✴︎ put your lovin' where your mouth is.

your sugar talking isn't working tonight.

[sugartclking]

𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐂𝐋𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 — a dash exclusive, semi-selective, medium to high activity, indie multimuse blog. this blog/my writing will contain triggering/nsfw content, including smut, but i am also non-smut friendly. MINORS DNI. written and loved by harley. 25+. they/them. est.

𝐧𝐚𝐯. ✦ 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬. ✦ 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐬. ✦ 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬. ✦ 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬. ✦ 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬. ✦ 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬.

[sugartclking]

hey, pals. i've decided i'm moving blogs to be more private/mutually-exclusive because the burnout from taking on more than i can handle was Real. now i can focus on writing stuff i truly enjoy writing instead of putting out half-assed things. if we're mutuals and you're still interested in writing with me, shoot me a message and i'll pass along my new blog for you to follow. this also applies if we're not mutuals and we're still currently writing, too. <3

[sugartclking]

hey, pals. i've decided i'm moving blogs to be more private/mutually-exclusive because the burnout from taking on more than i can handle was Real. now i can focus on writing stuff i truly enjoy writing instead of putting out half-assed things. if we're mutuals and you're still interested in writing with me, shoot me a message and i'll pass along my new blog for you to follow. this also applies if we're not mutuals and we're still currently writing, too. <3

[thatsmyaphrodite]

❀ KEHLANI via instagram ( quran.smith )

[sugartclking]

lately, i've been heavily debating about moving to a private/mutually-exclusive blog because i'm just so burnt out from everything. for those of you who have done it/are currently doing it, is it worth it?

[dearsgcd]

"it is normal," jeremiah argued, still not the least bit off put by any of it. he knew how he felt about carter. he thinks he knows how carter feels about him. there was this electric energy between them that only sparked when next to each other. even more so when it was just the two of them. the only way to ger under carter's skin was to push his buttons until he exploded. get him out of his head for a little bit so they could actually figure shit out. and what better way to figure what any of this chemistry was than to just flirt with him. throw left field comments his way that he wasn't expecting. the reaction that carter gave to him was one that he had been hoping for. a dent in the armor that carter kept around himself at all times. "i had never meant anything more in my life. this is the kind of shit i don't say out loud unless i mean it. it causes too many problems otherwise." he had learned the hard way that shameless flirting sometimes could lead you down a road you don't actually want to be down. sometimes jeremiah said stuff in the past just to be kind and give the person he was talking to confidence. but now he learned to only do it if he meant it or he'd end up with someone that he didn't actually care for and waste both their times. "but dangerous is the fun part in all this. you gotta live life on the edge at some point, dude."

[sugartclking]

"No, it's not normal," Carter snapped, the words coming out angrier than he meant them to be, but he didn't pull them back. He couldn't. "You keep saying it like it's just... Fuckin' easy. Like it's just something people say over dinner and suddenly it all makes sense." He let out a harsh breath, tossing his fork onto his plate with a clatter. "You don't get it. There's so much shit wrapped up in this. My career, your career, the team, the media, the locker room... All the eyes on us all the goddamn time. It's not just some fun little 'live on the edge' thing for me." His knee bounced restlessly, the only outward sign of how rattled he actually was. "And you sitting there acting like it's nothing... Like it's just some cute dangerous game?" Carter scoffed, but it sounded pained more than anything. "You think that makes this easier? You think that fixes anything?" The quarterback dragged a hand down his face, his fingers pressing hard against his brow like he could physically push the chaos out of his head. "I can't just—" He started, but cut himself off and swallowed harshly, then tried again. "I can't just pretend the world disappears because you feel like flirting today, Jay. It's not as simple as you're making it out to be. It's never been that simple."

[sugartclking]

sorry i haven’t really done much lately, i just haven’t felt like it, honestly. muse feels kinda low for everything altogether. i’ll try to get back into the swing of things soon enough. love u all. 🩷

[tak3mealiv3]

"It looks like whatever you want it to look like. Even if my sisters came in and charged all over the place." He took a step back to look at the tree, head tilting. "If there are ornaments you wanna move or remove or add on. Anything we see when we're out and about that you wanna get, we can get. I know we can get...well, it seems like we can get pretty insane about it. But ultimately, the process is the fun part. A good Christmas tree is never finished. People buy ornaments, ornaments fall over, things get moved around. As long as it feels right and not overly produced." Xander looked at Scarlett then, grinning when he found her already looking at him. "Good," he said, nodding. He wanted her to like it because it was theirs, not because his sisters had taken over. He paused when she spoke, and he swore in the silence of his mind he could hear his heart try to fly out of his chest. "Wait, are you serious?" His hands immediately gripped her face, his wide grin taking over his face and reaching the corners of his eyes. "Oh, my God, yeah. Yeah of course the offer is still open. The offer was never closed." His excitement faded, then. Not that he was any less excited, but he didn't want to jump all over Scarlett like Nala the way she did when she heard the words walk or treat. He needed to be calm, for her sake. "Sweetheart, are you sure? Cause you know you don't have to do it just for my sake."

