unintentionally sarcastic

I'm Kaija. Rhymes with papaya. I don't know what I'm doing tbh, and things move fast. and that's weird. :3

[kissyoulikealover]

pasta is so comforting. pasta is my best friend. pasta my beloved. pasta is my boyfriend pasta is a god pasta is the breeze in my hair in the weekend pasta is a relaxing thought!!!

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

I've always thought it's too bad that disco is the only kind of dance that comes with an artifact. It's compelling that disco has a Ball. I want to know what secrets will be revealed if I gaze into it. There should be a hip-hop Cube. A ballroom Amulet. A swing Diadem.

[fiollaigean]

"the magnus archives sounds cool! what are the content warnings?"

[fiollaigean]

kidnapping stalking insanity sleepwalking cannibalism and teeth, gaslighting gun violence pipe murder and silence and medical trauma and meat. bugs in your body and poisoned black coffee and self-mutilation and lies, police brutality breaks from reality suicide spiders and eyes. paaaaaranoia degloving the uncanny valley and running like prey to survive, agonies torture and drowning and falling and then being buried alive.

[randomslasher]

I cannot tell you how delighted I am by the fact that this perfectly scans

[fiollaigean]

this post is getting notes again unfortunately so it seems a good time to remind everyone that someone did!

not only is it masterfully performed but they added many more verses (and improved some of mine!) which are simply amazing. go watch it.

[charlesoberonn]

This content warning needs its own content warning.

[sticksandsharks]

Family of Cyprinidae, Water-Type native to Kanto.

[creekfiend]

you ever meet someone and it's just like oh wow this person needs a visit from the divorce fairy

[penrosesun]

I've seen an increasing number of posts talking about carrying documentation with you at all times, which I think is an understandable instinct, in light of everything. That said, there's something that's often being left out of these conversations, and it's vitally important that people know about it, so this is a PSA:

DO NOT carry your Social Security card literally anywhere, except to specific appointments where you actually need it.

I mean it. Carry a driver's license or state ID. Carry an expired passport (which is sufficient to prove citizenship in most cases). Carry an active passport. You can even carry a birth certificate on your person if you have a certified copy and feel like you absolutely need it – but your Social Security card belongs in a safety deposit box. I am being so serious right now. I am grabbing you by the shoulders and looking intently into your soul and begging you to store your Social Security card somewhere safe.

This is not even about the risk of identity theft, to be clear. This is because the Intelligence Reform and Terrorism Prevention Act (IRTPA) of 2004 limits the number of replacement Social Security cards to three per year and ten in a lifetime, beginning with cards issued on or after December 17, 2005.

Yes, ten (10!!!) cards is an extremely small number of replacement cards for a person's entire life – especially considering that there is no minimum age for a child to get a Social Security card, and so if you have forgetful or irresponsible parents, it's possible that you've already gone through some of those ten because they lost it and requested a replacement cards before you were a legal adult. Yes, that is a hard limit – it isn't one of those "the first x are cheaper and then they get way more expensive and annoying to replace" situations. Your application for a replacement Social Security card will actually be outright rejected if you have replaced it ten times before. And yes, it's stupid as hell. This is one of the many, many horrible laws that were passed after 9/11 when no one was paying attention, because for a hot minute there people would vote for the Kick Puppies For No Reason Act, just so long as it had "Terrorism Prevention" in its name.

Your life will be very, very fucked if you ever need an 11th Social Security card. Technically, there is a hardship exception, but it requires a letter from a third party, such as a state public assistance agency or an employer, and it takes time to process, and it's not at all guaranteed. In many situations where you might need or want a social security card, you will simply be shit out of luck. Just last year, one of my relatives witnessed a woman reduced to tears in the local Social Security office, because she had exceeded the limit and could not get another one and was going to lose a job opportunity because of it – and the administrator she was talking to had to sadly tell her that there was simply nothing that he could legally do to help. You do not want to be in that situation, believe me.

Do not carry your Social Security card around with you.

I'll say it again:

Do not carry your Social Security card around with you.

I am literally begging you, please keep this particular document safe somewhere that it is impossible for you to lose it.

