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Something new

Summary: You’ve been on Smosh for a good enough amount of time for you to say you knew your coworkers pretty well. And more so you knew Spencer Agnew pretty well. You talk to each other every day, he knows some of your deepest secrets and you know about his. But, you may arbor a secret hidden deep in your heart… that even you didn’t know.

Pairing: Spencer Agnew x GN!reader

Word count: 4k

Note: After two weeks my first fanfic is finally out, so.. any constructive criticism is welcomed, and I’m so excited to be doing this cuz a couple years ago I almost published on wattpad but then decided against it. But hopefully I’m not gonna do the same thing again and actually post things. Also midway in I realised my writing was like, packed, and I had to change some things. So if you see any incoherent sentences or smt just lmk. I like talking If u didn’t notice.. chile anyways thank you if you decide to read this corny ahh story I’m gonna let u go now

I’m also gonna pretend Alex Tran never left cuz he’s such a sweetheart and he’s kinda cute ngl… what omg who said that.

ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ᖭི༏ᖫྀ

You’ve had this job as an editor for Smosh for ten years now. You were there for the Defy era, when Anthony left, when mythical bought Smosh and when Anthony came back and both him and Ian bought Smosh back, up until now. Some of those years were hard but all your friends and colleagues helped you stay up during those times. But it was mostly because of the one you were closest with, Spencer.

The first time you had seen him was during your first week at Smosh in 2016. He immediately caught your eye with those witty jokes and… uh… yeah, that’s pretty it. But nonetheless, he did joke his way into your heart, and you soon considered him as a close friend you could always talk to about anything anywhere.

After all those years, your friendship never faltered and you stayed strong during the hardest times at Smosh. Now, the company never felt better and Spencer and you were both doing great on and off camera.

Your friendship bloomed and now Spencer brings you tea every morning with a different opinion on a game he just played.

“Bro Leon’s muscles got so much bigger in the new game, it’s actually crazy. That’s all people talk about.” He says, placing one mug with tea on your desk, with the other in his right hand.

“Good morning to you too Spencer.” You take the mug he gave you and take a sip while finally looking into his eyes.

He looks at you like you must know what he’s talking about. And if you didn’t? Well, you sure will after he’s done talking to you.

But before he could start talking in length and depth about some guy’s muscles you start talking about something else.

“Are you in any shoots today? Or just editing and doing, whatever a Smosh games director does?”

“Uh no, I’m just directing a Scrabble Slam game today. With Chanse, Damien, Arasha and Courtney it’s gonna be chill for a friday.” He pushes his glasses up his nose.

Spencer then starts looking around like he was searching for someone.

“Have you seen Alex Tran anywhere? I gotta talk to him before we start shooting.” He glances towards Alex’s desk only to find it empty.

“Maybe he’s on set. You know, like preparing stuff or something. That, or he went to take a shit in the bathroom, you never know.”

He chuckles at your kinda stupid but realistic theory of Alex absolutely destroying the company bathroom before the day even started.

“Yeah I think I’m gonna go check the set first, thanks.”

Spencer doesn’t start his way to the set like you thought he would, and he just stands there staring into your eyes.

You stare at each other for a moment, though you don’t know how much time passes. It feels like decades but seconds at the same time, but either way you can’t tear your eyes from him.

The air seems to become heavier and tension is building. You suddenly have difficulty breathing, but that doesn’t have anything to do with Spencer… right? Right. It's just the tea doing something weird to you. Probably.

“Hey Spenc- oh sorry, am I.. interrupting something?”

You both look away only to find Alex staring at you like you both might explode in the next five seconds, which, let’s be honest, was probably really close to reality.

You feel your cheeks burn for apparently no reason, though it might be for being caught staring longingly in your best friend's eyes. Spencer stumbles on his words before being able to answer Alex.

“Uh no, no you’re fine Alex. We were just.. uh.. talking. Yeah just.. just talking you know.”

