Hey guys! My friend @okamixkeshin and I like to RP a lot of different things, and recently we have been REALLY obsessed with Pedro Pascal and his many roles. So, here are a few pages of our GoT AU where Oberyn lives. It is in RP style, so it can be a little rough to read, but I don’t have the time to re-edit and make it more streamline, so. Enjoy!
There will be smut. You have been warned.
“You know what it means to be a noble lady, Audra.” Tella, her mother, explained as she brushed through the long locks of silky auburn locks before carefully weaving her fingers through for a five row braid.
“Yes, mother.” Audra replied quietly, wincing slightly at the brush through her hair. She usually loved it when her mother did her hair instead of one of the handmaidens, but not today. Over the past year since the war for the Seven (now six) kingdoms had ended, both of her older sisters had been married off. Magdalene was married to Sandor Clegane, originally it was going to be Jon Snow, until he was banished. Ophelia, to Gendry, the last of the Baratheons.
Audra was the youngest, having turned fifteen just the spring before. It was peak summer now and warm. Not too hot. They were the family of Pink Lady, near Clegane’s keep. Further North than King’s Landing, so it wasn’t quite as hot, which she was thankful for. She wasn’t one who did well in heat, not with her fair complexion. That made her nervous, also. The suitor supposedly picked for her was a Prince from Dorne, a man she’d heard of, but never seen. Oberyn Martell. She knew very little about him, other than his previous partner (they wouldn’t call her a ‘wife’, which made Audra dread meeting him) had died during the war, as well as all of their children (who were bastards, though, no one called them such).
She had no idea what to expect, only what was expected of her during this meeting.
“What are you going to do?” Tella questioned gently. She really did hate having to marry off all of her daughters like this, but what was she supposed to do? She had barely any footing, and what she did have was entirely because of how she’d assisted the North during the war.
“I am going to do what is expected of me.” Audra answered before letting out a long breath and continuing, “I will do everything I am able to, and do my best to seduce the prince of Dorne… He does not need to wed me, only bed me and leave me with child. If I have his child, you will speak with Queen Sansa of the North to allow the child to take our name so that we may secure ties with the Dornish, while also ensuring our family will have an heir.”
“That’s my girl. Good. They’ll be here before night fall. Make sure you see your maids and get all of your womanly needs situated before the Prince gets here. If he’s anything like he was before the war, he’ll bed you before morning.” Tella said, placing a gentle kiss atop her daughters head and smiling, “I love you, very much.” She said before leaving the room.
“I know…” Audra said softly, closing her eyes and doing her very best not to cry.
Oberyn had long suffered through the war. After narrowly escaping one bad situation after the other he had returned to Dorne to ride out the rest of the godforsaken war. Now the war was over and things were calm, and he had been invited to spend a few weeks with the gracious Pink Lady family. He was looking forward to his time there as he had heard rumors of the family trying to marry him to one of their young daughters. He was a cobra and a resourceful spy. His people were the best in the business.
So when he arrived he graciously retired to his room and took his dinner there after briefly greeting the lord of the house, claiming that he would dine with everyone in the morning. Satisfied with that he ate his dinner peacefully in his room and began to get ready for the night, changing into a pair of silk pants and sitting down on his bed with a lamp on the nightstand so he could read for a little while.
Audra and her handmaidens but so much effort into her that was ultimately, for the day, a complete waste. All of their Dornish guests retired to their rooms upon arrival and Audra had never even been given a chance to introduce herself. During dinner, all her mother did was lecture her about how she needed to find a way to meet the Dornish Prince and get him to bed her. Dinner was also full of 'delightful' tips for now to please a man, which Audra would rather have heard from literally anyone except her own mother. Knowing that her mother did these things made her lose her appetite.
After dinner, she'd taken a candle to roam the halls, to find the room her mother had given to Oberyn for his stay. She stood outside the door quietly, her evening shawl wrapped over her shoulder. A shimmering midnight blue over the lilac of her day dress. She lifted a hand to knock on the wood, but her heart rate quickened and she couldn't. She couldn't muster the courage to do it and she turned, fleeing down the hall, up the stairs and into her own room. Tomorrow would be a new day.
