Hello! I'm @summers-art, your local tumblrina 🩷 I've been a fan of Sonic since the adventure games on Gamecube. I may be studying at university right now but that won't stop me from joining and organizing Sonic projects online!! It's something I love doing, seeing everyone be so creative and having fun 🩷 I'm excited to put these funny colorful creatures in neat looking outfits 🩷🩷
^ me every time I come home from work or is done with a zoom lecture for uni. It's fun though, I love that to get my teachers are talking about Marx class discourse and Butlers gender performativity and intersectionality rn
But also it is taking up all my braincells unfortunately to do much of anything else. Buuut things should be getting wrapped up in June!! Unrestrained summer fun with my drawings of the blorbos again, trust 🙏
How do you feel about the suspiciously ring shaped indent on the Tenna figurine? I was in the they were never married before crowd but now I'm actively being proved wrong
I am determined to finish my own fic of big shot era spamtenna in the cungadero but it is very stupid and awkward and the car sex kinda sucks actually. They're so dumb, what's wrong with these freaks I need them to get into an accident and explode
Man................ one of my fav artists I also follow on patreon said that his blog got terminated and now I keep sweating over if this blog will get nuked randomly one day. I mean, art is easy to repost elsewhere but I feel the need to back up all the writing and lore I've put on here... JUST IN CASE
I know a lot of people have bluesky as their mirrors and stuff but uuuughhhh I HATE THE TWITTER LOOK, it is so unfriendly to my need to yapp and write walls of text. If anything I've been thinking of post crossing to ao3, art and writing. But idk if meta posting is something that ao3 is supposed to be used for?? Like idk, is that allowed /gen
They got their blog back and all hope is not lost anymore YAAAY 🎉
I did panic archive all my posts for the AU though and also begun doing a better archiving slowly onto ellipsus. It was actually kinda fun to go back and the put stuff in a more chronological order of the story and made me realize that damn this is a pretty fully realized story, even tho it's still evolving with new ideas and prompts. There isn't really that much to retcon or inconsistencies, awesome
I ALSO GOT MY WRITING MUSE BACK, putting my fic wips on ellipsus got me rereading them and being like wtf, this is nearly finished and really good what the hell why am I sitting on this and not sharing. It was like in September I said "It's nearly finished!!" but this time I actually feel like I have the motivation to finish writing. I remembered that writing can be fun and I'm having fun doing it okay ❤️ yay ❤️
Man................ one of my fav artists I also follow on patreon said that his blog got terminated and now I keep sweating over if this blog will get nuked randomly one day. I mean, art is easy to repost elsewhere but I feel the need to back up all the writing and lore I've put on here... JUST IN CASE
I know a lot of people have bluesky as their mirrors and stuff but uuuughhhh I HATE THE TWITTER LOOK, it is so unfriendly to my need to yapp and write walls of text. If anything I've been thinking of post crossing to ao3, art and writing. But idk if meta posting is something that ao3 is supposed to be used for?? Like idk, is that allowed /gen
Man................ one of my fav artists I also follow on patreon said that his blog got terminated and now I keep sweating over if this blog will get nuked randomly one day. I mean, art is easy to repost elsewhere but I feel the need to back up all the writing and lore I've put on here... JUST IN CASE
I know a lot of people have bluesky as their mirrors and stuff but uuuughhhh I HATE THE TWITTER LOOK, it is so unfriendly to my need to yapp and write walls of text. If anything I've been thinking of post crossing to ao3, art and writing. But idk if meta posting is something that ao3 is supposed to be used for?? Like idk, is that allowed /gen
That funky puppet body is not what it used to be but dw about it Spamton! Your loyal dog of a husband will appreciate it, get loved, idiot! Finally, the whole yaoi comic is done and under cut 👇
My dog!!! Yea he can talk, his mouth can do many great things actually. Trust me
Y'KNO, considering they can drink battery acid I think eating sharpies are probably fine. Harmless! Don't do this at home tho
This one is already 10 (technically 11) pages I had to cut it somewhere or else it go on forever- I suppose it ends like either the first or second dog comics I already made... or make up a secret third thing! That is also allowed and cool to do.
