Promise Not to Break @summeralyssa - Tumblr Blog

jayce

magnusderp

big mood

caleforpresident

I can’t get over this

leplastiquedick

me screaming in another plane of existence

heda-heather

My wife and I were cooking dinner together and when we sat down to eat she said, “You know what I like about you?” and so I obviously asked her what and she was like “With you, every night feels like Friday,” and it was so fucking cute. Why is she so nice to me.

unclefather

ryangoslingsource

arandomthot

byrneing

my heart is guarded but like … very poorly. the kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an r rated movie.

ryeisenberg

2-shane-s

Date someone who will date you

methfall

Need me a freak like that

spudsexuall

My boyfriend talks in his sleep and because he’s bilingual, he says some hilarious/weird/sometimes creepy shit. I ask him every morning if he remembers saying this stuff and he has no idea about any of it.

Here are some of my favorites:

-”Babe, can you please turn down the brightness of your skin” -After stealing all of the blankets: “This is my right as a human” -After I take the blankets back: “I don’t want your freedom, America. Just blanket” -Sometimes he just says “Hello?” as if he’s answering a phone call -One night he just said “Cabbage” which is weird because he doesn’t know the english word for that when he’s awake. -After spooning me: “You have a nice butt” -”Who is that in the corner?” (terrifying) -”Watch out for the red lady” (even more terrifying) -Sometimes he will say things in German and it sounds like he’s speaking Parseltongue -One time I actually think he said something in Parseltongue -One time he talked about buying a ticket to “everywhere” and then just said “hello?” after two minutes of silence -And my all time favorite: ”This is MY yogurt, Satan”

Front Bottoms Songs for the Signs

Aries: Lone Star// "She looks me dead in the eyes and says 'hey Brian if you still believe in the Lord above,

get on your hands and knees and pray for us"

Taurus: Santa Monica// "Where I'm standing there is a cool, cool breeze. Heavenly bodies make the devil a little uncomfortable."

Gemini: Father// "And I am leaving as soon as I come.

As soon as I come you will probably forget my name.

I hope I fall asleep at the wheel and crash my car."

Cancer: Flashlight// "You are still here, you are still happy, you are still smiling and laughing, you are still the only thing and everything I need in my life."

Leo: Cough It Out// "All the branches on the tree, that we carved our initials in seem to bend and take the shape of them."

Virgo: The Beers// "And I will remember that summer, as the summer I was taking steroids, because you like a man with muscles, and I like you."

Libra: Funny You Should Ask// "But you were young, you thought you didn't have to care about anyone, but you're older now and wish that you could."

Scorpio: Swimming Pool// "There's no doubt in my mind that if you could then you would try to crack my ribcage open and pull my heart right through."

Sagittarius: West Virginia// "I thought I had it figured out, how to organize my words good before they fall right out my mouth."

Capricorn: Awkward Conversations// "I personally think it's too cold to have the window open, but you want to smoke your menthol cigarettes."

Aquarius: Maps// "And what about your friends. Don't you love them enough to stay? And I say if I don't leave now then I will never get away."

Pisces: 12 Feet Deep// "Maybe college won't work out, I can come live at your house. I'm supposed to be at class now but my roommate just passed out."