Tomorrow was just as awful, if not worse. Her mother did her hair while lecturing her again, but much earlier now. Before the sun was up, to make sure she was proper for when the Princes awoke. She was in a pastel yellow dress now that laced up the front. It was tight, but the fabric was thin and flowing, showing as much of her womanly shape as possible. She stood in the great hall with her mother as they waited for breakfast, her blue eyes; exhausted. They were now waiting for the Martell's so they could all dine together this fine morning.
Oberyn had expected someone to slip into his room in the night, but aside from the soft footfalls that he heard outside his door before he retired to sleep, he didn’t hear anything else. He woke peacefully and well rested when the sun was just barely starting to show tendrils of light. No matter where he was, he always managed to wake before dawn. Years of training. He ventured through the palace and found a courtyard where he could train. He spent an hour there until the sun was finally peeking over the horizon and then returned to his room to wash up and change.
He wore golden robes with yellow, red, and white embroidery, the signet of Dorne on the lapels and the back. Doran, his brother the first Prince, wore similar clothing though in purples and blues, and Oberyn took the challenge of wheeling his brother’s chair down to the dining room where people were gathered waiting for them. “Good morning to our gracious guests. I apologize, for neglecting you last night, but the trip was a very arduous one, and we thought it best to greet you all fresh faced.” Oberyn said with a soft forward bow before locating the spot meant for Doran and lining his chair up with the table before moving to the spot he was guided to.
"Mother, really?" Audra whispered as the two Dornish men entered the room, her eyes focused on the man in the chair and dreading every moment of her life that lead to this moment. This was the man she needed to bed? How cruel and unfair the gods were. She paid little attention to the man pushing the chair, though he is the one who spoke. Surely no one of great importance would have such a task. Tella grabbed Audra’s arm hard enough to make her wince and then slowly lead her over to the table.
"Take a seat, Audra. Don't keep our guests waiting." Tella said, sitting Audra down across from the younger man who had been pushing the wheelchair. Tella took her own seat across from the chair bound man. "It is a pleasure to have you both at our table. Things have been quite lonely here in Pink Lady since the war. I am so sorry for your losses that you've suffered. I lost my husband and both of my sons, so I feel your sorrow."
"My mother is correct, it's very nice to have company." Audra spoke, finally looking up from her plate. The man across from her was beautiful. Strong, well dressed, a kind face and beautiful dark hair and sun kissed skin. She wished her skin could look like that, but it only turned red with too much sun, and she ended up with more freckles when the stinging skin healed. Her eyes then traveled to the other man, who looked a few years older but had longer hair with streaks of gray. "My mother had hoped that having the company of strong men may make us feel less vulnerable in these trying times. It's a pleasure to meet you, Prince Oberyn."
Doran simply looked at her and chuckled softly to himself with a small shake of his head. "Someone must have gotten confused. I am Prince Doran." He said, lifting a hand to point over at Oberyn, "This is my brother, Oberyn."
"W-what." Audra smiled, trying to hide the confusion and panic on her face as she looked up at Oberyn with wide blue eyes.
Oberyn took his seat after the women took theirs, pulling his chair up to the table silently and settling down with one hand resting on the table casually. “It is good to visit our allies, even in times of peace. Dorne is a close friend to those of the Pink Lady, and are always glad to pay you a visit.” He murmured, nodding his head gently to the two women, though when the beautiful young girl sitting across from him called his brother by the wrong name, a devilish grin crossed his lips, and he let Doran handle the interaction.
“I do believe… that is the first time anyone has mistaken the two of us.” Oberyn mused, glancing over at his brother and chuckling softly before he turned his attention back to the girl across from him. “You are the youngest of the daughters, yes? Lady Audra, it is a pleasure to meet you.” He said gently, his smile gentle and disarming.