God sent me an Email one day
Attached was the most beautiful Angel I'd ever seen
I wanted to Read him
I wanted to Save him
Stashed away in my Folders for later
I really thought that
I could've saved him
To the other anon that don't want a public reply, I just wanna say thank you for the sweet words!! Made me really happy to read ❤️ dw about me, I am doing great. Joining KAJ fandom last year was like the best decision ever, it's nice to have a fandom that does stuff in my own country for once, so I can leave my computer and go meet new friends and do fun fandom things in person. I'm very lucky to have the opportunity for that!!
The world can be so so scary, especially right now with the (gestures) everything, so I do love having fandom to spark some joy in life. It can be escapism, but also a nice tool to communicate things that can be too scary to talk about if you have to center yourself in the conversation, it can be easier when it's the blorbos being used as a conduit instead.
In conclusion: world scary, but we can be brave about it together. Take my hand and find joy despite it all
"Telling Tenna the things he wants to hear/believe by hooking him up with people that know how to install upgrades in his body with the intention of making it possible for him to get pregnant. Then crushing his dreams by having it just straight up not working anyway."
Oooo! This could play into Tenna's other insecurity if he is straight up too old of a model for the update! (am I too sadistic?)
[Referenced Post] TOO sadistic?? No such a thing as that here, torturing the favorite character is just par for the course. Now play A Human's Touch (this is on my Spamtenna playlist)
This all 100% plays into the insecurities about being an older model. You understood the assignment perfectly anon, gold star to you⭐
Considering that having a disability/multiple disabilities is like, something you can be born with but also something that can seemingly randomly happen, you will most likely develop it down the road eventually by just the process of aging. I've mentioned before being around a lot of old people, my grandma has basically done twice the work of raising me, and just last week I sat at the teachers lunch table and listened to the 70-year old women talking about her muscle inflammation that paralyzed part of her face and the others hip replacement. That stuff is just going to happen, it's normal. But having a beauty industry selling us the idea of being thin, light skinned and having super healthy bodies is the best way to live life makes those changes seem devastating, world ending even!! But it shouldn't be. Not in my mind at least, because it's normal. Sucks to deal with surely, but it doesn't make you like uniquely fucked up or a failure, you know?
Part of me is like, man why didn't I design my AU Tenna with the cracked screen or bandaged/permanently bent antenna? Too late now. But in hindsight I think it plays well into his need to put on a perfect looking front, getting those cosmetic changes to hide the cracks. Jokes on him though, that won't make the arthritis magically disappear.
I think it'd be an interesting way for Tenna to explore his free will (with all the pregnancy kink stuff) if he maybe could have a child with someone else (maybe with another robot or something) who is also open to playing picture perfect family with him. Would he choose Spamton and the life they built for themselves or the life he always imagined himself having?
Also the angst potential from Spamton's pov. Like will he run if Tenna even thinks about it a second too long? (What about their children?)
I really opened the floodgates on the blog when talking about pregnancy for the AU and this ask is gave me so much to think about I had to let it simmer for days. THERE IS JUST SO MUCH, like in the story yes but also the meta parts of it, like as a woman with a uterus and having family and friends around getting pregnant I've just been thinking more about it. What the deal is with pregnancy, what about is appealing or not, all the real world complications+implications and what is brought in or ignored when written into fiction.
It's funny mentioning "Playing the perfect family" because like, the first thing I pictured without thinking too deeply about pregnancy kinks is absolutely some cottage core, picture-perfect-family-life fantasy about being a pregnant housewife, white picket fence style. But like, me personally, would find literally 0 comfort in a fantasy like that. It just spirals into some psychological horror shit for me instead, oops.
Relating it back to the AU Spamtenna: Tenna is definitely deep in that fantasy. He is also fixated on the past, wishing to recreate it and comparing it to his present situation that he doesn't like. He believes that he can mold his future to give him the same satisfaction his very selective memories of the past gave him. Meanwhile Spamton is trying to ignore his past, refusing to tell the truth about it, focusing on the present to make things work while also constantly fearing for the future. His past experience has informed him that life tends to find a way to punish him for seeking his own self-determined happiness.