You look up to see Spencer, and you’re surprised to catch the slight red tint on his cheeks. But before you could dig further into it, he rapidly changes the conversation around.

“Where were you? I've been looking for you dude. We have to talk before we go on set.” He asks, skillfully distracting both Alex and you from the awkward situation you found yourselves in.

“Oh yeah, I was in the bathroom, took some time. What is it you wanna talk about?”

You and Spencer quickly look at each other and almost burst out laughing. You hide your smile with your hand and look away, trying to calm down.

“Are y’all… okay?” Alex squints at us.

“Yeah we’re fine, don’t worry about it, man.” You force out without breaking.

“If you say so… I’m gonna go in the kitchen, you can join me there Spence. See you later, y/n.” Alex walks away, still perplexed about your weird reactions.

Spencer and you share a glance before laughter erupts. You’re leaning forward, holding your desk so you don’t fall over cackling. Spencer’s whole body is shaking, and he’s hiding half his face with his hand, trying to hide the tiny blush on his cheeks caused by your laugh.

You both are giggling messes, but you wouldn’t ask for anything else right now. Being yourself with Spencer is just.. fulfilling.

With a last sigh, you both come to a stop in your laughter.

Spencer gets up from where he’s leaning on your desk and turns to you.

“Should’ve placed a bet on where he was, you would’ve won millions.” He says, along with his charming smile. You can feel your heart beat hard in your chest, like it wants to escape your ribcage.

“Yeah, should’ve.” Your voice is just above a whisper.

Silence stretches between you.

He’s looking at you like he wants to say something but can’t find the right words.

“You should go find Alex before he actually drags you by your collar.” You softly smile.

“Yeah…” He sighs. “See you later?”

“See you later.”

Spencer leaves with an ache in his chest, glancing back at you once before breaching the kitchen door, tea still in hand. The whole time, you stare at his back, only looking away a couple seconds after he’s gone.

You turn back to your computer, only to see Amanda’s eyes peeking from the top.

“Hi? You okay?” You are genuinely concerned for her.

“I should be the one to ask you. What was all… That?” She gently asks, leaning in like she was sharing a secret.

“And, what exactly is… That?”

“Are you kidding? You and Spencer just stared at each other like he was your husband leaving for war. For so long too.” Amanda utters, baffled you hadn’t realised.

“What? No we didn’t. We were just talking, that’s all.”

“Right… And I never got pregnant! Your eyes don’t lie sweetie, there’s definitely something there.” She walks around your desk and props herself up beside you, right where Spencer was.

“No, there’s nothing between us Amanda.” You look up at her. “I don’t even like him like that! You feel your heart tighten at your own words.

“Then how do you feel?”

You close your mouth, trying to form words in your head before they get out without your consent.

Spencer is definitely a sweetheart, I wouldn’t want to destroy our friendship of ten years just because of stupid feelings. I don’t think I could live without him, even if I tried.

He’s already doing so much for me, I wouldn’t want to impede on him any more. He brings me tea everyday, when I’m feeling down he’s the first to notice and the first to tell me to sit down and drink some water. He’s the one that comes by my house with a light meal when I’m sick, and the one that lets me use his shoulder to cry on. He gives me his hoodie when I’m cold, only to tell me to keep it because it apparently looks better on me anyway.

But at the same time… It would be so good. I could hold his hand when we’re walking side by side. We’d spend every day together, talking and playing games while he’s playing with my hair and I’m staring at his tattoos with no remorse.

Sure, we already do a lot of those things, and the only thing that would really change is our title, with of course the kissing and stuff…

Oh god… The number of times I've spent dreaming about kissing his lips, his jaw, his neck, his chest… The thought of that alone could overpower my desire to not ruin our friendship.

But then, we could stare and hold each other while we’re laying in bed… Realising that’s where we want to be for the rest of our lives. We could order take out and cuddle on the couch while watching a sappy romance movie we’re not really paying attention to, only thinking about the other.