"We would love for you to stay as long as you see fit. We have our Summer festival in a fortnight and we would be honored if you would stay long enough to attend. It's quite the ball." Tella said with a smile before it quickly faded as Audra very spectacularly made a fool of herself. She only turned to look at her daughter to see how she would handle the situation. She didn't want to step in if she didn't have to.
"Yes, I am." Audra responded with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry. I wasn't told anything about which of you was which. I'm sure that if I hadn't missed introductions yesterday when you arrived, I wouldn't have made such a foolish error. Please, forgive me. It's a pleasure to meet you as well, prince Oberyn." She said before looking at Doran, "And you as well, Prince Doran. It's an honor to have you as our guests. If there is anything we can do for you." She said before looking at Oberyn again and speaking a little more slowly, more sultry, "anything at all… please, let us know."
Oberyn chuckled gently and raised one shoulder lightly as she apologized, “There is no need. We decided that greeting everyone with fresh faces was more important than getting names right. It was an honest mistake.” He assured her, taking a few items from the center of the table and putting them on his plate, doing the same for his brother who couldn’t quite reach the items he wanted. He took a slow drink of juice from his goblet and set it down to look at Audra quizzically at her sultry offer. It made him wonder if the steps outside his room had been hers last night.
“I will remember that. On our way through town I heard mention of market day, and I thought it might be interesting to venture down to the city to explore it.” He mused, “Perhaps you will accompany me, Lady Audra?” He asked, spearing a piece of sausage with his fork and taking a bite without taking his eyes off of her.
"I would love to show you around our palace and our town." Audra said, keeping the smile on her face. She was feeling more and more uncomfortable as his eyes never left her. It was like he was trying to look inside of her, into her head to see what she was up to. Surely he didn't have that sort of power. She managed to look away from him and grab her fork, starting to slowly eat some of the food on her plate. Though she didn't look at him, she could still feel his eyes on hers.
"I've heard rumors that your eldest, Magdalene, is with child in Clegane’s Keep. Do you know anything of this, Lady Tella?"
"Yes." Tella said with a small chuckle, "I received the raven last week sharing the good news, though I hadn't told anyone else yet. I'm surprised it took so long, really. They've been married almost a year. I had thought for sure she'd have been with child within the first month. Can't imagine he was the kind of man to wait for her comfort." She explained with a weary smile, "the letter was her handwriting, and I think she's excited. We are going to see her when you gentlemen head back to Dorne. Don't make that affect how long you'd like to stay. Children take nearly a year."
"Maggie is with child, and you didn't tell me?" Audra said, looking up from her plate and turning to look at her mother. She remembered what The Hound looked like and it sent a chill down her spine. Her sister had to bed that man, probably often. Oh, poor Maggie…
"I didn't want to tell you prematurely. Much can happen during a pregnancy." Tella said calmly, not looking at Audra. "I suppose now I'm only waiting on you and Ophelia to have children."
"You'll be waiting for a while, mother. I'm not married yet. There aren't even any suitors lined up for me. There are so few families left." She said without thinking about who their guests were, for just that moment. "I'm sure Ophelia won't be far behind. She seemed to like Gendry."
“That is wonderful news. It is nice to hear of children to be born, after all the violence that the world has gone through.” Oberyn mused as he lowered his fork back to his plate and instead focusing on his food from where he had been staring at the young woman across the table from him. He needed to get his mind off of her. Despite the last interaction, and the footsteps he had heard the night before, it was highly unlikely that she was the one he had been expecting.
A light chuckle left Oberyn when Audra protested, “Present company not included?” He asked teasingly, one of his dark eyebrows raised as he leaned back in his chair and took a long drink from his goblet again, having finished the food he had selected for himself. “My brother has two capable sons, and I am currently unencumbered. While I take no stock in rumors… I had heard some whispers that there was talk of a formal alliance with Dorne? Though my unreliable sources did not mention specifics.” He questioned playfully.
Tella opened her mouth to speak, to try and gently bat away his probing question, but Audra beat her to it.