I've joked about this AU being a fix-it fic disguised as toxic doomed yaoi but it might as well also be toxic doomed yaoi disguised as a fix-it au... IT'S BOTH. Some Schrödingers yaoi where it's both doomed and fixed at the same time, you won't know which it is unless you open the box.
You can open the box under the read more as this is literally just the preamble and the actual answer to the ask is discussed below 👇
So the idea of Tenna to explore his free will and self discovery by finding someone else that could give him that family he always wanted that wasn't Spamton since he can't get him pregnant is a really good question BUT IT MAKES ME SO SAAAD. I've been thinking about it for a long time because of all the other stuff I said but also it just, made me upset to think about, my doomed Spamtennas... like yea OK they get divorced all the time so it's not out of nowhere that Tenna could find a new partner during the separation, but it truly had never crossed my mind to ever do that for the AU, it wasn't ever on the table of ideas for me. I mean... it be interesting though!!!
HOWEVER ☝️ there is one fundamental flaw to this thought experiment, and that is that I can't ever see myself giving him the possibility to actually get pregnant. Because I hate him it would be very counterproductive to an important part of Tenna's arc for me in the AU, which is to wake up from your lalala land escapist fantasy and face the music. No, you can't live in a TV Show where there is a happy ending and the credit rolls, you gotta wake up... WAKE UP!!!
Speaking of, I am back on my Bojack Horseman bullshit as that is another big inspiration source for the AU for me. Tenna and Bojack has similarities in that sense of being washed up celebrities that watch reruns of their own shows, having some major narcissistic tendencies while also being like 3 bad days away from killing themselves. Having recently watched an essay/analysis on Bojack Horseman and depression the lines from Bojack haunts me (timestamp: 28:20) "No one's gonna be there when I kill myself? Listen to that chanting, Diane. The chanting don't lie! There is going to be PLENTY of people around when I kill myself!" as I'm just like, HELLO??? SIR???? DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF- oh my god. No, yea, he lives and dies for the audience, clearly.
For the pregnancy stuff though I am definitely more looking at Princess Carolyn from Bojack Horseman for inspiration. As she had her own struggles with getting pregnant/having miscarriages while relentlessly pursuing her goal of becoming a mother with or without a man in her life. I think it all started with a dream of having that rich guys baby and how it could give her and her mother a new, perfect life, which was lost with the first of many miscarriages she had. I think she both believed that the baby was her ticket out, but also had a wish to give that baby a better life/mother than the one she was stuck with. She even said that when she was feeling her worst she pictured her future child telling others about her in stories and how it would all turn out fine in the end. Like damn, that dream was her lifeline basically. It is what kept her going, and in the end she DID have a child, via surrogacy/adoption.
So with that in mind, I would now have another use of Ms. Information as an instigator here. Telling Tenna the things he wants to hear/believe by hooking him up with people that know how to install upgrades in his body with the intention of making it possible for him to get pregnant. Then crushing his dreams by having it just straight up not working anyway. Welcome Loss.jpg into the AU, I fucking guess. I am still struggling to picture him with other partners, because it would just make me sad to not just think about Tenna's disappointment but theirs too. But it also fucks me up to think about him doing this alone. Maybe he tried with different partners and then just tried it on his own when it kept failing to not disappoint more people. It's... depressing to think about... And it fucks me up because Spamtons puppet dysphoria is right there, this is the guy that would understand what it's like to have a body that doesn't do and function in the way you want it to 100% - YOU HAVE EACH OTHER!!! COME OOON
Actually let's check in on how Spamton would feel about all of this. If they had another divorce so Tenna could have a chance of starting his New Perfect Family I think he'd be """fine""" with it. Well, pissed about it, but in a OK I see I'm not good enough for you well fuck you like you even deserve to have me then, goodbye type of way. He wouldn't stop him, his life is just not meant to have good things last after all. Tenna takes the Pipis in the divorce. Ralsei is his own person he can do whatever. And he can pretend he is unbothered by it: "I don't care" I say caringly, while caring deeply. I think there is also a nagging voice at the back of his head every time he saw Tenna and wondering if it would work this time. A voice that reminds Spamton about his first hand experience of what sort of punishment awaits if you get too close knocking on heavens door when reaching for your dreams. And he'd be worried, and not sure what to do with those feelings because WHY should I CARE? Well, because that's your husband, idiot, go get him. He needs you right now.
