two bitchy ravens in a leather jacket

{{bi/genderfluid/transmasc/demiboy/aego/musicaconic}} 《he/they/fae/nix/fern/ey/fur/ze/sun/dey》 ((Mutuals can call me by one of my kintypes if they want)) *Casey Hartley (nitw) kin* ×dark angel/canine/eurasian black wolf kin× ~Melophile/voidpunk~ SummerEXE on wattpad "the supreme paradox of all thought is the attempt to discover something that thought cannot think" Søren Kierkegaard.

[summerofthephoenix]

Master post!!!

Considering I now have three side-blogs along side my main one, I figured it was time to explain some of the details

@summerofthephoenix *main*

This is basically a brain dump of anything and everything all of the time

@wolfesstims *second oldest*

Not a whole lot to say about this one, it's just stim boards and asmr things that my autistic brain finds pleasing

@thatonehartleykid *third oldest*

!!warning!! This is a vent blog, so enter at your own risk. Mostly filled with music, rants, pages from my journal and things that relate to my Casey Hartley (night in the woods) kintype

@inkdippedangelwings *newest*

This is snippets of one shots, WIPs from my wattpad and anything to do with writing ✍️ (also themed off my dark angel kintype)

Note: my name and pronouns preference for each blog is different, read my bios or ask what I want to be called

[importantcatpics]

[autiebiographical]

This Pride, let's remember our roots. Pride started as a riot against discrimination, oppression, and police brutality. Our rights are being taken away, and the only way we'll get them back is to stand up for ourselves.

Pride isn't just to celebrate, it's to protest.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I was tidying up a room, and right in the middle of it I saw a massive grandfather clock. At some point I noticed it had the AO3 symbol on it, so obviously I decided to take a picture and post it on Tumblr.

Except I accidentally captioned it, “guys check this out, I’ve got the one and only AO3 grandfather cock.”

I realized immediately, but by the time I reblogged it with “CLOCK” in all caps, it was too late. It had already done numbers on this hellsite.

[lakeside-paradise]

#mygrandfathercock

[dreamweirder]

[thestonewallinn]

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

So um question how do you not get dysphoric if you masturbate um sorry if this is random or stupid or wasting your time or smth-

Hey, no need to badmouth yourself here, your question is certainly not stupid or a waste of time! It’s a common struggle for trans people and it’s brave of you to openly talk about it. 

Dysphoria and masturbation is definitely a „different solutions work for different people“ situation. It can take some trial and error until you find what works best for you specifically. So, take this more as a menu than a prescription (you can try out what feels right and ignore the rest): 

Masturbation isn’t all about body parts (at least not for everyone), for many people it’s also about mental imagery. You may learn you can use that to lessen dysphoria! Try using affirming language, fantasies and/or media. That may sound frustratingly vague but that’s because it can be a lot of different things! It can simply be that you, in your head, use the word for the genitalia you wish you had rather the ones you have while touching yourself, or it can be that you read or watch porn that aligns with your identity, it can be more elaborate „roleplay“, it can mean trying out other techniques (like humping a pillow instead of touching yourself) etc. 

You may also find it helps to do the exact opposite: some people prefer to not focus on any mental imagery and just focus on the sensation. You can try framing it as a massage (or similar) if masturbation is too loaded with gendered expectations for you. 

Some people prefer using toys rather than hands as it can create some mental distance. 

You can also try changing the setting: do it under a blanket, turn off the lights etc. 

While we usually connect masturbation with touching your genitalia, you don’t have to do that. You can also try touching other body parts instead. You may think of anal stuff now, and obviously that is something people do and enjoy but that’s not all I refer to here! Some people enjoy just touching their inner thighs rather than directly on their genitalia etc. Anything that feels good for you is okay! It doesn’t need to be „sexual enough“ to count or anything. 

Mental imagery doesn’t always need to involve yourself. Some people prefer imagining characters (from existing media or even their original characters they make up for this purpose!) while masturbating. This can also provide some distraction or distance. 

[marionto]

Enjoy your sexualities, everyone!

[summerofthephoenix]

Indeed, as a masc leaning person on the ace spectrum... somewhere, I imagine characters that I like enjoying theirs

[v1ncenthallberg]

@therealjacksepticeye mention!

[therealjacksepticeye]

He doesnt know what I want

[loveridden1999]

this is yearly trend for me to ask this here, so which one's the best summer fruit?

watermelon

mango

Voting ended onJun 2

[summerofthephoenix]

I love both, but I picked watermelon for the memory of going to this older guy's produce stand with my grandma as a kid and he always gave me a seedless watermelon 😊

[cherrypikkins]

Time to clean the blorbo! Pick an action

gently run a lintroller over them

steam clean

handwash only

machine wash hot, longest cycle

use a power washer

sandblast them

let them stay filthy

other

Voting ended onJun 3

plz reblog for sampo size

[remembertheplunge]

Bliss cartoon given to me by my late gay partner Jim. He loved clipping cartoons he thought I’d like out of the paper and giving them to me. This one just made me laugh again when I accidentally came upon it tucked in one of my books.