[sugartclking]

Scarlett's breath got caught in her throat when Xander's big hands came up to her face, his palms warm against her cheeks, and his excitement so bright it felt like standing too close to the sun. For a second, she didn't know what to do except stare at him; at the way his grin lit up his whole face, at the little laugh in his eyes, at the disbelief she could practically feel buzzing off him. God, she really fucking loved him. "I'm serious," she whispered as she lifted her hands and wrapped her fingers loosely around his wrists. "I wouldn't joke about something like that." When his excitement softened, a gentle warmth spread throughout her body. He wasn't trying to rush her or guilt her, he just wanted to make sure she wasn't hurting herself to make him happy. No one had ever given her that kind of space before. Scarlett let out a shaky exhale, leaning into his touch as her eyes filled with tears. "Xander... I know I don't have to. And I'm not doing it just for you, I'm doing it because I want to. Because being with you feels safe, and because I want to try this... The holidays, family, all of it. Even if it scares the fucking shit out of me." Her thumb brushed against the edge of his sweater where her hand had fallen. "I want to be there with you and your family. I want to have those memories, too." Scarlett gave him a small, almost shy smile. "So yes, I'm sure."

[tak3mealiv3]

"It is. And much quieter since it just became the immediate family that stays." He was hoping, in his way of hinting, that the quiet atmosphere might encourage Scarlett to want to join his family this year. Maybe if Thanksgiving worked out, he would broach the subject. Right now, he was perfectly content to just walk through the house with her, seeing all the small details she had worked so hard on. His sisters must have brought the multicolored lights he liked, but he liked the standard white light garlands that hung from doorways, wrapped around the banister. He was more than happy to see the grand finale, to see the culmination of all of Scarlett's hard work with his sisters. He knew how hard she worked, and especially knew that she didn't take stuff like this lightly. The fact she was willing to move forward, and put herself out of her comfort zone for his sake meant more than she would ever know. "The official approved Christmas tree," Xander repeated, a wide grin on his face as he took in every small detail. Every ornament, carefully placed so there weren't too many of the same kind close together. That must have been his sisters' doing. "The real question is, is it Scarlett Wright approved." He tugged her a little closer to him. "It's your tree, too, and your idea. You gotta like it too."

[sugartclking]

Her fingers still loosely linked with his as he took in every strand of garland, every warm white light, every ornament she'd spent hours trying to place 'correctly' (whatever that meant). She wasn't sure she'd gotten it right, she wasn't even sure there was a right way to do any of this. But seeing his face soften with that wide, boyish grin... It made every second worth it. Scarlett let herself lean into Xander's side when he tugged her closer, her free hand resting against his stomach where his sweater had ridden up just a bit. "Scarlett Wright approved?" She repeated with a small huff of a laugh. "I mean... I still don't know what half of this is supposed to look like, but..." Her then gaze drifted to the tree again. Their tree. The one his sisters helped her with, trying to decide if the snowflake ornaments were too close together or if the star at the top was crooked. She reached out and adjusted one ornament that absolutely did not need adjusting. "Yeah," she finally said, but her voice came out quieter than expected, full of truths she still struggled to say out loud. "I like it. I like... All of it, actually." Scarlett then swallowed quietly, her nerves going crazy as she turned to look up at Xander. His face was open and hopeful in a way that made her heart ache. She knew what he was doing — the gentle hints, the soft nudges, the way he made every holiday story sound like an invitation instead of pressure. And he didn't even know he'd already convinced her. She took in a deep, quiet breath, her fingers absentmindedly twisting into the fabric of his sweater. "Xander," she said softly. "I've been thinking about what you said a few weeks ago. And about your family, and how they... Want me to be included." Scarlett's voice trembled, but she didn't look away. "I want to come... For Thanksgiving. And for Christmas." She felt her lips lift into the smallest, shyest smile. "If the offer's still open... I want to spend the holidays with your family."

[sugartclking]

being a bengals fan brings nothing but straight up pain

[tak3mealiv3]

"I mean, obviously you're musically inclined if you've been practicing and working so hard and you're still so talented. That's what it's all about: practice." Her fingers idly brushed against the piano keys, and she pressed lightly on one, the key just barely making a noise in response. "Was it difficult to balance your class load and your football schedule before everything went down? I imagine physics was a lot of work."

