ā Ā iām a snack but everyone seems to be on a diet. Ā ā
ā Ā iām gonna replace every bone in my body with a knife, if someone punches me theyāre in for a surprise (the knife) Ā ā
āĀ let me just flirt with you and be a brat and send you cute half nudes.Ā ā
āĀ blue-flavored candy is always the best flavor of candy like what the fuck. blue raspberries arenāt even a thing. we are literally eating the color blue as a flavor and itās fucking magical.Ā ā
āĀ touch id is pissing me off. ātry againā the fuck? itās me with a lil chicken grease.Ā ā
āĀ call me in the middle of the night and tell me you canāt sleep without me.Ā ā
āĀ healthy relationships with fathers? sounds fake.Ā ā
āĀ me to my alarm in the morning: i was literally sleeping but go off i guess.Ā ā
āĀ do i blame my zodiac sign or my childhood traumas or bothĀ ā
āĀ *eating microwaved ramen noodles and watching kitchen nightmares* i cannot believe this asshole didnāt use fresh chicken in his paella, unbelievable.Ā ā
āĀ my specialty: the accidental 12 hour nap in broad daylightĀ ā
āĀ quiet little moans while making out is the hottest thing everĀ ā
āĀ date somebody who will go on a road trip with you to see americaās 10 most haunted placesĀ ā
ā Ā any vampires who need permission to enter my houseā¦. you have my permission⦠you wanna come through my window in a flurry of fog and wind?Ā you can do that⦠wanna drink my blood and take me away to your big vampire castle? alright friend, go for it Ā ā
āĀ iām the guy from the lady and the tramp who gives stray dogs pasta and stands in an alleyway playing an accordion for them Ā ā
ā Ā *nervously calls crush bro* Ā ā
āĀ i donāt have trust issues. i haveĀ āseen that shit happen before my own eyesā issues.Ā ā
āĀ fuck summer. i want it to be dark and misty and frigid and october.Ā ā
ā Ā concept: we are holding each other in bed, we look at each other and know that all that waiting all that distance was worth it to be close now Ā ā
āĀ iām so lucky to have gotten to watch you grow so much this past year. iām so proud of you. Ā ā
āĀ iām so protective of me now, iāll cut somebody off for simply having the wrong energy Ā ā
āĀ why are you trying to make me horny. bitch, you know iām making macaroni.Ā ā
āĀ date a boy who curls up on your lap, even though he is 6ā2" because he loves cuddles Ā ā
āĀ going out on a date is cool and all; but what about simply sharing a bed with someone, listening to music and discovering everything about one another, together. Ā ā
āĀ we are drunk and i ended up sitting on the bathroom counter with my legs wrapped around you, but when i wrote āmarry meā on your hand with a sharpie, i wasnāt joking.Ā ā
āĀ youāre equivalent to my favorite color. youāre the human version of what is safe.Ā ā
ā Ā one of the most toxic things iāve ever done is ignore the bad in someone because i love them.Ā ā
ā Ā you think you want me to shut up? i have to listen to myself even when iām not talking Ā ā
ā Ā why would i fuck a demon? simple, the status. imagine rolling up into hell already havin had your back blown out by one of their own. imagine you and a gang of other losers standin at the gates of hell, theyāre all crying, scared to death about having a pitchfork up their ass for eternity and you just walk into the arms of your sugar demon? legendary. Ā ā
āĀ i like wearing your clothes. they smell like you and your scent is home to me. Ā ā
ā Ā *therapist voice* you are stupid and gay.Ā ā
ā Ā i like to blame myself for everything just in case.Ā ā
āĀ the realist thing you can do for me is keep your word.Ā ā
āĀ love yourself enough to set boundaries. your time and energy are precious.Ā ā
āĀ i havenāt done anything but i sure could use a break.Ā ā
āĀ sometimes you just need to hear how much you mean to someone.Ā ā
āĀ who needs april fools. my entire life is a joke.Ā ā
ā Ā i wish i could be near you, my heart misses you.Ā Ā ā
āĀ iām not trying my hardest but iām very tired which i think should be taken into consideration.Ā ā
āĀ me @ me: donāt start buddy donāt you dare.Ā ā
āĀ so whatās next? you heal. you grow. and you help others.Ā ā
āĀ my kink is not setting an alarm for the next morning.Ā ā
āĀ if you think iām cute send me money.Ā ā
āĀ one day i will take a good selfie and you will be sorryā¦.. you will all be sorry.Ā ā
āĀ not a day passes where i donāt embarrass myself but itās ok because iām on the path to destroy my ego so i wonāt be embarrassed anymore.Ā ā
