I got actual $4 coffee today and this is the result pls humor me
Izuku never meets All Might and never gets his quirk and so goes to college for forensics instead
Izuku needs a job that doesn’t rely 100% on quirks
He finds it in this brand new tiny cafe beside the Hero Association HQ
The owner is this skinny blond guy with too much charisma and not enough actual stomach to deal with the coffee and food he sells
Izuku has a good head on his shoulders for numbers and predictive sales and trends and he’s got a smile made of sunshine so BOOM he’s hired
Heroes come in literally everyday for the healing power of coffee and shy sunshine smiles but also advice on how to take down villains because wow that barista really knows how to get around their abilities
But okay, heroes circulate out their sidekicks all the time for both the experience and the fact that they don’t need to pay them as much (part-time sidekicks if you will)
Those part-time sidekicks start applying for positions at the rapidly getting popular cafe and now Izuku is working with actual heroes (who are still side kicks)
Ochako’s zero gravity doesn’t really help much but she’s great for heavy lifting (she’s the stocker they call in half the time because she’s STRONG)
Bakugou is NOT ALLOWED to talk to customers but he makes literally the best coffee anyone’s ever had which is the only reason he still has a job in the first place (he and Izuku aren’t allowed on the same shifts)
Iida can ramble on sometimes but he’s hecka quick on his feet so he takes on waiting duties like a duck to water
Shouji can fill literally any position and is the only other full-time employee other than Izuku (because he does night hero work rather than daytime hero work)
Yagi-San the owner seems to have some experience in the hero field but he won’t actually confirm what his hero name was (Izuku’s got some ideas but so far he thinks he was an underground hero)
Aizawa comes in every weekend after his nightly hero shifts because Mighty Coffee’s espresso is rich and full bodied, unlike his sleep schedule
The sidekicks get distracted on a daily basis by hero reports and thus Izuku ends up knowing the ins and outs of the Hero Business more than even his fanboy obsession ever did
The cafe is a hub of hero gossip and Izuku has literally never been happier because he knows about what a hero’s new moves are going to look like before anyone else
On the other hand it’s a little miserable because he really doesn’t want to know about who’s sleeping with who and wow can we not with all the scandals please
Because of his close association with all the heroes and their sidekicks, Izuku gets kidnapped on a weekly basis
Izuku knows half the city’s villain population by name now and some of them even give him cards to play with while he waits to be rescued
Izuku has actually managed to talk some of them into less violent villain activities and as a result has been “paid” for this (think of it like when a cat brings dead animals to their owners)
Izuku may or may not have halved violent crime with his words and actions alone within a year
Izuku just wants finals to end already (the villains actually make a pact not to kidnap him during finals week and Izuku gives them all cakes in return because thanks for letting him study)
the heroes are always confused
coffee and college, peas in a pod and the rulers of my life
The villains start making orders from the cafe so that when they kidnap Izuku they can get sandwiches and coffee at the same time (Bakugou may or may not have spit in their coffee once or twice)
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