. I have to admit that I have to keep my sugaring life a secret and I was under much pressure doing it.
I decided to meet him in reality and see if I like Mr G. We set up a POT date at the coffee. Yes, the truth is that either is he handsome or generous as the sugar stories said! He did show me the pictures of his thirties before, well all I can say is that he looks totally different and much older than I've imagined. Thanks to god I didn’t leave the date right away, we had some talk and it went on pretty well, I just felt the vibe. Luckily I found that Mr G was a nice gentleman with humor, he showed the respect of sugar babies and said he liked me, willing to help me with the college fee as long as we keep a good relationship. The first POT date was good, we had some drink later and talked about each other. Then he just drove me home, yes I didn’t get laid on the first date like I said he’s a gentleman. I hinted him that I don’t want it goes “too fast” and he agreed. On the second date I told him how much money I needed and he gave me the budget. We negotiated the allowance and dating details like how many dates a month and where to go. You know I have father issue and always prefer mature man with wisdom and humor, I guess if he's younger I thought maybe I could fall l in love with him. And he never took advantage of me although I’m just a newbie and haven’t learned how to handle sugar relationship or protect myself. We kept this relationship for nearly a year, and he helped me with about half of my debt, which include the college fee and the living expenses. Yes, I said only half of my debt, as I mentioned he's not a millionaire or as generous as the fairy tale said. And either did he buy me a Ferrari or a Louis Vuitton bag. But he's a nice lover and we had a good time. Although sex wasn’t the necessary part of each date, I have to admit the he’s pretty good in bed. Drop the stereotype of old men girls, I won’t say MR G is the best but he was very gentle and had far more skill, experience, and emotional maturity than young guys, he made each time a very enjoyable one. I bet Mr G can find a great woman without pay and I asked why he needs a sugar baby. He said he liked this free and drama free relationship with young girls, he wanted to buy the age gap and feel young again.
I like Mr G and I'm grateful for finding him at the beginning of my sugaring life, not some weird creepy guys. The relationship ended when I finished the college. I decided to leave the city and start something new in a new place, he didn’t agree on the long distance relationship and stopped the allowance. So the sugar relationship just broke up peacefully. It's a pretty good start of sugaring, Mr G has supported me both financially and emotionally, he taught me the some basic rules of sugar relationship and totally changed me from a newbie to a mature sugar baby.
What I learned from the first sugaring experience?
Whatever people call this relationship between sugar daddy and sugar baby, it's pretty much just a kind of mutually beneficial relationship. Sugaring is much different from the normal dating. On the normal dates people usually lie about what they want and what they have to offer, they like to make themselves look better and attract each other. Of course there can be more lies in sugar relationship, but when it comes to the needs and demands, people are much more truthful. We put the cards on the table at the very beginning. Cause lying and hiding your needs is just a waste of time. Sugaring relationship is just based on the trade of benefits. Like for instance, when sugaring you always go on a POT dates at first. You'll sat and talk face to face about your allowance, what you except for each other in this relationship and so on.Don’t fell shy or embarrassed, you have to fight for the allowance like you fight for the wage with your boss.
Once the money stopped, you need to stop whatever you do for that person because the relationship is mutual. When I ended the relationship with Mr G I’ve hesitated too cause it’s kinda hard to let go. But I need a whole new start in a new place so I ended it. Real life relationship is not actually a mutual thing and also not mutual beneficial. So the difference is that sugar baby side is more like a business thing, you save your heart and things for that. No drama, no hurt. In real life relationship you have the willing to be hurt. Every crazy thing you wanna do on that person is all because of love. So there's monetary beneficial and emotional beneficial.
But on the other hand, sugar dating has something in common with normal dating. It's kinda of like the same thing, you are just trying to make yourself look good to the other person. It's nothing wrong, just 2 people who are deciding what they wanna do and how they wanna live their life and what they wanna do to each other.
Sugaring is totally up to you and you should create your relationship on your own term. What you do beneficially is up to you. The sugaring could be anything, literally you choose what you want and you agree on it: sex ,without sex, just somebody who want to go dating or just dinner. If that person didn't hold it up to the end of the bargain, you can just end it. Don't give in if you're not comfortable with it cause once you give in men always ask more and you'll lose the bottom line.
Yeah that's pretty much what I learned from the first sugaring experience with Mr G, not a perfect one but I like it and hope it can help you my sugar sisters!
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