[importantpics]

[angstyastro]

These miis getting diagnosed today

[urautismdiagnosis-wistie]

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

Just because your parents resigned to a life of unhappiness doesn’t mean you need to do the same. 

This may sound a little bit harsh and of course it does not apply to every single parent out there - but I believe that openly saying this can be really important for those who do have parents like that. 

The type of parent who casually says stuff like

„I don’t get why this whole lesbian thing even matters so much, it’s not like I am attracted to your father either. We can not stand each other but we make it work!“ 

„You kids break up so quickly today, he only slapped you once. I took beatings and now I have three kids with that man. Our generation still understood the concept of forgiveness.“ 

„It just feels so extreme to change your name just so you can feel happier. What does that even mean? Do you think I am happy with my life? I am miserable every day, that’s just what adulthood is like“. 

„I don’t even know how you come up with all these thoughts about your own  identity. I don’t have that much free time on my hands. I wanted to be a music teacher but then I got pregnant and my parents pulled me out of school, and I haven’t had the luxury to think about my own dreams ever since. And what a blessing that is, because if I thought about it too long, I’d just cry!“ 

These are very specific examples obviously, to drive the point home, but you see the common pattern: this type of parent is unfulfilled or even resentful of how their life turned out - but somehow they think it’s a virtue. 

it can be a tricky place as a kid: you may feel deeply sorry for them and at the same time also be annoyed, hurt or angry. These pieces of lore about your parents life can be heartbreaking to think about - the realization that your parent isn’t just your parent but a whole person with their own story hits hard anyway, but that hit can be especially painful when you realize you kind of pity that person. 

But then again, while the lore is pitiful, their conclusion can also be really upsetting. And so you may be torn between „I am sorry you’re stuck in a loveless marriage and never got to get the education and career you wanted“ and „You think you are wise, I think you need therapy“. 

However, this letter isn’t so much about their life or happiness, it’s about yours - and I just want you to know that you deserve happiness and fulfillment and love, even if your parent has given up on it. You are allowed to chase happiness. You are allowed to work towards your dreams. You are allowed to try your best to live a life aligned to you, not to what society expects of you. You are allowed to prioritize yourself. 

You are allowed to break the cycle, even if your parent couldn’t. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[importantpics]

[important-animal-images]

[summerofthephoenix]

Nom

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

Here is a hug for the ones who are not "strong & independent".

We place so much importance on independence. This goes for society as a whole - many of us get taught pretty early to think of dependence as weakness. We are taught that people who need help are lazy, that they will get used to it and greedily demand more, that you can only be proud of something if you did it without any help, even that it's better to struggle on your own than to thrive with help.

We judge the person who uses the external resources they need (think about financial support, antidepressants, extra time to finish assignments, therapy, walking sticks, hiring a babysitter or even just crying on someone's shoulder for a while) and we praise the person who refuses to use them. We think of the refusal as a "strong" or "brave" decision - even if the first person is healthier and happier because they accepted help and the second one is struggling to survive without it.

It happens within our community, too. There is that pressure to prove that lgbt+ people don't need anything or anyone - "We do not ask for special rights, just our human rights" turns into "Do never ask for anything at all, ever, or else you are one of those whiny gays everyone hates". We pride ourselves on being hyperindependent and not needing "handouts" from straight/cis people.

Of course nobody - lgbt+ or not - is truly independent. We are human beings, we all need each other. Even if you make your own money and pay for your own food, someone else sells it to you. Someone else cleans the supermarket you buy it from. Someone else delievered it to the supermarket. And so on, and so on. Complete independence is a myth.

Even the most "independent" people still rely on other people in some ways - and some people rely on others in many ways. Some rely on others in ways the majority of people does not. Neither group is inherently bad or good, they are all just human beings with their own unique needs. It's normal to have needs. We, as a society, vilified something that literally everyone has and something we literally need to survive.

So, for all those of us who rely on others a lot or in less common ways (I am part of that group myself!), here is just a reminder that all of that negative stuff we are taught about dependence is a big dose of BS. Depending on others does not make you lazy or bad or greedy - it just makes you a human being.

You can be proud of yourself and everything you do, even if you need help to do it. Actually, scratch that, it's especially if you need help to do it. Recognizing that you struggle and need help and actually asking for help, accepting help - that's not weakness, that's strength.

Screw "independence" as the ultimate goal in life. Your happiness, your health, your life are much more important than this made-up independence stuff.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

[importantpics]