To make everything less depressing, the husband's would get back together (again). Tenna and Spamton not being 100% compatible with each other is something I love about the relationship. Being forced to have to come to terms and accept those parts they can't change because of their nature as Darkners. To sit with that, grieve that, then choose to love each other even if it's not perfect. Like, sorry Darkners you can't have everything you want but you can cope with the absurdity of your existence as Darkners by leaning on each other. I think it could be read as both a queer/trans experience but also a disability one, hell, why not both.
The reason I keep rejecting the idea of writing fiction that depicts a perfect life to live is because the normative life of how bodies are expected to function and families are expected to be formed is NOT a comfort or power fantasy to me, it is a god damn prison. NOT TO MENTION, the aroace-ness in me that looks in horror of the idea of friends and family members entering their era of starting a family with their two kids, a dog and mortgage and just... leaving everyone else behind to pursue that and nothing else. Hell, hell on earth! I want out!! LET ME OUT!!! GET ME OUT OF HEREEEE
MAN IDK, I think it's more comforting to write about coping with the horrors than pretending they're not there or can be magically wished away. Without going into details I can say that I've already been through a life changing, irreversible event that makes the future I dreamed of/saw for myself literally impossible to have. That door is closed forever! And I've grieved the life I can't have!! A lot!!! And I still am and probably always will. But I know I'm not alone in those struggles. We all have something to deal with, and other people around us can either make it worse or make it better. It's about finding the tools and the right people to make the grief more bearable, though not completely go away.
IN CONCLUSION: No, none of them can have babies. They can't have kids in the traditional sense, but that shouldn't stop them from forming a family. Ralsei sign the adoption papers right NOW. Maybe one day I'd allow the pipis to hatch, but considering everything I've talked about I don't think I will. I have read the pipis as a glitch since I recall Noelle encountering one first made by Spamton in her game as a glitch. Turning the pipis into a baby would definitely be a glitch in the Darkners existence as That's Not Suppose To Happen BUT I am more looking forward to using pipis as a metaphor for something else. Stares at Ralsei. Anyway, it's kind of a bummer but I fuck it, it's my AU and I get to use it as a way of dealing with my own grief for a life I can't have by pointing at the characters going "Fuck you, we're in this together now."
All the pages of the dog comic has been updated YAY, got all the new sketches, new/finished dialogue, rearranged the order of things, etc. All that to say that now I don't need to use my brain to think about that stuff and just enter the flow state of drawing to render it whenever I have the hours for that lol
I keep talking about this one bc 1.) I like it :] and 2.) to help keep myself accountable LMAO, maybe after this I can also go back to that fic I have 8 finished spot arts for waiting in a folder (and like 2 more I want to add) and uuuuh finish writing it. That be nice. Man... I had forgotten about this wip
Bro I am the fakest toxic yaoi enjoyer on this whole damn website I don't want the angst anymore, I need them to be okay actually. WHAT IS THE SUFFERING ALL FOR IF NOT IN SERVICE FOR MAKING IT THROUGH TO THE OTHER END, AUGH
I have, in fact, not turned off my brain will doing the lineart for my comic and redid sketches AGAIN AKLSDJklJ, IT CAN'T BE HELPED!! If I see inconsistency I gotta fix it or it will piss me off forever
I love my dog, only the best is good for him!!! He is so cutes and it will all be worth it, trust
Little does Spamton know that the reason Tenna could get pregnant because it's... a lightner's baby!! *cue soap opera music*
(I'm sure Tenna is just drama farming for a show)
Now hang on a moment, soap operas is the best inspiration for these kinds of things, the one I'm watching rn together with my grandma has had like two different pregnancy plots already which I'll happily steal from for the sake of the fake pregnancy arc in the AU
In the tags of my pregnant dog post I did offhandedly mention stories about pet owners who's pets have faked pregnancies for more food/attention and how Tenna would 100% do that. Like, I've already had an off branch where he had a fake funeral so for this AU it is inline with his character. He would absolutely thrive from the attention given to him by everyone in Castle Town. A lot of shock and questions buuut just brush that off and focus more on the congratulations and dotting from people. He'd feel a little guilty about faking it but find ways to justify it in his head, like missing being the center of attention as TV Time is not a thing anymore in this AU and yearning for the good ol days. Spamton wouldn't be fooled he'd have to be in on this plot, or more like "don't drag ME into this" and reluctantly do the bare minimum to keep the lie alive, LMAO