" Formal alliance with Dorne?" Audra questioned with one eyebrow raised. "I can assure you that my mother and I did not consider our customs when it comes to dealing with the Dornish." She said with a small shrug of her shoulder. "You seem mildly offended, 'present company not included', since when has a Dornish noble married? Let alone married outside of Dorne?" She questioned with one eyebrow slightly arched. "No. We hadn't considered Dorne, but if you're looking to make an exception, based upon what you see." She added, looking herself up and down before looking back at him, "Surely we would be willing to listen to what you had to offer."
Audra could feel her heart beating as if it may crack her ribs, but her face was calm. That's what mattered. She couldn't see her mother's face, but Tella had never been more proud.
Oberyn grunted in amusement, “You wound me.” He joked lightly, enjoying the banter that she was engaging him with. She was amusing, and fiesty. It was a nice change. “I will have to take that into consideration.” He admitted and glanced at his brother, who was trying not to laugh into his breakfast. It was good to see his brother so amused with his younger brother's discomfort. “You have a very skilled negotiator for a daughter, Tella. You should be proud.” Oberyn praised her and set his glass down beside his empty plate.
“I like her.” Doran chuckled into his breakfast, “She’s not afraid of you. Most women are too intimidated by your beauty to retaliate.” Doran snorted and took a drink.
"I am proud of all of my girls. They've grown up to be brilliant young ladies, as well as beautiful." Tella said with a bright smile while she spoke to Doran.
Audra finished her meal quickly and looked to her mother, "I'm going to go prepare for the tour for prince Oberyn." She smiled, "may I be excused?"
"Of course you may. Take the horses, why don't you? It'll be easier on the feet."
"Of course. I'll saddle them myself." Audra smiled before standing. "I'll be in the stables whenever you are ready, Prince Oberyn." She smiled before walking out of the dining hall and outside to the stable to prepare for her day.
"I will be there shortly." Oberyn agreed with a slight bow of his head and excused himself from the table to return to his room. He changed into something more suitable for their adventures to the market, a more plain set of robes that would be easy to ride in. After running his fingers through his hair he headed down to the stables in hope of assisting with saddling his own horse.
Audra had finished saddling her horse and only begun on his when he appeared into the stables. "You really did follow quickly, and even changed." She laughed softly before turning back to the horse. He wasn't at all what she'd expected. After Maggie was married off to Sandor Clegane, she really didn't have high hopes of anyone good looking or even relatively young. This man could only be in his mid thirties or so, sure, a fair bit older than she, but not like the fifty-something lords that were married to girls her age before the war. "We could walk, if you'd rather. I'm sure you spent most of your journey here on horseback." She said before turning to face him, "unless… you'd rather start with our tour of the castle? I can show you some of my favorite rooms…" She said, attempting that slow and sultry tone with him again.
"You've already got them nearly ready. It would be a waste. Besides… Etherion needs the exercise. He gets antsy when left in the stables too long." He mused, patting the nose of his pitch black horse and walking around to adjust the saddle, deftly tightening a few straps and securing them firmly before he slid the bridle onto his head. "I'll take advantage of the tour of the castle once we get back." He assured her, glancing down at her with a faint smile. He almost appeared unaffected by her flirting. "Would you like a hand up?" He offered, nodding to her horse.
"I'd love a hand up." Audra said with a smile, trying not to be discouraged by his immunity to her seduction. She knew she wasn't the most seductive. She didn't have much in the way of practice, and from what she'd heard from her mother, Oberyn had nothing but practice. "City it is, and then later we will look at the rooms." She said before putting one foot in a stirrup on her beige and white horse, waiting for him to assist her before making another movement.
Despite his apparent indifference, Oberyn was not unaffected by her. She was beautiful, and her obvious attempts at flirting with him were endearing. He wanted to spend more time with her. He also wanted to hear her moan his name, but for now he would settle for this. Coming closer he came around behind her and settled his hands rather boldly on her hips. "Pardon me." He murmured in a deep rasp close to her ear and lifted with ease to help her up onto the horse. Once she was settled he adjusted her skirt behind her as if it was nothing and turned to his horse, easily pulling himself up and walking out of the stables to wait in the courtyard for her.