[fanonical]

minecraft needs more birds. there are like two birds in the whole of minecraft and i find that unacceptable. where are the fucking ducks

[kiramartinauthor]

WHY YOU SHOULD WRITE HORRIBLY:

1. You’ll never write anything if you don’t

[gjdraws]

[okaywallflour]

[beardedmrbean]

[theman]

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

[tattooedzombigirl]

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

[jayalaw]

I need good news. So tired

[rockabillywife]

I heard this for the first time at 5 and I knew life was gonna be crazyyyyy 🔥🔥🔥

[cheaphalloweencostume]

not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl… what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

[altospaceangel]

If ANYTHING is a heritage post it’s this.

[charlesoberonn]

What do you mean it’s only from 2020???

[radioactivemongoose]

at my 16th birthday party my friend john accidentally flashed one of his balls and i remember it in vivid color & detail like sometimes i forget the faces of loved ones but that single nut haunts me. one time i fell in a ditch and i kept sabotaging myself like “what if the last thing i think of before i die is john’s nut” like i wasn’t actually gonna die but these are the kinds of things you consider when you fall in a ditch. john’s nut

[ghibli-jpg]

Found these on the way home

[altafpatel]

How to spot signs and symptoms of Breast Cancer 

[claireslash]

Reblog to literally save a life

[maximasmac]

whish they told us this in school, all they did was say “feel for lumps, you will know when you feel it”

[bokettochild]

This is important, even if it doesn’t work with your blog theme REBLOG IT!!!!

Women need to know this, not all of us have ever been told what we need to look out for!

[incubus-absolution]

yeah reblogging especially for my transmasc fellows who (like me) might be real uncomfortable with their chests and not know what to watch out for because we try to avoid this kind of thing (just me? okay)

[gwydionmisha]

Cis Men need to know it too.  They can get breast cancer even though the odds are lower.

Everyone needs to know Breast cancer symptoms

[b-atiful]

Literally where would be as a society without the soup store video

[b-atiful]

ive never met anyone under 25 who hasnt seen it.

It's literally an impossibly good video. The fucking performance and sheer ANGER and building frustration from both party's, the absurdity, the slow ramping ridiculousness, the way the diologue flows off itself at a breakneck speed, the phrase "I'm at soup" the pure fucking rage off both parties, the sheer almost unbelievable idiocy from the guy who's 'at soup,' the way it ends so ubruptly without losing any momentum. Its insane. I've watched it 150 times in like 2 years its never not funny.

[duskittycat]

here’s the video since op didn’t link it

[entangledfandoms]

Fun fact: this was written, edited, and voice acted by one guy.

Fun fact #2: this whole sketch was apparently based on an overheard conversation where someone was trying to buy chicken at The Gap.

Fun fact #3: there is actually a clothing store called Soup.

[thefloatingstone]

The embed video is now dead so here is a link to the video on youtube.

History must be preserved lest society crumble

[ghirahimbo]

starting a compilation of my favorite "no thank you" buttons from when they want you to subscribe so bad

[kelp-kelp]

More from the notes:

[aiyexayen]

adding to the collection

[creepycreepyspacewizard]

If you’ve ever wondered how reposting hurts artists- yesterday I found a post from 2012ish featuring one of my Sherlock/Doctor Who pieces. That post had 17,604 notes. It wasn’t my post. My post of that art had 0 notes.

Apparently I saw the post once when it was at 6k because an artist I admired reblogged it, but at that stage I was very unwell & not experienced enough with Tumblr to realise what effect it might have.

Looking through the notes now I see that in the six years since then-

Several people got the design as a tattoo.

A number liked it enough to want custom designs but didn’t know how to contact me so that’s approximately £300 I didn’t get a chance to earn.

Someone used that art in the front cover of a comic by accident and while the company fixed it after I contacted them that’s exposure that it’s far too late to capitalise on now.

If you like an artwork that you find off tumblr, please, please I am begging you search for the artist’s name and see if they do actually have a Tumblr you could reblogged from instead. If you’re an artist search your username(s) every so often to see if your work has been taken.

A few hundred quid might not seem like a lot, but that’s a few months of income for me

[floweramon]

Reminder to those new to tumblr that there is a difference between reposting and reblogging.

Reposting is where you save the image, make your own post, and share to others. Heavily frowned upon unless you 1. get permission from the artist and 2. still give proper credit to the artist. If the artist is off-tumbr and you want to share, again, GET PERMISSION FIRST! If they say no, oh well.

Reblogging is just using the reblog button (the button with the arrows) to share posts you see. In this case reblogging is actively encouraged because it can help spread the art of people you love while the artist still gets notes, views, and proper credit.