[sugartclking]

"I meant I wasn't born with it, silly," Jamie chuckled, tough his tone was nothing short of serious. He watched as Carter dragged her fingers across the keys, then without so much as thinking about it, he reached out to pull her down onto his lap. Just so that he could be closer to her. "It was, yeah. But it was nothing I couldn't handle. I knew if the football thing didn't work out, I'd at least have that to fall back on. But I guess the universe decided to steer me down a different path than working in physics," he said, lifting his shoulders into a shrug. Sure, he loved his current job, but he still wished he could be out there on the field like he was supposed to be. "It's okay, though. Maybe we never would have met if nothing bad happened to me all those years ago, and I don't wanna think about that."

[forgetmcnotts]

GREY'S ANATOMY | Shiny Happy People (6.22)

[tak3mealiv3]

"A menace?" Xander scoffed dramatically. "I can't believe you would say something so untrue. How dare you." He nudged her gently with his hip, taking a minute to squeeze her hand. "Stop," he chided, though he was smiling. He was glad, at the very least, that Scarlett was comfortable with addressing her past, even in a darkly humorous way. She wasn't ignoring it or afraid to bring it up, just like they discussed previously. They couldn't ignore it happened, but they could still acknowledge it and move forward from it. "It was always the one thing that really...grounded us. You know? My dad's side of the family had been going to the house in the mountains forever, and once my parents started getting serious about each other my mom and my grandma would join them, then eventually my grandpa. You know he's technically my mom's step dad." He let out a small, wistful sigh. "It just holds so many memories. At one point, there were almost 50 of us there, between the two sides of the family, staying for almost a month. But now it's usually just us, and then the rest of the family comes for the few days of Christmas. My parents got engaged there, so it means more, you know?" Xander squeezed Scarlett's hand once more. "I'm glad to hear that. You did all that yourself, though. Like I said to earlier: if it sounds right, maybe you're subconsciously ready to take that on yourself for your own evolution, not just for someone."

[sugartclking]

Scarlett listened quietly as Xander talked, her fingers threaded with his, her steps slow as they walked deeper into the softly lit living room. She smiled at the right moments, laughed when he scoffed dramatically and called himself anything but a menace. But as he described his family filling a mountain house with fifty people, generations blending, memories stacked on memories, she could feel her chest constricting tighter and tighter. It sounded beautiful, truly. Chaotic, warm, and full. The kind of excitement she used to imagine existed in other people's lives, but not hers. It never did. A place where people stayed, a place where people chose each other. And for a moment, she felt that familiar ache — the ghost of her sisters' faces, the echo of doors closing, the weight of being only fifteen years old and alone, and having to survive the rest of her life on her own because her sisters abandoned her after their parents died. She swallowed it down gently, without letting it touch the surface. He didn't need that right now. They didn't need that right now. So, instead, Scarlett squeezed his hand, grounding herself in the warmth of his palm instead of the bitter cold of old memories. "That... Sounds really nice," Scarlett said softly. She offered him a small smile — a real one, even despite it being a little fragile at the edges. "I can see why the place means so much to you." Before the mood could drop too far, she inhaled, then brightened just a little, nudging him forward with a gentle tug of their joined hands. "Okay," she said, her tone shifting into something a little lighter, warmer, and intentionally playful. "Before I start crying and ruin my mascara, I need to show you the star of the show." She guided Xander toward the Christmas tree, blue eyes glancing to it proudly as they stepped in front of it. The lights shimmered off the ornaments she and his sisters carefully placed — some new, some borrowed from his sisters, some handmade in a panic thirty minutes before he got home. "Ta-da," Scarlett said softly, releasing his hand so she could gesture at it with a little flourish. "The official Kinsley-Approved Christmas Tree. I think this might be my favorite part."

[tak3mealiv3]

"Sweetheart, we're adults. We can talk about these things. I'm not the kind of guy who's going to dodge this type of question, or say 'oh, maybe one day but that's up to you', or just assume that you'd want as many kids as I do because I would just assume you'd take care of them." Xander shook his head. "My parents had five kids, and my dad was just as active in my life as my mom was. If this is a decision we make, it's a decision we make together and a decision we don't take lightly. Even if it's not right away. You still have so much to accomplish, we shouldn't risk that to start a family right away." He chuckled, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Yeah, especially since I'm sure we'd have some explaining to do when they eventually walk in." He wrapped his arms around her waist and stood, nudging her legs to wrap around him. "We should probably clean up before they get back."

