[suiicideunderground]

hey youuu 내 맘 아고 있나요… 💔💔💔

[suiicideunderground]

wow

[suiicideunderground]

i don’t believe anyone will ever love me the way i want. i am too weird and that’s okay. im really contradictory so id just confuse people. im socially inept and thats okay!!

[suiicideunderground]

relapsing is so embarrassing when u have no one to talk to abt it

[suiicideunderground]

i just wanted him to stop laughing. i hate how weird i am with people. i don’t know. maybe he does really care and he said everything cause he was mad. or maybe he fully meant it. though it wouldn’t matter because we don’t talk. i won’t be confused about mixed signals anymore at least.

i have truly lost like everyone, but it’s okay and i’ll be okay. i willingly decided to cut off my relationships and so i shouldn’t be sad about them. it’s so stupid. i’m so stupid lol.

[n0turg1rlfr1end]

[suiicideunderground]

hii, I've been following you for a while. We've never interacted, but I see you on my fyp all the time. I've noticed that you've been going through a lot lately, and people on here aren't really being understanding, so I just wanted to reach out. I just wanted to lyk that people care about you, and you are loved. You're really important, and what you're going through is totally valid. I've seen you talking about suicide recently and I hope your joking, but I really enjoy seeing you on my fyp and I'd feel terrible if anything happened to you. I really really hope I'm not intruding, because we don't interact, but just know that there's someone on here that values you. You're amazing and deserve good things. I really do hope you feel better.💌🪽

thank u so much 🙁💔

[suiicideunderground]

kill yourself

oh okay well 😭

[suiicideunderground]

how do i kill myself 😭 i need to hurry up honestly idc abt guilt anymore im genuinely gonna die alone 😭

[suiicideunderground]

loll

[suiicideunderground]

you lose 100 pounds and you’re still the same person you were before.

now they just hate me for me and not because of how i looked. now ppl talk to me and realize how annoying i am.

i will always be me no matter how much weight i lose, how different my hair looks, or wherever i am.

i am the stupidest person i know. I do everything that results in me hating myself even more. I have no one because i hate myself. I hate myself because i have no one.

I don’t know what to do anymore and i genuinely am so fucking tired.

I will never be normal and i cannot take it and i wish i could end it but it’s just so stupid.

No body cares about what i have going on and that’s fine. I just wish i could at least have people in my life. i literally get more suicidal every year omfg can the next be the last

[suiicideunderground]

men after calling you theirs and treating you like their girlfriend just to not ever reciprocate that again. but once u hold back ur feelings, now ur putting the whole relationship at risk lolol. like wtf bruh can u love me. like bruh wtf r we lmao.

[suiicideunderground]

holy fuck my life is actually so shit i hope i die bruh😭😭😭

[suiicideunderground]

:(

[suiicideunderground]

guys don’t get nicer when u get skinnier :/

[suiicideunderground]

but at least i got into a university. #huzzah!!!!

[suiicideunderground]

lowk wish my mom would act like a parent. wtf do u mean i have to parent myself to cope. n its like im turning 18 so im not her baby anymore but.. like how are u gone 24/7 at the most important time in my life. no one can do anything about it and i just have to suck it up. i hate everything.

i don’t even feel like my moms daughter the way she talks about me. i didn’t wear dresses or makeup, not bc i don’t like those things but bc i was insecure. it was even worse when she’d diminish how feminine i was because i had so little dresses in my closet. she’s always commented on my body, despite having worked on hers my entire life. she would constantly tell her friends how im rlly diff and i how their daughters are way more alike her. Just recently since losing weight i heard my mom talk to her friend about her trying to buy clothes for me from this brand. Her friend goes, “She probably said no and broke my heart”, which made me feel weird. I didn’t wear makeup n dresses bc i literally was fat and didn’t want attention. now having lost weight my mom is so happy about me wanting to dress now but it’s upsetting. It’s obviously what she wanted for a long time but now i just feel like she was iffy with me all the years before. I know it’s confusing and probably stupid but i feel more like a friend than a daughter.

I don’t tell her cause i’d rather dissociate than confront it. plus im gonna be 18 n she’ll be busy with work. it’s not like she never parented me but she’s always gone out to events and out with friends more than she’s ever sat done and really talked with me. I told this to my therapist in 8th grade but it’s only gotten worse. ironically she took me out of therapy bc i was happier. anyway i don’t want to fix it bc only in a matter of time will i be on my own and she’ll be more of a friend.