āĀ there is no reason not to love with you whole heart.Ā ā
āĀ i hope your heart heals from all the damage it took over the years.Ā ā
āĀ sometimes you just gotta say fuck it and send that text.Ā ā
ā Ā āi can see your nipples through that shirtā first of all stop being ungrateful.Ā ā
ā Ā so much is going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! itās too much!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want to sleep in the forest for 190 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! iām tired leave me alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ā ā
āĀ i heard you like bad girls. well iām badā¦.. at everything.Ā ā
āĀ yes, i am fully aware that Iām The Worst⢠but i still wanna be likeā¦ā¦. loved and stuff.Ā ā
ā Ā i really am, from the bottom of my heart, an actual fucking idiot.Ā ā
ā Ā let me show you just how good i can be.Ā ā
āĀ iām just tryna chill on a beach somewhere at 3 am.Ā ā
āĀ i have a serious weakness for thigh grabbing and hickeys.Ā ā
āĀ iām a snail and god is salting me.Ā ā
āĀ i hate texting people who donāt use a billion emojis and a trillion exclamation points in their messages. just say you hate me and want me to die.Ā ā
ā Ā being called baby?????? holding hands????!? being KISSED?!!!?!???????Ā ā
āĀ i hope your heart heals from all the damage it took over the years.Ā ā
āĀ my heart busts a nut every time someone tells me they saw something and they thought of me.Ā ā
āĀ i have hella heart eyes for you.Ā ā
āĀ youāre cute. i wanna kiss you for a whole hour.Ā ā
āĀ itās pretty iconic to like yourself.Ā ā
āĀ i am so jealous of animals that get to hibernate, like what the fuck, why canāt i just sleep for four months and then return to real life.Ā ā
āĀ stop feeling sad and acting weird you bitch (the bitch is me)Ā ā
āĀ iām still obsessed with you like itās day one.Ā ā
āĀ to quote hamlet act iii scene iii line 92,Ā ānoā.Ā ā
āĀ i would have a cuter room if i wasnāt a goblin who threw all her shit on the floor.Ā ā
āĀ on two hours of sleep iām either way too happy or violently homicidal.Ā ā
āĀ letās go on a date and by date i mean lay in bed and make out for three hours.Ā ā
āĀ alphabet soup. more like times new ramen am i right.Ā ā
āĀ tbh itās okay if no one else thinks iām funny because i think iām a riot.Ā ā
āĀ catching feelings is bullshit. iām just eating french fries, why i gotta think about kissing you? fuck you.Ā ā
āĀ smiling is so weird like you stretch your eating hole to show happiness.Ā ā
āĀ self care is putting absurd amounts of parmesan cheese on your pasta.Ā ā
āĀ you didnāt go through all of that for nothing.Ā ā
āĀ get you a girl who loses her shit every time you send a selfie.Ā ā
āĀ i wish i could be there to take care of you right now.Ā ā
āĀ home is where the heart is and my heart has always belonged to you.Ā ā
āĀ i just wanna have soft glowy skin, long eyelashes, pink lips, rosy cheeks, lots of cash, and no responsibilities.Ā ā
āĀ ok but platonic forehead kisses.Ā ā
āĀ my heart is guarded but like⦠very poorly. the kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an r-rated movie.Ā ā
āĀ what doesnāt kill me doesnāt kill me (unfortunately).Ā ā
āĀ do you ever look at a boy and wonder if he moans as pretty as he looks.Ā ā
āĀ life tip: if nothing goes right go to sleep.Ā ā
āĀ by cute do you mean you wanna frick frack or do you mean i look 12?Ā ā
āĀ cats are very pickupable and i think that was a really good choice on their part.Ā ā
āĀ donāt depend on anyone. handle your own shit.Ā ā
āĀ there isnāt one alternate reality where i didnāt fall in love with you.Ā ā
āĀ being my ex must be the worst thing. imagine losing me?Ā ā
āĀ if i sayĀ ābackstreetās backā and you do not sayĀ āALRIGHT!ā weāre not friends. burn in hell, you sick fuck.Ā ā
āĀ i love every cat in the entire world. every cat on the planet. if there are any cats in outer space, i love them too.Ā ā
āĀ my mom is really that bitch and iām that bitch jr.Ā ā
āĀ you know youāre fucked when their voice turns you on.Ā ā
āĀ donāt look at my fucking boner when we fight.Ā ā
āĀ not all heroes wear capes. a lot of them wear collars and are called dogs.Ā ā
āĀ itās you. it will always be you.Ā ā
āĀ why do tattoos cost so much? iām paying you to injure me.Ā ā
ā Ā thank you for being the biggest light in my life and saving me from the darkness. Ā ā