Audra gasped softly when she heard him beside her ear and got into her horse gracefully with his help, adjusting her dress and looking at him as he mounted his own horse. He was so strong and resilient. She couldn't help but stare at him and wonder what it would like to touch him. What his skin felt like. How hard his muscles were. She wanted to know all of these things. She followed him out of the stables and started to explain the sights and the buildings they passed through the afternoon. They went around the city and the market until the sun began to set over the horizon. Audra was well liked and well respected in her community. Everyone knew who she was and was pleased to see her, so pleased, that no one even questioned the presence of the Dornish Prince, only treated him kindly and offered him food and gifts, just as they did to her.
"Thank you for the company this afternoon, Prince Oberyn." Audra smiled as she got back into the stables and dismounted her horse with ease, wincing slightly. Riding for that long wasn't her strong suit. "It really was a pleasant day for it."
Oberyn thoroughly enjoyed himself. He hadn't expected to come back with a bag full of gifts, but as he dismounted he had both that and the purchases he had made that day strapped to the back of his horse. He instructed a stable boy to have it taken to his room, and gave the child a small shiny coin to do it. He turned to face her when she spoke, a smile crossing his face as he lead his horse into the stall and began to strip off the tack. "It was my pleasure. Thank you for the tour of your lovely city." He said gently. After a quick brush down and a nose pat to his horse he helped her do the same and began to walk back to the palace with her.
"You are quite looking quite pink, little flower." He mused, spotting something in the gardens on their way back to the palace. He stopped and crouched down to break a piece off of something that looked like a cactus. "Come here." He murmured, beckoning her to him.
"I unfortunately am quite pink. Hopefully it wasn't too bad. If I am lucky, itll have faded and been replaced by more freckles come the morning." Audra laughed gently, walking slowly with him back toward the castle. Her heart was already racing, knowing what she would need to do once they were inside. Did she want to do this before or after dinner? She didn't know. She didn't want to do it at all. Their time together had been short, but she liked him, and it felt dirty to use him for a child, the way her mother wanted her to. She eyed him curiously and came beside him, kneeling down carefully beside him. "You've found the Aloe Vera plant. They are lovely, aren't they? Mother hates them, which is why I grow them all the way out here. Father loved them. Said they were useful, though I don't know what he meant. I know very little about plants."
"Indeed. They are very useful." He explained, lowering himself onto one knee and breaking off a small piece of it. He peeled the outer skin away and rubbed his fingers along the center to gather the viscous gel from the inside. Satisfied he had enough he set the piece down on his thigh and reached over to cup her cheek with his free hand, "Hold still." He murmured softly. Cradling her chin, he began to apply the aloe to her face, gently covering the worst of the sunburn and then applying more to his fingers to rub into the rest of her sunburn. His fingers were gentle and feather light. "It is very effective on sunburns."
Audra watched him with intense curiosity as he opened the leaf and touched the sticky substance inside. She was so focused, she wasn't prepared for him to grab her chin. She gasped in surprise and looked at him, looking into those lovely brown eyes and wanting to kiss him. She understood now what her mother meant, about how this man affected women. She was blushing, but it couldn't be seen past the sunburn on her cheeks. "It feels cold." She remarked softly with a timid smile. "It already feels better."
"If you let it soak in and can resist the urge to rub it, it will get better by nightfall." He explained softly, very much aware of the effect he was having on her. The urge to kiss her was very intense, but he ignored it. Instead he finished applying the gel to her face and slowly stood, taking her hands in his and helping her to her feet. "Perhaps tomorrow I will take you up on your offer to show me the palace." He mused, his hands lingering a moment before he loosened his grip to let her pull away.
Audra smiled and thanked him quietly when he helped her to stand. She swallowed hard and said something, though it was hard. "Wait. You've missed a spot…" She said gently when he released. She didn't move her hands from his until she reached up to touch the sun kissed skin of her chest. Her cleavage that her dress didn't cover. "I think this area could use some attention too, don't you think? It would be such a shame I'd this is the part of me that was sensitive and burned after today, don't you agree?"