In other words, I really, really want to go out with Spencer.

But, can I? Will he let me or am I going to completely fuck up those ten years we’ve spent learning to know the other inside and out.

“y/n?” Amanda rips you out of your mind, concerned as you’ve been staring at nothing while gnawing at your nail for the past five minutes after she asked you that stupid question. “You okay in there?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine, just… Contemplating on things.” You try to sound convincing, but she already knows what you were thinking about just now.

You sigh. “The thing is, I don’t want to stop being friends with him only because I… Like him. I mean, I shouldn’t even be feeling those things for him in the first place. It’s not right.” You look down.

“y/n…” Amanda takes your hand in hers, making you look up at her.

“It’s okay to feel. It’s even more okay to feel for Spencer. He’s an awesome guy, and honestly? He’s perfect for you. He cares so much about you, and he would never let you go for something so tiny. But I know, y/n, that he likes you very much, just like you do. He just doesn’t want to lose you either, so he never told you. This man is hopelessly in love with you. He brings you tea every morning, and he doesn’t do that for anyone else and sometimes I see you glance at each other and it’s like you have a whole conversation with just your eyes. If you want something to happen, you have to act on it.”

She jolts you up on your feet, a determined look on her face.

“Tonight. Invite him over to your place, and when you’re done eating and you’re watching a move or something, confess how you feel. Tell him exactly what you’re thinking, and I assure you everything’s going to be alright. If he’s too chicken to admit it, then you’ll have to.”

She squeezes your hands.

Tonight? Confess my feelings?

“Amanda, I don’t know… What if he rejects me, I’ll never be able to face him ever again after this.” you feel yourself panic, absolutely scared shitless of Spencer never talking to you again because you said you liked him.

“He’s not, trust me.” She locks eyes with you. “But in the 0.1% chance that he doesn’t like you back… then he’s missing out on something awesome and he’s going to regret it.”

You crack a smile. “If you’re so sure about this then… I think I’m going to do it.”

Amanda smiles proudly. “There you go. That’s the y/n I know.”

You chuckle, feeling a lot better than before. Now, you’re sure about your feelings for Spencer and you’re going to tell him tonight.

You’re really scared but also kinda excited for him to know exactly what you’re feeling.

“Okay. I have to go, but if you need to talk before tonight, you know where to find me, alright?”

You nod, also having to go back to work so the day can pass faster to the end of the day.

Amanda steps away, and leaves you alone with your now clear thoughts.

For now, you focus on work and you try not to think too much about tonight.

— — — —

By the end of the day, you’re exhausted. You’ve been staring at a screen for hours and you’re more than ready to go home.

You save everything and close your computer with a sigh. You stretch your arms up, your shirt lifting a little, only to show a tiny peak of your skin.

Ugh, I’m so tired, but still…

You get that weird feeling in your chest when you’re stressed, and you know exactly why. All day, you’ve been nervous about telling Spencer. What’s he going to say? Is he going to hate you? Or like you back? If you think with what Amanda told you, he shouldn’t leave your apartment the second you tell him right?

You get up, furtively glancing around the office to find Spencer. You catch a glimpse of his curly dark hair by the door of the game’s set, talking with who seems to be Luke.

You slowly pack up your things, trying not to let fear consume your thoughts. If it does, you’re probably going to run away and never talk to him.

You suddenly hear footsteps coming your way, and you’re pretty sure it’s Spencer.

Okay. I can do this, I just have to ask him if he wants to come to my apartment tonight. We’re going to order some Homestate and maybe watch a movie. Then, I’m going to say “Oh hey, by the way, I kinda like you… alot…” And if he rejects me… I’m going to laugh and say “It’s a prank, hahaha so funny.” That way, I don’t completely embarrass myself.

You sip up your bag and put it on your shoulder, before turning around. You come face to face with Spencer, and for a moment, you just stare into his beautiful brown eyes. You snap back to reality when a hand waves in front of your face.

