Lazy should be an occupation

[ging-ler]

Love when Tumblr recommends me a post based on my likes and the post is just a picture of a cardboard box filled with water

[ging-ler]

Like okay???

[bookstoner]

The best ever episode of catfish

[laurakvstheworld]

I’ve seen this photo set a million times and I had no idea it was catfish. I thought this was from a scripted comedy show of some sort.

[segamascott]

[amerykah]

ADHD is so funny it's like I diagnose you with lazy inconsiderate fuckup disease. And it's incurable. Here's meth

[thememedaddy]

[ascendingconures]

[memewhore]

[ihavenohotcocoa]

babe are you okay you reblogged got that fog in me 11 times

[catgirlanarchist]

wait, i did? i don't remember doing that...

[unpretty]

woke up and immediately checked the news to make sure they hadn't caught him

[unpretty]

[itseasytoremember]

my favourite thing about big dogs is when you push ‘em over they’re just like 

“oh i’m lying down now! someone might scratch my stomach!!! i might nap!! endless possibilities!!!’

[mizshylock-deactivated20151216]

Whereas you push little dogs over and they’re all like “Vengeance! Death before dishonor!”

[itseasytoremember]

People are reblogging this (9 year) old post and messaging me like “why would you push a dog over?”

Uhh For belly rubs????? To wrastle???? I’m not randomly shoving dogs on the street you animals

[mantis-an-animal]

I am. Dogs never know what to expect from me. I walk by and suddenly they’re on the ground and don’t even know what (figuratively) hit ‘em. I don’t even stick around, I vanish into the wind and they never see me again.

[itseasytoremember]

Tumblr user @mantis-a-shrimp seeing a dog on the street

[mclennonyaoi]

i hate australian people they need a dumb fucking nickname for every single word. can’t even get in a car accident without some australian asshole coming up to you and saying “oh gotcha self in a carblammy there aintcha mate” kill yourself and go to hell

[mclennonyaoi]

fuck off are you serious?

[mclennonyaoi]

oh my god

[mclennonyaoi]

how do you have 2 silly words for a car crash

[bewbin]

I was bleeding out in the snow and it was all cool and stuff until like a bunch of teenager showed up and then It got really cringe so I put all the blood back and went to go bleed out somewhere else but all the good bleed out places were taken so I decided just to die like a natural peaceful death like look overlooking the Cliffside but lo and behold somebody's already fucking dying there against a tree and it looks way sicker than what I had planned I guess I'll just fucking live

[mens-rights-activia]

[oblivious-aro]

I am too caught up in the first two-thirds of the first sentence to care about the gross negligence of civic duty or whatever going down below.

[weinermannnnn]

which is multiple times a year because i have many legal identities is the funniest thing ive read today

[soesdabronx]

[wormcosmologies]

free my man he did all of it but i dont care

[sunbummonkey]

the CEO shooter

[lesbinewren]

we need to make using chatgpt embarrassing bc sorry it really is. what do you mean you can’t write an email

[chicks]

[devoid-of-love]

who wanna hotbox the high anxiety dog crate with me