[sugartclking]

Xander's quick, resolute denial of being the kind of man who would take responsibility was deeply reassuring to Scarlett, especially when it was something she was still getting used to. Hearing him explicitly state that having children would be a shared, serious decision, and not one that would risk her burgeoning career, calmed the last of her anxiety. The comparison to his own highly involved father was the most comforting detail of all. She squeezed him tightly and melted into the kiss he pressed to her forehead, feeling a profound sense of relief that their visions, while currently focused on different timelines, aligned on the essentials. Scarlett laughed softly, the tension completely dissipating. The thought of his parents walking in on their discussion, while they were still sticky and rumpled on the couch, was enough to motivate her. "You're right," Scarlett agreed, nuzzling her face into his neck. "We probably should. And I appreciate you, Xander. For everything you said, for the gift, and for just being you." He wrapped his arms around her waist, easily standing and nudging her legs to wrap around him. Scarlett complied instantly, hooking her legs around his waist, content to let him carry her. The conversation was closed for now, the intensity replaced by the comfortable, loving ease of their connection. She rested her head back on his shoulder as he started moving them toward the stairs, fully trusting him to take care of the next step.

COMPLETE.

[sunliights]

violet let out a bit of a laugh, rather pleased by the fact she hadn’t been reading the situation all wrong. jamie might’ve just been a nice guy and maybe their evening was only supposed to be shared polite conversation. she didn’t know — what she did know was that she couldn’t walk away without finding out if she was the only one feeling some sort of way about it. “i should make you grovel a little since i had to come back in here…” however the threat to her tone wavered as she stretched out her hand to take his phone. “but you’re lucky i’m in a good mood.”

[sugartclking]

Jamie watched her laugh, and something in him eased a little bit, as if he'd been holding his breath since the moment she walked out. The fact that she'd come back for him... Yeah, he knew she wasn't gonna let him get away that easily, too. "Oh, trust me, I was fully prepared to grovel. On my knees, hands clasped, whole dramatic performance," he said, a grin spreading across his face as he handed over his phone to Violet. "But lucky for me, you've got a soft spot for idiots who don't ask for your number fast enough." He leaned an elbow on the bar, watching her closely. "Feels like my luck's changing already."

[sunliights]

“i don’t think there’s much a drink can’t fix,” kenji grinned, since it was probably rather apparent that he was being a little obtuse on purpose. he saw things every day in his work as a paramedic that he knew a drink couldn’t fix. that being said, it meant that his work pushed him to live every day like it could be his last. “listen — i really want to help but by the time i turn it down the party is just going to spill out into the hallway and don’t you think that will be more annoying?”

[sugartclking]

Simran stared at him for a long moment, unable to form a proper response just yet. His grin only widened, and she swore she could feel her blood pressure rise in real time. "Kenji," she began slowly. "You are either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid for saying that to me right now." Her eyes glanced past him again at the chaos going on inside his apartment and she dragged a hand down her face, then pinched the bridge of her nose. "So your solution is to keep the party loud because if you stop being loud, the loud people will migrate?" She blinked at him. "That's your logic?" Simran held up a finger, forcing him to stop before he could even say anything back. "You're a paramedic, you make life or death decisions on the clock. And this—" She gestured vaguely at him, at the chaos behind him, at the absurdity of the conversation. "...Is the tactical conclusion you arrived at?" She exhaled slowly. "Kenji, you have got to be kidding me."

[tak3mealiv3]

"Well, you know...this," she gestured between them, "didn't really start until after you were already injured. I mean we spent months trying to deny our feelings and stay away from each other, and months before that trying to hide it from everyone else. Then your injury kind of threw a wrench in things, especially when you were in the thick of it. I think we owe it to ourselves to...learn each other for real this time. No hiding, no denial. I feel like I don't know that much about you, and I know there's so much I haven't told you even if we've known each other for over half a year now. And I'd like to." Summer gave him a teasing smile. "You can tell me all about things like the mom that would kill you for being a dick to me."

[sugartclking]

"You're right," Cameron admitted as his hands continued to stroke the skin underneath Summer's shirt. He looked up at her, meeting her eyes with a sincerity he hadn't let himself show in a while. He offered her a small, self-deprecating smile. "We were still figuring things out right when I got hurt. We skipped the whole 'easy' phase of a relationship, I guess." Cameron's gaze softened, taking in her relaxed posture on his lap. "And you do deserve better than the asshole I've been. I'm trying to get back to me, the me that doesn't feel miserable all the time. Being with you... This right here, helps more than anything." He chuckled softly at her last comment, shaking his head. "My mom is a saint. But If she knew how short-tempered and distant I've been to the woman I care about, she'd probably ground me or give me one of those famous Southern guilt trips." Cameron shifted slightly, settling her more comfortably against his body. He then leaned in a little closer, his eyes focused on hers. "You're right, though. I want that, too. I want to know everything about you, even the parts you think I don't need to know. And I'll tell you about the parts of me that aren't just 'the injured guy' or 'the tease who peer pressures you into smoking a joint.' Deal?" He teased.