It would have to come to a stop at some point bc it's not like you could fake it forever, that be too suspicious. This answer got LONG so grab some popcorn for the rest of the story that's under the cut 👇
I'm not sure on the details on HOW it'd happen, but one day he'd lose the prop (but we can't blame Spamton, he isn't enough of a hater to sabotage his husband like that). Naturally being very stressed and scatterbrained about the whole thing and uh oh the consequences of my actions. When seen without it, things would take a turn into an even worse misunderstanding "Uh, I lost it-" "OH NO, you lost the baby?! " "… (voice crack) Y EAA…" and now he's in an even worse lie than where he started. He'd still be getting attention but now it's condolences and sadness and grief for something that wasn't even real. NOW the guilt can eat him alive because "Why the fuck did I lie about this. I deserve To Die And Be Killed. Immediately." Fucked up thing is he IS grieving something, because he was faking it for so long that he got really attached to the prop and it did kind of become A Baby, a comfort object (he's just like me fr)
And again Spamton would just look on from the side like, "Oh? Lying about something significant about yourself to get attention from others and feeling the impostor syndrome? ...Couldn't be me." Yea, like that never happened 🙄 Obviously he can relate, but also I know he has that resentment still left in him from before since Big shot days when Tenna insisted on keeping their whole relationship a secret in my AU. Because Spamton had a first row ticket to see through Tenna's bullshit about wanting to look like the most perfect and bestest and loveable guy in TV World and EVERYONE was buying it but HE knew, HE Saw the cracks- we're just going to ignore the cracks? We're just going to ignore the cracks. Sure. Fine. WHATEVER!!! No one fucking listens to him anyway, it's fine, it's literally fine, who gives a shit.
Seeing Tenna fuck up this royally right in front of him where he can't deny it does give some semblance of schadenfreude for Spamton. Like, yea that's right, I Know What You Are, can't hide it from me because I was right and man is it so difficult to be this correct about everything all the time always #BigShotProblems ...But also, it doesn't actually feel that great. Not when when you have to look under the sofa and bed every day after work to find where your tiny depressed husband is hiding from the world. Like, hmm no seeing you like this kinda sucks actually. It's almost like he actually cares for him or loves him or something 🤨 Weird...
Now I don't think Spamton is the best moral compass, so it's not like he'd be the one to convince Tenna to confess to everyone what really happened and make things right. But if Tenna wanted to do that, he'd support him, BUT HE WOULD ALSO support him if he just decided to keep lying. "You're a showman Tens, you gave people a story and they ate it up and if you want to run this story you are NOT going to half-ass it, you are going to play the part with no hesitation and zero regrets." Classic fake it till you make it, lie until you don't know where the lie ends and truth begins. Spamton would keep the secret close to his chest and to his grave. Trust him, he knows how to keep secrets (laughs in still haven't told anyone about the phone bullshit)
In the end, it be up to Tenna what to do. I briefly considered running a poll about it but I do personally kinda like the more fucked up option of him choosing to keep the lie alive. He is already extra sad in this AU so him not really wanting to deal with any more negative attention of having to "come clean" would be what he'd consider the easier option. BUT if he got pressed about it by anyone he would probably crumble and confess to any person questioning him rather easily. Like Susie, he likes her a lot (and who doesn't love Susie???) and be so worried about what she'd think of him, and she would call it fucked up but also understand why he'd got in that situation and forgive him I think. Maybe even convince him to do the walk off shame and come clean to more people, but I can also see her as someone that be like "OK man, stop crying about it, I'll keep your horrible secret. (Thanks, I hate it)"
I think some people in castle town already Knows though. Like, some of them are probably too perceptive/have enough braincells to realize that it was never real in the first place. Like Ralsei, most likely, but they would either be too nice to say anything or just decided to let him have his fun to keep the peace. Walking on eggshells around this guy as per usual, let the sad old man just have this one.