“You okay in there?”

You stare at him for a second, then as reality checks in, you feel your cheeks burn.

“Yeah I am, sorry about that.” You look away, suddenly unable to look at him. He stares at you oddly, wondering why you’re acting so weird. This morning you were fine, so, what happened?

Before he could put a word in, you start talking.

“Hey, so…” You pause. “Do you want to hang out tonight? It could be at my apartment, and we can order something. Then we’ll watch a movie, if you want.” You awkwardly ask.

You both start walking to the exit, walking side by side.

He stares at you for a moment, and it makes you wonder if you said something wrong.

“Hell yeah, we haven’t hung you in a while.” He softly smiles at you, the smile that never shows on camera, the one only you and some of your coworkers get to see.

You relax slightly. “Cool. wanna come over at like, eight?” You hopefully say.

You reach the door, and he opens it for you, letting you pass before getting out too. Your cars are kinda close, so you walk together to them.

“For sure. I can get some Homestate on the way, if you want.” He smirks, knowing you’ll say yes like every other time he’s proposed that.

“Yeah that would be great, actually.”

You come to a stop as you finally reach your car. You look at Spencer, and you help but feel the love you have for him, silently hoping he does too.

“So… Later alligator?” You cringe, you talked before thinking again. “Sorry, don’t know why I said that..”

He chuckles softly as you open your car door but don’t step in yet.

“In a while crocodile.” His voice is merely a whisper as he says that. He then starts walking away, waving at you. You wave back, getting in your car and softly closing the door.

You can’t wait for tonight.

— — — —

You’re on your couch, scrolling on your phone. It’s almost 8 pm and you’re trying not to panic send a text to Spencer saying he shouldn’t come over.

You take a deep breath, closing your phone and putting it face down on the table in front of you.

You lean on the couch, trying to get comfortable while waiting for Spencer, when a knock sounds from your door, making you jump up. You hurry to the door, unlocking it before swinging it open.

There stood Spencer, Homestate bag in hand, a soft smile on his face.

“Hi. Come in.” You open the door wider, letting him through.

He goes straight for the table in front of your couch, putting the bag down and then digging in. you softly close the door, turning to face him.

“I got our usual. What are we watching?” He gets his food out in front of him and puts yours on his right, where you always sit.

You linger near the door, suddenly uncertain about all this. He notices you’re not seated next to him yet, so he glances up at you.

“Are you stuck to the door or something? Come sit.” He says, raising an eyebrow under his glasses.

You hesitate, but end up giving in to his request, your voice almost a whisper. “Yeah.”

You give him a soft smile, going to sit on the couch to his right, in front of the food he already put out for you. You settle in, your thighs touching a little making your neck warm up.

He feels your thigh but says nothing, not wanting you to pull away. Instead, he puts a blanket that was on the back of the couch on both your legs.

“Wanna watch Glatiator? I know we’ve both seen it but it’s been a while.” He leans back, his hands on his legs. He noted something was off with you when you asked him to hang out earlier this day, and tonight was probably a good time to ask you about it. Later, he tells himself.

“Uh, yeah that’s good.”

He puts the movie on, glancing at you once before you both start eating.

A quarter done in the movie and both of you finished your plates. You’re now silently watching the movie, thighs still touching.

The famous quote “Are you not entertained!” happens, but after that you weren’t really watching anymore. Spencer had put his arm on the back of the couch, which means it’s now around your shoulders. The warmth on the back of your neck is almost suffocating, but he doesn’t seem to notice. You’re squirming, trying really hard to focus on the movie in front of you, but you just can’t when Spencer’s so close to you.

He frowns, turning to you as he notices your fidgeting,

“Are you okay? I saw you were acting weird today and it just seems to be worse now. Do you want to talk about it?” He gently asks.

You sigh, looking down. “I’m fine, I just…” You pause, glancing into his eyes. “Can you promise me something?”