"It would be a damn same, wouldn't it?" Oberyn agreed, a soft chuckle leaving him as he broke off another small piece and squeezed it onto his fingers. He stepped closer to her, so close that her breasts almost brushed his chest, and gently began to rub the gel into the tender pink skin of her cleavage, his eyes never leaving hers. "I'm surprised… I didn't expect a young flower like you to be so bold." he teased her, lifting his head to glance around them a moment before his free hand slid between them and lightly grazed the underside of her breasts through her dress as he worked on the exposed sunburned area.
"Don't underestimate quiet flowers…" Audra said with a playful smile before looking away from him briefly as his hand touched her cleavage, the gel cool and soothing against her hot skin. This was the only time she'd been thankful for the pink skin, for it hid her blush. "I'm usually not so bold, but a lot of the remaining lords in this part of the country aren't worthy of it, either." She tried to explain. She didn't want to call them all far, lazy slobs, but that's really the truth of it. Old men with no fire left in them, who certainly didn't deserve someone like her. She gasped and looked back up at him when his other hand briefly brushed her breast before going onto her cleavage. "How scandalous…"
"Hardly scandalous." Oberyn mused playfully. He withdrew his hand from her cleavage and wiped his fingers on his pants. "But if anyone saw this…" he whispered playfully and curled a hand around her hip as he dipped his head and kissed her suddenly. He didn't hesitate, his movements slow and purposeful as he kissed her thoroughly and held her close to him with one hand, the other still hidden between their bodies where it slid up just enough to palm her breast and lightly tweak the hidden pebble of her nipple through the fabric.
"Oh really? The Dornish really do have different ideas of what is a sc-" Audra was cut short by his lips meeting her own. Her eyes went wide and she didn't know what to do with herself. Her impulse was to push him away and slap him, but that would be bad for the alliance. She could already hear her mother yelling at her. She placed her arms on his biceps and squeezed nervously before letting out a small cry of surprise as his hand touched her breast and applied pressure to her nipple, which grew instantly erect. No one had ever touched her like that before, let alone so boldly. She finally broke the kiss and used her grip on his arms to step back from him. "Please! Prince Oberyn, think of my reputation. Please at least wait until our evening tour of the castle where no one can see us."
Oberyn pulled back when she pushed at his arms, pulling his hands away from her and watching her flushed reaction with a smile. Even with her sunburn it was obvious now. "Maybe you didn't notice, but the garden is quite secluded." He purred with a light chuckle. "Perhaps I was too forward. You lingered outside my room last night… I thought you were prepared for this sort of thing." He murmured softly, and nodding towards the castle. "Let's return. I'm famished and I'm sure dinner is waiting."
"Not secluded enough. There are eyes everywhere." Audra managed to tease, regaining her composure after only a few short moments. She wanted to kiss him again. She hadn't even been able to enjoy it because she was so nervous. His mustache was soft and his lips were warm. The muscles of his arms were so hard. She wanted him to pick her up and pin her against the wall. "I didn't know if you were still awake and I hadn't wanted to bother you." She said, not denying that she'd been outside his door. "Perhaps tonight will work better. You'd be expecting me, and there wouldn't be eyes or ears trying to spread rumors through our city."
"I see." Oberyn murmured and watched her as they walked back towards the castle. "Come by tonight then. I'll be waiting for you once night falls." He purred playfully and caught her hand in his briefly to bring it up to his lips and press a kiss to her palm before letting go of her reluctantly and walking up the stairs to open the door for her.
"I'll be there as soon as mother is asleep." Audra assured him, unable to keep herself from smiling as he kissed her palm and released her. She walked inside and disappeared down a hall. She showed up for dinner, having cleaned herself up from their travels earlier in the day. Tella was still doing her best to attempt to charm and disarm Doran. Audra wasn't sure, but she assumed she was trying to distract him long enough for her to bed Oberyn. If that was the case, she wouldn't have to try for much longer.