“Of course, anything.”

“Can you promise to not hate me after this? You’re my best friend and I wouldn’t want that to end.”

He frowns. “You’re scaring me a little but… I promise to not hate you after.”

You look at the wall in front of you and take a deep breath, praying for everything to go right.

“Listen, we’ve been friends for ten years, and it's probably been going on for some time now, but I like you. Like really, really like you. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and it’s totally okay if you don’t like me back, but I just had to tell you. It’s been taking over all my thoughts for the whole day and I don’t think I could’ve spent longer without telling you. If you find me gross and weird-”

“Y/n.”

“-I understand, but I’d really like if we could stay friends because you’re really important to me-”

“Y/n!”

You stop, mouth still open. You didn’t expect him to talk so loud— granted, you just did not hear when he talked normally— so you just gape at him, eyes wide.

He looks amused by your speech, and that could mean so many things. He could be mocking you, pitying you, just being polite. You hope it’s none of those.

“Sorry for shouting, but you weren’t letting me say a word. In fact, I do like you too. I have for a while.” He rubs the back of his neck, like he’s trying to shoo away the heat crawling up.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you, but every time I wanted to either someone interrupted or I got scared. I was- I am scared because I don’t want to lose you. You’re the person I cherish the most, I don’t think I could live without you.”

You stay silent, heat rising to your cheeks. Your heart beats fast and your hands are sweaty.

After a couple seconds, you finally talk. “You… like me?”

“I do. It’s pretty hard not to. You’re incredible in many ways.”

“Shut up.” You laugh, getting embarrassed.

He looks you in the eyes, suddenly serious. You’re facing each other, and you feel a pull towards him. You glance down at his lips, him doing the same.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks softly, like he can’t disrupt the air in between the two of you.

“Please.”

He puts his left hand on your cheek, the other on the back of the couch, out of the way. He closes the space between you and puts his lips on yours.

It’s soft and hesitant, but it’s like the world stops. You don’t feel fireworks in your belly like in those books, what you feel is way better. You can feel all the love Spencer pours in the kiss, like it’s been filled to the brim and it’s now allowed to flow freely.

After a while, you finally separate, but just enough to see the other. You don’t say anything, not because you don’t want to, but because there’s no need for words. You both know exactly how you feel, and all you need is the other.

So, with big smiles on your faces, you turn to the TV again, his arm around your shoulders and your head on his chest, both content.

You wouldn’t have it any other way.

— — — —

BONUS SCENE:

“You should go find Alex before he actually drags you by your collar.” You softly smile.

“Yeah…” He sighs. “See you later?”

“See you later.”

Spencer leaves with an ache in his chest, glancing back at you once before breaching the kitchen door, tea still in hand. The whole time, you stare at his back, only looking away a couple seconds after he’s gone.

Spencer steps in the kitchen, seeing Alex waiting by the fridge.

“Hey man. So I’ve been thinking, we should do a karen’s ultimate werewolf. It would be pretty funny. We could ask-”

“What’s up with you and Y/n?” Alex interrupts, looking directly at Spencer.

“What?”

“You and Y/n. When I came to talk to you it felt really tense. Are you both okay?” Alex is genuinely concerned for his friends, he never saw them like that, he doesn’t know what’s happening.

“Oh, yeah don’t worry, we’re good.”

“You sure?”

Spencer hesitates. Should he tell Alex his feelings for you? The look on Alex’s face pushes him to speak.

“I mean, I kinda have feelings for Y/n. I have been for a while, but I don’t want to lose them because I’m pretty sure they don’t like me like that.” He looks down, playing with his hoodie string.

“Well, I’m pretty sure they do like you like that. I’ve seen the way they look at you, and also the way you look at them. If they don’t have feelings for you then I don’t know what’s that look in their eyes.” Alex says with a confident tone.

Spencer is skeptical, unsure of his claims.

“How can you be so sure?” He frowns.

“Just trust me bro.”

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