@reylo-hope Here is the chapter I promised you. I’ll post another one soon, if you like this. (The smut comes soon)
A friend of mine and I, we write a lot of fanfiction together in RP style, and lately we have been on a Pedro Pascal kick. So, we wrote some... admittedly pretty smutty, Oberyn fiction, in an AU of GoT where he doesn’t die. Is anyone on here enough of an Oberyn fan that they might be interested in reading it? Thought I would ask before I bother posting.
I am so sick and tires of all the freaking porn bots following me. Like... shouldnt they have been eradicated when Tumblr purged all the NSFW visual art?
This is a summary of college only using two pictures; expensive as hell.
That’s my Sociology “book”. In fact what it is is a piece of paper with codes written on it to allow me to access an electronic version of a book. I was told by my professor that I could not buy any other paperback version, or use another code, so I was left with no option other than buying a piece of paper for over $200. Best part about all this is my professor wrote the books; there’s something hilariously sadistic about that. So I pretty much doled out $200 for a current edition of an online textbook that is no different than an older, paperback edition of the same book for $5; yeah, I checked. My mistake for listening to my professor.
When you are writing a story and refer to a character by a physical trait, occupation, age, or any other attribute, rather than that character’s name, you are bringing the reader’s attention to that particular attribute. That can be used quite effectively to help your reader to focus on key details with just a few words. However, if the fact that the character is “the blond,” “the magician,” “the older woman,” etc. is not relevant to that moment in the story, this will only distract the reader from the purpose of the scene.
If your only reason for referring to a character this way is to avoid using his or her name or a pronoun too much, don’t do it. You’re fixing a problem that actually isn’t one. Just go ahead and use the name or pronoun again. It’ll be good.
If the character you are referring to in such a way is THE VIEWPOINT CHARACTER, likewise, don’t do it. I.e. if you’re writing in third person but the narration is through their eyes, or what is also called “third person deep POV”. If the narration is filtered through the character’s perception, then a very external, impersonal description will be jarring. It’s the same, and just as bad, as writing “My bright blue eyes returned his gaze” in first person.
if the story is actually told through the eyes of one particular viewpoint character even though it’s in the third person, and in their voice, as is very often the case, then you shouldn’t refer to the characters in ways that character wouldn’t.
In other words, if the third-person narrator is Harry Potter, when Dumbledore appears, it says “Dumbledore appears”, not “Albus appears”. Bucky Barnes would think of Steve Rogers as “Steve”, where another character might think of him as “Cap”. Chekov might think of Kirk as “the captain”, but Bones thinks of him as “Jim”.
Now, there are real situations where you, I, or anybody might think of another person as “the other man”, “the taller man”, or “the doctor”: usually when you don’t know their names, like when there are two tap-dancers and a ballerina in a routine and one of the men lifts the ballerina and then she reaches out and grabs the other man’s hand; or when there was a group of people talking at the hospital and they all worked there, but the doctor was the one who told them what to do. These are all perfectly natural and normal. Similarly, sometimes I think of my GP as “the doctor” even though I know her name, or one of my coworkers as “the taller man” even though I know his. But I definitely never think of my long-term life partner as “the green-eyed woman” or one of my best friends as “the taller person” or anything like that. It’s not a sensible adjective for your brain to choose in that situation - it’s too impersonal for someone you’re so intimately acquainted with. Also, even if someone was having a one night stand or a drunken hookup with a stranger, they probably wouldn’t think of that person as “the other man”: you only think of ‘other’ when you’re distinguishing two things and you don’t have to go to any special effort to distinguish your partner from yourself to yourself.
This is something that I pretty consistently have to advise for those I beta edit for. (It doesn’t help that I relied on epithets a lot in the earlier sections of my main fic because I was getting into the swing of things.) I am reblogging this so fanfic writers can use this as a reference.
A good rule of thumb: a character’s familiarity with another character decreases the need for an epithet (and most times you really don’t need one at all).
blakekathryn
areudirty
andulkaphoto
turnnoffyourmind
baratheonpilled
amandla
gummygunk
